One other thing to consider:
I specifically tried an experiment. I noticed many who were brewing the same recipe as I was were bailing on the oak/bourbon after 1-3 weeks. This seemed strange to me given that most commercial breweries age big stouts etc for usually a minimum of 3 months and up to 2 years. They don't have issues with too much oak or too much bourbon (as a general rule).
I decided I was not going to panic if the oak got pungent early on...I was committed to at least 3 months. I did indeed notice that early on there was a point where it seemed like the oak was going to get overpowering. I let it ride and that aspect mellowed out. The bourbon seemed to do the same, but not as noticeably as the oak.
I guess my point is that the beer will continue to change over time. I think the oak comes across pretty strong early on and, over time, begins to marry with the beer resulting in a more blended flavor profile that is quite pleasing.
My next beer I plan to calculate the surface area of the inside of a barrel (to reasonably approximation) and try to replicate that with the amount of oak I add.