Is this wrong? My wife got mad at me..

[mrk305]

Is this wrong? My wife got mad at me because I got mad at my mother in law. After a couple days of fuming about it, she left. She said all I do is brew beer, drink beer and read about making beer on HBT. She grabbed some clothes and and left and went to her mom's and has been there ever since. I figured since I had the house to myself, I would bottle two batches and brew a double batch. Last weekend was my first double header! Is that wrong?

 

[chillHayze]

None of us can judge either you or your wife from a short paragraph. The truth seems to be that women overreact (to just about everything) and men are insensitive (to just about everything). Even with that, we still choose to spend a lifetime together. Wierd.

 

[kebrown]

How did the double batch turn out?

 

[Hopleaf]

Well, it kind of reinforces her argument but I can see myself doing it.

 

[DeathBrewer]

depends why you were mad at your MIL and whether it was unreasonable, i guess. i have yet to meet the chick i can spend a lifetime with

 

[Go Gators]

I wouldn't say wrong, but if you really love her you will need to patch things up at some point. And from my experience this means saying that you were in the wrong... women are crazy. Good luck

 

[Fingers]

Well, she IS getting in the way of brewing... and now that's she's gone.....


Just saying.


But really you kind of should go after her. Don't mention the brew.

 

[Blender]

Well, she IS getting in the way of brewing... and now that's she's gone.....


Just saying.


But really you kind of should go after her. Don't mention the brew.

Cracked me up there Fingers.

Seriously,you might try doing stuff together instead of beer all the time.

 

[Brewing Clamper]

"Comeback baby, I made a special beer just for you!"

Ok, seriously, I hate to be that person to say it but it works for me: Talk! Communicate. SWMBOs fly off the handle every now and then and it's usually not about what they say it is about, it's usually a build up of stuff that went un-addressed. If it's really about the brewing, chances are this isn't the first time it came up and maybe you're just no hearing it... hell I wouldn't want to hear it either... Either way, good luck dude...

 

[MULE]

Hate to say it but it sounds like the two of you need a date night. I don't know your situation, just saying.

You can replace brewing with any other passion/hobbie and the SWMBO's will react the same if that's all you care/talk about. Sounds like she wants to be priority one.... the whole MIL thing is just the straw IMHO.

Not trying to be a d1ck, I am just sayin.

 

[Baldy_Beer_Brewery]

Last weekend was my first double header! Is that wrong?

Yes. You could have gone to a brew pub too.

 

[BigKahuna]

Is this wrong? She said all I do is brew beer, drink beer and read about making beer on HBT.

Your SWMBO...may know my SWMBO.

I feel for ya man.

 

[Laurel]

Try to get her involved? If she doesn't like beer, make wine for her. It's a small price to pay to spend time with the one you love, cooked meals and regular...uh..conversations.

 

[RICLARK]

Try to get her involved? If she doesn't like beer, make wine for her. It's a small price to pay to spend time with the one you love, cooked meals and regular...uh..conversations.

+1 on getting her involved. Have you offered to include her? my Swmbo doesn't like beer but she likes to hang out and help.

 

[BrewBob]

None of us can judge either you or your wife from a short paragraph. The truth seems to be that women overreact (to just about everything) and men are insensitive (to just about everything). Even with that, we still choose to spend a lifetime together. Wierd.

Methinks it's the sex. clouds the mind

 

[Danek]

Can't you tell her to RDWHAHB?

 

[Melana]

Try to get her involved? If she doesn't like beer, make wine for her. It's a small price to pay to spend time with the one you love, cooked meals and regular...uh..conversations.

+1

If she's telling you that you are spending more time with the beer than with her maybe spend some time with her? Bring her something that she likes (just because) and show her some love.

 

[SixFoFalcon]

Keep brewing non-stop 'til she comes back. Then you'll have a nice big stock-pile of beer going when she gets back, and you'll be able to lay low and get some sex for a few weeks 'til you start brewing again.

Now it would be AWESOME if she happened to be on the rag right now, too. You could make it a permanent arrangement. She goes to her mother whenever she's riding the tide, you get to brew all you want and not hear her bitching about either her hormonal issues or your "vile habit", and when she gets back you have both taken care of those things that tend to drive you apart at times.

BTW, I'm just kidding (sort of.)

 

[Yooper]

women are crazy. Good luck

Oh, really? Hmmmmm.

I'm so glad that we don't have in-laws. Well, my dad is still alive but 800 miles away. I think a mother in law would be a real pain to have to deal with!

