Pittsburgh

[McMatt7]

Np man lemme know what u think

Well done sir, very well done, now i need to memorize it.

 

[ur boy catlicks]

i got thru 2 posts worth on my phone, scrolled down to see there were like 7 more, stopped reading, killed myself, researched how to transcend back into the realm of mortality, transcended back into the realm of mortality, came here to post about it, then visited a metal brewery and drank american wild ales

 

[OneDropSoup]

"But there are rules," the snake continued. "The first request is free. The

second requires an agreement of secrecy. The third requires the binding of

responsibility." The snake looks at the man seriously.


"By the way," the snake says suddenly, "my name is Nathan. Old Nathan,

Samuel used to call me. He gave me the name. Before that, most of the Bound

used to just call me 'Snake'. But that got old, and Samuel wouldn't stand

for it. He said that anything that could talk needed a name. He was big into

names. You can call me Nate, if you wish." Again, the snake grinned. "Sorry

if I don't offer to shake, but I think you can understand - my shake sounds

somewhat threatening." The snake give his rattle a little shake.


"Umm, my name is Jack," said the man, trying to absorb all of this. "Jack

Samson.


"Can I ask you a question?" Jack says suddenly. "What happened to the

poison...umm, in your bite. Why aren't I dying now? How did you do that?

What do you mean by that's how you work?"


"That's more than one question," grins Nate. "But I'll still try to answer

all of them. First, yes, you can ask me a question." The snake's grin gets

wider. "Second, the poison is in you. It changed you. You now no longer need

to drink. That's what you asked for. Or, well, technically, you asked to not

be thirsty any more - but 'any more' is such a vague term. I decided to make

it permanent - now, as long as you live, you shouldn't need to drink much at

all. Your body will conserve water very efficiently. You should be able to

get enough just from the food you eat - much like a creature of the desert.

You've been changed.


"For the third question," Nate continues, "you are still dying. Besides the

effects of that methanol in your system, you're a man - and men are mortal.

In your current state, I give you no more than about another 50 years.

Assuming you get out of this desert, alive, that is." Nate seemed vastly

amused at his own humor, and continued his wide grin.


"As for the fourth question," Nate said, looking more serious as far as Jack

could tell, as Jack was just now working on his ability to read

talking-snake emotions from snake facial features, "first you have to agree

to make a second request and become bound by the secrecy, or I can't tell

you."


"Wait," joked Jack, "isn't this where you say you could tell me, but you'd

have to kill me?"


"I thought that was implied." Nate continued to look serious.


"Ummm...yeah." Jack leaned back a little as he remembered again that he was

talking to a fifteen foot poisonous reptile with a reputation for having a

nasty temper. "So, what is this 'Bound by Secrecy' stuff, and can you really

stop the effects of the methanol?" Jack thought for a second. "And, what do

you mean methanol, anyway? I thought these days they use ethanol in wiper

fluid, and just denature it?"


"They may, I don't really know," said Nate. "I haven't gotten out in a

while. Maybe they do. All I know is that I smell methanol on your breath and

on that bottle in your pocket. And the blue color of the liquid when you

pulled it out to drink some let me guess that it was wiper fluid. I assume

that they still color wiper fluid blue?"


"Yeah, they do," said Jack.


"I figured," replied Nate. "As for being bound by secrecy - with the

fulfillment of your next request, you will be bound to say nothing about me,

this place, or any of the information I will tell you after that, when you

decide to go back out to your kind. You won't be allowed to talk about me,

write about me, use sign language, charades, or even act in a way that will

lead someone to guess correctly about me. You'll be bound to secrecy. Of

course, I'll also ask you to promise not to give me away, and as I'm

guessing that you're a man of your word, you'll never test the binding

anyway, so you won't notice." Nate said the last part with utter confidence.


Jack, who had always prided himself on being a man of his word, felt a

little nervous at this. "Ummm, hey, Nate, who are you? How did you know

that? Are you, umm, omniscient, or something?"


