The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

[balrog]

Yeah, my two went thru lottsa stuff in their youth, 30 years ago. Their sibling rivalry kept most infectious things separate.

 

[FloppyKnockers]

Dear north Texas water towers,
With summer upon us, please try to keep your cool. I've got lagers to chill.

Sincerely,
The floppiest of knockers.

 

[day_trippr]

We had a nice streak going with everyone being healthy for a while

When our boys were infants and then all the way to maybe 3rd or 4th grade, when the third week of school came around the entire household was pretty much guaranteed to be sick with something, and from that point we enjoyed our "viral vector germ of the month" memberships until late Spring finally arrived.

Since my youngest son decided to wait until he and his wife were almost 40 to have the first of my youngest two grandkids four years ago, my wife and I have been dodging bugs. But unfortunately the Spousal Unit is currently hacking up a lung from the latest bug she got from the 2 year old a week ago. She just can't resist snuggling even when the littles ones are all snotty - while I'm hugging the far walls

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Dear north Texas water towers,
With summer upon us, please try to keep your cool. I've got lagers to chill.

Sincerely,
The floppiest of knockers.

Dear Floppiest of Knockers,

If you have two pumps and a counterflow chiller, you can freeze gallon ziplocks of water (or just buy big bags of ice from the store) and recirculate ice water through the chiller one direction while recirculating wort through the chiller in the other. By doing so you can get to lager-pitching temps pretty quickly.

Plus, you save a lot of water this way.

Sincerely,
Guy who has to brew in SoCal summers where groundwater might not be below 80 degrees and we're in constant drought

 

[balrog]

Dear chiller-challenged,
This is a forum of scrappy DIY-ers, you should be leveraging subterranean thermal mass.
Sincerely
Chief WiseA$$

 

[FloppyKnockers]

Dear Floppiest of Knockers,

If you have two pumps and a counterflow chiller, you can freeze gallon ziplocks of water (or just buy big bags of ice from the store) and recirculate ice water through the chiller one direction while recirculating wort through the chiller in the other. By doing so you can get to lager-pitching temps pretty quickly.

Plus, you save a lot of water this way.

Sincerely,
Guy who has to brew in SoCal summers where groundwater might not be below 80 degrees and we're in constant drought

Dear betar.....delta,
I've got my summer chilling dialed. Chilling with cold ground water just spoils me.

Sincerely,
Lazy, and don't wanna break out the summer equipment.

 

[Agent]

Dear Mini-Me -

I am well aware of our agreement that if you are dressed and have your teeth brushed before 6am, you can have a cartoon before school.

And that 4am is before 6am.

But you still have to wait until 6am for your cartoon, so go back to sleep.

Sure, I'll wake you up - just sleep bud.

I hear you giggling in there. Put the comic down and go to sleep.

You never slept, did you?

Lord help us all today.

Sincerely,
Early Bird Gene Provider

 

[Erik the Anglophile]

My kids are early birds aswell when we work and get up early. Then during holidays it takes about 2 days and they start sleeping in and often wake up later than my wife and I.

 

[whoaru99]

...

 

[seatazzz]

Dear Gut of Mine,

Okay okay okay. So it IS my delicious yeasty beer that I've been brewing the past 7 years that has caused your 'issues'. Took the depleted pipeline, as well as the 30-pack of the only store-bought 'lite' beer that I can stomach to figure that out (I did NOT drink the whole thing, husband helped). I'll be glad to not go through so much TP going forward.

Sincerely,

TMI but my hemorrhoids are happy.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Dear Random Dude,
With the stupidly loud sound system and the poor judgment to stop long enough to get out of the truck with said sound system to take a leak in a public parking lot and leave your tunes so insanely loud that my house is vibrating. Yeah you. I’m surprised that my voice was so loud or that your hearing is so good that you heard me yell “Turn that down and go the eff home.” I know you heard me because you turned and looked. You are welcome to comeback to the lot and do whatever you cheap butt heads without civilized hobbies do, just be quiet about it.
Sincerely,
I don’t always act like that, but you got on my last freaking nerve. Boom!

 

[balrog]

Dear Random Dude,
With the stupidly loud sound system and the poor judgment to stop long enough to get out of the truck with said sound system to take a leak in a public parking lot and leave your tunes so insanely loud that my house is vibrating. Yeah you. I’m surprised that my voice was so loud or that your hearing is so good that you heard me yell “Turn that down and go the eff home.” I know you heard me because you turned and looked. You are welcome to comeback to the lot and do whatever you cheap butt heads without civilized hobbies do, just be quiet about it.
Sincerely,
I don’t always act like that, but you got on my last freaking nerve. Boom!

Sounds like a photo-op for the po po to me.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Sounds like a photo-op for the po po to me.

The po po put on a show for me a few hours later when a dozen or so driving age brats were gathering. They were smart enough to not play music particularly loudly, but the many car doors slamming shut caused me to pull myself out of my sofa to take a look. Well, it looked like party time was about to start any moment. I called the constable’s dispatcher, and looked out again on my way to bed just in time to see my tax dollars roll up with lights on and the little rats scatter and escape as a few more vehicles with back up arrived.

