Rhetorical Disfluencies that I Hate

[jmf143]

Avoid Alliteration. Always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
Employ the vernacular.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Contractions aren’t necessary.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
Profanity sucks.
Be more or less specific.
Understatement is always best.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
One word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be avoided.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?

 

[-TH-]

and incomplete sentences

 

[rycov]

That's funny as ****!

 

[KayaBrew]

There's a sh*tbird who live a mile or so down the road who sells campfire wood.

He has a sign by the road that says "Camp wood $5 for a armful".

 

[Tiber_Brew]

There's a sh*tbird who live a mile or so down the road who sells campfire wood.

He has a sign by the road that says "Camp wood $5 for a armful".

That's an good example.

 

[GuldTuborg]

It likewise bothers me when Americans use the article "an" in front of words that clearly begin with consonant sounds. E.g., "to take an historical approach...". Really, did you become British for a moment there?

 

[JonM]

....
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?

Should we avoid question talking? Yes.

 

[HokieBrewer]

Thought of another one.

I have a bug bite. It itches. I don't itch it. I scratch it.

 

[Special Hops]

It likewise bothers me when Americans use the article "an" in front of words that clearly begin with consonant sounds. E.g., "to take an historical approach...". Really, did you become British for a moment there?

That bugs the snot out of me.

An historic moment....

 

[Special Hops]

Irregardless

 

[ChshreCat]

Someone the other day said to put something in the microwave for 3 minutes to unthaw it. My first thought was... It's already unthawed... I want it unFROZE.

 

[KayaBrew]

It likewise bothers me when Americans use the article "an" in front of words that clearly begin with consonant sounds. E.g., "to take an historical approach...". Really, did you become British for a moment there?

I'm with you on that one!

 

[millsware]

Two more:

"He's an intricate part of the offense." (Instead of integral. Said by a radio host.)
Perspective instead of prospective.

 

[JonM]

Improper use of reflexive pronouns like "If you have any questions, call myself."

 

[Dwain]

It likewise bothers me when Americans use the article "an" in front of words that clearly begin with consonant sounds. E.g., "to take an historical approach...". Really, did you become British for a moment there?

Actually, that was the proper form for "American" English up until a few years ago. Anytime a or an preceded a word that stated with an "h" and it was immediately followed by a vowel, you used an. If you look at some older dictionaries, it gives examples like:
an hippotamus, an historic event...

 

[trigger]

Conversate, conversating, and conversated

I first heard these in the Marine Corps, but unfortunately they appear to have spread.

I wanted to shove pencils into my ears when a member of my senior capstone class used conversating in a presentation. Where did these words even come from? Are our schools really so bad that we can't teach proper conjugation anymore?

 

[cheezydemon3]

"Irregardles" is still the worst thing a person can say. To utter this word confirms your addition to the "Dip sh!T of the YEAR" nomination pool.

 

[bottlebomber]

"Irregardles" is still the worst thing a person can say. To utter this word confirms your addition to the "Dip sh!T of the YEAR" nomination pool.

Arg my boss says that all the time, and he fits into that category. My personal favorites are eXscaped and nuc-ya-ler (nuclear). I think we have maybe had a president the said that.

 

[DeafSmith]

"With baited breath" instead of "bated" (from abated)

(unless you've been eating minnows)

 

[cheezydemon3]

"Weary" instead of Wary.

Weary = TIRED

Wary = Skeptical or Suspicious of

 

[olllllo]

Were-y = Approaching lycanthrope state

"Weary" instead of Wary.

Weary = TIRED

Wary = Skeptical or Suspicious of

 

[bottlebomber]

Not a rhetorical disfluency, but none the less:

Onion = UNG-YUN

Makes my skin crawl

 

[bob1852]

fustrating instead frustrating frustrates me.

 

[Dwain]

Do you want UNG-YUN on your AIGS?

 

[cheezydemon3]

Were-y = Approaching lycanthrope state

I was wary of being wery, but now that I am wery, I am so weary of being wery.

*As ollo pointed out, "wery" is the state of becoming "werewolfish, or "Lycan"-ish*

 

[-TH-]

"wery" also means "very" in elmer fudd language.

 

[InLimbo]

I don't see what all the hubbub is about. I enjoying linguistic discrepancies. From a linguist's standpoint, there is no such thing as "bad grammar." That's like saying there is "bad color" in the world. This is what we in linguistics call "prescriptivism." This simply doesn't work because prescriptivism states that there are rules (i.e. grammar) in language which need to be followed. Language is alive, fluid, and constantly changing. See the semantic shift that has taken place with the word "gay" from oh 60 years ago until now. Language will never prescribe to rules placed upon it. The English may say we talk funny, but at least we're not Scottish!

 

[cheezydemon3]

There is a difference in the word "Gay" being used evolvingly, and the word "irregardless" being used to mean it's polar opposite.

One is evolution of a word, the other is rampant igorance of a word, with the intention of sounding smarter or more emphatic, irregardless of the irrewrongness of the damned word.

 

[JonM]

Yeah, people who say "supposably" aren't pioneers in the evolution of language - they're dopes.

 

[rycov]

There is a difference in the word "Gay" being used evolvingly, and the word "irregardless" being used to mean it's polar opposite.

i'm willing to bet that there are plenty of people who don't know that gay means anything other than homosexual (especially in my generation).