The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[DrunkleJon]

Dear Headache from Friday,
Thank you for sticking around until SUndat at 5PM. I really enjoyed you so much that I am glad you stuck around for the entire weekend. You are like the guest that didnt get the hint. Your invitation has been revoked. As well as your beer privledges.
Sincerely,
Its not a tumah

 

[soccerdad]

Dear hangover - you selfish prick - all you care about is your own pleasure! You use me like a damn porn flick. Have you ever thought about what I want - what I need - what I desire??

From now on store me in the freezer. Skip the ice, fruit juice, cat dookie and pickles. Pour me ice cold in a small glass about 2 ounces at a time. Sip me.

Oh - and don't get my cheap cousins ... they are indeed made up trollops in dark bars. At minimum buy the Finish or Russian popular upgrades.

Come on sweetie, we can make beautiful music together, but don't rush me. Let's try again.

Sincerely, Vodka

 

[Melana]

Dear About to pay a sh!t load of money on a very good lawyer,
Just asked the all knowing Google. I take it non-disclosure of defects is the excuse they are using? From the look of the articles on this stuff people are way too litigous and the sites all say, you can sue the former owner, possibly the home inspector, might even be able to get money out of the real estate agent... I would suggest as a total non liar, I mean lawyer, that if you havent already, you get your real estate person in on the whole argument. Since there is the potential for them to be involved as well it would be in their best interest. I hope this all ends up being just a fishing expedition and they drop their argument.
Sincerely,
Best of luck

Dear Best of Luck,

I have now engaged my high end fancy litigator. May the Gods have mercy on their souls and my wallet. He always wins.

Sincerely,
No, I most certainly did not need anything else for my kitchen.

 

[Psylocide]

Dear peoples,

Every time you spell it "fermentor," this is all I see.








Sincerely,

Don't know why.

 

[TheCADJockey]

Dear Spell-Check,

Every time I spell fermenter correctly and you put a red line under it, I wish you were a person so I could cut you.

Sincerely,
Some Nerd

 

[SnakeRidge]

Dear Don't know why,

I think the same thing, but I still spell it Fermentor. Actually, more like FERMENTOR!

Sincerely,

Don't know why that makes me giggle.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Dear At least I don't have a hangover,
Seeing as you find so many faults with me, I'd like to introduce you to my Mexican cousin, Tequila. I'm sure after a few nights with her, you'll come running back to me.
Sincerely,
Vodka

Tequila es una puta y tiene gusanos.
Regards, GF.

 

[cjokrap]

Dear Mainstream Media,

Can we please stop calling rioters protesters? You're demeaning actual peaceful protests and lending legitimacy to violent criminals.

Sincerely,

Common Sense

 

[Pyg]

Dear Don't know why,

I want this on a T-Shirt

Sincerely,
not motivated enough to make it happen.

 

[drainbamage]

Dear Don't know why,

I don't know if it was intended, but I got a definite Homestar Runner vibe from that pic. I hope it was intentional.

Sincerely,
Trogdor the Burninator

 

[Pyg]

Dear Trogdor the Burninator,

Reminds me of Master Shake, brewing during a bender!

Sincecerly,
I watch waaaay too much Adult Swim!

 

[Psylocide]

Dear Don't know why,

I don't know if it was intended, but I got a definite Homestar Runner vibe from that pic. I hope it was intentional.

Sincerely,
Trogdor the Burninator

Dear Trogdor,

It was not.

And I had to google that.

Sincerely,

Feeling older.

 

[SnakeRidge]

Dear Trogdor,

It was not.

And I had to google that.

Sincerely,

Feeling older.

Dear Feeling older,

You didn't recognize it cause you're too young. I remember Homestar from my college days circa 2000.

Sincerely,

Feeling Olderer

 

[drainbamage]

Dear Young'uns,

Sorry, I forgot 10 years Internet time is like a century in RL.

Sincerely,
Get off my lawn

 

[Psylocide]

Dear Old Guys,

My internet usage in 2000 was an orgy of ICQ, Sub7 and Back Orifice.

And Unreal Tournament.

And Delta Force.

And Half Life.

I didn't start watching internet toons until Salad Fingers.

Sincerely,

Don't know what to put here.

 

[Beernik]

Dear Super Ego,

Reward yourself for that awesome interview for the job in Yakama. There are two Tank 7s in the beer fridge and you can harvest their yeast tonight.

Sincerely,
The Id

 

[Singletrack]

Dear The Id,

Yakima? With an "i" in the middle? You'll need to know this. ...and send hops. Congratulations!

Sincerely,

IDK why I do it

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Dear The Id,

Yakima? With an "i" in the middle? You'll need to know this. ...and send hops. Congratulations!

Sincerely,

IDK why I do it

Dear IDK,
Maybe the job was on the rez, so Yakama was correct?
Sincerely,
Could go either way

 

[slym2none]

Dear Black Island Brewer,

We should figure out how to make Old Janx Spirit!

Sincerely, Blasted off of my Pan-Galactic Gargler.

 

[Newsman]

Dear 5:00...
HURRY THE HELL UP!!!

Sincerely,
Tired of stupid questions!

 

[Beernik]

Dear The Id,

Yakima? With an "i" in the middle? You'll need to know this. ...and send hops. Congratulations!

Sincerely,

IDK why I do it

Dear IDK,

I'll try to remember. My phone doesn't autocorrect it for some reason.

Sincerely,

The Id

 

[Colorowdy]

Dear child,
I have never really cared for basketball. But there is no way Lebron is better than Jordan.
Sincerely you are sadly mistaken young man.

 

[max384]

Dear new wife,

Thank god the wedding is over, now lets do the honeymoon!

Sincerely,

Your new husband

 

[cannman]

Dear new husband,

The honeymoon sounds great. So does a lifetime membership.

Sincerely,
The Graveyard

(Congrats!)

 

[max384]

Dear new husband,

The honeymoon sounds great. So does a lifetime membership.

Sincerely,
The Graveyard

(Congrats!)

Dear The Graveyard

Thank you so much. What a generous gift to a stranger with common interests. Cheers!

Sincerely

Very grateful

 

[cannman]

Dear The Graveyard



Thank you so much. What a generous gift to a stranger with common interests. Cheers!



Sincerely



Very grateful

Dear very grateful,

Check your pm. You have work to do...

Sincerely,

You don't know what you're in for...

 

[max384]

Dear very grateful,

Check your pm. You have work to do...

Sincerely,

You don't know what you're in for...

Dear graveyard,

I think you mean boneyard! (Check your PMs)

Sincerely

How funny

P.S. How did I get the lifetime membership? Was I drunk when I was renewing my supporting membership? Lol

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Dear new wife,

Thank god the wedding is over, now lets do the honeymoon!

Sincerely,

Your new husband

Dear Max, is that you on your bike in your avatar?

I hope you enjoyed it when you were single, and get a good price for it now.

Sincerely, A married guy.

 

[max384]

Dear Max, is that you on your bike in your avatar?

I hope you enjoyed it when you were single, and get a good price for it now.

Sincerely, A married guy.

Dear married guy,

My wife and I had many arguments about my bike trips, but she realized that marrying me was a package deal that included my motorcycle and occasional bike trips. I left for a five day bike trip two weeks before our wedding. She wasn't happy about it, but it's what she signed up for. Maintaining a sense of self and doing what you love is important in a relationship in my opinion.

Sincerely

The guy who made it very clear early on how important bikes are in my life

 

[LAHammer]

Dear the guy,
Good luck with that.
Sincerely,
Well adjusted married guy