Love Golf?

[applescrap]

I was working as a course marshal (Shalimar Pointe, in the Florida panhandle) when I saw a guy go down, hit by a ball (par 3, wild shot), hit in the knee. I asked his playing partner if I should call for a doctor. Turned out he was a doctor. Luckily it wasn't serious.

Reminded me of a favorite cartoon. A guy is lying by the green, having some kind of medical emergency. The caption has one guy saying "it's OK. There is a doctor three holes back and the players in front of him are going to let him play through".

Haha, I have a few golf jokes. They arent very good and are facetious obviously so no harm intended.

This guy teed off and hit his wife. It was horrible. The cops interviewed him and said what happened. He said, I told you what happened. I teed off and she accidentally walked in front, it was horrible. Um, we get that sir, but what was the second mark. Oh, that was my muligan.

I dont know why. The golf jokes always have a wife in them.

 

[Kee]

Haha, I have a few golf jokes. They arent very good and are facetious obviously so no harm intended.

This guy teed off and hit his wife. It was horrible. The cops interviewed him and said what happened. He said, I told you what happened. I teed off and she accidentally walked in front, it was horrible. Um, we get that sir, but what was the second mark. Oh, that was my muligan.

I dont know why. The golf jokes always have a wife in them.

A foursome was playing one Sunday morning (three friends and one stranger that was put into the group). A funeral procession passed by. One of them paused, took off his cap, and waited for the procession to pass. The stranger asked "is your friend always that polite when a funeral procession passes?".

"No, no. But that was his wife".

 

[ThirstyPawsHB]

Haven't read the story, just the headline. A guess would be a shank.

I've hit two people with golf balls during my golfing career. Both times they were somewhere I asked them not to be. Both times they said "go ahead and hit, you hit the ball straight every time". After the second time I will not hit unless the forward person is watching me swing.

They said slice...not shank. Either way I NEVER park a cart in front of the tee box.

Monday is golf day...

 

[MaxStout]

Friday golf day looks kind of fun, too.

 

[mullet6577]

Took my daughter out to try to play while on vacation. She took a few lessons about 11/12 years ago, it showed. She got real frustrated, didn't want to listen to anything I tried to offer (typical 18 year old I suppose), and just overall made for a not so fun 9 holes played.

Plus, it was quite hot and humid, shirt and shorts were soaked when we were done.

Can't beat the view though (that's the 18th fairway and green from the bar/restaurant)

 

[ThirstyPawsHB]

FINALLY! Shot a 99 but happy giving the fact it's my 2nd round of the year. Lost only 1 ball. Short game was so-so as expected.

 

[passedpawn]

FINALLY! Shot a 99 but happy giving the fact it's my 2nd round of the year. Lost only 1 ball. Short game was so-so as expected.View attachment 636790

Haha, nice job. I hit another 105 on Saturday. Gah. My son hit a 78. What a turd.

 

[ThirstyPawsHB]

Haha, nice job. I hit another 105 on Saturday. Gah. My son hit a 78. What a turd.

haha..little sh!t! Or a proud dad??

 

[passedpawn]

haha..little sh!t! Or a proud dad??

Yes

 

[applescrap]

Took my daughter out to try to play while on vacation. She took a few lessons about 11/12 years ago, it showed. She got real frustrated, didn't want to listen to anything I tried to offer (typical 18 year old I suppose), and just overall made for a not so fun 9 holes played.

Plus, it was quite hot and humid, shirt and shorts were soaked when we were done.

Can't beat the view though (that's the 18th fairway and green from the bar/restaurant)View attachment 636738

Gosh I love a course like that. Where is that?

 

[mullet6577]

Gosh I love a course like that. Where is that?

Dauphin Island, AL

Course and complex are called Isle Dauphine. It's not a premier course by any means but considering it's basically built on a beach, the little amount of grass they manage to grow and maintain is kind of impressive.

It's definitely vacation golf for me. No scores, gimme putts for close enough, and lots of beer.

 

[SailorJerry]

Thanks for @mullet6577 bringing me over here! It's golf night here tonight, with a free keg thanks to a buddies hole-in-one earlier this year! Sounding like our game for Men's night tonight is 2 man best ball, submitting as many rounds as you can get in before the sun disappears, which should make for an eventful evening.

 

[hopkincr]

Indian Creek in Omaha.

 

[murphyslaw]

1st off that's absolutely aweful obviously but why was the cart parked that far in front of the tee box? Sliced it and still hit her? I'd probably put a gun to my head..

She was probably playing the up tees.

