Obnoxious Football Trash Talk Thread

[Homercidal]

They are chomping at the bit. They are hitting each other so hard in practice they are breaking bones! When they get healed and ready for the real season, they will be bringin the pain!

Just gotta find a new running back...

 

[JonM]

cool story bro! we've had more than you. also, it's "gefilte fish". and, that's a minnesota thing.

I think you mean lutefisk.
And Go Pack Go!

 

[motobrewer]

lol, i did mean lutefisk. gefilte fish was on my mind cause i was just at the grocery store, and i can't help not looking at the kosher section....

wait, none of you will get that joke....

 

[paulthenurse]

wait, none of you will get that joke....

No but it WAS funny. Not as funny as Homer saying the Lions are going to somehow be relevant when Thanksgiving rolls around but pretty funny anyways.

I guess.

 

[shecky]

They are chomping at the bit. They are hitting each other so hard in practice they are breaking bones! When they get healed and ready for the real season, they will be bringin the pain!

Just gotta find a new running back...

It's champing at the bit, not chomping. Just had to correct that.

Oh, and Go Pats.

 

[Beezy]

Who is watching tonight? I don't even know who is playing but tuned.

 

[Beezy]

Rivers gets so many yards because the chargers are always coming from behind. Is anyone really afraid of them?

 

[Beezy]

Tebow. Everyone in Denver must have their palms on their face. Good luck with that.

 

[motobrewer]

No but it WAS funny. Not as funny as Homer saying the Lions are going to somehow be relevant when Thanksgiving rolls around but pretty funny anyways.

I guess.

i'd be funnier if you saw my nose

 

[paulthenurse]

I just flashed back to Brian Cohen talking to his mother in "Life of Brian," btw the best movie of all time.

"I'm not a Roman, Mum. I'm a kike, a yid, a heebie, a hook nose! I'm kosher, Mum. I'm a Red Sea pedestrian and damn proud of it!"

But the Lions are still gonna suck.

 

[the_bird]

Jim Koch just spent a three-minute in-game interview promoting homebrewing. Victory formation, mother****ers, that means we win.

 

[paulthenurse]

We should let Homer in on that. It's probably the only chance he'll get to have that "We win!!!" feeling.


Oh, sorry Homer. I forgot you were reading this thread.

 

[paulthenurse]

It's champing at the bit, not chomping. Just had to correct that.

Oh, and Go Pats.

Hey Shecky, hope you can make it to Masstoberfest thus year. I'm champing at the bit for it to get here so I can start chomping on the hawg.

 

[Homercidal]

It's champing at the bit, not chomping. Just had to correct that.

Oh, and Go Pats.

Oh, I see... One of THOSE guys, huh.

Must be on the east coast.

 

[paulthenurse]

Is anyone else following the tempest in a teapot that is BSS's posting the pick of Brady's kids tallywacker? Actually, the pic is just a pic of a toddler on the beach with his tallywacker in view. I would bet five years off Capes life that everyone here has let their 2 year old kid run around bare-assed on the beach. Sand in a diaper is a major drag, whether it's in Moto's vag or a two year old's arse. Obviously the dirt bag paparazzi who took those pictures should die a slow agonizing death but there is nothing sexual about the pictures. The thing that, at least to me, IS an issue is BSS's commentary. You can't go talking about a 2 year old's 'howizer.' That is what elevates it to pandering and porn. I've enjoyed BSS in the past (Who doesn't like looking at pics of hot chicks under the disguise of a 'Sports Web Site?) but I don't think I'll be going back. BSS crossed too many lines.

PTN

 

[motobrewer]

"this vag...is clear..."

what's a "beach"?

 

[paulthenurse]

Good ones consist of miles upon miles of white sand rolling down to crashing waves and a lot of people enjoying the water, a few brews and each other's company. Really good ones are covered with hot girls in skimpy bikini's. Exceptional ones have really hot girls without the bikini's.

You probably don't have any beaches out in East Bartfark. It's an East Coast thing.

