Thanksgiving Fighting Words

[Rish]

1. Pumpkin pie is obligation pie; we eat it because we think we have to. People only ask for it because their moms used to make it. Sweet potato pie is the same thing, with a much-better-tasting vegetable. Only losers eat pumpkin pie. No offense. Losers.

2. A fried turkey is the mark of a gullible cook. All turkeys should be boned and stuffed. Turkeys should be roasted at temperatures no higher than 250. All who disagree must be put against the wall.

3. Champagne goes better with turkey than beer. Yeah, I said it.

Post your misguided responses below so they can be ridiculed.

Happy Thanksgiving.

1. Pecan pie (puh-cahn, not pee-can (that's what was under the bed at Granddaddy's so we didn't have to go to the outhouse in the middle of the night)) beats the heck out of pumpkin or sweet potato. No cinnamon, nutmeg, clove or other "holiday" spices.
2. Spatchcock that bird and roast it at 425°F until 155°F. Crispy skin and moist, tender meat!
3. Never tried Champagne with turkey but since you're wrong on everything else, I'll stick with beer.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

 

[FloppyKnockers]

19#er done on the rotisserie. It went well especially with the beer and pumpkin pie for dessert. I cut the wings off before cooking. They get fried and tossed for the 49ers game.

I call them BuffalOHMYGOD wings.

 

[Closet Fermenter]

1. Pecan pie (puh-cahn, not pee-can (that's what was under the bed

I never could get into saying puh-cahn, nor pee-can either. (I remember the can under grandpa’s bed!) Where I am from from, we married the two and said pee-cahn, (equal emphasis on both syllables).

 

[Clint Yeastwood]

I made one sweet potato pie and one pecan. If it weren't for tradition, I would have stuck with pecan.

Has anyone here tried adding cornstarch to pecan pie? I would like to make mine a little firmer.

 

[Clint Yeastwood]

5. (Is it 5?) If you are headed to a relative’s house with the intention of completing the challenge of an article titled “How to talk to your FILL IN THE BLANK uncle at Thanksgiving…”, turn around and drive home because you’re the *******.

My oldest friend's son married a vegan with various other quirks. He walks on eggs around them all the time. Leaves the room to take calls from normal people. He's a walking trigger for all their crazy neuroses. Everything he says or does is wrong. They're always happy to take his money, though, even though they earn more than he does.

He's spending Thanksgiving with the other son. Great guy. Respectful. Not narcissistic or fragile.

I don't even know what vegans ate today.

My family is highly dysfunctional, but it never occurred to any of us to fight on holidays.

My dad's freeloader brother-in-law once came to spend Christmas, knowing he had norovirus. I would have preferred arguments.

 

[Closet Fermenter]

My mother-in-law’s family liked to argue for sport after a holiday meal. Everything was fine and cordial while eating, but afterwards, you knew what was coming. It was never anything really serious or consequential, but one of them, (usually the peculiar uncle) would make a statement to push someone’s button. Then it was a back and forth, over and over; never loud or heated, no one gaining nor conceding ground. The whole point was just to be the one who got the last word. In other words, everyone just kept saying the same things over and over until everyone else got tired and would no longer respond. It was the most bizarre thing I ever saw. All but one of the uncles have passed on now, so we don’t have that to endure anymore. Now THAT’S something to be thankful for!

 

[Clint Yeastwood]

My sister and her sweater-wearing unhousetrained Maltese made Christmas hell for a bunch of us one year, but it doesn't count, because she makes life hell for other people nearly every day.

 

[FloppyKnockers]

Turkey, stuffing, and potatoes pairs extremely well with beer, sarcasm, and dissociation. I fuggin' love the holidays.

 

[Rish]

He walks on eggs around them all the time.

I hear that's a good way to piss off vegans!

 

[FloppyKnockers]

I hear that's a good way to piss off vegans!

I'm doing my part... I only eat vegetarian animals.

 

[Closet Fermenter]

I'm doing my part... I only eat vegetarian animals.

Saw a bumper sticker a couple weeks ago:
“Vegan”: Old Indian word meaning poor hunter!

