The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[bluemoose]

Hey you kids, get off my lawn!

 

[paulthenurse]

Look, I'm just the one who is saying it. You all know you feel the exact same way. Ride down the street at three in the afternoon. You want to open a vein. The f'ing bus will stop at a house. Some little **** gets out. Mommy is waiting at the end of the driveway. She hugs the little bastard like he's just returning from Mars, then the two of them turn to wave goodbye to the bus. Then the bus starts down the road and stops AT THE VERY NEXT DRIVEWAY!!!!!! And the whole process is repeated!.

And we're not talking about the feeb bus either. The regular bus. Da fuq?

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Hey you kids, get off my lawn!

Don't forget about the squirrels.


I'm gonna have to agree with Paulie tho. The street I exit out from on the way to work is very narrow. There's one of those bus stops every 30' at the intersection and instead of mommy walking the 30' from their house to the bus stop, she needs to pull the SUV/boat out and drive it the 30' to park it right at the intersection blocking half the road. I guess she needs the comfort of heated seats in order to txt and squak as she sits and waits for the bus to come.

Meanwhile they're blocking the exit onto the busy street and the other parents returning from dropping their kids off come screaming around the corner without looking as you try to pass the parked SUV onto the street.

It's even worse if the rug rats are outside of the car. They'll start darting back and forth from one side of the street to the suv. Meanwhile, mom is waving hello to me while I'm giving the hairy eyeball and murmuring expletives as an on coming car is about to crash into me.

 

[Cape Brewing]

I don't like anyone.

Especially Cape.

I think that is a #lie

 

[paulthenurse]

Ok. Fine. I like Yooper.

She's got a great rack.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Plus she gave you some homemade spa soaps to use in your outdoor shower.

 

[Yooper]

Ok. Fine. I like Yooper.

She's got a great rack.

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWtUVDG5M1w&ab_channel=Getbloopit[/ame]

 

[paulthenurse]

Well, parts of you, hell ya! Don't forget, you did rub them up against me.

I'm wicked shallow. I admit it.

Just don't step off the curb and expect me to stop. I'll run over you AND your major league yabos.

 

[paulthenurse]

Don't forget about the squirrels.


I'm gonna have to agree with Paulie tho. The street I exit out from on the way to work is very narrow. There's one of those bus stops every 30' at the intersection and instead of mommy walking the 30' from their house to the bus stop, she needs to pull the SUV/boat out and drive it the 30' to park it right at the intersection blocking half the road. I guess she needs the comfort of heated seats in order to txt and squak as she sits and waits for the bus to come.

Meanwhile they're blocking the exit onto the busy street and the other parents returning from dropping their kids off come screaming around the corner without looking as you try to pass the parked SUV onto the street.

It's even worse if the rug rats are outside of the car. They'll start darting back and forth from one side of the street to the suv. Meanwhile, mom is waving hello to me while I'm giving the hairy eyeball and murmuring expletives as an on coming car is about to crash into me.

You're being kind. Because let's face it, usually mommy is sitting in the friggin' SUV putting on her friggin' make up and talking on her cell phone, while her spawn is out running around on the sidewalk.

 

[paulthenurse]

I ought to get to decide who can reproduce. The world would be a much better place.

 

[Yooper]

Well, parts of you, hell ya! Don't forget, you did rub them up against me.

I'm wicked shallow. I admit it.

Just don't step off the curb and expect me to stop. I'll run over you AND your major league yabos.

Oh, no, I know you love me for who I am and not my body. You can't fool me.

 

[paulthenurse]

Nah. I'm shallow. I like you for your hooters. Almost as nice as Al's.

But they're kind of like Heady Topper. Sure they're nice but they're brewed with Unobtainium and that makes them special.


Holy sh!t!!!!! Do people drive 5-6 hours and stand in line for hours just to cop a feel of Betty and Wilma? Da fuq?

 

[Melana]

I've heard that the UP is an exotic vacation spot.

 

[nhwrecker]

Wow. I always knew that if you wanted to feel thin, hang out next to Paulie. Now, if you want to feel better, you can hang next to Paulie too. He's such a bitter fat white guy, that I'm going to be smiling all day thinking of him behind a school bus.

Ahhhhh. Nice relaxing Monday morning. Particularly right after all of our football teams won yesterday. Isn't that right Yoop? Yoop? Did I say something wrong?

 

[Yooper]

I've heard that the UP is an exotic vacation spot.

You would love it here. Paulie wouldn't last a day.

Wow. I always knew that if you wanted to feel thin, hang out next to Paulie. Now, if you want to feel better, you can hang next to Paulie too. He's such a bitter fat white guy, that I'm going to be smiling all day thinking of him behind a school bus.

Ahhhhh. Nice relaxing Monday morning. Particularly right after all of our football teams won yesterday. Isn't that right Yoop? Yoop? Did I say something wrong?

Oh, the Packers did suck. I'm not like a Patriots fan who can't admit when the Golden Boy isn't perfect.

 

[nhwrecker]

That's not TRUE. We just haven't had to experience that yet..........

 

[Cape Brewing]

Troo story

 

[paulthenurse]

He's such a bitter fat white guy, that I'm going to be smiling all day thinking of him behind a school bus.

Racist.

 

[Melana]

So you're a bitter fat racist?

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Gaaaah!!! Dion Lewis out for the rest of the season with torn ACL

 

[the_bird]

Next man up.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Yea. Better make sure Blount goes to CCD to stay on the straight and narrow.

 

[Melana]

Yea. Better make sure Blount goes to CCD to stay on the straight and narrow.

The Narragansett Bay Oyster Baron?

 

[paulthenurse]

I don't get it. I'm dumb

 

[bluemoose]

Relevant fact

 

[Melana]

Ok... So you're a dumb bitter fat racist?

 

[Cape Brewing]

.... don't forget "terrible builder of pizza ovens". Add that to the title

 

[nhwrecker]

and "Guardian of the shed bodies"....

 

[paulthenurse]

My personal favorite is "Hung like a horse."

 

[bluemoose]

Seahorse?