 

[ThirstyPawsHB]

Indian Creek in Omaha.
View attachment 637115

Miss Nebraska. Since the grandparents all passed haven't been back. Used to take my boys to visit. We'd play several course around Lincoln and also down in Hebron with the cousins. Our favorite tho, was Hidden Valley east Lincoln. GBR!

 

[applescrap]

Ugh, no game again. Played yesterday and just was off. Need to iron out some kinks.

 

[SailorJerry]

Played last night with @brandtrepair on our local 9 hole.
First 4 was best ball, last 5 was best shot. We shot a 37. Two under playing our own balls, 3 over playing our best shot. Oofta.

 

[passedpawn]

Hit 18 this morning. Played pretty well, but did not keep score. Good day out there. We finished in under 3 hours, full size course. That's a record for me I think.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Love playing at a good pace. Got teamed up with a couple of good players last weekend. The only problem was slow members decided to cut in front of our tee time so they could get in front of us and they were sloooooow right of the first tee box. Never let us okay thru and of course they were playing from the back tees.

By the 10th we're like they have to let us play thru. We come off the tee and there they are. One duffed it to the white tees and the other into the woods. Aaand the women haven't even teed off. To be honest the women were way better than the men.

I blame them for what happened to my tee shot on the 10th par 5. Scorching driver went 250yds and then decided to hook into a condo deck. Yelled fore so I wouldnt kill the owner if there. Luckily found it but from there went bogie-birdie-birdie-birdie-bogie-bogie with another birdie somewhere after that. It was psychotic golf. I like the course tho. It was hot & humid tho even close to the ocean

 

[applescrap]

Played last night with @brandtrepair on our local 9 hole.
First 4 was best ball, last 5 was best shot. We shot a 37. Two under playing our own balls, 3 over playing our best shot. Oofta.

Yeah, no kidding. Two gross pars and two gross birds on four holes best ball is playing good! 5 strokes worse playing scramble, best shot, shows how good that was. Awesome.

 

[passedpawn]

Love playing at a good pace. Got teamed up with a couple of good players last weekend. The only problem was slow members decided to cut in front of our tee time so they could get in front of us and they were sloooooow right of the first tee box. Never let us okay thru and of course they were playing from the back tees.

That looks like a really nice course.

 

[applescrap]

Hit 18 this morning. Played pretty well, but did not keep score. Good day out there. We finished in under 3 hours, full size course. That's a record for me I think.

Sounds great, it's been 5 hour rounds all summer here.

 

[applescrap]

Love playing at a good pace. Got teamed up with a couple of good players last weekend. The only problem was slow members decided to cut in front of our tee time so they could get in front of us and they were sloooooow right of the first tee box. Never let us okay thru and of course they were playing from the back tees.

By the 10th we're like they have to let us play thru. We come off the tee and there they are. One duffed it to the white tees and the other into the woods. Aaand the women haven't even teed off. To be honest the women were way better than the men.

I blame them for what happened to my tee shot on the 10th par 5. Scorching driver went 250yds and then decided to hook into a condo deck. Yelled fore so I wouldnt kill the owner if there. Luckily found it but from there went bogie-birdie-birdie-birdie-bogie-bogie with another birdie somewhere after that. It was psychotic golf. I like the course tho. It was hot & humid tho even close to the oceanView attachment 638254View attachment 638255View attachment 638256

Slow play, dang. That course look super nice. Private? At least 4 birds I counted on a course like that, awesome.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Slow play, dang. That course look super nice. Private? At least 4 birds I counted on a course like that, awesome.

I'm not usually a birdie guy. Even on a good day it's just a bunch of pars with no birdies and a couple of bogies.

I haven't been hitting the range due to the heat and wasn't hitting the ball well except for hitting the ball first. Lots of heavy divots (could have been from the heat) I actually had a 4 birdies on a 9 the other week. Maybe the range is overrated.

Yes. The club is private but I get reciprocals. So I feel I'm a guess and don't want to make a scene by pushing the clubs members.

Good food too at 50% off for my reciprocal so heading to the close oceanfront and great restaurants are hard to stray from

 

[benco]

I played my private course yesterday. Cart path only, a solid 5 hour round, I was wore out, very hot and humid. I played well for this course, which is tough. Shot a 91 had several 3 putts.

 

[applescrap]

Bro in law invites me to play with this kid he likes. Couldn't stop talking about him, what a great guy blah blah. I liked him but couldn't stand playing with him. I dont know how it came up but I mentioned that I hadn't shot above an 84 on that course and he starts challenging me or whatever you want to call it. It's like you don't even know me you effin ******.

