The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread
- Thread starter Scele
- Start date
Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:
Dear No Hydro,
You need to learn how to Barleywine. Rack that beast to a secondary and let it sit for 6 months or a year. Preferably with Brett
. Then dry hop for another few weeks and package (if you're bottle carbing, with fresh yeast). Problem solved.
Sincerely,
Loves me some Stock Ale
You need to learn how to Barleywine. Rack that beast to a secondary and let it sit for 6 months or a year. Preferably with Brett
. Then dry hop for another few weeks and package (if you're bottle carbing, with fresh yeast). Problem solved.Sincerely,
Loves me some Stock Ale
Dear idiot brain,
You cannot tell the hands to vent 35 psi through the liquid out post. It gets messy. You should now apologize to the ceiling and SWMBO's nice light thing for getting IPA all over them.
Sincerely,
Your idiot owner
You cannot tell the hands to vent 35 psi through the liquid out post. It gets messy. You should now apologize to the ceiling and SWMBO's nice light thing for getting IPA all over them.
Sincerely,
Your idiot owner
slym2none
"Lazy extract brewer."
Dear No Hydro,
You need to learn how to Barleywine. Rack that beast to a secondary and let it sit for 6 months or a year. Preferably with Brett
Sincerely,
Loves me some Stock Ale
Dear Stock Ale,
I am still a green noob. I probably bit off more than I can chew just making a brew that I won't even taste for 7 months. No secondary, and Brett scares the hell out of me.
Sincerely, No Hydro
Hoppity
Just brew it!
Dear B.B. King,
I know it has been a few days, but I wanted to thank you for inspiring so many of the heroes of my youth; then just hanging out and being great for decades while my appreciation of your music and performing style grew.
Sincerely,
Someone touched by your legacy
I know it has been a few days, but I wanted to thank you for inspiring so many of the heroes of my youth; then just hanging out and being great for decades while my appreciation of your music and performing style grew.
Sincerely,
Someone touched by your legacy
Dear no hydrometer
Buy a hydrometer
Sincerely
Anyone who brews
Buy a hydrometer
Sincerely
Anyone who brews
Dear Beer Gut,
I know we have been together for 20 years,
but I have to spend a week on the beach,
so I am doing my best to lose a bit of you,
Sincerely
Burritos and Beer is an awesome meal, every night!
I know we have been together for 20 years,
but I have to spend a week on the beach,
so I am doing my best to lose a bit of you,
Sincerely
Burritos and Beer is an awesome meal, every night!
Dear post-workout beer,
I hate the gym, but I love you. Ok, I also kind of love the gym, somewhat.
Sincerely,
I earned this sh**.
Dear fat gut,
6 pounds gone in a week. And that was slacking too. I've been working even harder this week. Your days are numbered.
Sincerely,
Finally getting myself in shape.
I hate the gym, but I love you. Ok, I also kind of love the gym, somewhat.
Sincerely,
I earned this sh**.
Dear fat gut,
6 pounds gone in a week. And that was slacking too. I've been working even harder this week. Your days are numbered.
Sincerely,
Finally getting myself in shape.
gratus fermentatio
Well-Known Member
Dear God:
Just for the weekend, that's all I'm asking.
Sincerely, Not a snowball's chance on my own.
PS: Even the dog knows!
Just for the weekend, that's all I'm asking.
Sincerely, Not a snowball's chance on my own.
PS: Even the dog knows!
dear anyone who brews,
noone buys just 1 hydrometer.
sincerely,
the broken hydrometer thread.
noone buys just 1 hydrometer.
sincerely,
the broken hydrometer thread.
Dear Broken Hydro
I currently own about seven of different sorts.
sincerely,
Still worried i'll break my first one any day now...
I currently own about seven of different sorts.
sincerely,
Still worried i'll break my first one any day now...
Dear broken hydrometer
Five years and counting and still on my first hydrometer... But I only use a hydrometer for FGs. Everything pre-fermentation I use a refractometer for.
Sincerely
Much mo easier
Five years and counting and still on my first hydrometer... But I only use a hydrometer for FGs. Everything pre-fermentation I use a refractometer for.
Sincerely
Much mo easier
Baja_Brewer
Well-Known Member
Dear Mo,
At sub $30, its an investment in avoiding broken hydrometers that's well spent.
Sincerely,
Ditto
At sub $30, its an investment in avoiding broken hydrometers that's well spent.
Sincerely,
Ditto
Dear Much Mo & Ditto,
But you can't taste a refractometer sample...
Sincerely,
Yeah I Know I Could Just Pull A Separate Taster
But you can't taste a refractometer sample...
