making hooch(jail wine?) please help

[chawn]

I would suggest that you add fruit to it like lemons or maybe some kool-aid to at least make it somewhat drinkable. Good luck!

 

[ChefRex]

ok bro, i will listen to you because u have been respectful to me, but assuming im an alcoholic was disrespectful, not no big deal though, i wasnt even saying what i said in an upset manner, thanks for your help though. ill be more respectful.

I'm a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings

 

[1977Brewer]

Make sure 20% of your fermentables come from ketchup or fruit cocktail cups, or you're out of style for "hooch".

 

[Chadwick]

This thread needs to close. We are clearly dealing with either a serious alcoholic that needs help or a child that shouldn't be communicating with us in the first place. There isn't any other rational option to explain this post.

This post has nothing to do with fine home brewing. It doesn't even scratch the surface of beginner home brewing. We have someone begging for information on sugar-alcohol conversion rates while fully admitting they can't afford cheap swill, even at Canadian prices. This tells me this person is either a serious alcoholic that can't keep a low paying job, or a child. Either way, we are obligated to kill this post and stop replying. What serious home brewer is trying to find details on fermenting pure sugar water and yeast?

 

[paperairplane]

Make sure 20% of your fermentables come from ketchup or fruit cocktail cups, or you're out of style for "hooch".

Yeah - you also need to ferment it in a plastic bag in the water tank of a toilet to get the appropriate "terroir"

 

[Qhrumphf]

This thread needs to close. We are clearly dealing with either a serious alcoholic that needs help or a child that shouldn't be communicating with us in the first place. There isn't any other rational option to explain this post.

This post has nothing to do with fine home brewing. It doesn't even scratch the surface of beginner home brewing. We have someone begging for information on sugar-alcohol conversion rates while fully admitting they can't afford cheap swill, even at Canadian prices. This tells me this person is either a serious alcoholic that can't keep a low paying job, or a child. Either way, we are obligated to kill this post and stop replying. What serious home brewer is trying to find details on fermenting pure sugar water and yeast?

Could also just be a troll.

 

[paperairplane]

"Moonshiners" Tuesdays at 9ET on Discovery!

I love these guys in the LHBS - I need 10# of malt and 4 packs of turbo yeast.

 

[1977Brewer]

This thread needs to close. We are clearly dealing with either a serious alcoholic that needs help or a child that shouldn't be communicating with us in the first place. There isn't any other rational option to explain this post.

This post has nothing to do with fine home brewing. It doesn't even scratch the surface of beginner home brewing. We have someone begging for information on sugar-alcohol conversion rates while fully admitting they can't afford cheap swill, even at Canadian prices. This tells me this person is either a serious alcoholic that can't keep a low paying job, or a child. Either way, we are obligated to kill this post and stop replying. What serious home brewer is trying to find details on fermenting pure sugar water and yeast?

If I thought for a moment that he'd be successful I wouldn't entertain this endeavor for one second. He's gonna get moldy sugar water before he gets anything drinkable.

 

[Qhrumphf]

"Moonshiners" Tuesdays at 9ET on Discovery!

I love these guys in the LHBS - I need 10# of malt and 4 packs of turbo yeast.

My LHBS now no longer leaves the corn and rye out in the open, and doesn't advertise it either. You have to ask for it. And if you try to buy more than a pound or so, and they don't know you, they'll refuse you service. Same goes for the big carboys.

Apparently it's that much of a problem.

 

[douglasbarbin]

OP: are you such a low-functioning alcoholic that you can't afford Cisco wine, Thunderbird, MD 20/20, Night Train, Wild Irish Rose, etc.?

2nd question: do you live a) in a cardboard box, b) with your parents, or c) under the freeway?

 

[1977Brewer]

My LHBS now no longer leaves the corn and rye out in the open, and doesn't advertise it either. You have to ask for it. And if you try to buy more than a pound or so, and they don't know you, they'll refuse you service. Same goes for the big carboys.