Well, Jack," said Nate sadly, "I can't tell you that, unless you make the

second request." Nate looked away for a minute, then looked back.


"Umm, well, ok," said Jack, "what is this about a second request? What can I

ask for? Are you allowed to tell me that?"


"Sure!" said Nate, brightening. "You're allowed to ask for changes. Changes

to yourself. They're like wishes, but they can only affect you. Oh, and

before you ask, I can't give you immortality. Or omniscience. Or

omnipresence, for that matter. Though I might be able to make you gaseous

and yet remain alive, and then you could spread through the atmosphere and

sort of be omnipresent. But what good would that be - you still wouldn't be

omniscient and thus still could only focus on one thing at a time. Not very

useful, at least in my opinion." Nate stopped when he realized that Jack was

staring at him.


"Well, anyway," continued Nate, "I'd probably suggest giving you permanent

good health. It would negate the methanol now in your system, you'd be

immune to most poisons and diseases, and you'd tend to live a very long

time, barring accident, of course. And you'll even have a tendency to

recover from accidents well. It always seemed like a good choice for a

request to me."


"Cure the methanol poisoning, huh?" said Jack. "And keep me healthy for a

long time? Hmmm. It doesn't sound bad at that. And it has to be a request

about a change to me? I can't ask to be rich, right? Because that's not

really a change to me?"


"Right," nodded Nate.


"Could I ask to be a genius and permanently healthy?" Jack asked, hopefully.


"That takes two requests, Jack."


"Yeah, I figured so," said Jack. "But I could ask to be a genius? I could

become the smartest scientist in the world? Or the best athlete?"


"Well, I could make you very smart," admitted Nate, "but that wouldn't

necessarily make you the best scientist in the world. Or, I could make you

very athletic, but it wouldn't necessarily make you the best athlete either.

You've heard the saying that 99% of genius is hard work? Well, there's some

truth to that. I can give you the talent, but I can't make you work hard. It

all depends on what you decide to do with it."


"Hmmm," said Jack. "Ok, I think I understand. And I get a third request,

after this one?"


"Maybe," said Nate, "it depends on what you decide then. There are more

rules for the third request that I can only tell you about after the second

request. You know how it goes." Nate looked like he'd shrug, if he had

shoulders.


"Ok, well, since I'd rather not be blind in a day or two, and permanent

health doesn't sound bad, then consider that my second request. Officially.

Do I need to sign in blood or something?"


"No," said Nate. "Just hold out your hand. Or heel." Nate grinned. "Or

whatever part you want me to bite. I have to bite you again. Like I said,

that's how it works - the poison, you know," Nate said apologetically.


Jack winced a little and felt his shoulder, where the last bite was. Hey, it

didn't hurt any more. Just like Nate had said. That made Jack feel better

about the biting business. But still, standing still while a fifteen foot

snake sunk its fangs into you. Jack stood up. Ignoring how good it felt to

be able to stand again, and the hunger starting to gnaw at his stomach, Jack

tried to decide where he wanted to get bitten. Despite knowing that it

wouldn't hurt for long, Jack knew that this wasn't going to be easy.


"Hey, Jack," Nate suddenly said, looking past Jack towards the dunes behind

him, "is that someone else coming up over there?"


Jack spun around and looked. Who else could be out here in the middle of

nowhere? And did they bring food?


Wait a minute, there was nobody over there. What was Nate...


Jack let out a bellow as he felt two fangs sink into his rear end, through

his jeans...


Jack sat down carefully, favoring his more tender buttock. "I would have

decided, eventually, Nate. I was just thinking about it. You didn't have to

hoodwink me like that."


"I've been doing this a long time, Jack," said Nate, confidently. "You

humans have a hard time sitting still and letting a snake bite you -

especially one my size. And besides, admit it - it's only been a couple of

minutes and it already doesn't hurt any more, does it? That's because of the

health benefit with this one. I told you that you'd heal quickly now."


