MY LHBS sells silicone rubber o-ring gaskets alone... the same red/orange ones you find included in the no-weld bulkhead kits. I'm sure other places carry them as well. Not sure on the sizing, but they had two different sizes. Both had the same internal diameter (which fits a 1/2" pipe nipple perfectly), but the thickness differed. I used the really thick version. The only place I use the gasket is inside the tun. No need for one outside if you get a good seal. Matter of fact, IMO, putting one on the outside will only serve to disguise the fact that you don't have a good seal inside. And if you don't have a good seal inside, you risk liquid seeping in between the plastic layers.
So inside the cooler, I have a 1/2" SS nipple poking through, the gasket, a flat SS washer sized to fit the nipple ID precisely, and then a locknut. Not sure what the actual length of the nipple is, but it's the next size up from a 'close' fully threaded nipple (the non-threaded portion is approx 1/4"). The washer was found at Ace hardware, and it actually is just a hair too small to fit the thickest part of the nipple. I took a dremel and opened it up so it just barely fit. The idea is to have as small a gap as possible.
On the outside, I have 3 or 4 similiar washers (only not SS for cost savings), and then the ball valve. Once again, the ones I found were just a hair too small & I opened them up. I use multiple washers to get the offset I need for the lever so it could fully close w/out contacting the cooler body, and also to locate the nipple so on the inside of the tun, the gasket seals mainly against the non-threaded (center) portion. The OD of the washers is what will just barely fit inside the recess in my cooler (your cooler may vary... mines a rubbermaid 10g).
I have my tun & HLT built this way, and they're both rock solid. Don't leak a drop.
Sorry - a simple picture probably would have explained all this alot better. But I don't have a camera at the moment.
ETA: just for clarity, this is with the stock rubber gasket removed (and with it removed, you can see how liquid could seep into the cooler body if you don't get a good internal seal.