My girlfriend. Help bring her to the good side of the Force

[BigErn]

Try experimenting with Fruit beer... If that doesnt work theres always Wine or Cider. I just opened up a bottle of Cyser my friend made and my girlfriend is absolutely in love with it. She even ordered a kit for me to make without telling me.

 

[PT Ray]

A couple months ago I set out to try and brew a session strength cider just out of some apple juice. I wasn't really making it for anyone but when the girlfriend got hold of it she took to it like white on rice. Normally she may have a beer or two but just about killed a 2 liter of the cider the first time she tried it.

Hey, it's a lot easier to make than beer. It was just apple juice fermented with ale yeast, then stabilized and back sweetened with 2 cans of apple concentrate before force carbing.

 

[LVBen]

How can I get a reluctant beer drinker on the "Good Path"?

I dunno, but if you figure it out, let me know...

The closer the beer is to water, the more SWMBO likes it. She dislikes hops and malt and if it has any color whatsoever, she is automatically opposed to it.

 

[LVBen]

What you want to do (I personally know this works) is take the meanest IIPA you can find fill a baptistery with it and submerge you unwilling wife in it. At first it sounds extreme but look at the task at hand. I do have to warn you this rout might affect other aspects of her life, mine just sits in bed wrapped in the sheets and kind of shakes but at least she’ll drink an imperial now.

LOL! I had to keep myself from bursting too loudly at work when I read that! I just brewed an IIPA on Friday. I wonder if I could actually get SWMBO to drink a glass with me...

 

[NorCalAngler]

I'm surprised with the number of people suggesting easing her into it or trying to suggest different beers until she finds one she likes. This is a recipe for disaster and resentment if you don't buffer it by sharing that you like the idea of a hobby you two can enjoy together.

This comment from OP says it all: "I am starting to hear grumbles about all the "beer stuff" I read and the beer related discussions that seem to keep popping up into every discussion."

I know you're passionate about your hobby, but if she's grumbling about how much it's coming up in your conversations then you're just laying it on too thick. Back off, enjoy your hobby and try to find something else you two can do together. I brew at night when my wife goes to bed for this very reason. It's a time consuming process that takes constant attention (meaning, attention away from her) Couple that with the fact that she doesn't like the final product and you can see how resentment will slowly build.

I suggest scrapping the idea that this hobby is something you two will enjoy together (that's perfectly OK) and instead try to think of another hobby you two can do together to balance things out a bit.

 

[LVBen]

I'm surprised with the number of people suggesting easing her into it or trying to suggest different beers until she finds one she likes.

I think this comes from the fact that many of us that really love beer used to be like them, but we grew to love it. I wish we did keg stands with an IIPA instead of BMC light when I was in college. I would've appreciated beer at a much younger age.

 

[NorCalAngler]

I think this comes from the fact that many of us that really love beer used to be like them, but we grew to love it. I wish we did keg stands with an IIPA instead of BMC light when I was in college. I would've appreciated beer at a much younger age.

I have a different take on it. Most of us started drinking beer due to peer pressure and the fact that a man has to like beer otherwise he's not a man. I think I speak for most people that my first beer was BMC and it tasted like cold, sweet urine at the time. Due to peer pressure I kept drinking this nasty crap and eventually came around, but without the peer pressure there is no way I would have continued to drink it. I'm in my thirties and my generation had fathers that drank BMC exclusively, not craft beer. I think our children will be much better off because us fathers know what real beer should taste like.

Back to the point, she doesn't like beer and probably doesn't like feeling pressured because "it's not right that she doesn't like it" just like we faced as teenagers.

Then again maybe I'm way off base and I just need to leave work and have a beer or three.

 

[Yooper]

I have a different take on it. Most of us started drinking beer due to peer pressure and the fact that a man has to like beer otherwise he's not a man.

I don't know about the "being a man" peer pressure. I love beer, and grew to appreciate it even more when I lived in Germany as a young adult. I never thought of beer as being a "man's drink" but I would agree that some women like sweeter drinks, like a semi-sweet white wine or fruity wines.

I am on the "people like what they like" bandwagon. I hate chocolate, and my spouse telling me that I just don't have a refined palate since I don't like chocolate won't ever make me like it.

 

[mojotele]

The peer pressure thing doesn't fit for me. I didn't have a single drink until after I was 21. One day I grabbed a beer at a party and drank it simply because I wanted to know what it tasted like. It was some Sam Adams. I hated it.

Then I decided to have a Guinness a few days later. I loved it. Peer pressure had nothing to do with my taste for beer. I wasn't pressured into liking Guinness, I just liked it. Likewise, I wasn't pressured into disliking Sam Adams, I just didn't like it. This is one of the reasons why I don't think beer is necessarily an acquired taste - something a lot of people like to say.