Sincerely,
Yeah I Know I Could Just Pull A Separate Taster
Dear Much Mo,
I made it about 4 years on my first, and still on my second. Because I also only use it for FG readings.
Sincerely,
Refractometer for the win.
I made it about 4 years on my first, and still on my second. Because I also only use it for FG readings.
Sincerely,
Refractometer for the win.
Dear ditto
I'm fortunate enough to live within 30 minutes of four LHBSs. If I break one, I'll buy another then. Also, as a general rule, my pre-fermentation gravities are taken when I've been drinking. My FGs are generally when I'm sober.
Sincerely
I'm drunk, what were we talking about again?
I'm fortunate enough to live within 30 minutes of four LHBSs. If I break one, I'll buy another then. Also, as a general rule, my pre-fermentation gravities are taken when I've been drinking. My FGs are generally when I'm sober.
Sincerely
I'm drunk, what were we talking about again?
Hamaki
Well-Known Member
Dear ESPN,
I haven't watched TV for years and apparently I'm behind the times, but really - WTF?!? What's next, Academic Decathlon? Speed Shaving? Full Contact Quilting?
Sincerely,
Maybe it's just dry humor?
I haven't watched TV for years and apparently I'm behind the times, but really - WTF?!? What's next, Academic Decathlon? Speed Shaving? Full Contact Quilting?
Sincerely,
Maybe it's just dry humor?
gratus fermentatio
Well-Known Member
Dear Humor:
People watch other people PLAYING CARDS, ON TV! People will watch ANYTHING on TV. People watched "Honey Boo Boo" for crying out loud. There's no telling what's next when it comes to crap on TV.
Sincerely, Haven't turned my TV on in months.
People watch other people PLAYING CARDS, ON TV! People will watch ANYTHING on TV. People watched "Honey Boo Boo" for crying out loud. There's no telling what's next when it comes to crap on TV.
Sincerely, Haven't turned my TV on in months.
azscoob
Brewpub coming soon!
Dear lawn,
Please slow your grow, having to mow every other day is wearing my mower out
Sincerely,
Why did I fertilize?
Please slow your grow, having to mow every other day is wearing my mower out
Sincerely,
Why did I fertilize?
Dear waterlogged
We'll take some of your rain here. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Dry here
We'll take some of your rain here. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Dry here
Dear crap I've collected through my life,
Why is it that you insist on multiplying in the final hours before I have to yet again turn in the keys prior to sleeping at my new place? Will you continue to do this once I'm finally able to buy a home? If so, be warned I will burn you to cinders as I leave my final apartment behind.
But that one armed Ben Kenobi figure meant SO MUCH to me when I was five... Why oh why has he fathered these endless boxes of CDs, DVDs, magazines and unused oil painting supplies since then?
Sincerely,
Tired of packing and hauling you around
PS: Dearest Landlord - why can't you accept 50% less so I can stay?!
Why is it that you insist on multiplying in the final hours before I have to yet again turn in the keys prior to sleeping at my new place? Will you continue to do this once I'm finally able to buy a home? If so, be warned I will burn you to cinders as I leave my final apartment behind.
But that one armed Ben Kenobi figure meant SO MUCH to me when I was five... Why oh why has he fathered these endless boxes of CDs, DVDs, magazines and unused oil painting supplies since then?
Sincerely,
Tired of packing and hauling you around
PS: Dearest Landlord - why can't you accept 50% less so I can stay?!
Dear Tired of Packing,
Much like weight loss, there are extreme and less extreme methods to do what you want. The "weight loss by Malaria" version is a tornado and the power of positive thinking version is to just put is all in a storage unit....and hope it get's hit by a tornado.
Personally, I just spent four years living out of a backpack and computer bag and sharing a 14' x 14' room with a different stranger each month or so...you stop being attached to stuff.
Sincerely,
Guy who purges stuff that just doesn't matter
Much like weight loss, there are extreme and less extreme methods to do what you want. The "weight loss by Malaria" version is a tornado and the power of positive thinking version is to just put is all in a storage unit....and hope it get's hit by a tornado.
Personally, I just spent four years living out of a backpack and computer bag and sharing a 14' x 14' room with a different stranger each month or so...you stop being attached to stuff.
Sincerely,
Guy who purges stuff that just doesn't matter
Dear tired of packing,
"Never own anything you have to paint or feed".
Sincerely,
Some old hobo.
"Never own anything you have to paint or feed".
Sincerely,
Some old hobo.
