I understand now... but its still not ok (to varying degrees)

[CreamyGoodness]

When I was in my 20s... let me be frank... people with kids were a pain in the ass. It seemed every extra hour I worked was because someone in the office had to take little Johnny home from krumhorn practice or I had to shoulder work for 2 because Bertha Butt was on maternity leave for the 6th time in 3 years. I was never getting married, never having kids, and people who took part in these antiquated rituals were, it seemed, NEVER NOT FRIGGING TALKING ABOUT IT.

Of course, I got married, and earlier this month as most of you know, my son was born. I am already beginning to exhibit some of the behaviors I detested when I was younger... and I'm going to give myself a pass for some of them. Others however, I have to remind myself, are still obnoxious.

1) Not taking friends' calls. Ok, now I get it. Youve been through sleepless nights, you've bonded with another person to an almost creepy/unnatural degree, and... if you are anything like me... witnessed your wife in the most pain you have seen before and hope to never experience again. You want time alone to recover. To nest. To heal. To give care to new life...

Pick up your phone, you're being rude.

2) Talking about the baby non-stop. I REALLY get this one. Just remember, non-parents in the room can enjoy such a conversation for about 5 maybe 10 minutes before the next party/orgy/impromtu flip-cup game breaks out and you are keeping them from it. Fellow parents generally have more stamina in this regard. Be aware of the fact when the person you are talking to's eyes start to glaze over they are beginning to hate you. Break away.

3) Blurting out something gross. I just mentioned my son's belly button falling off the other day. I had to tell someone. Its not exactly the right thing to do. Talk about anything that a diaper covers on your kid with family only. By the way, my son farts like a CHAMP.

4) Showing off/showing pictures. This one used to really burn my toast. I'd be at work, working my ass off and in comes Mary and Barney Ugly and their runt Lil' Ugly and I'd have to stop what I was doing to pretend to care (tacking more time onto my 12 hour + day). What a treat for me, I now know this child's sleep patterns, which is information that can help me with nothing.

I almost brought him in today. I get it... your kid is gorgeous to you. Other people have to work.

5) Similarly, baby pictures. I just caught myself corning a co-worker with a bunch of mine after she asked, innocently, "how's the baby?" Poor thing has work to do. Sure, seeing a couple cute baby pics while you are getting coffee isnt the worst fate to befall someone, but what if they are working on a deadline? Worse yet, what if the person you have cornered is unable to have kids themselves, always wanted to, and feels stabbing sadness at everything baby related? What if, God forbid, they just lost their child in an accident? Its important to not rub it in in that case, and if I dont know, I approach it gently.

On the other side of things, now that I've been in the NICU and have seen what goes on... a mom burst into tears with relief when her <1lb preemi housed a full bottle of formula, a dad with 100 yard stare when he was told his baby daughter had fluid on the brain... an idiot who calls himself CreamyGoodness holding a nurse's hand and weeping like a frigging idiot after signing off on a lumbar puncture (thats a goddamn needle in the spine) to make sure his son didnt have meningitus... I will NEVER EVER joke about ugly babies again.

Which is a pretty decent segue into #6...

Bragging that your baby is the cutest, most beautiful baby ever. Well... it is. I'll allow it.

*sigh*

It will pass.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Welcome to the dark side of the pampers.

Wait, what?

 

[Homercidal]

We all know that by saying "...working my ass off." you meant surfing HBT. But we will let it slide.

Just wait until you start bragging about your kid's grades. As if that makes them a nice, caring person.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

We all know that by saying "...working my ass off." you meant surfing HBT. But we will let it slide.

Just wait until you start bragging about your kid's grades. As if that makes them a nice, caring person.

By the time I found HBT I had already hit my early 30s .

 

[headbanger]

Just please do everyone a favor and pass on the "stick figure family" decal affixed to the back windshield of your new mini-van.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Just please do everyone a favor and pass on the "stick figure family" decal affixed to the back windshield of your new mini-van.

Or even more putrid "Baby on Board"

That one I cant abide, even still.

