Mother in laws!?
- Thread starter mtg4772
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Yeah, i'll keep you posted. And yeah, i posted about that neighbor that gave me crap about the fond memories my daughter will have about me brewing.
The whole thing with the MIL is pretty sad. My wife is trying to be there for her mom, but her mom is just meddling entirely too much and I've had it.
All: Sorry about posting an off topic like this, but man I was just frickin' desperate. I can't talk to anyone about it because they won't listen. Just because from the outside looking in I appear to have it pretty good. So no one wants to hear it. But really this MIL is too much.
The whole thing with the MIL is pretty sad. My wife is trying to be there for her mom, but her mom is just meddling entirely too much and I've had it.
All: Sorry about posting an off topic like this, but man I was just frickin' desperate. I can't talk to anyone about it because they won't listen. Just because from the outside looking in I appear to have it pretty good. So no one wants to hear it. But really this MIL is too much.
bottlebomber
Well-Known Member
It's ok buddy. We had my wife's parents over a few weeks ago for most of the day and evening, and it made me reflect on all the cultures that tend to live together as one large family. How do they stay sane?
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leftcontact
Well-Known Member
Sane, heck, how do they manage to reproduce, especially the cosleeping ones?
bottlebomber
Well-Known Member
leftcontact said:
They must have time slots. After awhile you've just got to be realistic about this stuff.
thisbeluke
Member
I think this is highly appropriate...
Last edited by a moderator:
I can honestly say that my mother in law is far worse to her daughter than to me. When we first met, she always bragged about her son and compared us in every way possible for some reason. It came to a head on Thanksgiving when she and my wife had a fight over who could eat more - me or her brother. All i have to say is that since that day, my mother in law has done nothing but brag about how much her son in law loves her cooking. 
The best part is I'm 7 years older and at least about 30lbs lighter than him.
The best part is I'm 7 years older and at least about 30lbs lighter than him.
I sometimes like to make jokes about my MIL, but honestly some days she isn't completely annoying.
My MIL kicks ass. Actually my in-laws all together kick ass.
I'm lucky in that regard.
I'm lucky in that regard.
My MIL is somewhat annoying but only in large doses.
What's good, though, is that she's equally annoying to both my wife and I, which keeps the important conflict (marital) down substantially. Her mom comes to visit for a couple days, but not a week because that would annoy both of us equally. We can roll our eyes at her mom together and commiserate ("did she send you that email, too? what the hell?"). There's never any fights about "Can my mom come stay for a week?" because she doesn't want that, either!
What would be terrible is if my wife was *not* annoyed by her mother and wanted her around all the time. As it stands, it's just about right - she's ~5 hours away, close enough where we can see her when we want (probably 4-5 times a year) but not so far away that it has to be a week-long trip when we do.
We were both in a bit of a panic when she talked about getting a place out near Albany, only about an hour away...
What's good, though, is that she's equally annoying to both my wife and I, which keeps the important conflict (marital) down substantially. Her mom comes to visit for a couple days, but not a week because that would annoy both of us equally. We can roll our eyes at her mom together and commiserate ("did she send you that email, too? what the hell?"). There's never any fights about "Can my mom come stay for a week?" because she doesn't want that, either!
What would be terrible is if my wife was *not* annoyed by her mother and wanted her around all the time. As it stands, it's just about right - she's ~5 hours away, close enough where we can see her when we want (probably 4-5 times a year) but not so far away that it has to be a week-long trip when we do.
We were both in a bit of a panic when she talked about getting a place out near Albany, only about an hour away...
bottlebomber
Well-Known Member
My MIL will eat both pizza and even fried chicken with a fork and knife. She is constantly examining your table manners. I would love to really go to town with this but my wife would be horrified so for the love of her I keep up the image (did I say mirage?)
CreamyGoodness
Well-Known Member
Only thing MIL does that bugs me is she talks incessantly about counting calories and portion count. Her sainted husband has to hide snacks and escape to diners to have fries. I asked what she drinks on the boat and she says "Bud 64" "oh really? I didnt think you would like that" "I dont, but its better than getting fat" "No, it really isnt".
Update: The MIL is scheduled to move back to her condo, 3 hours away, today.