 

[Velnerj]

1. Never liked pumpkin pie. Peacans pie is definitely the way to go.

2. Doesn't matter how the bird is prepared what matters is if it's fresh or not. Last year I picked out a live bird from a farm and cooked it the next day... I would never go back to store bought or frozen bird again.

3. Champagne is for people who don't know how to spend their money. Beer all the way!

 

[Agent]

I'd counter that stuffing is what everybody makes because they think it's expected, but nobody looks forward to.

And to top it off, it makes awful leftovers.

 

[day_trippr]

^That^ is just sad. Find a better cook
The Spousal Unit's stuffing this year was fabulously rich - everyone loved it and there wasn't much left over...

Cheers!

 

[Airborneguy]

Just picked up my annual half priced turkey. It’s becoming a tradition. Never do “friendsgiving” before the holiday.

Now to hunt down a cheap prime rib roast…

 

[Closet Fermenter]

^That^ is just sad. Find a better cook
The Spousal Unit's stuffing this year was fabulously rich - everyone loved it and there wasn't much left over...

Cheers!

Totally agree. My mom makes great stuffing. Even though we give mom a break, and do thanksgiving at my bro’s place, mom is still required to do the stuffing and gravy; nobody does it better. My brother, who cooked the turkey, even transported the drippings and giblets across the county to mom early yesterday morning so she could cook it all up fresh. It was delicious.

If you don’t like pumpkin pie, try a pumpkin rum cake. My wife did this since the pie option was already taken.

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Turkey is a terrible tasting holiday obligation protein. There is a reason it is not consumed year round by most people. If it tasted good they would eat it like chicken

Yep. Fight the power, as we did yesterday!

 

[BongoYodeler]

Yep. Fight the power, as we did yesterday!
View attachment 834714

Yes. We no longer have turkey as well. We had family over on Sunday - Tuesday and celebrated with my now traditional homemade lasagna. Yesterday on Thanksgiving day proper, just my wife and I and I grilled rib-eyes. Still had stuffing though, my favorite part of traditional Thanksgiving dinner.

 

[Clint Yeastwood]

Just picked up my annual half priced turkey. It’s becoming a tradition. Never do “friendsgiving” before the holiday.

Now to hunt down a cheap prime rib roast…

I want to start a thread for Christmas. I never cook turkey for Christmas dinner. Rib roast all the way. So much easier. Add a Caesar salad, some kind of potatoes, and cheesecake, and you're done.

Thanksgiving has to be turkey, though. Too tasty to pass up.

 

[Clint Yeastwood]

I'd counter that stuffing is what everybody makes because they think it's expected, but nobody looks forward to.

And to top it off, it makes awful leftovers.

I disagree and add that your father smelt of elderberries.

 

[Agent]

 

[OakIslandBrewery]

I know I'll get ridiculed for what I made; meat pie (pork, beef and potato) plus a batch of sweet and sour green beans. Sure, maybe not traditional by most of the turkey loves out there . . . but I really don't care, it was great!

 

[mac_1103]

Eat (and drink) what you like. Let other people eat (and drink) what they like.

 

[day_trippr]

Where's the fun in that?

 

[Clint Yeastwood]

Yeah, that sucks.

 

[mac_1103]

Where's the fun in that?

Every minute spent scolding a Philistine is a minute not spent being a Epicurean.

 

[passedpawn]

We do a smoked turkey, and one in the oven. Smoked > other.

I always make the bourbon pecan. Crust is made from pecans. I candy the ones on top with lots of orange zest to make it "florida style". That's a tart pan, so when I serve it the outside of the pan comes off and you can see the cool ridges all the way around.

In other news, @Clint Yeastwood is one ascerbic MFer and I like it.

 

[mac_1103]

We do a smoked turkey, and one in the oven. Smoked > other.

We stopped doing "other" several years ago.

 

[Clint Yeastwood]

In other news, @Clint Yeastwood is one ascerbic MFer and I like it.

Well, thanks. Maybe people who like me are in the minority, but at least I can say I get the best ones.

 

[BrewnWKopperKat]

Spoiler: Things I learned today (and can't unlearn). You have been warned