Then he wants to play for money and gets overly competitive. I start bogey double bogey and thought s..t am I going to shoot a 90 with this punk no less. I ended 10 over after starting 4 over and 4 of that were two more doubles. Anyways since I only played those first 3 bad and two more after that despite beating me a few strokes I took everyone's money including his.

He was slow. And I mean slow. Then he starts bitching that we are behind and telling us all to hurry up. I was lined up about to stroke a putt and he starts asking what I am laying. I dont even think that way, I said I am putting for bird. Then with four skins,he throws up all over himself and I play the hole great. He says, what a disgraceful way to win four skins. I looked at him and said, you mean, what a disgraceful way to lose four skins. I dont know what my buddy sees in this guy. Good player sure, but what an azz.

But wait there is more. He gives all these speeches about pars and birds must be putt and that the rules are rules, blah blah blah. Then scolds me for writing down a double for a kid who was out of the hole. So next thing I know he hits a bad chip and is dropping second practice shots. The second time he does it, I was like hey mr rules man, that's 2 stroke penalty each time if it dq, can't remember. Then the coup de grasse. He loses a ball and says or wants and took free relief claiming it should have been here. Srsly, you are going to get on everyone,mr rules official and then demand a free drop and take practice strokes on the course. I told him that why I dont go around giving rules speeches to everyone. Well at least I got the 35 dollars

 

[passedpawn]

hahahaha. It's one of the reasons not to play for money. I do play skins sometimes (no $$) with a buddy. Buddy loses balls right in the fairway and doesn't take the penalty (I don't blame him for being pizzed when they plug into the wet grass and get lost). But you lose a ball, you take a penalty, regardless.

 

[mongoose33]

Speaking of slow play, a friend (who has since passed) was THE slowest golfer ever once he got to his ball. Not only the diddling around with club selection and so on, but once he addressed the ball, he'd stand over it literally--and I timed it so this is no bull--for 30 seconds before he'd pull the trigger. It was excruciating. What is always a mystery to me is when hacker-types act like Jack Nicklaus, doing all this different pre-shot BS, only to hit another lousy shot. They'd be better off to just go up and hit the darned thing.

******

I've returned to golf this year after a 5-year hiatus related to back surgery and back issues. I'd done a lot of core stuff to try to manage the pain, realized things had gotten a lot better, and decided to try golfing again.

I've come back about 90 percent of the way to where I was. But one thing keeps killing me: I can't break 80. Shot 80 last Sunday; shot 80 on Tuesday.

All the shots are there. The short game has returned, and I figured out I was gripping the club too tightly, inhibiting release. Loosened that up, and my iron distances are the same they used to be, and the driver picked up 25 yards.

Each time I seem to have this stretch of 3-4 holes over which I'm something like 5 or 6 over. That's mental, and the good thing about that is the mental game is the most readily fixed. I just need to do it.

 

[ThirstyPawsHB]

@applescrap sorry about that round. I feel for yeah. Got tied up with a guy like that once. Flat out out said I'm good alone..BYE!

 

[applescrap]

@applescrap sorry about that round. I feel for yeah. Got tied up with a guy like that once. Flat out out said I'm good alone..BYE!

Thanks bro. Yeah, I still had a good time, taking the money, I was in hog heaven. Plus, the drinking. I see it all. I played multiple times a week for years as a single and have been paired up with all sorts. Lmao, I have totally left people. Just kept playing on. Sorry guys, Cool Nebraska story all of a sudden.

So I practiced at this course, kinda dumpy older, just bought by developers. Anyways I practiced there so much that even when I stopped paying they still thought I was a member. This big African American guy and i always ended up practicing together. We never talked to much or anything but I just loved his energy and being around him. One night we were alone out there. Maybe raining, no one but the die hard type and we start talking.

Right away realized he was deaf or at least somewhat hard of hearing. And the gauldet (iirc) sweatshirt made sense. That is a famous college for deaf students. I speak plenty of sign (another story) and we start talking. I can smell toughness so I asked hey did you play football. He signed yes. He always wore a husker visor. I said did you play there (thinking damn). He signed yes. I said were you any good and he signed yes with an innocent smile. We talked chipping and he helped me with mine. Said goodbye as usual and packed up our bags in our humble cars.

I couldn't wait to try and figure out who this great acquaintance Kenny was. Boy was he good, Kenny Walker was so good that his senior final game at Nebraska the crowd stood up and cheered for him in sign language. He is so talented that he can read lips in the huddle and is one of the only linebacker play callers to ever do so. Man I would love to hang out with him. Sorry for the story but thinking who I have been paired with brought it on.