I can’t wait for Monday to see if the MIL shows up at my place or not. Also, my wife has the MIL reading this book called “Boundaries.”
I read part of the damn book and told my wife, “See! That’s what I’ve been saying all along.”
Now back to brewing.
I can’t wait for Monday to see if the MIL shows up at my place or not. Also, my wife has the MIL reading this book called “Boundaries.”
I read part of the damn book and told my wife, “See! That’s what I’ve been saying all along.”
Now back to brewing.
What does this have to do with brewing? Not very friggin' much, but I'm at a complete loss and it is the general chit chat forum. So I hope I'm not too far off topic:
I don't know whether to laugh or cry: So I suggested that my MIL alternate a week at her own place and a week at our place. This way no one is getting to wound-up in her idiosyncrasies. After she was gone for 1 week she returns and states she will be here for 2 weeks then return to her own place for a week. Here I am in the middle of the second week and she is getting on my freakin' nerves. I can't enter the kitchen without her playing 20 questions. And each answer I provide sucks me deeper into her pathological filth.
She responds best when I'm an absolute prick. You know the authoritarian-type, "do this!" "do that!" kinda' authoritarian crap. But I'm not an authoritarian. I'm a live and let live kinda' guy. BUT: even when I'm an authoritarian, in mixed company, she starts with her women's liberation games.
Gees! I'm at a complete loss with this female!
By the way: in the 1 week that she was gone. I'm really getting to know, work with and cooperate with my wife. Which I find very healthy for us.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry: So I suggested that my MIL alternate a week at her own place and a week at our place. This way no one is getting to wound-up in her idiosyncrasies. After she was gone for 1 week she returns and states she will be here for 2 weeks then return to her own place for a week. Here I am in the middle of the second week and she is getting on my freakin' nerves. I can't enter the kitchen without her playing 20 questions. And each answer I provide sucks me deeper into her pathological filth.
She responds best when I'm an absolute prick. You know the authoritarian-type, "do this!" "do that!" kinda' authoritarian crap. But I'm not an authoritarian. I'm a live and let live kinda' guy. BUT: even when I'm an authoritarian, in mixed company, she starts with her women's liberation games.
Gees! I'm at a complete loss with this female!
By the way: in the 1 week that she was gone. I'm really getting to know, work with and cooperate with my wife. Which I find very healthy for us.
bottlebomber
Well-Known Member
mtg4772 said:
Make her leave, permanently. It's not a request, it's a command. This WILL destroy your marriage if you let it go unchecked. Why one earth would she even be there is she has her own place?
Hella_Sinful
Member
When it comes to in-laws, I am a royal prick. When they want to be decent, I am decent . . . when they want to be intrusive, I become very abrasive. They usually don't stay for long after that. My best suggestion is to let her come over, when she gets annoying, announce that you are going to go stay at her place while she stays at yours. Actually pack a bag, make a big deal about it. Let slip that you have invited your buddies over to her place for a keg party with dancers while the game is on . . . if you have any acting ability, she might leave before you do. Might be wise to let the wife in on it before you go through with it, the dancer thing might set her off, LOL!
Why the hell are you guys letting her stay with you if she has her own place? Is she having trouble at home?
If she was asking me all of these questions, I'd tell her to F herself (politely, first) and if she doesn't like your company she can get her sht and git!
There must be a bunch of little things you can do to upset her. Think about it. Does she have a favorite chair? Constantly put stuff on it when she is not sitting there. Favorite drink? Pour it out or doctor it with something nasty when she is not near it. Least favorite music? Your newest favorite music, played loud enough to fill the whole place.
And on and on...
If she was asking me all of these questions, I'd tell her to F herself (politely, first) and if she doesn't like your company she can get her sht and git!
There must be a bunch of little things you can do to upset her. Think about it. Does she have a favorite chair? Constantly put stuff on it when she is not sitting there. Favorite drink? Pour it out or doctor it with something nasty when she is not near it. Least favorite music? Your newest favorite music, played loud enough to fill the whole place.
And on and on...
Id say stay away from the passive aggressive route. Just be straightforward and sincere and tell them both that having the MIL there is driving you nuts, your marriage is better when she's not there, and she has to go. Be firm and send her packing.