Apparently it's that much of a problem.

For real though.

 

[Beginner_at_Work]

This thread needs to close. We are clearly dealing with either a serious alcoholic that needs help or a child that shouldn't be communicating with us in the first place. There isn't any other rational option to explain this post.

This post has nothing to do with fine home brewing. It doesn't even scratch the surface of beginner home brewing. We have someone begging for information on sugar-alcohol conversion rates while fully admitting they can't afford cheap swill, even at Canadian prices. This tells me this person is either a serious alcoholic that can't keep a low paying job, or a child. Either way, we are obligated to kill this post and stop replying. What serious home brewer is trying to find details on fermenting pure sugar water and yeast?

there is nothing cheap in bc liquor stores. this way im doing it saves me money. i dont know what u are saying, u probably dont live in BC canada, no liquor here is cheap. ive been through the stores its all expensive

 

[ChefRex]

OP: are you such a low-functioning alcoholic that you can't afford Cisco wine, Thunderbird, MD 20/20, Night Train, Wild Irish Rose, etc.?

2nd question: do you live a) in a cardboard box, b) with your parents, or c) under the freeway?

No reason to be hurtful.

 

[douglasbarbin]

No reason to be hurtful.

What? Those are legitimate questions

 

[Beginner_at_Work]

This thread needs to close. We are clearly dealing with either a serious alcoholic that needs help or a child that shouldn't be communicating with us in the first place. There isn't any other rational option to explain this post.

This post has nothing to do with fine home brewing. It doesn't even scratch the surface of beginner home brewing. We have someone begging for information on sugar-alcohol conversion rates while fully admitting they can't afford cheap swill, even at Canadian prices. This tells me this person is either a serious alcoholic that can't keep a low paying job, or a child. Either way, we are obligated to kill this post and stop replying. What serious home brewer is trying to find details on fermenting pure sugar water and yeast?

bro im just learning, lol give me a break. ill go into the more serious homebrewing stuff when i get this done first. i just trying to learn how to ferment something simple, i cant just jump into the big boy stuff until i get the basics mastered first.

 

[paperairplane]

I've actually been in the LHBS and the only base grain they had was 6 row "Distillers Malt"...

 

[jsprinceiii]

OP: are you such a low-functioning alcoholic that you can't afford Cisco wine, Thunderbird, MD 20/20, Night Train, Wild Irish Rose, etc.?

2nd question: do you live a) in a cardboard box, b) with your parents, or c) under the freeway?

Way, way off topic..
I think we should stop posting to this thread.. It seams to have ended a while
back, and is now just useless bantering.

 

[ChefRex]

bro im just learning, lol give me a break. ill go into the more serious homebrewing stuff when i get this done first. i just trying to learn how to ferment something simple, i cant just jump into the big boy stuff until i get the basics mastered first.

If you're serious, apple juice, sugar, yeast and control the temperature.

 

[Beginner_at_Work]

OP: are you such a low-functioning alcoholic that you can't afford Cisco wine, Thunderbird, MD 20/20, Night Train, Wild Irish Rose, etc.?

2nd question: do you live a) in a cardboard box, b) with your parents, or c) under the freeway?

everything u mentioned they dont sell in bc liquor stores, u live in america so u have that privilege, but here everything in the liquor is expensive and u gonna be taking cash out your wallet.

 

[Qhrumphf]

If you're serious, apple juice, sugar, yeast and control the temperature.

You know what, I don't think he's underage, nor an alcoholic. I think he's a troll.

No one in their right mind would still be on this thread pushing this idea. Anyone who wasn't deliberately trying to get a rise out of people would have already FO'ed.

 

[1977Brewer]

bro im just learning, lol give me a break. ill go into the more serious homebrewing stuff when i get this done first. i just trying to learn how to ferment something simple, i cant just jump into the big boy stuff until i get the basics mastered first.

I made ten gallons of all grain beer my first shot out of the gate. That will teach you more about brewing than sugar water and yeast will.

