The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Melana]

Ok. I've got a question...

I work in an ER in the area of the city that was once referred to as the 'ghetto' but in these more enlightened times is called an 'area in transition.' I know why I need to be here on Thanksgiving, it's to wipe up the blood. Got it.

Why in the world does a paper mill need to be open on T-Day?

I'm guessing some things stop for nothing.

Paul, thank you for working on Thanksgiving.

 

[paulthenurse]

Believe me, there was no altruism involved. Nor is the holiday pay the reason I'm here. I would way rather shut this place down and give everyone a four day weekend. Lets face it, most people who come to our ED should stay home, take an aspirin, put some ice on it, put down the crack pipe, put down the E & J and they'd be fine.

But there are a few bad apples in every bunch who ruin it for everybody. "Oh SURE, you just had to have your heart attack tonight! Like it couldn't keep till Monday! You selfish barstid. I wanted to watch football." Some people got a lot of nerve.

You're welcome, Melana.

 

[Melana]

Believe me, there was no altruism involved. Nor is the holiday pay the reason I'm here. I would way rather shut this place down and give everyone a four day weekend. Lets face it, most people who come to our ED should stay home, take an aspirin, put some ice on it, put down the crack pipe, put down the E & J and they'd be fine.

But there are a few bad apples in every bunch who ruin it for everybody. "Oh SURE, you just had to have your heart attack tonight! Like it couldn't keep till Monday! You selfish barstid. I wanted to watch football." Some people got a lot of nerve.

You're welcome, Melana.

And Paul takes it to a new level.... Again!

 

[Oginme]

Ok. I've got a question...


Why in the world does a paper mill need to be open on T-Day?

Two reasons, once you get everything rolling in a paper mill, stoppage is a huge pain in the a$$ to get everything going again. Second, especially at this time of year where I worked in Maine and Northern NY, if the water in the pipes freeze, you're toast. The hot water going through the lines is the only source of heat for most parts of the mill.

I have a number of friends who are doctors, nurses, EMTs, and ambulance drivers, many of whom volunteer to cover shifts during the holiday. They make a real sacrifice in giving up their own family time for the sake of others they work with and who may need their services.

 

[Oginme]

And Paul takes it to a new level.... Again!

You can always count on Paul to bring the conversation to a new (ahem!) 'high' in depths.

 

[paulthenurse]

My subtle sarcasm appears to lose some of its nuances in print. Oh well... There is a kid in room 22, I'll go tell her jokes and pinch her if she doesn't laugh.

 

[Melana]

Oh I was laughing...

 

[paulthenurse]

You just don't want me pinching you.

 

[Melana]

Guilty as charged.

 

[Melana]

Your avatar can pinch my avatar....

 

[Bulls Beers]

Your avatar can pinch my avatar....

Ok, now we're talking...

 

[bluemoose]

Sweet! Avatar on avatar action.

 

[Melana]

It's virtually exciting!

 

[paulthenurse]

I appreciate the offer but Ive seen Big John's avatar and I'm scared. And I've seen Big John and I'm even more scared. . And I'm scared of Alice most of all, HBT avatar or not, so I guess I'll pass. Thanks though.

 

[Oginme]

The question is are you really scared or just virtually scared of Big John's avatar. Either way, sound choice!

 

[paulthenurse]

Big John is a ***** cat. I'm really not scared of him or his avatar. SWMBO, OTOH, is SWMBO. Prudence dictates being scared of her finding out I've been pinching Melana or her Avatar.

( I'm really not stupid, despite the vacant gaze on my puss, and I'm only half the D-bag I pretend to be. Which still makes me a D-bag of legendary proportion.)

 

[yeager1977]

So I had an interesting day yesterday. Brewed 45 gallons of pale ale in one batch using bog inns old 1.5 bbl brew pots and mash tun. My efficiency was crazy good at 84.4%. FW did a great design. That atleast helps overcome capes tendency toward crappy beer.

 

[paulthenurse]

Good grief! Even at the rate you put it away its going to take a LONG time to drink 45 gallons of Blueberry Balls Beer.

 

[yeager1977]

Good grief! Even at the rate you put it away its going to take a LONG time to drink 45 gallons of Blueberry Balls Beer.

Actually neighbor and I did it and are giving kegs to neighbors. we are the nice neighbors. I can't make friends so I buy them off.

 

[paulthenurse]

How many pounds of blueberries go into 45 gallons of beer anyways? And where do you get fresh blueberries in November?

 

[yeager1977]

How many pounds of blueberries go into 45 gallons of beer anyways? And where do you get fresh blueberries in November?

According to Alice you have blue balls. And since you aren't using them, I figured you would onto miss them.

 

[paulthenurse]

Am I the only one who notices that Yeager's grammar, spelling and punctuation all have a direct negative relationship with the time of night when he makes his posts? And the overall testosterone level has a positive relationship with that same time of day?

(Which was a highbrow way of saying, "There goes Chris, drunk-posting again.")

Chris, next time you get all feisty and testosterone fueled late at night you should shut off the computer and carry that swagger upstairs. See how far that gets you.

 

[Melana]

Actually neighbor and I did it and are giving kegs to neighbors. we are the nice neighbors. I can't make friends so I buy them off.

That's it! We are moving to your neighborhood

 

[paulthenurse]

That's it! We are moving to your neighborhood

Before you know it the entire cast of the MassHole thread will live in Norton. With the exception of me and AZ. I'm not moving there because I refuse to have sex with sheep. AZ won't because the sheep all signed a petition to keep him out.

 

[Melana]

Before you know it the entire cast of the MassHole thread will live in Norton. With the exception of me and AZ. I'm not moving there because I refuse to have sex with sheep. AZ won't because the sheep all signed a petition to keep him out.

I don't think the_bird will move this way... Too much competition for the sheep.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Dont forget about THC. Im sure anyone moving into the neighborhood should be told about that thing.

 

[the_bird]

Dakota doesn't care for the sheep, but keep him away from the holiday turkey.

 

[DakotaRules]

Dakota doesn't care for the sheep, but keep him away from the holiday turkey.

I'm all about the Twerky!

 

[paulthenurse]

Dont forget about THC. Im sure anyone moving into the neighborhood should be told about that thing.

OK, I just woke up and the coffee is still brewing. What is THC? (I'm assuming you aren't talking about medical MJ.)

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

I just bought and renovated a house, sorry I am not moving, especially for blueberry beer. Utopias maybe, but not blueberry