In Bathroom Stalls...

[Dr_Deathweed]

there once was a man named dave
who kept a dead whore in a cave
he had to admit, I'm a bit of a s#!t,
but look at all the money I save

 

[c.n.budz]

The classic:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a c*%t I would f*ck it!"

I was in Nantucket when I was in 15 and saw a T-shirt that said "I am the man from Nantucket" I wanted it soooo badly but my mother said it was disgusting and she'd burn it if I bought it....

 

[sudsmonkey]

On the back of a stall door in a truckstop men's room on I-40 :" I need to get fu**ed!". All I could think was that if you're advertising for sex on the back of a men's room door, you probably already are.

 

[Yuri_Rage]

There was a young girl named O'Malley
Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
She got roars of applause
When she kicked off her drawers
But her hair and her bush didn't tally.

 

[Ridge Runner]

When I'm dead and in my grave
No more pu**y will I crave
But on my gravestone will be seen
Here lies the bones of a f!ckin machine.

 

[homebrewer_99]

On the back of a stall door in a truckstop men's room on I-40 :" I need to get fu**ed!". All I could think was that if you're advertising for sex on the back of a men's room door, you probably already are.

I've heard of *****whipped, but never momma whipped...WUSS!!!

 

[TxBrew]

There once was a US Senator from Idaho.

 

[olllllo]

There once was a US Senator from Idaho.

 

[evanmars]

There once was a man named "McSweeny"
Who spilled some gin on his weeny.
Not being uncouth
He add vermouth
And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

 

[evanmars]

There once was a man named "McGraw"
Who had a hexagonical ball
The square of its weight
Plus his pecker times 8
Is his phone number, give him a call

 

[evanmars]

There once was a lad named "Perkins"
Who was always jerkin' his gherkin
Said his mother to Perkins
Stop jerkin' your gherkin
Your gherkin's for ferkin', not jerkin'

 

[Hopleaf]

I had dyslexia as a child, I used to write about it in my dairy.

 

[Indybrew]

Jimmy Hoffa please call home.


Saw that years ago, about pissed all over myself. Still my favorite.

 

[Cheesefood]

Larry Craig called this place a "Toe-Tapping Good Time".

My fave - from Dumb and Dumber:

"For real man-love, be here Tuesday at 8:30."

 

[sudsmonkey]

I've heard of *****whipped, but never momma whipped...WUSS!!!

I don't get it, Bill.

 

[Evets]

Can't go poop? Do not pout.
Just relax and rub one out.

 

[funkapottomous]

I just saw this one while taking a break from class, and had never seen the last two lines before.


Here I sit brokenhearted,
Tried to **** but only farted.
Later on I took a chance,
tried to fart and **** my pants.

 

[SouthernCross]

From the ladies' room:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Be a sweetie, wipe the seatie..

 

[passedpawn]

I just saw this one while taking a break from class, and had never seen the last two lines before.


Here I sit brokenhearted,
Tried to **** but only farted.
Later on I took a chance,
tried to fart and **** my pants.

So wrong. Corrected for modern times I suppose. Last two lines should be:

Next time I won't take a chance,
save my dime and $hit my pants.
​

Anyone ever seen a pay stall? Sort of cruel I think. Amsterdam has them on the streets, they clean themselves with a shower after you pay and exit.

 

[passedpawn]

In california, during droughts:

If it's yellow let it mellow,
if it's brown flush it down.​

 

[Dan]

Here I sit
all broken hearted
came to $hit
but only farted

Then one day I took a chance
Tried to fart and $hit my pants.

classic

 

[dover157]

I emptied my bladder,
Which made it gladder,
I peed for an hour or more.
Then I sat and I shat,
Till my colon was flat,
Now my sphincter's all itchy and sore.

 

[Bold]

This toilet paper is like John Wayne. Tough as nails and dont take **** off nobody.

http://www.thatsmyscript.com/radio.php?r=89ce0f1908

 

[jmendez29]

Anyone ever seen a pay stall? Sort of cruel I think. Amsterdam has them on the streets, they clean themselves with a shower after you pay and exit.

What do they use as the water source for the shower?

 

[yummybeer]

a boss is like a dirty diaper, they're always on your a$$ and they're always full of sh!t.

 

[lustreking]

At the college I work at:

Its easy to annoy English major's.

 

[Toecutter]

In california, during droughts:

If it's yellow let it mellow,
if it's brown flush it down.​

During the last california governer election. "If its Brown, Flush it"

 

[Toecutter]

Above the coat hook on the inside of the stall door : If you were unfortunate to have had an accident, and sh-- you shorts, please be kind to others, and DO NOT leave them hanging from this coat hook

The management

 

[ceannt]

This kind of dates me but......
"Don't change Dick's in the middle of a screw.... vote for Nixon in '72"

 

[arturo7]

I just saw this one while taking a break from class, and had never seen the last two lines before.


Here I sit brokenhearted,
Tried to **** but only farted.
Later on I took a chance,
tried to fart and **** my pants.

Holy Necropost, Batman!