No matter what- You too will do stupid shiz

[tre9er]

I got a high pressure jet nozzle for my garden hose, and turned it on while looking directly into the nozzle. Felt like I'd blown my eyeball apart. I immediately clapped a hand over the eye, and was afraid to look at it for several minutes. There was no damage, but I still have no idea how I could have done such a stupid thing.

I lol'd at work. I've done stuff like that and wondered, "Do I even have an eye left?!?"

 

[tre9er]

I took a piss up hill once... Never again.

or in a stiff wind...

 

[neosapien]

I took a leak in the middle of harvesting my jolokia peppers Didn't even think about it. Screamed bloody murder. Never again.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

On the last fetch of that day I missed his rollback and spun around, started to bend over to get the ball and impaled my right eye socket on the Mooose antlers we had just put up on the wall.

AAGGHH!! Sh!t! Dang!

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

AAGGHH!! Sh!t! Dang!

Ha. That is EXACTLY how I picture you.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

If I ordered chili and it came over spaghetti I'd be annoyed, but if I went to someone's house and thats what they served me I'd probably love it. Kind of like when my ex girlfriend's grandmother subbed out hardboiled eggs for meatballs in her spaghetti sauce.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

If I ordered chili and it came over spaghetti I'd be annoyed, but if I went to someone's house and thats what they served me I'd probably love it. Kind of like when my ex girlfriend's grandmother subbed out hardboiled eggs for meatballs in her spaghetti sauce.

Ha. First time I ever tried Pho' (Vietnamese noodle soup) it was listed as having meatballs.

Turns out they were fishballs (not testicular, btw).

Nasty.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I love Pho and I love fishballs. I still pronounce it "Foe" in my head, even though I know its pronounced "Fuh."

 

[GarageDweller]

you love fishballs.

uhhh huh huh huh...

 

[bscott1011]

I made chili monday and was about half way through dicing a habanero when i realized that i didn't glove up first. Washed my hands about a dozen times but still nearly blinded myself when i put contacts in before work that night

 

[nukebrewer]

Last night I made chili. Because my wife and I both like a little more heat in our chili than just cayenne, and because my stomach cant handle scotch bonnets, I sliced up about 6 nice red jalepenos. And then I did it. What's the one thing you are told over and over again NOT to do?

Yup, I rubbed my eye. 20 something years of hearing chefs and yutzes on the morning shows warning you not to rub your eyes when you have handled hot peppers, and here I was... jumping around my kitchen shouting "F'! SH!T!"

SWBO "WHAT?!"
ME: "I just rubbed my eye...!"
SWMBO: "oh no! flush it with water!!"
ME: "I CANT! Its still on my hands!
SWMBO: "OK I'm coming!"
ME: "Get the vinegar for my hands, I cant see!" *bumps into her and shouts F'! again"*
SWMBO: "I cant reach it, the shelf is too high!"
ME: "WHY ARE YOU SO FRIGGING SHORT?!"
SWMBO: "Be nice! Now come to the sink!"

Thats right, I wound up bent over the sink flushing my eyes in my wife's cupped hands. All the while saying "wow, Im an idiot, Im REALLY an idiot. That was dumb."

So yeah, what's something you know you shouldn't do, you've been told a million times, and yet you still do/did it. In before you, Chapp, yeah yeah, clicking on a CreamyGoodness thread. RDRR. Humpf.

If you are wondering, by the way, the chili still came out darned good. I put beans in mine. Some of you will just have to deal with that.

So I read this this morning and it made want to make chili for dinner. So I did. But somehow, even keeping your story in mind I still managed to f*** this up. I cut up two jalapenos to put in my chili and did what I deemed to be a thorough hand washing. Cut to an hour and a half later; all the ingredients are in, the chili's been cooking down for a while and I decide to go for a run while it's cooking. Cut to twenty minutes later when I am at 2.5 miles and have been wiping my forehead with with my jalapeno handling hand. Yep, now I've got jalapeno death sweat dripping into my eyes and I've still got 2.5 miles to go to get home. I very nearly broke down and tried to hitch a ride so I could get home to flush my eyes. But I'm stubborn and I'm a man, so I toughed it out. Anyway, the lesson I want to pass on is that if you think you've done enough to clean your hand of pepper oils, do some more. It's still there.

