Permission

[mrk305]

I just noticed, DeathBrewer, 14,178 posts? I got no problems. My beer is good. I was just looking for advice on sparge times. Is mashing for one hour plus sparging for one hour too much?

 

[Yooper]

I just noticed, DeathBrewer, 14,178 posts? I got no problems. My beer is good. I was just looking for advice on sparge times. Is mashing for one hour plus sparging for one hour too much?

You can sparge however long you want; but anything over about 5-10 minutes is just wasting your time if you're batch sparging. Pour it in, stir well, vorlauf and drain. Then repeat. It takes about 5 minutes each time. It's only important to go slow when you're fly sparging (continuous sparging).

 

[mrk305]

Thanks YooperBrew. Like I said earlier, I learned how to brew really good allgrain beer about 16 months ago on HBT, and then quit reading HBT about a year ago because of divorce and loss of computer, etc.

I always appreciate your advice.

 

[Yooper]

It's nice to see you back here!

Maybe I'm just older, but I'm pretty laid back about most things in life. Not just brewing, but all things. I find that there aren't many things that get me too worked up any more- from "permission" to buy something to problems at work. It's just not that important to me. I brew decent beer, and would like to improve that, though. So now I'm trying to learn about water chemistry. I should have paid more attention in college!

 

[Six_O_Turbo]

lol, this is why I will never be married. Outside from certain things at werk, I won't ask permission from anyone to do a ******* thing.

I will never have a joint bank account with anyone. I would need a prenuptial agreement before ever getting into a relationship where children or property were involved...besides the fact that I don't believe in marriage to begin with.

I'm close to that with my SWMBO. We have separate checking accounts, she pays a percentage of the bills and so do I. She spends the extra money she makes and so do I. I make more money, so I take on the bigger bills like the mortgage. We don't talk much about purchases because we know what we (individually) can afford. The only purchases we talk about involve money we both have earned (i.e. tax refund) or something specifically for the family. However, its my opinion that if we both lost our jobs, it would be soley up to me to provide for my family.

It works for us.

I do have to sympathize with the OP. I hate seeing friends have to ask to do things they want. No offense to the ladies, but I think part of the reason the country elects some of the pantywaists we have is because..... OUCH!!!! Nevermind.....

(psst.... men are very simple creatures.... its all about the sex.... mostly...)

 

[mrk305]

It's nice to see you back here!

Maybe I'm just older.....

Not older than me. I remember the pics from about a year ago. You are pretty much jailbait!

 

[DeathBrewer]

I'm close to that with my SWMBO. We have separate checking accounts, she pays a percentage of the bills and so do I. She spends the extra money she makes and so do I. I make more money, so I take on the bigger bills like the mortgage. We don't talk much about purchases because we know what we (individually) can afford. The only purchases we talk about involve money we both have earned (i.e. tax refund) or something specifically for the family. However, its my opinion that if we both lost our jobs, it would be soley up to me to provide for my family.

It works for us.

I do have to sympathize with the OP. I hate seeing friends have to ask to do things they want. No offense to the ladies, but I think part of the reason the country elects some of the pantywaists we have is because..... OUCH!!!! Nevermind.....

(psst.... men are very simple creatures.... its all about the sex.... mostly...)

I would also provide for my "family" if they "lost" their jobs, but it sounds you are both responsible individuals. I'm only against the irresponsible ones

...mostly...

 

[SmugMug]

I have a better question for everyone here:

What does "permission" mean to you? Also, make sure to tell us if you're single, married or in a relationship.

I'm married and permission to me means coming to a mutual agreement after we've weighed the investment and return of the action/item. If there is a high likelihood that the action/item doesn't have a good outlook on our return of investment, it's likely to be a no-go.

 

[Evan!]

I have a better question for everyone here:

What does "permission" mean to you? Also, make sure to tell us if you're single, married or in a relationship.

I'm married, we've been married for almost 3 years, together for 11. We still have separate checking accounts and credit cards. She trusts me to handle my bidness. I trust her to handle hers. We're still "one unit" when it comes to overall finances, but neither of us micromanage the other's relatively minor purchases. All of this because we're both responsible. She knows I'd never run out and drop 5 grand on a brutus 10 unless I had a ton of money, and I know she'd never do something similar. There's no such thing as "permission"; there's simply a discussion about major financial decisions.

I'm married and permission to me means coming to a mutual agreement after we've weighed the investment and return of the action/item. If there is a high likelihood that the action/item doesn't have a good outlook on our return of investment, it's likely to be a no-go.

Our purchases aren't just based on ROI; we look at quality of life as well. We'll never make our money back on the 42" Aquos, but it's pretty great to have a big LCD. As for beer stuff, I doubt I'll ever get a return on that stuff, other than saving $$ by getting beer much cheaper.

 

[SmugMug]

Our purchases aren't just based on ROI; we look at quality of life as well. We'll never make our money back on the 42" Aquos, but it's pretty great to have a big LCD. As for beer stuff, I doubt I'll ever get a return on that stuff, other than saving $$ by getting beer much cheaper.

Dude, good beer is definitely an ROI. It tastes good, it makes you feel good, it gives you a sense of accomplishment and pride...I could go on. My wife doesn't drink beer and she even thinks it's a sound investment (moderately speaking) for me because it's something I enjoy and I'm fairly good at doing (I think so anyway). ROI includes quality of life.

 

[Homercidal]

Sounds like a good process. That is not the bad kind of "permission"!

The bad kind is like:
Him: Hey baby, I want to head North with the guys to ride quads.
Her: Um, I don't know... I was thinking of sitting on the couch this weekend and watching the cat do stuff. I want you to stay home with me.
Him: Um... Ok... whatever you want.