The other thing I understand but cant get behind (in fact I feel rather damning towards), is the idea that safety of kids, even in places where kids have no business, is paramount to everything else. We asked the downstairs neighbors to bring the volume of their party (at 1am) down a few octaves... we wouldnt dare dream to ask them to not have a party.

Woman who snorted cocaine while breastfeed? Prosecute.
Woman who owned an adult toystore and had her kindergartner in the back room bc she couldnt find a sitter? Leave alone.

 

[broadbill]

I'm not sure what is more obnoxious....parents going on about their kids, or that yank-off who brags about working 12+ hour days and complaining about working his ass off to cover for the women in the office who dares take maternity leave.

 

[Homercidal]

How did they bring their music down a few octaves? Pitch shifter? I need one for my guitar. I wish it was as easy as adjusting the volume...

 

[cheezydemon3]

Ahhh!!! So cute! Creamy realizes that all this time, HE was the ass!

Yes, I get the point, but hang in there.

You will go from:

The guy who is soooooooo annoyed that there is a baby crying on the plane...

TO:

The guy feeling sorry for the poor woman traveling alone with a crying baby, ready to defend her from anyone who tries to give her or the kid any crap.

The ones raising kids are the ones keeping the world going by doing the hard job for all of the selfish people who don't.

 

[headbanger]

The ones raising kids are the ones keeping the world going by doing the hard job for all of the selfish people who don't.

Gee, thanks!

 

[WayFrae]

Just please do everyone a favor and pass on the "stick figure family" decal affixed to the back windshield of your new mini-van.

I thought this was just a Utah (mormon) thing. Some of the mini vans around here have stick figures spanning the entire rear window. It drives me crazy, I don't understand it at all.

"Hey look at us! We have 11 kids, 4 dogs, 3 cats, and a goldfish!"

No one cares.

 

[Gar]

Just please do everyone a favor and pass on the "stick figure family" decal affixed to the back windshield of your new mini-van.

saw one of those the other day where all the stick figures were flipping the bird even the one in the baby carrage

 

[cheezydemon3]

I am looking for stick family stickers where all of the characters are clearly serial killers, or at least deranged.

 

[Beernik]

I thought this was just a Utah (mormon) thing. Some of the mini vans around here have stick figures spanning the entire rear window. It drives me crazy, I don't understand it at all.

"Hey look at us! We have 11 kids, 4 dogs, 3 cats, and a goldfish!"

No one cares.

This is not an exaggeration. I saw a 15 person van like this in a Walmart parking lot in St George. I counted 12 children stickers.

I did put the Nightmare Before Christmas stick figures on my car. But it's because it's Nightmare Before Christmas, not because it's a representation of my family.

 

[dobe12]

Ahhh!!! So cute! Creamy realizes that all this time, HE was the ass!

Yes, I get the point, but hang in there.

You will go from:

The guy who is soooooooo annoyed that there is a baby crying on the plane...

TO:

The guy feeling sorry for the poor woman traveling alone with a crying baby, ready to defend her from anyone who tries to give her or the kid any crap.

The ones raising kids are the ones keeping the world going by doing the hard job for all of the selfish people who don't.

There's no graphic for roaring round of applause, so I'll use this instead.

 

[dobe12]

Saw something like this the other day. Love it!

 

[cheezydemon3]

Lol

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

the guy feeling sorry for the poor woman traveling alone with a crying baby, still pissed off that the baby is crying but thanking god it is not his kid.

ftfy.

 

[cheezydemon3]

ftfy.

You are right! I hear the crying kid and feel relief. I do, however, also glare at anyone complaining too loudly.

 

[sandyeggoxj]

Or even more putrid "Baby on Board"

That one I cant abide, even still.

Here ya go:

 

[BamaProud]

You hven't lived until you have raised a child IMO.

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

Worse yet, what if the person you have cornered is unable to have kids themselves, always wanted to, and feels stabbing sadness at everything baby related? What if, God forbid, they just lost their child in an accident? Its important to not rub it in in that case, and if I dont know, I approach it gently.

This one is ridiculous. Holding others emotional hostage where they can't express happiness because of one's own misfortune is terrible and should not be tolerated.