"Yeah, well, still," said Jack, "it's the principle of the thing. And nobody

likes being bitten in the butt! Couldn't you have gotten my calf or

something instead?"


"More meat in the typical human butt," replied Nate. "And less chance you

accidentally kick me or move at the last second."


"Yeah, right. So, tell me all of these wonderful secrets that I now qualify

to hear," answered Jack.


"Ok," said Nate. "Do you want to ask questions first, or do you want me to

just start talking?"


"Just talk," said Jack. "I'll sit here and try to not think about food."


"We could go try to rustle up some food for you first, if you like,"

answered Nate.


"Hey! You didn't tell me you had food around here, Nate!" Jack jumped up.

"What do we have? Am I in walking distance to town? Or can you magically

whip up food along with your other powers?" Jack was almost shouting with

excitement. His stomach had been growling for hours.


"I was thinking more like I could flush something out of its hole and bite

it for you, and you could skin it and eat it. Assuming you have a knife,

that is," replied Nate, with the grin that Jack was starting to get used to.

FTFY

 

[kbuzz1]

i got thru 2 posts worth on my phone, scrolled down to see there were like 7 more, stopped reading, killed myself, researched how to transcend back into the realm of mortality, transcended back into the realm of mortality, came here to post about it, then visited a metal brewery and drank american wild ales

TRVE?

 

[Matthouse3]

i got thru 2 posts worth on my phone, scrolled down to see there were like 7 more, stopped reading, killed myself, researched how to transcend back into the realm of mortality, transcended back into the realm of mortality, came here to post about it, then visited a metal brewery and drank american wild ales

Whichever brewery you visited, Jester King is better.

 

[preluderl]

Whole Punch : Fruit Punch cans at Hitchhiker Saturday at noon. Yasssss

 

[TommyShitt]

Whole Punch : Fruit Punch cans at Hitchhiker Saturday at noon. Yasssss

Yea but will they make it to Homestead?

 

[preluderl]

Yea but will they make it to Homestead?

 

[Matthouse3]

Yea but will they make it to Homestead?

HOW DARE YOU ASK SUCH A THING

 

[preluderl]

HOW DARE YOU ASK SUCH A THING

I heard you can't park an F-150 on Carson Street. Can you confirm?

 

[TommyShitt]

I heard you can't park an F-150 on Carson Street. Can you confirm?

TRICK QUESTION NO ONE CAN PARK ANYTHING ON CARSON BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS ******* FULL

 

[nhindian1]

i got thru 2 posts worth on my phone, scrolled down to see there were like 7 more, stopped reading, killed myself, researched how to transcend back into the realm of mortality, transcended back into the realm of mortality, came here to post about it, then visited a metal brewery and drank american wild ales

Back to work

 

[nhindian1]

Well done sir, very well done, now i need to memorize it.

thx

 

[Matthouse3]

I heard you can't park an F-150 on Carson Street. Can you confirm?

 

[preluderl]

It really grinds my gears when I see people totally unnecessarily backing into parking spaces.

This morning I watched some jag take five attempts at successfully backing his Audi TT into a spot in the General Robinson garage and it made me wanna throw him in the river.

 

[clwatt3]

It really grinds my gears when I see people totally unnecessarily backing into parking spaces.

This morning I watched some jag take five attempts at successfully backing his Audi TT into a spot in the General Robinson garage and it made me wanna throw him in the river.

All those $$$ and it doesnt have a back-up camera?

 

[preluderl]

All those $$$ and it doesnt have a back-up camera?

Yeah, you'd think. It's also an entirely pointless exercise to back in a car that small in a garage like that which isn't crowded or difficult to maneuver in.

 

[mikecharley]

Anybody making it out to helltown this Saturday for their BA imperial brown release?