 

[motobrewer]

Good ones consist of miles upon miles of white sand rolling down to crashing waves and a lot of people enjoying the water, a few brews and each other's company. Really good ones are covered with hot girls in skimpy bikini's. Exceptional ones have really hot girls without the bikini's.

You probably don't have any beaches out in East Bartfark. It's an East Coast thing.

wild.

i think we had one once. then city of milwaukee dumped ~90000 tons of raw sewage into the lake, possibly to piss off chicago?

 

[paulthenurse]

And you wonder why the rest of the civilized world wonders why the hell anyone lives out there?


Certainly isn't for the great sports teams.

 

[motobrewer]

the only really bad part about it is the cold. i tried to get out, had a few offers, but they weren't enough to make the move, as the wife has a solid job here. and with little kids, the benefit of being close to family is huge.

summers here are great, it's just....they last about 2 months.

there's tons of stuff to do here, like....great taste of the midwest this weekend! 124 breweries, one tent dedicated to real ale, and 5 hours of non-stop pouring.

 

[the_bird]

there's tons of stuff to do here, like....great taste of the midwest this weekend! 124 breweries, one tent dedicated to real ale, and 5 hours of non-stop pouring.

Yawn. There's more beer than that at Masstoberfest.

 

[user 574]

That's the problem with east coasters. You just don't get out much. WI has 892 mi of coastline & MA has 192.

And I think it's ok to stare at that girls hot body, she's probably of age by now. And Cape, I see a football way in the background over there so STFU

By the way, NE winters suck as well. It just sucks more over here.

 

[paulthenurse]

Uhhhhhhhhh

Dude, I hate to be the one to tell you but summers are great EVERYWHERE and they last for months upon months. And in some spots the winters are actually fun. You can go outside without freezing the piss in your dick solid.

You are telling us that you live in East Buttfark because for ONE weekend a year you can hangout in a tent with 22,000 other socially deprived farkers, eat lutke fiske and drink Old Milwaukee? Oh ya... you have baysitters!!!!!!

Hell dude, I'll baby sit the brats for you. Pack the car and get out now while you still can salvage a life.

 

[paulthenurse]

892 miles of mosquito breeding grounds.

No thanks. I get more than 15 miles from the smell of the ocean and I start getting itchy.

 

[paulthenurse]

I will admit that the chick in the striped bathing suit has a great arse.

 

[paulthenurse]

Yawn. There's more beer than that at Masstoberfest.

I love you, man.

 

[user 574]

I will admit that the chick in the striped bathing suit has a great arse.

Two slaps on each cheek and a hair pull; that's what I'm thinking.

Can the regular season start already!?!

 

[shecky]

That's the problem with east coasters. You just don't get out much. WI has 892 mi of coastline & MA has 192..

A lake does not qualify as "coastline."

 

[motobrewer]

Uhhhhhhhhh

Dude, I hate to be the one to tell you but summers are great EVERYWHERE and they last for months upon months. And in some spots the winters are actually fun. You can go outside without freezing the piss in your dick solid.

You are telling us that you live in East Buttfark because for ONE weekend a year you can hangout in a tent with 22,000 other socially deprived farkers, eat lutke fiske and drink Old Milwaukee? Oh ya... you have baysitters!!!!!!

Hell dude, I'll baby sit the brats for you. Pack the car and get out now while you still can salvage a life.

cool story bro.

i travel enough for work, thanks.

 

[shecky]

Hey Shecky, hope you can make it to Masstoberfest thus year. I'm champing at the bit for it to get here so I can start chomping on the hawg.

Man, I would love to but these are always scheduled during football season. A little busy this time of year. There's a slight possibility this year because my game is the the 16th, but I think my daughter has a soccer tournament in NY that weekend.

Move the damn thing to August and I'll be there.

 

[motobrewer]

Yawn. There's more beer than that at Masstoberfest.

in my best goofey impression....


ah-hyuck!!!