One of my sons is autistic. He just turned 5, and we're just starting to get functional language out of him. It's a deeply worrying thing as a parent to wonder if your child is going to progress enough to communicate with others and live an independent life. As parents, we want our kids to grow up and have world as their oyster. We don't want to wonder if our kids might have to live in an institution and be worried about who will care for them--as adults--after we pass on.

But do I have any right to get offended about another parent's happiness at their child's first word, or story about the precocious thing their two-year old said? No. That someone else should contain their happiness because my son is autistic helps nobody. Expecting them to do so is manipulative and selfish.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

This one is ridiculous. Holding others emotional hostage where they can't express happiness because of one's own misfortune is terrible and should not be tolerated.

One of my sons is autistic. He just turned 5, and we're just starting to get functional language out of him. It's a deeply worrying thing as a parent to wonder if your child is going to progress enough to communicate with others and live an independent life. As parents, we want our kids to grow up and have world as their oyster. We don't want to wonder if our kids might have to live in an institution and be worried about who will care for them--as adults--after we pass on.

But do I have any right to get offended about another parent's happiness at their child's first word, or story about the precocious thing their two-year old said? No. That someone else should contain their happiness because my son is autistic helps nobody. Expecting them to do so is manipulative and selfish.

Well said! Though I'll still give Creamy a pass on all those things; partly cuz he's a new Dad & partly cuz he is Creamy Goodness. But I expect him to confess when he finally does take the stroller on the train.
Regards, GF.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Well said! Though I'll still give Creamy a pass on all those things; partly cuz he's a new Dad & partly cuz he is Creamy Goodness. But I expect him to confess when he finally does take the stroller on the train.
Regards, GF.

Hehe Im sure Ill take the stroller, just NOT AT RUSH HOUR! .

Here's the thing, I just call for exercising a little restraint and common sense. If I go on and on about how much I love my job to someone who just lost his and might have his house foreclosed on... I'm being an unthinking idiot. They dont have any recourse, other than to break away from the conversation, but fact remains I was being a jerk in this hypothetical.

I stand by the statement.

 

[cheezydemon3]

If you KNOW that he lost his job (or his child) that is one thing.

If you are just casually talking to someone, you can't go around acting terrified that you will offend someone. Most people are happy to look at 2-3 minutes of baby pics.

THAT, and maybe....JUST MAYBE....this proverbial stroller on the 5 o'clock train had just lost their JOB, and their other CHILD, and had to get to the funeral home by 5:15 for some forgotten arrangement that HAD to be signed today, and their car would not start.

I am now dealing with my *****ey "Sit and Judge everyone" problem, and one thing that helps (especially with road rage) is: "assume that everyone else has something more important to do than you do"

You will live longer, and you will save yourself the emberassment of someday spouting off your judgemental attitude in front of someone who cuts you in two while showing you what a judgemental ********* you are. TRUST ME.

It aint worth the little bit of "I'M RIGHT" satisfactioon you get in the short term.

 

[Homercidal]

Let's face it. Most babies are pretty ugly. There. I said it.

I don't care to see your pictures. I've seen several babies in my life. I'm good, thanks.

I don't mind hearing the stories, though. For instance, friends of ours just posted on FB that their baby slept for 8 hours last night. That is a cause for celebration! Tell me when the pee on you when you change their diaper. Tell me when they throw their plates of food on the floor. Tell me when they tell you to shut up for the first time.

Those are great moments. Very expected and perfectly normal and not that interesting, but I KNOW you will want to share.

 

[JonM]

Presented without comment:

http://www.mommyish.com/2014/05/15/stfu-parents-explaining-parenthood/

 

[dobe12]

Wouldn't it be great if people just weren't so judgmental? Especially when the judger has no concept of what the judgee is going through in their personal life?

But what do I know. I'm just a father and husband trying my best to provide for my family and raise my child.

 

[b-boy]

When I was in my 20s... let me be frank... people with kids were a pain in the ass. It seemed every extra hour I worked was because someone in the office had to take little Johnny home from krumhorn practice or I had to shoulder work for 2 because Bertha Butt was on maternity leave for the 6th time in 3 years. I was never getting married, never having kids, and people who took part in these antiquated rituals were, it seemed, NEVER NOT FRIGGING TALKING ABOUT IT.