 

[gcdowd]

Spilled scalding bacon grease on myself last week. Believe it or not, this is my arm looking much better.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Spilled scalding bacon grease on myself last week. Believe it or not, this is my arm looking much better.

View attachment 81006

Damn.

 

[Dr. Francois]

Last night I made chili. Because my wife and I both like a little more heat in our chili than just cayenne, and because my stomach cant handle scotch bonnets, I sliced up about 6 nice red jalepenos. And then I did it. What's the one thing you are told over and over again NOT to do?

Yup, I rubbed my eye. 20 something years of hearing chefs and yutzes on the morning shows warning you not to rub your eyes when you have handled hot peppers, and here I was... jumping around my kitchen shouting "F'! SH!T!"

SWBO "WHAT?!"
ME: "I just rubbed my eye...!"
SWMBO: "oh no! flush it with water!!"
ME: "I CANT! Its still on my hands!
SWMBO: "OK I'm coming!"
ME: "Get the vinegar for my hands, I cant see!" *bumps into her and shouts F'! again"*
SWMBO: "I cant reach it, the shelf is too high!"
ME: "WHY ARE YOU SO FRIGGING SHORT?!"
SWMBO: "Be nice! Now come to the sink!"

Thats right, I wound up bent over the sink flushing my eyes in my wife's cupped hands. All the while saying "wow, Im an idiot, Im REALLY an idiot. That was dumb."

So yeah, what's something you know you shouldn't do, you've been told a million times, and yet you still do/did it. In before you, Chapp, yeah yeah, clicking on a CreamyGoodness thread. RDRR. Humpf.

If you are wondering, by the way, the chili still came out darned good. I put beans in mine. Some of you will just have to deal with that.

You are a great writer! Thanks for this.

Can you explain your signature quotes?

 

[m_c_zero]

Spilled scalding bacon grease on myself last week.

I bet it smelled delicious at least...

 

[gcdowd]

I bet it smelled delicious at least...

Yeah I admit it did. My arm said otherwise

 

[dudius]

In this thread:

OP: [Story about making chilli, cutting peppers, rubbing eyes]
Everyone else: "Mmmmm, chilli!"

 

[Homercidal]

And bacon...

 

[dkwolf]

And bacon...

Mmm.......bacon....

 

[Subsailor]

Did somebody say BACON!!!!!!!!

 

[CreamyGoodness]

You are a great writer! Thanks for this.

Can you explain your signature quotes?

Hehe thanks for the kind words.

I make a lot of JAOM, so I use a lot of breadyeast. The buttons on the hat is an old George Carlin joke. Usually its older gentlemen of questionable eyesight who would wear such a chapeau in public.

 

[Krovitz]

I was chopping up habenero for chili. Went to take a leak. My little friend felt like he was on fire. For some reason I thought milk would help, so there I was, standing in the bath room while my girlfriend poured milk on my tallywhacker.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

A friend of mine tells a story of eating dinner at his Bengali (I believe) friend's house growing up. On the table was a big bowl of what appeared to be ground beef. So he took the serving spoon and served himself a healthy dollop, and picked up a forkfull and started to bring it to his mouth.

The 80something year old grandmother started shouting in Hindi or Urdu or Bengali or whatever. Alarmed, making big hand motions.

"Oh yeah, man, careful with that stuff! Try a teenie tiny bit and if you like it take more." So thats what he did. Apparently it was a fermented vegetable skin that included nameless chilis. He broke into a flop sweat and had a full on out of body experience. Next thing he remembers is the grandmother rubbing his back and offering him milk.

 

[dfc]

Last night I made chili. Because my wife and I both like a little more heat in our chili than just cayenne, and because my stomach cant handle scotch bonnets, I sliced up about 6 nice red jalepenos. And then I did it. What's the one thing you are told over and over again NOT to do?

Yup, I rubbed my eye. 20 something years of hearing chefs and yutzes on the morning shows warning you not to rub your eyes when you have handled hot peppers, and here I was... jumping around my kitchen shouting "F'! SH!T!"

SWBO "WHAT?!"
ME: "I just rubbed my eye...!"
SWMBO: "oh no! flush it with water!!"
ME: "I CANT! Its still on my hands!
SWMBO: "OK I'm coming!"
ME: "Get the vinegar for my hands, I cant see!" *bumps into her and shouts F'! again"*
SWMBO: "I cant reach it, the shelf is too high!"
ME: "WHY ARE YOU SO FRIGGING SHORT?!"
SWMBO: "Be nice! Now come to the sink!"

