The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear @Brew_Dude41 ,
In case you missed the memo, the answer is, "It never ends".

Ever.

Sincerely
Parent

Dear parent,
Thanks for passing that on. Much like the proper use of the 'TPS Coversheet' I missed that memo.

Sincerely,
I need to expand production.

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear @Kent88 ,
Pink eye is worse than the digestive issues ten fold. The whole process of holding the kid down, prying open the eye to get the drop in, keeping them in place until they get a blink or 2 in so that the meds are in, and then on to the next kid (never just 1 of mine).

My skin is crawling now, and i have a terrible compulsion to rub my eyes...

Sincerely,
Going to wash my hands now... (and again in 10 minutes)

 

[balrog]

Dear Eye-med-administering-parents,

Stanley Kubrick has some ideas.

Sincerely,
Wisenheimer#674

 

[skunkape]

Dear Knucklehead in the Altima, sitting at the end of the on-ramp with your blinker on,

You are obviously mentally challenged. Are you sure you want to do this?

Sincerely,
Surprised by my vocal disrespect for your ancestry.

 

[Kent88]

Dear Mini-me,

I applaud your resistance to the pink eye virus you appear to have fought off. I wish you had not shared with anyone else. Your little sister appears to not be so resistant to this infection.

Sincerely,
Dad

----

Dear Mini-she,

This is going to be a pretty rough week for us, isn't it? I really wish you understood that you shouldn't touch your eyes and you need to wash your hands a bunch, but big brother didn't even understand that.

Yikes.

Sincerely,
Dad

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear Dad,
My eyes are now itchy as heck, and I just emptied my desk supply of hand sanitizer.

Thanks again.

Sincerely,
My hands are still raw from constant washing after last week's update.

 

[Kent88]

Dear RawHands,

I won't share the picture of mini-she I just sent to my wife.

Sincerely,

Edit: that's really ambiguous. I was referring to a picture of my daughter's face with a puffy red eye.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Dear Homebrew supply “store”:
Here’s an update. Two days after USPS reported the package delivered, three packets of yeast arrived. Some communication about when the other 7 will ship would be nice and professional of you.
Sincerely,
Unhappy customer wanting a brew day.

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Dear Homebrew supply “store”:
Here’s an update. Two days after USPS reported the package delivered, three packets of yeast arrived. Some communication about when the other 7 will ship would be nice and professional of you.
Sincerely,
Unhappy customer wanting a brew day.

Dear Unhappy Customer,

You ordered something?

Sincerely,
We don't care. We don't have to. We're the United States Postal Service.

 

[CKuhns]

Dear Lalvin.
You woulld think that the 2 packets of D47 I had found in the far corner in my fridge that were more than 2 years past their experation date would have had some life. Wishful thinking on my part I know.

You would also think I would have been smart enough to start them to see if they were in fact viable prior to pitching.

You would have thought I would have had additional yeast on hand.

SIncerely, Nervous Nelly on my way to the LHBS.

 

[Kee]

Dear guy in the Carhartt overalls,

You should be a character actor on the big screen, not sitting around in the doctor's waiting room. And if you begin a story with "My first snake bite was a copperhead", please stay on topic and tell us about your other snake bite(s). I've been wondering all morrning about your other snake encounters.

 

[Kent88]

Dear brew dude,

Mini-me shared with mini-she.

Guess who has two thumbs and is supposed to give eye drops to a (approximately) year-and-a-half year old 4 times a day?



Just following up,
This guy

Edit, it's not eye drops, it's a dang cream. I think I need to find some earplugs for the screams she is about to emit.

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear This Guy,
The cream is new to me. I would triple check all the documentation and make sure it is what was prescribed and some error was not made.

Best of luck,

Sincerely,
Running to Costco for more soap.

 

[Kent88]

(It's definitely an eye ointment cream)

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

(It's definitely an eye ointment cream)

Hi Guy,
Did you get a tutorial on how to administer that? I know the minis may not stay still, but apply it to the lower lid anyway. You have my sincere condolences. Soldier on…

Sincerely,
It can’t be worse than medicating a cat.

 

[balrog]

It can’t be worse than medicating a cat.

More noise
More tears
Longer limbs

Fewer claws

About the same amount of biting

 

[Mr. Vern]

Dear old-school brewbuddy who is not HBT savvy,

Yes we can have a brew day this weekend, come on by. And just because that keg of delicious IPA went missing 4 weeks after we tapped it does not mean "I owe you 5 gallons" of beer.

It's called the Janitorial tax. You gotta be quicker next time!


Sincerely,

Your stock-rotating pal

 

[balrog]

Dear Brother In Law
Whaddayamean, "what happened to" the beer you liked last time you were here and that I had a whole keg of, and where is it?

Ya Numnuts! That was freaking *MONTHS* ago!

Keg life is measured in far smaller units than months around here.

Eeejit.

Sincerely,
Buuurrrp

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Dear Brother In Law
Whaddayamean, "what happened to" the beer you liked last time you were here and that I had a whole keg of, and where is it?