Of course, I got married, and earlier this month as most of you know, my son was born. I am already beginning to exhibit some of the behaviors I detested when I was younger... and I'm going to give myself a pass for some of them. Others however, I have to remind myself, are still obnoxious.

1) Not taking friends' calls. Ok, now I get it. Youve been through sleepless nights, you've bonded with another person to an almost creepy/unnatural degree, and... if you are anything like me... witnessed your wife in the most pain you have seen before and hope to never experience again. You want time alone to recover. To nest. To heal. To give care to new life...

Pick up your phone, you're being rude.

2) Talking about the baby non-stop. I REALLY get this one. Just remember, non-parents in the room can enjoy such a conversation for about 5 maybe 10 minutes before the next party/orgy/impromtu flip-cup game breaks out and you are keeping them from it. Fellow parents generally have more stamina in this regard. Be aware of the fact when the person you are talking to's eyes start to glaze over they are beginning to hate you. Break away.

3) Blurting out something gross. I just mentioned my son's belly button falling off the other day. I had to tell someone. Its not exactly the right thing to do. Talk about anything that a diaper covers on your kid with family only. By the way, my son farts like a CHAMP.

4) Showing off/showing pictures. This one used to really burn my toast. I'd be at work, working my ass off and in comes Mary and Barney Ugly and their runt Lil' Ugly and I'd have to stop what I was doing to pretend to care (tacking more time onto my 12 hour + day). What a treat for me, I now know this child's sleep patterns, which is information that can help me with nothing.

I almost brought him in today. I get it... your kid is gorgeous to you. Other people have to work.

5) Similarly, baby pictures. I just caught myself corning a co-worker with a bunch of mine after she asked, innocently, "how's the baby?" Poor thing has work to do. Sure, seeing a couple cute baby pics while you are getting coffee isnt the worst fate to befall someone, but what if they are working on a deadline? Worse yet, what if the person you have cornered is unable to have kids themselves, always wanted to, and feels stabbing sadness at everything baby related? What if, God forbid, they just lost their child in an accident? Its important to not rub it in in that case, and if I dont know, I approach it gently.

On the other side of things, now that I've been in the NICU and have seen what goes on... a mom burst into tears with relief when her <1lb preemi housed a full bottle of formula, a dad with 100 yard stare when he was told his baby daughter had fluid on the brain... an idiot who calls himself CreamyGoodness holding a nurse's hand and weeping like a frigging idiot after signing off on a lumbar puncture (thats a goddamn needle in the spine) to make sure his son didnt have meningitus... I will NEVER EVER joke about ugly babies again.

Which is a pretty decent segue into #6...

Bragging that your baby is the cutest, most beautiful baby ever. Well... it is. I'll allow it.

*sigh*

It will pass.

How do you have time to post long-winded rants with a newborn in the house?

Shouldn't you be burping/feeding/changing the baby?

 

[cheezydemon3]

Lol, having kids leaves SO little time for *****ebaggery!!!

 

[JonM]

I've seen so many "parents are soooo busy and important, so let me explain it all to you childless ignoramuses" posts that I glossed over the OP's post, assuming it was yet another one of those.

Then I re-read it. It's not. He's telling the self-righteous parentsplainers to tone it down a notch or two and to think of others. It's a good post. Cheers to Creamy.

 

[cheezydemon3]

I've seen so many "parents are soooo busy and important, so let me explain it all to you childless ignoramuses" posts that I glossed over the OP's post, assuming it was yet another one of those.

Then I re-read it. It's not. He's telling the self-righteous parentsplainers to tone it down a notch or two and to think of others. It's a good post. Cheers to Creamy.

"Left with no comment" and then you comment.

Granted, some take it too far, but when one group is CONTINUING THE F**KING SPECIES, and you are just living out your selfish (and from your post, possibly meaningless) life, just about anything said by the "selfish spouting, lecturing" parents is forgiveable......NO?

