inaccurate beer descriptions

[fredthecat]

post some cringe worthy inaccurate beer descriptions or even "i heard this guy once say ..." regarding terrible beer descriptions

a korean beer: "black beer stout" which is actually pretty decent for being so cheap
"Blackbeer Stout - Lager Type - From German Dark Roasted Malt"

also looking for know-nothing beer experts who will inaccurately throw around the words, hops, lager, ferment, alcohol etc

 

[RainyDay]

I've had plenty of lackluster IPAs that said they're "Bursting with hops!" or something similar. I think IPA labels are the biggest culprits lying to the masses.

 

[fredthecat]

sadly im tuckered out from a workweek, but i'll get my brain going on this topic. needless to say "triple hopped" is a perfect example

any kind of claim about processes or things like "fully hopped for a sweet, rich flavour"

 

[TyTanium]

This beer: Kennebunkport IPA is labeled as an IPA.

A weak bock or Pilsner would be more accurate. Adjuct lagers have more hop character.

 

[H-ost]

Drank an Alimoney Ale labeled as an IPA last night.... I swear, it was a Pale ale with maybe one or two to many IBUs to be called such.

 

[ludomonster]

"Triple Hops Brewed" is probably an accurate statement, even though it doesn't convey a lot of information to someone who understands hop additions. With respect to IPA's, I think the IBU arms race brought a lot of misinformation to bottle labels, in the sense that IBU's don't tell the whole story. Anyway, I have made a cream ale that says "Ultimate Cream" on the label, even though it is a beer with serious cider esters. Actually, my Bad Amba Jamma and Badder Amba Jamma labels feature the King of Pop and N.D. Tyson, respectively, instead of Carl Carlton. "English Mother@#$, Do You Drink It Pale Ale," features Dave Chappell making fun of Samuel Adams instead of Jules from Pulp Fiction. I can hardly say that my labelling is any more accurate than anyone else's.

 

[knuckleheadbrewing]

Haha One time I was in Beef O Brady's with the wife, I asked the server what was on tap...She started naming off Bud, Miller, Coors, Sierra Nevada, Drifter....What whats Drifter? Ohh it's good it tastes like Yeungling....Ok I could tell she was confused and had no clue...What arrives was a Windmer Bros. Drifter Pale Ale...which is a pretty hoppy Pale Ale, but how the eff do you get Yeungling out of this? ROFL

 

[trumpetbeard]

Does the brand name Milwaukee's Best count as misleading? Doesn't say anything about the character of the beer, but it certainly makes a strong argument about it's quality.

 

[evrose]

post some cringe worthy inaccurate beer descriptions or even "i heard this guy once say ..." regarding terrible beer descriptions

a korean beer: "black beer stout" which is actually pretty decent for being so cheap
"Blackbeer Stout - Lager Type - From German Dark Roasted Malt"

also looking for know-nothing beer experts who will inaccurately throw around the words, hops, lager, ferment, alcohol etc

I had a part-time job in a while back editing scientific manuscripts written by Koreans for American journals. Some of the grammar was unintentionally hilarious. My wife and I still have a few ongoing inside jokes relating to some of the stuff I would edit. For example, whenever we make a list, we arbitrarily add "respectively" to the end. e.g. I'm going to the grocery store to get eggs, milk, bread, and cheese, respectively. (it's funny to us... but it looses some humor in the telling.)

Anyhow, if you're seeing this in foreign beers, it's likely a language/translation issue.

 

[TheMan]

Haha, I have two...from two consecutive conversations. I went to a brewpub, the menu said they have a beer engine and to ask the server for what is on it. So i asked. The response was, "what? Beer engine? I have no clue what you are talking about, I have never heard of that"...I laughed and told him its in his menu, he better read up on it.

Then after I ordered my friend asked what kind one of the beers was, it was a Belgian. The server said "oh its a wheat beer, like gumballhead". The beer was a pure Belgian...I don't know how any person regardless of their palate could call that and gumballhead the same.

I nearly went and asked to speak to the manager about the guy. Working in a brewpub that serves their own beer, the staff should know how to accurately describe what style a beer is. And I don't care what restaurant you work at, you should never have to say that you have never heard of something that is specifically in your menu! My table got a good laugh though.

 

[Getzinator]

Guiness Black Lager "Cold Brewed"
It's not that it's terribly inaccurate, the terminology just bothers me. Same as "triple hop brewed".

Also Pabst Blue Ribbon. Not hating, I actually find it a guilty pleasure. I just laugh that they hold a century old blue ribbon as their sole marketing.

 

[ludomonster]

Guiness Black Lager "Cold Brewed"
It's not that it's terribly inaccurate, the terminology just bothers me. Same as "triple hop brewed".

Also Pabst Blue Ribbon. Not hating, I actually find it a guilty pleasure. I just laugh that they hold a century old blue ribbon as their sole marketing.

That's how you get as much as you can out of a win.

 

[JordanThomas]

Meh... not everyone is a genius when it comes to picking flavors out of a beer and using a plethora of terms to explain it to someone else. And frankly, if you use a bunch of crazy terminology, chances are, the majority of people asking about the beer wouldn't follow. Why give the people serving your beer a hard time? It's not like they are intentionally lying to you. Maybe they never got to taste all of the beers they have available.