That is what gets under my skin!

Yeah, I know some people who live like this. I really try to just let it slide, since it really doesn't concern me personally, except when I invite him to go do something fun.

Disclaimer: They do have a son who requires constant vigilance, so I sort of do understand, but he could visit relatives for a day or so, IMO.

 

[Yooper]

Yeah, I know some people who live like this. I really try to just let it slide, since it really doesn't concern me personally, except when I invite him to go do something fun.

Disclaimer: They do have a son who requires constant vigilance, so I sort of do understand, but he could visit relatives for a day or so, IMO.

Do you really know people like that? That's sad, for all of them. I guess my thinking is that part of being a "grown up" is to be responsible. Oh, in some ways I'll never grow up, but I'm responsible to my family and my marriage. That means I won't blow $3000 on a Sabco even though I want one, but he knows that. He trusts me to make good decisions, because I am trustworthy.

Many people I work with said "Bob let you go to a National Homebrew Conference all by yourself? With all those drunk guys around? Driving by yourself 17 hours each way?" I answered, "Let me? He encouraged me to go and have fun! He knew it wasn't something he would enjoy, so encouraged me to go by myself". He even helped me decide on which two kegs of beer were the best to bring.

Many if he was insecure, that might have been an issue. But he doesn't always enjoy the same things I do. He loves beer, but not brewing. He HATES Disney World. So, I went with my kids to Disney and had a great time, because he would have been miserable if I pressured him to go with us. I've done many things with him, and many things without him. But we're committed to each other's happiness and fullfillment. I wouldn't want to be married to him if he was a miserable person, so I encourage his interests as well as my own.

 

[phillc]

Do you really know people like that? That's sad, for all of them. I guess my thinking is that part of being a "grown up" is to be responsible. Oh, in some ways I'll never grow up, but I'm responsible to my family and my marriage. That means I won't blow $3000 on a Sabco even though I want one, but he knows that. He trusts me to make good decisions, because I am trustworthy.

Many people I work with said "Bob let you go to a National Homebrew Conference all by yourself? With all those drunk guys around? Driving by yourself 17 hours each way?" I answered, "Let me? He encouraged me to go and have fun! He knew it wasn't something he would enjoy, so encouraged me to go by myself". He even helped me decide on which two kegs of beer were the best to bring.

Many if he was insecure, that might have been an issue. But he doesn't always enjoy the same things I do. He loves beer, but not brewing. He HATES Disney World. So, I went with my kids to Disney and had a great time, because he would have been miserable if I pressured him to go with us. I've done many things with him, and many things without him. But we're committed to each other's happiness and fullfillment. I wouldn't want to be married to him if he was a miserable person, so I encourage his interests as well as my own.

Very similar to my situation. Nice, isn't it? We enjoy doing mutual things together as much as possible, but also enjoy our own time. I make more money and pay most of the bills, but I have no problem with that. She busts her butt going to school and works as much as she can. If she has money issues, I help her. I pay for the majority of our entertainment also. I am OK with that too. If she was slacking it would be a different story, but she most definitely is not. Small purchases are no big deal and are usually presented with a "check out what I got!!!" (sometimes met with enthusiasm, sometimes with eye rolling ). Big purchases are discussed first. Approach life in a sensible, logical manner with respect for your significant other and its easy street. Sure, there are disagreements. Everybody has them. Just sprinkle a little compromise on the top and problem solved.

 

[phillc]

I have a better question for everyone here:

What does "permission" mean to you? Also, make sure to tell us if you're single, married or in a relationship.

I'm married and permission to me means coming to a mutual agreement after we've weighed the investment and return of the action/item. If there is a high likelihood that the action/item doesn't have a good outlook on our return of investment, it's likely to be a no-go.

I think my post (3rd one on page 8) sums up my situation.
As far as ROI is concerned... I don't really agree with that unless ROI can be had through fun/enjoyment. Hobbies, such as brewing, are for enjoyment - not investment. In this one, unless you are brewing beers similar to BMC, your ROI is probably pretty far out.

Another example would be going out to dinner. Is that a sound investment? No. Definitely not. You can eat for far less if you make it at home than you will pay/tip (if you don't tip, then meet me somewhere so that I can punch you) for it at a restaurant. But is it a bad idea? No. If you can afford it then it is nice and fun/enjoyable.

 

[SmugMug]

Another example would be going out to dinner. Is that a sound investment? No. Definitely not. You can eat for far less if you make it at home than you will pay/tip (if you don't tip, then meet me somewhere so that I can punch you) for it at a restaurant. But is it a bad idea? No. If you can afford it then it is nice and fun/enjoyable.

See my reply to Evan!. I further explain my point on ROI.

 

[phillc]

See my reply to Evan!. I further explain my point on ROI.

Read. Agreed.

 

[the_bird]

Do you know why divorce costs so much? Because it is worth it!

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Henny Youngman!

"Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to!"

 

[SmugMug]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Henny Youngman!

"Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to!"

Does this fall under the same category as "It's cheaper to keep her"?

 

[jwright]

Hey,
Am I the only one who "asks" for permission only to get a feel for how much s#@t I'll be in when I go ahead and do or buy what I wanted to in the first place?

Jason

 

[DeathBrewer]

I think you're actually the topic of conversation

 

[jwright]

Yep, figured so.

 

[Kass_Brauhaus]

Hey,
Am I the only one who "asks" for permission only to get a feel for how much s#@t I'll be in when I go ahead and do or buy what I wanted to in the first place?

Jason

Exactly. All about choices...