Ya Numnuts! That was freaking *MONTHS* ago!

Keg life is measured in far smaller units than months around here.

Eeejit.

Sincerely,
Buuurrrp

So rude of you BIL!
Complaining about the free beer you have by asking what happed to the free beer you drank the last visit. Errrm, it was good and we drank it. That’s what happened.
Sincerely,
Home brewer wants to know where are your manners

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear 2024,
F off!

Bad enough that I was forced to spend all day helping MIL with a ton of poo at her place, then only to return home to the trio of sniffling off spring. I knew the 4th was due to come down with something tonight (it is the night before I return to work after a vacation or holiday) but what the hell?! Here it is 11:30 and he is awake and crying with gummed up gooey eyes!

Pink eye within the first 24 hours! That's it I quit! I am just going to give up now...

Sincerely,
Noooooooo!

 

[Kent88]

Dear Brew Dude,

I am sorry for what you are going through. I hope your kiddos get through this as smoothly as possible.

Sincerely,
A sympathetic dad.

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear 2024,
I wish to retract my previous request to you. It may have been a strong and over the top.

Since you have seen fit to have miraculously recalled super gummy nasty pink eye that child 4 presented last night aannndd somehow convinced child 3 to willingly take their antibiotic with almost 0 coaxing or fighting tonight, I will formally apologize for my outburst. I obviously judged you too quickly, and didn't give you much of an opportunity to correct course.

I am obviously still a bit jumpy after hearing of the adventures of @Kent88 at the close of 2023 and was not excited to have to a sympathy epidemic in his honor. Especially when everyone was due to go to school tomorrow. After 2 weeks home it is time for those children to return to academia and I feared a delay going to happen.

I am proud of your ability to make amends quickly, and hope that you can bring more pleasant surprises throughout the coming months.

Sincerely,
Can you make all of the political ads disappear before they start as well?

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear "Captain B." of the brewing rocket "Minedonttouch",
Please return all switches, knobs, and buttons to the proper "off" position when you are through playing "rocket" with the brewery panel. You know you get in trouble for playing with that and honestly, the ruckus of the pumps running dry when I powered up almost ended all future brew sessions planned when my heart stopped for a moment.

Do not worry, the breaker in the main box will be off going forward.

Sincerely,
The post-it note over the switch in the spa breaker stating "Check all engines are pwd dn b4 engaging main pwr". (Just in case you figure out how to open said spa panel) (which you will far too soon, because that is how you roll)

 

[seatazzz]

Dear warehouse crew at job, where I have to go in every other Sunday,

Please get your isht done in a timely manner today, so I can get MY isht done in a timely manner, so I can come home and enjoy the first real meal I've had in almost two weeks (steak and rice). Not messing up the trailer numbers would also be a bonus.

Sincerely,

First day back at work after a week of horrible covids

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Very Pretty Cream Lager about to boil,

I wish I could smell you.

Sincerely,

Stupid post-covids nose that does not work unless I get close enough to incinerate nose hairs

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Dear grains bagged up waiting to be milled and eventually become beer,

Brew day will happen, but not as soon as we’d like.

Sincerely,
Why do I need to be responsible and do the things before I can have a few hours to make some beer?

 

[Brew_Dude41]

Dear daughter,

Please, please, please, remember this : if one of your schoolmates ask you "does this look like pink eye" RUN THE OTHER WAY!!!
-wash your hands!
-douse the desks and all other surfaces in bleach.
-wash your hands again!
-have the teachers send said schoolmate to the nurse / home to get treatment.
-wash your hands in bleach.

DO NOT DO THE FOLLOWING:
-pretend that you are a medical professional and look her eye!
-do not put you hand near classmate x or near anything that they may have touched.
-do not touch your face / eyes after said contact.
-do not come into the bedroom at 230am to tell you mother and I that classmate x probably has pink eye and you are pretty sure that you now have it.

.....

Sincerely,
Stopping at pharmacy for the eye drops.

Ps stay the $&@# away from your brothers until this clears!

 

[balrog]

isn't this a recurring theme, and likely not limited to any one single malady?

asks the father of two

 

[Kent88]

Brew dude, I am sorry for what you are dealing with.

 

[Brew_Dude41]

This one really just made me laugh and was hoping to amuse more than vent. (Some may have picked up on my love of this particular childhood ailment)

We had a nice streak going with everyone being healthy for a while, but to have it come to a halt from her playing nurse was the kicker. How she told us @230 am was the icing on the cake. Completely avoidable but we seem to not learn.

Honestly thought to have them all just rub their hands in her eyes then rub their eyes so that we can get it all over with now vesus dragging it on for 2 weeks...

@balrog my understanding is that the initial infection generally starts from poor hygiene in the bathroom and that makes its way into the eyes via rubbing them. Once the infection is started it is like Brett in the brewery, every surface that comes in contact with it must be thoroughly sanitized or it can spread everywhere. Since children are less adept in such basic skill as washing their hands (especially after rubbing their ichy gummy eyes at their desk or on the playgroung) transmission from one infected individual to others is common.