Structurally unsound

[CreamyGoodness]

*Warning, the following rant involves references to a 30 something balding mead-maker with a beer gut in his underwear. Reader's discretion is advised. Oh... and I'm taken, ladies*

Years ago, when I was living alone as a bachelor, I hated doing laundry. Hated it. So, on my way home from work, if I knew I had nothing clean in the underwear or hosiery department, I would pick up a pack at the GAP or the Sock Guy on St. Marks or whatever. When I moved in with my now-wife about 4 years ago I counted that I had accumulated no less than 60 pairs of boxer shorts and probably 40 pairs of black socks. White, ribbed, armless T-shirts were also plentiful. We got a little dresser with three drawers just for my underthings. Three drawers for my drawers.

And then some time went by, and I gained a couple pounds. I'm not Eric Cartman, but I got myself a little pasta pouch and got a couple inches on my previously tiny waist.

Folks... my underwear is exploding.

The older pairs have appeared to have gotten BRITTLE, and sudden movements will make them rip not at the seam but BETWEEN seams. I'm no engineer, but I don't think boxers are supposed to rip at the ass-cheek.

Others have made the near useless fly (I have always been a vehement up and over man) into a torture apparatus. Damn things pucker open like a gasping guppy and The Colonel is pushed within micrometers of the interlocking teeth of my zipper. Thats on a cold day. Any mention of Bjork or the ladies Japanese olympic curling team and I'm going to hurt myself.

"Wife-beater Ts?"... falling apart. The material seperates from the reinforced seams and then begins to further deteriorate from there. The wife cant stand this, and she knows I will try to salvage them, so when she passes by she grabs hold of the rip and pulls the entire thing off in two pieces. Not in a sexy way... more like a Hulkamania way.

This is a great capitalistic scam. I am being forced to buy more of this stuff even though I have already bought a plethora a few short years ago. Write your congressperson today, we are being stolen from as a nation.

*sigh* it will pass.

 

[JohnnyO]

Sock Guy. Awesome. I miss old St. Marks. He still there?

Hulkamania. I think he is still wrestling-involved. That's terrifying. He's going to die in the ring.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Yes he is still there.

Hulk is going to break a hip signing contracts if he keeps it up at this rate.

 

[headbanger]

Well at least we all know what to get you for christmas now.

 

[Airplanedoc]

What kind of quality do you expect from a 6 year old chineese girl working in a sweat shop?

 

[Wus67]

Don't look at it as you getting bigger, It's not your fault that these undergarments are failing, it's planned obsolescence on part of the clothing manufacturers, just designed to get you buy more.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

don't look at it as you getting bigger, it's not your fault that these undergarments are failing, it's planned obsolescence on part of the clothing manufacturers, just designed to get you buy more.

exactly

 

[cheezydemon3]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......Bjork......

 

[Golddiggie]

I've had some garments start to fail fast, and others that just last a long time. Same brand, same line, etc. QC just isn't what it used to be. That being said, if you were grabbing the lower priced items (come on, admit it, you went for the cheap ones) then you're going to get less wear out of them. It also matters how you wash them (oddly enough). I've always just tossed them into the machines as I could and didn't worry about it so much. Never really had much of an issue.

For the record, I've never encountered your issues with Hanes boxer-briefs or socks. I don't buy white t-shirts, so can't help you there. I will say that some of the t-shirts I have, have been in the drawers for many years and are good still. Sure, they might be a bit worn around the edges, but who cares if you're not going to that nice restaurant (or other places)?

 

[Kittyfeet]

Let's make the best out of a bad situation. Paint your body green, put on said ripping undergarments.
As wife is watching tv, stand in front of her, flex your butt cheeks and let those boxers rip where they will. She'll be so turned on at your manly ... muscles... that she'll tear off the rest of your clothes, but in a good way this time.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Let's make the best out of a bad situation. Paint your body green, put on said ripping undergarments.
As wife is watching tv, stand in front of her, flex your butt cheeks and let those boxers rip where they will. She'll be so turned on at your manly ... muscles... that she'll tear off the rest of your clothes, but in a good way this time.

Best idea I have heard all day!

 

[Golddiggie]

Best idea I have heard all day!

Just be sure the blinds are closed first... Last thing you want is for the neighbors to be calling you 'pinkie' or something just as bad (or worse).

 

[paulster2626]

This is why I only wear women's underwear.

 

[Golddiggie]

This is why I only wear women's underwear.

Ok, now that qualifies for TMI!!

 

[GunnyB]

You said "underthings"...heh heh...funny

Of course the things are going to dissolve over time, they are friction buffers between you and your outer garments. Besides, where do you think the stuff in the lint trap comes from...lint fairies? Duh

I got into wearing silk (nylon) PT shorts as underwear during my time in our beloved Corps. When they get dirty just wear em in the shower. Have been wearing the same pair for a decade

 

[Misplaced_Canuck]

Let's make the best out of a bad situation. Paint your body green, put on said ripping undergarments.
As wife is watching tv, stand in front of her, flex your butt cheeks and let those boxers rip where they will. She'll be so turned on at your manly ... muscles... that she'll tear off the rest of your clothes, but in a good way this time.

Not only will he have to buy new underwear, he'll have to buy new bed sheets and new bath towels. Unless, of course, you literally roll in the hay.

MC

 

[Kittyfeet]

Not only will he have to buy new underwear, he'll have to buy new bed sheets and new bath towels. Unless, of course, you literally roll in the hay.

MC

Nothing wrong with using some hay. Or just take it right to the shower and let some sud action wash it all away.

 

[Zuljin]

Sounds like your draws are getting broke in nicely, CG.

And sounds like Goldie saves his good t-shirts for them fancy rest'raunts.

 

[Golddiggie]

Sounds like your draws are getting broke in nicely, CG.

And sounds like Goldie saves his good t-shirts for them fancy rest'raunts.

Darn tootin...

 

[Bedlam]

It isn't your fault, Creamy! You aren't gaining weight. It's the dryer shrinking them. Obviously the thing is either on the fritz or out to get you. Our appliances are getting smarter every year and some day will take over.

 

[JohnnyO]

Yes he is still there.

Hulk is going to break a hip signing contracts if he keeps it up at this rate.

I wish live concert tape guy was still there. Oh, and the soul and grime that was once there too.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I wish the automat from the early 2000s was still on St. Marks. I think it only lasted 2 years.

Now that I have no need for smoking apparati, I really have no need to go on St. Marks anymore...

 

[JohnnyO]

I wish the automat from the early 2000s was still on St. Marks. I think it only lasted 2 years.

Now that I have no need for smoking apparati, I really have no need to go on St. Marks anymore...

I think I miss Coney Island High the most.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Before my time? I am not familiar (and Ive only had half a cup of coffee...)

 

[JohnnyO]

Before my time? I am not familiar (and Ive only had half a cup of coffee...)

Awesome punk/hardcore venue from the early-mid 90s. It was on the north side of the street near where that old community center was (is?).

 

[CreamyGoodness]

If Im not mistaken, that community center is a theator now (the small artsy type).

 

[JohnnyO]

If Im not mistaken, that community center is a theator now (the small artsy type).

Of course it is.

I think part of the reason why I don't go to NYC anymore is because I want to remember it the way it was. Very sad.