 

[Beginner_at_Work]

If you're serious, apple juice, sugar, yeast and control the temperature.

I am being serious bro, and thanks for helping me. and again i apologize to anyone who was offended by me saying "mind your damn business if u aint gonna answer my questions". i didnt mean no harm by that, but i apologize. from the heart

 

[paperairplane]

bro im just learning, lol give me a break. ill go into the more serious homebrewing stuff when i get this done first. i just trying to learn how to ferment something simple, i cant just jump into the big boy stuff until i get the basics mastered first.

Get a jug of juice - apple, orange, grape - whatever. Dump some bread yeast in and shake it up. Put a balloon over the top. Give it a week or two.

Then pour it down the drain, cause it's gonna be disgusting.

Real brewing / wine making is about having a very careful and very precise process. It is about controlling an environment with quality ingredients and the focus being excellent product. I have invested thousands of dollars and hundreds and hundreds of hours over the last 2 years learning to make beer. That's not counting hours and hours of research and reading about brewing.

No one here is that interested in telling you how to make dog**** hooch - we have too much invested into a legitimate hobby.

Ask anyone here why they started brewing - to get Effed Up is not going to be a common answer.

 

[Beginner_at_Work]

You know what, I don't think he's underage, nor an alcoholic. I think he's a troll.

No one in their right mind would still be on this thread pushing this idea. Anyone who wasn't deliberately trying to get a rise out of people would have already FO'ed.

no im dead serious, i simply looked up how to make wine and i saw a video on hooch now im coming here to learn. i apologize to u for what i said though, but u shouldnt have assumed im an alcoholic. im only learning or trying to

 

[Beginner_at_Work]

Get a jug of juice - apple, orange, grape - whatever. Dump some bread yeast in and shake it up. Put a balloon over the top. Give it a week or two.

Then pour it down the drain, cause it's gonna be disgusting.

Real brewing / wine making is about having a very careful and very precise process. It is about controlling an environment with quality ingredients and the focus being excellent product. I have invested thousands of dollars and hundreds and hundreds of hours over the last 2 years learning to make beer. That's not counting hours and hours of research and reading about brewing.

No one here is that interested in telling you how to make dog**** hooch - we have too much invested into a legitimate hobby.

Ask anyone here why they started brewing - to get Effed Up is not going to be a common answer.

lmao, im not trying to get effed up, im really trying to learn how the process works, this is more of a beginner stage for me..... and people in the comments have already helped me out a lot so i appreciate them for that. but again im not doing this to get effed up, i only drink to relax, ive never been drunk and never plan to. from the heart. all respect to everyone on here

 

[Beginner_at_Work]

Get a jug of juice - apple, orange, grape - whatever. Dump some bread yeast in and shake it up. Put a balloon over the top. Give it a week or two.

Then pour it down the drain, cause it's gonna be disgusting.

Real brewing / wine making is about having a very careful and very precise process. It is about controlling an environment with quality ingredients and the focus being excellent product. I have invested thousands of dollars and hundreds and hundreds of hours over the last 2 years learning to make beer. That's not counting hours and hours of research and reading about brewing.

No one here is that interested in telling you how to make dog**** hooch - we have too much invested into a legitimate hobby.

Ask anyone here why they started brewing - to get Effed Up is not going to be a common answer.

i doubt it would be anymore disgusting than vodka or rum though, and i drink those by itself. its pretty disgusting already

 

[Gentlemans_Ale]

View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1424668312.093402.jpg

 

[Beginner_at_Work]

View attachment 258730

lmao quit it haha

 

[passedpawn]

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/faq.php?faq=vb3_board_faq#faq_rules_regulations

Sorry, we do have a policy of not allowing discussions of hooch to continue. Please refer to Rule 16 at the above link. Our forum, and our hobby, is not based on making the cheapest drink that will get you plastered. It's about making really good beer that rivals the best you can buy. And then getting plastered with it.

OK, just kidding about that last part. But really, we're all about the flavor here.