He already did that. Then she went ahead and changed her plans to aggravate him more.
Bottlebomber is right. This WILL destroy your marriage.
She needs to understand that her being there is a serious problem.
MIL's common law husband back at her place is an absolute prick and when he gets drunk he is worse. Not physically but verbally and mentally abusive. My wife has this need to protect her mom. Which I'm ok with. But her mom, I'm starting to learn, brings a lot it on herself.
She has very little initiative to do anything, but as soon as you start doing someting she is right there, underfoot. It is the wierdest thing. My wife pays her mom to help, which apparently gives the MIL license to meddle in everything.
So the MIL will do things to help like pick up the kid from daycare. But the first time something goes wrong. Like losing the monthly calendar. Guess who is to blame? Me! So what do I do?! I took that job away from my MIL. Now I pick up my kid from daycare. and every month that calendar, along with any permission slip finds it way neatly oriented on the cork board for quick, easy reference for the entire month.
She has very little initiative to do anything, but as soon as you start doing someting she is right there, underfoot. It is the wierdest thing. My wife pays her mom to help, which apparently gives the MIL license to meddle in everything.
So the MIL will do things to help like pick up the kid from daycare. But the first time something goes wrong. Like losing the monthly calendar. Guess who is to blame? Me! So what do I do?! I took that job away from my MIL. Now I pick up my kid from daycare. and every month that calendar, along with any permission slip finds it way neatly oriented on the cork board for quick, easy reference for the entire month.
MIL is a filthy beast. Funniest story ever (I was fuming angry at the time), but incredibly funny now:
About 2 years ago the MIL took the wife's car and the wife had the MIL's car. I get a frantic call from my wife, "OMG! While I was driving the car on the freeway a mouse poked it's head out from behind the dashboard! I almost crashed and I was afraid the mouse was going to crawl up my pant-leg! Come fix this for me please!?"
So I leave work to go tend to this mouse. I kid you not: I was in the parking lot for at least 2 hours seperating half eaten cookies, half drank coke cans and other half eaten food items from toys and other crap that females buy and never use. Trash everywhere and non-trash items were in the trash recepticle. It was one huge clusterf*ck.
After hours of seperating crap from non-crap. I drive this car back to my employer's location. And sure enough while I was on the freeway the frickin' mouse pokes it's head out at me. This baby-mouse scared the begeezers outta' me! So I park inside the fence-line, windows down and went in to work. While inside the mouse must have decided to climb out the window since all the food and drink was now gone.
This is what I'm dealing with! It's incredible insanity.
About 2 years ago the MIL took the wife's car and the wife had the MIL's car. I get a frantic call from my wife, "OMG! While I was driving the car on the freeway a mouse poked it's head out from behind the dashboard! I almost crashed and I was afraid the mouse was going to crawl up my pant-leg! Come fix this for me please!?"
So I leave work to go tend to this mouse. I kid you not: I was in the parking lot for at least 2 hours seperating half eaten cookies, half drank coke cans and other half eaten food items from toys and other crap that females buy and never use. Trash everywhere and non-trash items were in the trash recepticle. It was one huge clusterf*ck.
After hours of seperating crap from non-crap. I drive this car back to my employer's location. And sure enough while I was on the freeway the frickin' mouse pokes it's head out at me. This baby-mouse scared the begeezers outta' me! So I park inside the fence-line, windows down and went in to work. While inside the mouse must have decided to climb out the window since all the food and drink was now gone.
This is what I'm dealing with! It's incredible insanity.
Oh and guess who got a new car soon after. The freakin' MIL!
aka: Woman Hitler.
The mouse car was a jalopy, and since my MIL still takes the kid to school I figured a safer and cleaner car was the right thing to do.
aka: Woman Hitler.
The mouse car was a jalopy, and since my MIL still takes the kid to school I figured a safer and cleaner car was the right thing to do.
There you go man. Get it all out
landshark
HMFIC
Um.... Serious. As BB said, this will destroy your marriage. You need to put the foot down and say no, enough is enough. No you live here, then there crap. It's out, that's final.
BTW, if it doesn't destroy your marriage, you will probably be in jail for murder would be my guess.
BTW, if it doesn't destroy your marriage, you will probably be in jail for murder would be my guess.