Generally they aren’t very quick to respond to noise complaints and generally I don’t deal with the issues myself 1, because with my short stature I may not be taken seriously (I don’t look very ominous ) 2 they may target my home for shenanigans and low crimes if I do.

Welcome summer there’s a music festival next weekend and I’m hoping for rain. Crumby weather won’t stop the music but it usually cuts down the attendance. Harrumph.

 

[balrog]

The po po put on a show for me a few hours later when a dozen or so driving age brats were gathering. They were smart enough to not play music particularly loudly, but the many car doors slamming shut caused me to pull myself out of my sofa to take a look. Well, it looked like party time was about to start any moment. I called the constable’s dispatcher, and looked out again on my way to bed just in time to see my tax dollars roll up with lights on and the little rats scatter and escape as a few more vehicles with back up arrived.

Generally they aren’t very quick to respond to noise complaints and generally I don’t deal with the issues myself 1, because with my short stature I may not be taken seriously (I don’t look very ominous ) 2 they may target my home for shenanigans and low crimes if I do.

Welcome summer there’s a music festival next weekend and I’m hoping for rain. Crumby weather won’t stop the music but it usually cuts down the attendance. Harrumph.

Dear Hooligans
Stay off my lawn.
Sincerely
And put a tent on that circus
(My grandpas fav saying)

 

[Agent]

Dear Okra -
You are prolific
But not terrific.
You are bland
Especially when canned.
I planted you with the hope
I could do more than mope.
Alas, you simply suck
And I frankly couldn't give a duck.

Sincerely - Jaded Gardener

 

[Rish]

@Agent , we love okra! Unfortunately, the d****d deer have decided this year that they like the leaves so I only got enough for one meal from 10 plants. I use Justin Wilson's recipe. Harvest pods when they are the length of your middle finger. Simmer in salted water for 10 minutes in sauce pan, drain, back in the pan, saute in olive oil with minced garlic, hot sauce and Worcestershire for another 10 minutes. No slime, delicious!

 

[Jayjay1976]

Yeah, crispy deep fried is the only way okra passes as food. Sorry.

 

[Kent88]

Dear @seatazzz
We still miss having you around so much. Hopefully your life is going well.

Sincerely,

 

[Erik the Anglophile]

@Agent , we love okra! Unfortunately, the d****d deer have decided this year that they like the leaves so I only got enough for one meal from 10 plants. I use Justin Wilson's recipe. Harvest pods when they are the length of your middle finger. Simmer in salted water for 10 minutes in sauce pan, drain, back in the pan, saute in olive oil with minced garlic, hot sauce and Worcestershire for another 10 minutes. No slime, delicious!

Fortunately, deer taste deliciuos aswell.
And deer stew, smoked deer steak and deer sausage is only a trigger pull away...

 

[Erik the Anglophile]

Speaking of wich, I and a mate of mine are gonna do some beaver hunting come October and the season start.
Mainly to help a friend of his cull the populace on his lands since they have been breeding like crazy and running amok this summer. But I want to try beaver, anyone have any good recipes?

 

[Agent]

*Must not make a beaver joke*

Despite loving wood, they are generally gamey and greasy. If you really want to try, I guess you can clear off the fur and see what you've got to work with. We usually trap them in the US, because it's easier to catch them at their home than hunt them out and about.



I'm so proud of myself.

 

[Erik the Anglophile]

Who doesn't love a good wood?
My interest was piqued aftee I googled around a bit and seeing some mixed emotions about beaver meat, a lot of folks saying it's inedible, surely because they've heard it from their mentors.
And others, including some guys I watch on youtube, deciding to actually try it and saying that basically beaver is meat and tastes just fine.

 

[balrog]

Had a buddy, lived in the woods, preferred to enjoy his beavers and dams blowed up real good.

 

[Snuffy]

Dear Beaver Eater,

I've eaten squirrels and rabbits as a kid. Mom used to make dumplings with em when we'd bring one home. If we cleaned it, she'd cook it. Same with fish. Usually anything with a vegetarian diet is ok if you season the heck out of it to mask the wild flavor and then cook it long enough. Beaver should be similar, I would guess. One try so you know, anyway.

Sincerely,
Varmint Curious

 

[balrog]

Dear Beaver Eater,
Watch out for beaver fever.
Sincerely,
Maybe I read too much online.

 

[Rish]

Who doesn't love a good wood?
My interest was piqued aftee I googled around a bit and seeing some mixed emotions about beaver meat, a lot of folks saying it's inedible, surely because they've heard it from their mentors.
And others, including some guys I watch on youtube, deciding to actually try it and saying that basically beaver is meat and tastes just fine.

I haven't tried it but after reading this, I would.

https://elevatedwild.com/elevatedwildblog/how-to-eat-a-beaver

 

[Snuffy]

I haven't tried it but after reading this, I would.

https://elevatedwild.com/elevatedwildblog/how-to-eat-a-beaver

"Similar to elk or bison, beaver meat has a deep, woodsy character without any off-flavors, and is lean but succulent."

This man is possibly a pun genius...

 

[Kent88]

 

[Snuffy]

Not sure about the screenplay but I'd definitely buy the t-shirt.

 

[Kent88]

Not sure about the screenplay but I'd definitely buy the t-shirt.

I'm told it's hilarious