Like Yooper said, you can't convince someone to like something. You can convince someone to eat/drink it anyway, but they still won't like it. I think giving someone space, though, makes it more likely for them to later approach you with an open mind. If this girl (or anyone) eventually wants to find a beer she likes, she'll initiate it herself. Until then, just chill out.

 

[motobrewer]

does she drink/ like coffee? if so have her try a coffee stout or a chocolate stout. i've had pretty good success introducing those styles to women. maybe try a nice porter. not every woman likes light fruity beers.

yeah i'm with this. just because she's a woman doesn't mean she has to like "lighter" beers or sugar.

my wife is pretty eclectic in her beer tastes (she doesn't drink much beer to begin with). She doesn't like hoppy beers, but she loved southern tier's barleywine. she doesn't drink coffee but loved my porter. she hated my low IBU ESB (I thought it was the best beer i've ever made) and she hates most "lighter" beers. i'm not sure if she's had a wheat....

try giving her a porter.

 

[hal2814]

I'd just leave her be. If she likes your beer, she'll drink it.

As far as reasons for starting to drink are concerned, I'll just be upfront and honest about it: I drank beer to be cool. And much like Norm MacDonald, dammit I was cool. I smoked, too. Cool people started hanging out with me. I started dating girls who used to not give me the time of day before. When I started drinking imports and micros, it was because I had easy access to them through the pizza joint I worked at... and it was also cool to be drinking a "fancy" beer at a party without being snobbish about it.

But some time around early college, cool sort of lost its allure. Then I was stuck with a smoking habit that was hell to kick (now limited to maybe one cigar per month), and a strong love of beer. So I guess it wasn't all bad.

 

[Mirage]

My GF didn't like beer either. Magic Hat #9 was the first beer that both of us liked and thought that beer was actually a good beverage. I know it is a little hoppy but the other flavors make it special. We also had only been drinking BMC so idk.

 

[h4rdluck]

i got a new girlfriend.

one that liked beer from the start.

I'm a much happier man.

 

[Mirage]

LOL, that is another way to handle the situation. Kinda like my buddy who dumped a girl because she was a Yankees fan.

 

[Swooded]

My wife hates almost all beer, the only think I could get her to actually drink was a Frambois. That being said, I keep a keg of cider on tap, and it keeps her happy...

^ this was my first thought upon reading your post (Cider).
As has been said many times, some people really don't like Beer. For the most part if that's something that's in their mind, it wont matter what beer it is because it'll "taste like beer".
The Cider, Wine & Meade sections here are great resources too (just as helpful as the Beer ones) and it's actually pretty interesting/fun to try. The great thing about simple cider or what have you is you can just throw it together without having to put a whole brew day in too.

Edit: Also, if you brew something that is "not beer" for her (even if you drink it too) it'll be a nice gesture & involve her in the process in a more inclusive way, than trying to change her mind on something.

 

[152Sumo]

Maybe. I'm no relationship expert, but consider this. What if her passion was quilting? What if she LOVED quilting and making quilts more than any other hobby. Now, you like them ok, and can appreciate them as "nice", but you can really appreciate how much she loves it. Now, assume she decides that YOU should be as excited as she is about this great hobby (your words), and starts to talk constantly about quilting, and its history, and how important it is. Not only expecting you to hang the quilts, but to appreciate them as much as she does.

Now, I realize that isn't a great analogy, but I think everyone gets what I'm saying. The hobby IS wonderful, and brewing is my obsession. Bob drinks my beer with gusto (even starting to become a hophead, finally) but I certainly can't push him or encourage him to love brewing. He doesn't like all beer styles, but he drinks more of them than he used to. He won't touch a stout, an imperial anything, or an oaked beer. He doesn't brew, doesn't enjoy talking about brewing, and doesn't help with brewing. Because it's MY hobby. If he handed me a shovel (gardening is HIS hobby), I'd get pissed.

I'm all about supporting your life partner. But I'm pricklish about trying to get them excited about a hobby that they lovingly tolerate.

Good advice. I am going to use it. My wife likes beer, but only the yellow fizzy stuff. There is nothing wrong with that, and I don't pressure her into liking something else. What I have been trying, is getting her excited (like I am) about the brewing process. She gives me a warning when I talk too much about it and says: "I feel a nosebleed coming". I will just leave her alone and save my excited rants for someone who has the same interest. She just likes to drink her cans of natty light and be left alone. Fair enough.

 

[Goingforsound]

Oh, I am so happy that my girlfriend loves beer, loves making beer, loves fermenting beer in our closet and enjoy drinking any style of beer!

Good luck with your challenge. And a belgian white is a really easy beer to drink, let her try that!