Losing a beer friend

[apophistoledo]

I've got a guy I know, calling him a friend is questionable after this, who tries so hard to sound well versed in beer and will shout you down if you disagree with him. Well tonight I worked him into a corner on a subject and he saw it coming. His response was to go personal against me and my brews.

Now mind you his top 3 beers are Yuengling, Elliot Ness by Great Lakes, and the 120 minute IPA from Dogfish (which I learned tonight he has never actually drunk).

What pissed me off tonight:
1. He insists all lagers are crap, regardless of brewer. And yes, I am serious in saying he denies Yuengling is a lager.
2. "Fruit should never be a part of a beer for any reason." While drinkjng a Stone Brewery chocolate orange stout.
3. Insisting only Budweiser products use rice or rice products in their brewing.
4. Saying nothing can make a Bud Light taste good, while working on your third one that I had adddd a hop pellet to for learning about hop flavors and then arguing that I was lying about it.
5. Getting cornered in the argument, saying I suck as a brewer, then as we are leaving asking if I could brew up that "special batch" for him again.
6. All beers in his life must be compared to Great Lakes brewery beers, and I swear its because its the only brewery he has ever visited.

He comes across as one of those people that wants to look like they are hip on beer but when pressed have no real understanding or concept. Its tiring after a while. I like most types of beer, and can at least respect a well done one in a style I don't prefer. For him its too black and white.

 

[Cyclman]

Nobody needs crappy people in their lives. We get enough of that from family, who is harder to avoid.

 

[Airplanedoc]

You should unfriend him on facebook, that will teach him.

Seriously, I would not be having beer related conversations with this guy.

 

[passedpawn]

I've got a guy I know, calling him a friend is questionable after this, who tries so hard to sound well versed in beer and will shout you down if you disagree with him. Well tonight I worked him into a corner on a subject and he saw it coming. His response was to go personal against me and my brews..

Do you feel better getting that out?

Not everyone will feel the same as you re: all beers. In fact, maybe not all people agree with you on anything.

If you can't allow people to have their own opinion, regardless of how offensive it is to you, maybe you shouldn't go out as much. I don't for this reason.

 

[ericbw]

You seriously had this discussion? What?

 

[Hello]

Like @passedpawn says, not everyone is going to agree with you and who cares? So your friend says you suck as a brewer? Awesome, cut off his line to your home brew. Is he a good and true friend otherwise? Then don't let something like beer tastes get in the way. I don't love lagers but I'll drink any lager given to me once and if it is home brew, I'll absolutely drink it. He is pompous or sounds that way based on your side of the story, but maybe you are too in his eyes. Again, if he's a good true friend then don't turn your back over this childish crap. I've lost actual friends who were amazing. If I could have controlled it then I would have.

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

I've known multiple people like this.

The easiest thing is to just roll your eyes and let him sound foolish. The more fun thing is to make him look foolish in front of others for being a moron.

Which way to go is up to you.

 

[GrogNerd]

he denies Yuengling is a lager.

is the font not big enough for him to notice?

 

[JonM]

It takes two to tango, dude. If this guy is a dick, why are you trying to argue him into a corner? Nothing good comes from that. Don't let something as little as this get under your skin.

 

[apophistoledo]

It was one of those discussions you regret getting into. Yeah, ranting about it felt good.

The Yuengling label says it all.

Sometimes I wonder why people watch television, real life gives me plenty moments where I think to myself "you can't make this sh*t up"

 

[b-boy]

OK - put this in perspective.

Will this argument have any impact on your life in 5 years? Probably not, so blow it off and move on.

How many 'beers in' were you guys before the blowup?

 

[JonM]

Post the dumb things he says here and forget about it.

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/funny-things-youve-overheard-about-beer-346883/

 

[Alpotun]

If he's a good friend otherwise and wasn't trashing your mother then just look past it.
The older you get, the fewer real friends you'll realize you've had and salvaging what you can will have mattered.

 

[bobeer]

If he's a good friend otherwise and wasn't trashing your mother then just look past it.
The older you get, the fewer real friends you'll realize you've had and salvaging what you can will have mattered.

This is so true. I'm 32 and I can say I've lost 80% of the "friends" I used to have when I was younger. Either we just lost touch or someone got screwed over at some point and the friendship ended. If they're a good friend learn from it and be better friends for it. If you're not really all that fond of the person then move on and forget about them. Life is too short to be around crappy people. Life is also too short to let a dumb argument ruin a good friendship. It's just beer!

 

[Homercidal]

Ridiculous!


Except the no fruit in beer part. That part is true.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

The guy did go over the line in knocking the OPs beer though. Good-natured ribbing, sure, but this guy didnt have any intellectual ammunition on the topic so he resorted to attack. Thats not ok.

Further, he's a poopy head.

 

[GarageDweller]

You should go on the internet and tell on him.

 

[LandoLincoln]

I personally never let anyone's opinions or comments about my beers insult me. I know how good they are and how not good they are. My brew buddies and I rib each other over our beers and we know we're just busting each others chops.

It sounds like you need to take this guy a lot less seriously, especially when it comes to beer. Eventually he'll take himself less seriously too.

 

[GHBWNY]

I was in a specialty-craft business for 21 years where occasionally I would run into someone who acted like they "knew more than I did" about what I did. I'm no Dr. Phil, but like those people I would encounter, my guess is your "friend" really admires what you do and wants to learn more about it, but may feel a little intimidated and doesn't want to expose his inadequacies. That's normal. I'll bet he doesn't ask many questions except for the purpose of arguing. Maybe it's his way of defending his lack of knowledge.

Be that as it may, I found that arguing never accomplished anything. Instead, educate. And be willing to be vulnerable. While he learns about brewing, he'll also discover you don't know everything and that you sometimes make mistakes. Hopefully, this will build his trust in you and if and when he trusts you enough, he'll drop his defensive posture and chances are you'll end up with a great friendship. I figure your friendship is worth keeping, or you wouldn't have vented about it.

 

[ericbw]

The guy did go over the line in knocking the OPs beer though. Good-natured ribbing, sure, but this guy didnt have any intellectual ammunition on the topic so he resorted to attack. Thats not ok.



Further, he's a poopy head.

The OP put a hop pellet in a Bud to prove some kind of point. I think he opened himself up to ridicule at that point.

And his friend might be tired of these kinds of lessons about beer.

 

[Hamaki]

The OP put a hop pellet in a Bud to prove some kind of point. I think he opened himself up to ridicule at that point.

And his friend might be tired of these kinds of lessons about beer.

I understood that the friend was on his third pelleted bud but didn't know they had been modified, so argued about it. Not sure if he'd noticed a difference in flavor or aroma before that, though.

Immediately after a run in like this I focus on everything the other jerk said or did. Later, after I cool down, I tend to dwell more on how I contributed to the problem. Seems more often than not I find at least 50% of the fault on my end.

It's good to have somewhere you can vent when you need to. Here is usually safe as long as you are ready for some feedback.