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

Meh. The right coast is pretty cool. But Milwaukee is just as interesting in different ways. And Wisconsin is much more naturally beautiful. Your seafood is a shat ton better though, so I hate you for that.

The Packers are still going to dominate and I have realistic hopes of a pennant coming to Milwaukee.

Also, I think the Pats are my pick for regression team of the year. I don't think they are going to be the force they were last year. How does that make you feel little man/woman/pat?

 

[the_bird]

Also, I think the Pats are my pick for regression team of the year. I don't think they are going to be the force they were last year. How does that make you feel little man/woman/pat?

To suspend the smack-talk for a second...

In all honesty, I don't expect them to go 14-2 this year (or 15-1, or 16-0). It takes a lot of luck to only lose two regular season games.

BUT, I think they're a lot better positioned to have success in the playoffs. This is the best I've felt about the team in several years. They're going to score a lot of points. They can run the ball, they've got a ton of weapons among the receivers, they've got the two best young tight ends in the game (Gronk has been the best player in camp this year).

On the defensive side, they've got a lot more beer up front, which is going to help them more-consistently shut down the running game and is going to free up Mayo and Spikes (and Dane Fletcher, aka Ted Johnson Jr.) to make tackles. The defensive backfield is very strong.

I really don't see a weakness, and I see a lot more strength in the trenches that we've had... even back in 2007, the team's weakness was right up the gut. I don't see that as being the case any more.

I'm stoked.

 

[Beezy]

The Pats will melt down this year.

 

[the_bird]

Not a prayer, not a chance in hell.

Did you watch last night's game? The Patriots backups would go 9-7.

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

I just checked out the highlights from last nights games...

I hate to compliment the Patsies, but they did probably get one of the better deals of the draft. I think Ryan Mallett is going to be a GOOD starting quarterback in the NFL. I really don't know how I feel about Cam Newton, but after him (possibly) I think Mallett will be the best QB out of the draft class.

First NFL action, dude throws 15-of-21 for 171 yards with one touchdown for a quarterback rating of 111.4 while leading the team to four straight TDs and a route. Yikes. I don't think I called it here, which is too bad, but I said all along that dude was going to be the best of the group.

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

Also, T-Jack leading the Seahawks makes my smile. It is so sad that they think they will win any games with him... They are like lost puppies.

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

Further, Mike Vick could be scary this year. And VY could actually learn that pocket presence is important from someone he will probably listen too. They could be very good this year.

 

[the_bird]

I just checked out the highlights from last nights games...

I hate to compliment the Patsies, but they did probably get one of the better deals of the draft. I think Ryan Mallett is going to be a GOOD starting quarterback in the NFL. I really don't know how I feel about Cam Newton, but after him (possibly) I think Mallett will be the best QB out of the draft class.

First NFL action, dude throws 15-of-21 for 171 yards with one touchdown for a quarterback rating of 111.4 while leading the team to four straight TDs and a route. Yikes. I don't think I called it here, which is too bad, but I said all along that dude was going to be the best of the group.

He still has stuff to work on, though. A few passes he threw too hard, one that was almost picked. Encouraging, but he needs at least a year as third-string.

Brian Hoyer, though... I sure as **** hope he never plays a down in New England, but this kid is GOOD. Undrafted, but watch him play. Accurate. Good arm. Plays in control. Good reads. Keeps the team in at a good tempo. Seems like he can make all the throws, and never seems to make a bad one. A team like Seattle should have called up New England and made an offer for him, he's looked good every time he's been out there (looks a lot better that Matt Cassell ever did).

What's going to be the worst team this year? Carolina? Miami, I think there's a good chance they finish last in the division (I'd take Buffalo's Ryan Fitzpatrick over Chad Henne any day).

But, who's going to be the inevitable 1-15 or 2-14 squad?

 

[Boerderij_Kabouter]

I think Cinci and Seattle will be deadlocked for worst in the NFL. Abandon all hope, ye who cheer.

On another note, I can't stop watching this...