You make mead, you brew beer...
That out of the way, how long ago did you start the batches of mead? What yeast did you use? Without a hydrometer you have pretty much no way to know what the OG was. Even if you use the calculator on the Got Mead? site, you could have a very different OG. Get a hydrometer, or refractometer, ASAP. At least before you start your next batch. I've stopped using the hydrometer completely, using the refractometer(s) instead. Much smaller sample needed (.5ml at most) and you don't need to worry about temperature of the sample (with one that has ATC).
General rule of thumb to follow with mead is to give it TIME... For one going to <14% ABV, I'd give it 6-9 months before even thinking about bottling it. At 14-18% I'd give it a minimum of 9-12 months. Over 18% plan on at least 12-18 months before it goes to bottle. I wouldn't rack any more often than once every month or two. Wait until the yeast has finished doing all it can before you rack it the first time.
Also, I don't see how you could kill your yeast from pitching it 'too soon'... Unless you cooked the honey/must and it was too hot. Try the 'no heat' method of making mead. You ONLY warm the honey up enough to get it to flow easily (under 100-110F) and then mix it with the water amount. If you rehydrate the yeast according to instructions, you'll be good there too. Keeping it fermenting in the temperature range where the yeast does it's best work is also important. Otherwise you'll need even more time for it to be ready for bottles.
For reference, I have a batch of mead that I had in bulk/batch form for a solid year before I bottled it. I didn't need to stabilize it since it was done. It finished sweet (which was my goal) so I know the yeast had done all it could and wouldn't kick off another round. I had racked it a few times, as needed, so that it was very clear. I even put it on oak cubes for about 5-6 weeks before bottling it up. Turned into an excellent batch of traditional mead, using regional wildflower honey. It is at 18% too (used EC-1118 yeast, so the time in bulk did it a huge service). I have another batch that I started at the same time, using the same honey and yeast, to the same strength, but I stabilized and bottled it earlier. While it was still really good when drinking it, it really isn't as great as the other batch. I have a few bottles left of the earlier bottled batch that I'm holding onto to see how it bottle ages.
Hopefully you'll get to the other side of the ugly divorce soon and will be able to move on with your life.