Brewing is my obsession, but so is fishing. We don't brew together, but we do fish together. I personally LIKE having my own stuff to do alone.

I guess I'm not helping. I'll shut up now.

 

[DeathBrewer]

lol, yooper. i needz to find a girl like you.

 

[brauhaus]

well, i don't know the situation and i don't know you, but i'd try to involve her in your brewing, or just limit it to weekends or something, give her some time to herself to do what she wants...

i think she should be supportive if you have a passion for something...

anyway, you guys should have a night out to yourselves, no brew, no internet, a night where you guys sit and talk about something other than beer... take her out, go to the movies or cook her a nice meal...

get some flowers, call her, tell her your sorry and make sure to pay a little extra attention to her.

 

[mrk305]

I had told my wife that we could paint the kitchen in a couple weeks when I had the weekend off. I came home from work Saturday around 5 o'clock and saw my MIL's van in the driveway. wtf? Surprise!

They had completely emptied the pantry and all the kitchen cabinets and were finishing the process of removing all 34 cabinet doors and drawers. The house was a complete clusterf*ck! There was stuff everywhere to the point that you couldn't even get out of the kitchen to get to the rest of the house without going outside and coming back in the front door. My dumb*ss FIL was on a ladder using the wrong size screwdriver and a hammer to finish stripping out all the hinge hardware. They had eaten lunch, and the dirty dishes were all over the kitchen counter and the stove and two of my tool boxes were in the kitchen sink! They had not put down any drop cloths either.

I lost my temper. Very rare. I had to leave for a few minutes to calm down. I went to the store and bought stuff to grill hamburgers for every body. They ate and then they left. It took several days to finish and repack everything. My wife went to my MIL's one night after work and she talked her into leaving me because I am an A*hole.

She just now called me while I was typing this. Her cousin got shot. Real sad to hear that, but at least she called me. I think she is calming down.

 

[Yooper]

Her cousin got shot? OMG- is he/she going to be alright?

Of course she called you- she loves you and you are her support. She'll get over this- really. In-laws DO cause some problems because they love her, and their loyalty is to her. And you got mad at them- so she got mad at you.

Tell her you're sorry for losing your temper, and that you'll try to be more understanding of her parents. After all, they were trying to "help" you both. I promise that will go a long way to fixing things. You actually have to say something like that, though, to make it work. something like, "I shouldn't have been so quick to lose my temper and it was so NICE they were willing to help!". You have to try it with a straight face, though, or it won't work.

 

[Nurmey]

Let me see if I get this. Her dad comes over to help you and your wife fix up your home. You feel inconvenienced, get mad, yell and storm out. Her folks think that maybe she shouldn't be with you. Is that what you're saying happened?

 

[mrk305]

Thats the short version. I got mad because of the way they were doing it and with no warning or planning.

 

[mrk305]

Not that it matters, but stepdad. I have helped them move before. They work like idiots. Stack up bunches of heavy boxes in front of a door and then you can't open the door. Put all the dresser drawers where the dresser is going to go, and I am carrying the dresser in. Got the big UHaul truck stuck in the same mud hole twice trying to park close to the door. Two wrecker bills.

I didn't yell and storm out. I said some mean stuff though. Then I went to the store to get stuff to grill out. We all had dinner together and then the inlaws left.

 

[Nurmey]

Just trying to give you a little of her perspective. She probably thought that she was doing something nice for you by getting help so your reaction may have hurt her a lot.

 

[Baldy_Beer_Brewery]

I can see getting upset in that situation. I've been in that situation. Help is great if it is help, but if it makes it worse...

The thing with my mother-in-law is she used to live 1500 miles away. When she and her husband would come to visit, I thought about murder daily. Now she lives here in the same town and I swear I see less of her now than I did then.

 

[brauhaus]

hey man, we all go through crap like this, i'd be in the same boat b/c I'm very particular about planning and how my things are kept.... i always make a plan and when people jump into sh!t without thinking it through it really drives me mad.

i don't think you did anything wrong, but i'm sure your in-laws are going to paint you like a mad man and try to get your wife against you. Just keep the communication going and see if you all can work it out...


best of luck man.

 

[html034]

Is this wrong? My wife got mad at me because I got mad at my mother in law. After a couple days of fuming about it, she left. She said all I do is brew beer, drink beer and read about making beer on HBT. She grabbed some clothes and and left and went to her mom's and has been there ever since. I figured since I had the house to myself, I would bottle two batches and brew a double batch. Last weekend was my first double header! Is that wrong?

your avatar seems quite apt for this thread