 

[epicureIO]

I'm planning a trip to HF over Christmas. Does anyone recommend any places to stop on the way there? It looks like a 10
Hour drive if you take 90 and then hopping over to 89.

Has anyone done that drive before? Any hotel and dining recs would be dope.

 

[preluderl]

I'm planning a trip to HF over Christmas. Does anyone recommend any places to stop on the way there? It looks like a 10
Hour drive if you take 90 and then hopping over to 89.

Has anyone done that drive before? Any hotel and dining recs would be dope.

10 hours is extremely optimistic.

 

[Kraftster]

I'm planning a trip to HF over Christmas. Does anyone recommend any places to stop on the way there? It looks like a 10
Hour drive if you take 90 and then hopping over to 89.

Has anyone done that drive before? Any hotel and dining recs would be dope.

There are better folks to provide a full rundown, but I want to note when mapping for FOFA this year I discovered that a stop at Suarez on the way/way back adds less than 1 hour. Hard for me to imagine doing the trip again without making that a part of it. I believe Sloop and Plan Bee are both fairly close to Suarez as well.

 

[preluderl]

hunterpgh We did it at the end of September and it took us about 11 hours to get to Waterbury. HF is about another hour further. This was including normal stops... Gas and lunch, but no major delays. I would give yourself 12 to get to HF if you drove straight there, especially when you factor in that the weather may be bad up there.

We always stay in Waterbury when we go. If you don't have anywhere to stay yet, I'm sure someone will recommend the Stagecoach, although we've never stayed there. We'd probably need a little more info on your rough itinerary for solid recs though, and there are plenty of folks ITT (uvm2003) who have gone a lot more than I have.

 

[clwatt3]

10 hours is extremely optimistic.

This. I-90 in December:

 

[epicureIO]

This. I-90 in December:

I grew up near Erie and lake effect snow so this doesn't exactly scare me, not that I wouldn't be careful. Less people on the road, typically. I'm sure it will be slow going.

 

[epicureIO]

hunterpgh We did it at the end of September and it took us about 11 hours to get to Waterbury. HF is about another hour further. This was including normal stops... Gas and lunch, but no major delays. I would give yourself 12 to get to HF if you drove straight there, especially when you factor in that the weather may be bad up there.

We always stay in Waterbury when we go. If you don't have anywhere to stay yet, I'm sure someone will recommend the Stagecoach, although we've never stayed there. We'd probably need a little more info on your rough itinerary for solid recs though, and there are plenty of folks ITT (uvm2003) who have gone a lot more than I have.

Awesome thanks! I'll check this stuff out

 

[preluderl]

Awesome thanks! I'll check this stuff out

If you stay in Waterbury, common suggestions will be Prohibition Pig, Blackback Pub and Hen of the Wood. Alchemist is nearby, as is Von Trappe.

Whatever you do, don't try to Uber in Waterbury during the week... Trust me. If you have time to go to Burlington, Foam should be on the docket for sure.

 

[uvm2003]

Hunter - I’ll PM later tonight with driving thoughts. I’ve done it a lot, especially recently.

Interestingly I’m set to go at the same time and hit up Stowe to ski and then HF.

 

[chefduff2]

I grew up near Erie and lake effect snow so this doesn't exactly scare me, not that I wouldn't be careful. Less people on the road, typically. I'm sure it will be slow going.

If you want an adventure take Rt 8 through the Adirondacks.

Edit: I see that the shortest route goes on rt. 8. That road is ok, but has little of any services for long periods and I’ve never tried it in snow. It’s the most direct, but snow or trucks could slow you down significantly.
.

 

[dtx00]

and hit up Stowe to ski and then HF.

Jealous

 

[ur boy catlicks]

Whichever brewery you visited, Jester King is better.

a) that's not possible bc jester king isn't metal so it can't be any good
b) i don't go to breweries that aren't metal so i'd never know
c) i've actually been to JK and it was dope but that's before i got into metal breweries so i can't consider that piece of data