When all else fails, trying it is the best way to describe it. If they wouldn't let you taste it, then maybe get upset.

My 2 cents.

 

[MisterTipsy]

Miller High Life is definitely NOT the Champagne of Beers.

 

[RainyDay]

I would submit that Deus is the champagne of beers.

 

[MisterTipsy]

Here are some amusing reviews of Budweiser. All of the following reviewers rated Bud 4.5-5.0 on a 5 point scale.

The king of beers is the best stuff on earth. More people need to MAN UP and drink the diesel. Better than ****ty preppy bud lite.

I originally like the light version but I looked down and noticed I had a dick(maybe not big)but this should be every man's beer.

king of beers . FU beer snobs. hey you mother effers I only drink BUd like Joe King once said. Bud is KIng for a reason. All of you hippies can shove it. Budweiser is what makes America the great land that it is. shut up and drink one

Real-man beer. Taste ties to memories, so if you lead a boring life, you’re rating this one low. Americana in a can. Sack up.

You know **** about beer then do not rate this.For being the king of beer,it taste awesome.Blond color with 4.9% Just they should make the appearence nicer.

They don’t call it the king for nothing. Like it or not Bud is a staple for so many events that other more interesting beers can not compete. You can’t play pong with lambics. Getting hotties wasted doesn’t work with porters, he’s the king for a reason, everyone else is merely a subject in the kingdom

This **** is BEECHWOOD AGED. Too many people forget that some beer is MADE FOR swilling. They forget that they need to review what this beer IS, as opposed to what it IS NOT. Completely inoffensive!!! Crisp! Tons of small, tongue and throat massaging bubbles! Mild ricey flavor with a boost of organic heritage maize! No hangover regardless of how many you drink (pbr and high life cannot make this claim.) This crap is the KING OF BEERS for a reason! LONG LIVE THE KING!!!

I guess people who really like Bud also like to cuss

 

[evrose]

I guess people who really like Bud also like to cuss

I'm guessing that they also don't like to wear shirts, and that showering is considered somewhat optional.

 

[MisterTipsy]

I'm guessing that they also don't like to wear shirts, and that showering is considered somewhat optional.

They don't wear shirts often, but when they do it's a sleeveless.

 

[MisterTipsy]

Refreshing is a word that many people use to describe lighter beers. I don't find many beers to be refreshing. Tart fruit beers are an exception.

 

[MisterTipsy]

A 100 IBU IPA with a pale malt and carapils grain bill is not balanced, but it's a world that is often used to describe it.

 

[itsbeeryo]

http://www.bjsbrewhouse.com/bj-beers/beers/hopstorm-ipa

I've had more of a hopstorm in a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

 

[MisterTipsy]

Tart and sour are not the same thing.

 

[Lazarous]

Was at Lagunitas recently on there brewery your where you get several tastings before you head out, the server brought out a sample of Lucky 13 for me so I ask, "what style is this beer" the young man replies "ale I think"...lol

 

[bjl110]

I had a beer called Lija's Hellhound Brown. The description on the pack said that it was a "smooth and luscious brown ale". I took one drink and almost spat it out. This beer was SUPER bitter. I looked on the website and it said that the brown ale is 90 IBUs (@ like 6% I think). What the hell is smooth and luscious about that?!

 

[day_trippr]

"This crap is the KING OF BEERS for a reason! LONG LIVE THE KING!!!"

I'm still chuckling over that one

Cheers!

 

[fredthecat]

yeah re: budweiser, actually i can play beer pong with lambics. however, i choose to never ever play beer pong.

the budweiser "reviews" show why a persons choice in beer says a lot about their personality in general in many cases

currently drinking bum wine that says "Jinro housewine is the benefit of good grape, sunshine and winemakers of Spain which made rich flavored sweet-edged wine". it tastes like very cheap manischewitz

 

[fredthecat]

here's a discount light beer from korea

"Cafri is South Korea’s high-end premium beer, launched in July 1995. With its chic transparent bottle and smooth taste, Cafri appeals to young customers. Cafri also provides the differentiated taste of Cafri Lemon with 4.2% ABV to those who seek something new and exciting. Cafri inspires the targeted younger generation to break out of their routine lifestyle and experience extraordinary freedom, making Cafri truly target-relevant. Cafri continues to deliver a free, lively, contemporary and unbound personality. "

this beer is more than just a drink, its a lifestyle

 

[nukebrewer]

My favorite one is when you ask someone, "Hey, what kind of beer do you like?" and they respond, "Well, you know, I like ales and lagers." So you like every single type of beer in existence? I may be wrong, but I don't think that's possible. Everyone has different tastes and some beers are going to offend your palate, so an answer like that tells me you don't know much about beer, which is fine, but at least admit it and don't try to BS me into thinking you're a connoisseur.

 

[ktblunden]

http://www.bjsbrewhouse.com/bj-beers/beers/hopstorm-ipa

I've had more of a hopstorm in a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

I went to BJ's last weekend and tried that one and was extremely disappointed. I did follow it up with an Oud Bruin in a bottle that was fantastic, though. Really cheap, too.

 

[Getzinator]

i choose to never ever play beer pong.

You sir, have missed out on countless hours of fun. I've played water pong and drank whatever I want on the side.

Competition is always enjoyable. Always.