Obnoxious Football Trash Talk Thread

[stratslinger]

I thought Fireman Ed died with Mark Sanchez's career.

Believe it or not, I think he came out of retirement for the Ryan Fitzpatrick era... I think he may be considering re-retirement about now.

 

[Cape Brewing]

View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1497479893.841590.jpg

Key words being "five straight".


Now.... HOLD ON... i know when you think "clutch playoffs" you think "Peyton Manning".... and how could you not with all of those one and dones?

But.... i dunno.... that "five straight" seems kinda... a little... clutch...

Just sayin'

 

[GenIke]

That's textbook holding. Hands on the outside of the pads.

 

[bluemoose]

There are 81 days until the NFL opener between the Patriots and Kansas City Chiefs, and part of the numbers-based theme, ESPN's Stats & Information notes that teams are 1-81 over the last two seasons when trailing by 25 points. The lone win came in Super Bowl LI when the Patriots charged back to beat the Falcons.

Mike Reiss is always a good read Sunday morning.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Adorable

This guy's almost as delusional as Hoppy.

He's one step away from the Wheel of Parity.

 

[paulthenurse]

"Freeman also claimed if he had stayed in the game, he would have won MVP: “Let’s say it like this, if I would have stayed in the game — I don’t know why I got out the game, actually — but if I would have stayed in the game, I would have got MVP. I look at my stats and I see my numbers didn’t lie. Look at my numbers.”

Geezuz, even Hoppy makes more sense than that.

 

[day_trippr]

I don't care that it's June, that should be an instant entry into the NFL Concussion Protocol.
That lad ain't right in da haid!

 

[Cape Brewing]

Freeman who?

 

[paulthenurse]

I don't care that it's June, that should be an instant entry into the NFL Concussion Protocol.

That lad ain't right in da haid!

Giselle would be calling Dr Oz to get him PUP'ed for the rest of the decade.

 

[GenIke]

Could have gone either way.

 

[Homercidal]

Was shopping last night and the wife held up a Patriots pillow and said, "I think I just found your new fart pillow!"

I was kind of shocked because I could totally see her doing that with a Packers pillow, but I had no idea she followed football that much.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

I hope she didn't forget to pick up a seasons worth of x-large paper bags for the Lion's season.

 

[Cape Brewing]

That's hilarious. Like a pillow would do it. She would need a fart bean bag at least.

 

[paulthenurse]

Alright. I'm just going to come right out and ask...

WTF is a fart pillow?

 

[Cape Brewing]

... maybe a fart king size mattress.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Ooooo. A FART BARGE!!!

 

[paulthenurse]

I think the Lions wound require a fart locomotive.

 

[Cape Brewing]

I feel bad that you're so old sometimes

 

[paulthenurse]

Your momma liked me just the way I am.

 

[Cape Brewing]

(Yawn)

 

[day_trippr]

Meanwhile...

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Wait until he comes out with the coloring book version for everyone outside of New England. #1 on Amazon

View attachment 1499382325878.jpg

 

[HoppyDaze]

exploiting you retahded Pats fans...at least half of you will buy that garbage.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Why would we buy that? We already know how to win.

 

[day_trippr]

http://nep.247sports.com/Bolt/Tom-Bradys-upcoming-book-already-No-1-on-Amazon--53469176

GOAT doing goaty stuff again.
I'll wait for someone to buy the Cliff Notes and borrow that

 

[Cape Brewing]

Bah wtf... the whole joke around what Russell Wilson's book would be called is too easy. I can't even go with it

 

[paulthenurse]

"101 Recipes You Can Choke On?"

 

[HoppyDaze]

Why would we buy that? We already know how to win.

you have that on pre-order, admit it.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

you have that on pre-order, admit it.

Also the book signing.

 

[GenIke]

I'm getting the Milo book. Thanks for the suggestions.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Shocked if they didn't finally go undefeated this year

 

[paulthenurse]

How in the world are the Cowboys more valuable than the Pat's?

 

[WI_Wino]

Apparently people prefer to root for Jerry Jones instead of a bunch of cheatars?

 

[stratslinger]

How in the world are the Cowboys more valuable than the Pat's?

It's the big screen in that cushy stadium. That easily triples the value of the team. (Certainly isn't all those playoff wins.)

 

[GenIke]

America (and the world, really) would rather spend their money watching bad NFC teams over "good" AFC teams. It's middle school level math.

 

[day_trippr]

[...]It's middle school level math.

Heh heh. Adorable - if lacking in aspiration.
Fly-Over Country favors "Football For Dummies"!
How fun for you!

Do you have your own version of the Lombardi trophy, too?

 

[HoppyDaze]

America (and the world, really) would rather spend their money watching bad NFC teams over "good" AFC teams. It's middle school level math.

Troo

 

[Cape Brewing]

LOL! They're gonna fckuing win it again this year too.

Hahaha

 

[bluemoose]

Troo

 

[paulthenurse]

In case anyone is wondering, Tom Brady is the best quarterback to ever play the game.
And now you know.