Thats right, I wound up bent over the sink flushing my eyes in my wife's cupped hands. All the while saying "wow, Im an idiot, Im REALLY an idiot. That was dumb."

So yeah, what's something you know you shouldn't do, you've been told a million times, and yet you still do/did it. In before you, Chapp, yeah yeah, clicking on a CreamyGoodness thread. RDRR. Humpf.

If you are wondering, by the way, the chili still came out darned good. I put beans in mine. Some of you will just have to deal with that.

I can one up you regarding hot chiles. I was dicing up some habeneros for chili and I wasn't wearing any gloves. I washed my hands and continued about my day.

Shortly after the wife and I start fooling around. Things are getting hot and heavy when she starts backing off of my hand. She then asks "Babe, did you wash your hands after cutting up the habeneros"? Apparently I still had some residual oils that didn't come off with the first hand washing and she was on fire inside.

Needless to say, that escapade was finished.

 

[dfc]

Where I come from we have:

1) Chili - used for toppings of Sandwiches, burgers, hot dogs. Only contains meat and sauce

2) Chili beans - made with meat, sauce, and beans. Served as a stand alone meal in a bowl.

No complaints on the beans, it's a fine meal.

Let the purists have their chili the way they want. Mine has ground turkey, black beans and corn in it. It's damn good chili if I may say.

 

[dfc]

Ouch! I had a hot pepper flake get in my eye when we were eating pizza outside on a nice afternoon and I was spicing up my slice of pie. That sucked!

Chili oddity here in Indy (Which I don't, being from MS I think this is really weird and still do after 10 years of living here) - noodles in the bottom of the bowl, chili on top.

Chili mac. You can thank Cincinnati for that.

 

[Nova5]

Last night I made chili. Because my wife and I both like a little more heat in our chili than just cayenne, and because my stomach cant handle scotch bonnets, I sliced up about 6 nice red jalepenos. And then I did it. What's the one thing you are told over and over again NOT to do?

Yup, I rubbed my eye. 20 something years of hearing chefs and yutzes on the morning shows warning you not to rub your eyes when you have handled hot peppers, and here I was... jumping around my kitchen shouting "F'! SH!T!"

SWBO "WHAT?!"
ME: "I just rubbed my eye...!"
SWMBO: "oh no! flush it with water!!"
ME: "I CANT! Its still on my hands!
SWMBO: "OK I'm coming!"
ME: "Get the vinegar for my hands, I cant see!" *bumps into her and shouts F'! again"*
SWMBO: "I cant reach it, the shelf is too high!"
ME: "WHY ARE YOU SO FRIGGING SHORT?!"
SWMBO: "Be nice! Now come to the sink!"

Thats right, I wound up bent over the sink flushing my eyes in my wife's cupped hands. All the while saying "wow, Im an idiot, Im REALLY an idiot. That was dumb."

So yeah, what's something you know you shouldn't do, you've been told a million times, and yet you still do/did it. In before you, Chapp, yeah yeah, clicking on a CreamyGoodness thread. RDRR. Humpf.

If you are wondering, by the way, the chili still came out darned good. I put beans in mine. Some of you will just have to deal with that.

I will say it ONCE.. and once only. That is not pain.


Grab your junk next time.. yea you go to take a piss... and then.. well... its EVERYWHERE but where you want.

 

[annasdadhockey]

I can one up you regarding hot chiles. I was dicing up some habeneros for chili and I wasn't wearing any gloves. I washed my hands and continued about my day.

Shortly after the wife and I start fooling around. Things are getting hot and heavy when she starts backing off of my hand. She then asks "Babe, did you wash your hands after cutting up the habeneros"? Apparently I still had some residual oils that didn't come off with the first hand washing and she was on fire inside.

Needless to say, that escapade was finished.

I, too, have done this. They have no sense of humor about that,

 

[dfc]

I, too, have done this. They have no sense of humor about that,

Haha, yeah. She was kind of upset about that. She has red hair though and it made the name "Fire crotch" much more fitting.

 

[ToV]

The worst moment I've had with hot things, is I had some OC spray in my pocket and it got pressed against my keys . . . you can finish the story.

Habanero hand when taking a leak, jalapeno in the eye, nothing else come close.

In conclusion that is the one time I bathed in milk.