Dear Tired of Packing,
Pack everything up. Move. Only unpack stuff as you need it. Anything that is still packed in time for the next move gets tossed. Less stuff to move next time.
Otherwise, try watching a few episodes of Hoarders (is that show still airing?), always seems to encourage me to throw away two or so large contractors style trash bags worth of crap. Do this every few months and reap the rewards.
Sincerely,
I have a fix for most everything
Pack everything up. Move. Only unpack stuff as you need it. Anything that is still packed in time for the next move gets tossed. Less stuff to move next time.
Otherwise, try watching a few episodes of Hoarders (is that show still airing?), always seems to encourage me to throw away two or so large contractors style trash bags worth of crap. Do this every few months and reap the rewards.
Sincerely,
I have a fix for most everything
Dear tired of packing
I'm moving in the next couple of months, and I'm amazed at how much stuff ends up in my attic and basement over the years. I'm doing the math, and I think I'll need to rent a dumpster to get rid of it all, rather than overstuffing the garbage for the next two months.
And why did I think it was a good idea to hold onto all my undergrad textbooks instead of selling them when they were the latest edition. They're now worthless...
Sincerely,
I'm not a hoarder (or am I?)
I'm moving in the next couple of months, and I'm amazed at how much stuff ends up in my attic and basement over the years. I'm doing the math, and I think I'll need to rent a dumpster to get rid of it all, rather than overstuffing the garbage for the next two months.
And why did I think it was a good idea to hold onto all my undergrad textbooks instead of selling them when they were the latest edition. They're now worthless...
Sincerely,
I'm not a hoarder (or am I?)
Dear expert-level collector:
I am truly amazed at your persistence and dedication, and feel confident that someday you will realize I'm still here.
Stay golden Pony Boy...
Sincerely,
The Outsiders VHS tape you rented in '85
I am truly amazed at your persistence and dedication, and feel confident that someday you will realize I'm still here.
Stay golden Pony Boy...
Sincerely,
The Outsiders VHS tape you rented in '85
gratus fermentatio
Well-Known Member
Dear DrunkleJon:
Thank you so much for the box of awesome brews, I owe you.
Sincerly, gratus fermentatio.
Thank you so much for the box of awesome brews, I owe you.
Sincerly, gratus fermentatio.
Dear DrunkleJon:
Thank you so much for the box of awesome brews, I owe you.
Sincerly, gratus fermentatio.
Dear gratus fermentatio,
Enjoy them, thats all the payment I need. And post pictures to make everybody else jealous.
Sincerely,
DrunkleJon
Edit: I see you already did.
Dear fellow photographers:
Please stop undermining me with models. If I wanted to pay them, I would have ASKED what they charged.
Sincerely,
P!ssed Off Photographer
Please stop undermining me with models. If I wanted to pay them, I would have ASKED what they charged.
Sincerely,
P!ssed Off Photographer
Dear photographer,
Thanks for helping them launch their careers.
Sincerely,
Yeah, I went there.
Dear photographer,
Thanks for helping them launch their careers.
Sincerely,
Yeah, I went there.
LOL! No casting couch for me.
I'm not famous enough to get away with that.
Dear Yeah I Went There,
LOL! No casting couch for me.
Sincerely,
I'm not famous enough to get away with that.
Dear Newsman,
Please phrase your reply in the form of: "Dear X, Message. Sincerly, Y.
Thank you.
Sincerly,
Fixed That For You.
Dear Puppy Mill Breeder,
FU for pumping 11 litters out of my current rescue Saint Bernard. She never met a dog that was not was not humping her or her puppy and as a result does not understand basic pack behavior. She is sweet and loving and wants to play with other dogs but she does not know how. 7 years old and never played with another dog...FU.
Sincerely,
Guy that would put a 10mm slug in your head and not flinch...but would never treat an animal this way.
FU for pumping 11 litters out of my current rescue Saint Bernard. She never met a dog that was not was not humping her or her puppy and as a result does not understand basic pack behavior. She is sweet and loving and wants to play with other dogs but she does not know how. 7 years old and never played with another dog...FU.
Sincerely,
Guy that would put a 10mm slug in your head and not flinch...but would never treat an animal this way.
Beernik
Well-Known Member
Dear God,
I love this conference. But please never again present me with so much free food and drink that my stomach hits refusal.
I feel like a freshman who lost a competitive eating contest on dollar beer night.
Sincerely,
Where is the aspirin & antacid?
I love this conference. But please never again present me with so much free food and drink that my stomach hits refusal.
I feel like a freshman who lost a competitive eating contest on dollar beer night.
Sincerely,
Where is the aspirin & antacid?
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