I mean no insult, but in the big picture, not pro-creating, and avoiding annoying children rather than passing whatever knowledge you might have, leaves NO lasting effect....unless you invent Post-Its or something.....

 

[CreamyGoodness]

"Left with no comment" and then you comment.

Granted, some take it too far, but when one group is CONTINUING THE F**KING SPECIES, and you are just living your selfish life, just about anything said by the "selfish spouting, lecturing" parents is forgiveable......NO?

I'm actually going to have to disagree with you completely on this one. The fact that you and I procreated is unremarkable and not truly a help to anyone (except arguably our own kids). There are enough people popping out 5+ kids at a sitting at you and I dont have much of a impact one way or another.

Plus, I think it is infinitely less selfish to have fewer or no kids than to have them and leave society at large to raise them. If people stopped thinking that popping out a little ******* is better than not having kids at all this world would be a much better place.

So yeah, in response to "NO?" Im going to have to respond... no.

 

[headbanger]

"Left with no comment" and then you comment.

Granted, some take it too far, but when one group is CONTINUING THE F**KING SPECIES, and you are just living out your selfish (and from your post, possibly meaningless) life, just about anything said by the "selfish spouting, lecturing" parents is forgiveable......NO?

I mean no insult, but in the big picture, not pro-creating, and avoiding annoying children rather than passing whatever knowledge you might have, leaves NO lasting effect....unless you invent Post-Its or something.....

I'm with Creamy on this one. You view yourself as superior in some way over childless people simply because you're saddled with kids? How could you mean no insult with that kind of BS?

 

[b-boy]

I try to look at it from a purely biological standpoint.

I was created to procreate (Now there's a bumper sticker).

It's as simple as that. I'm no different than a tree. It's nothing that special. It's just nature.

But...I do like having kids. It's endless fun, frustration, and aggrevation. I can't imagine not having them.

Mine are in the process of going out on their own and it really bums me out.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

I am steadfast in my opinion that there is a decent sized chunk of the population who should not have kids. One of the major reasons is, "I simply don't want to". You know what? Thats ok. We do not, I repeat, do NOT need an ever expanding population, and unless we get hit with another plague or world war, the species is not in trouble of dying out any time soon.

We put pressure on people to have kids when we shouldnt, and in my opinion (read: I am correct) a lot of people allow the pressure to cause them to have kids for the wrong reasons, and thousands of kids grow up being actively resented. F That.

 

[hunter_le five]

Wouldn't it be great if people just weren't so judgmental? Especially when the judger has no concept of what the judgee is going through in their personal life?

I am focusing the entirety of my conscious being on judging you right now.

I am judging you so hard. I am judging the $#!+ out of you.

 

[hunter_le five]

Granted, some take it too far, but when one group is CONTINUING THE F**KING SPECIES, and you are just living out your selfish (and from your post, possibly meaningless) life, just about anything said by the "selfish spouting, lecturing" parents is forgiveable......NO?

[sarcasm]Who's more selfish? Me for not wanting to have kids, or you for contributing to the burgeoning overpopulation problem in the face of diminishing resources? If anything, I'm a g0dd@mn hero. [/sarcasm]

Who am I kidding, though, it's only a matter of time until SWMBO guilts me into putting a baby in her, or she just "accidentally" forgets to take her pill....

 

[WayFrae]

[sarcasm]Who's more selfish? Me for not wanting to have kids, or you for contributing to the burgeoning overpopulation problem in the face of diminishing resources? If anything, I'm a g0dd@mn hero. [/sarcasm]

Who am I kidding, though, it's only a matter of time until SWMBO guilts me into putting a baby in her, or she just "accidentally" forgets to take her pill....

Haha I am in the same boat as you man.

 

[fuzzy2133]

Who am I kidding, though, it's only a matter of time until SWMBO guilts me into putting a baby in her, or she just "accidentally" forgets to take her pill....

That is where you both HAVE to be on the same page for having kids or not. A few friends from high school always thought they would be bad parents (1 didn't want any kids at all and has 2 now) and that is probably what makes them great at it. Just remember all the crap you did growing up is now headed your way. Dang karma...

Saw something like this the other day. Love it!
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/attach...ut-its-still-not-ok-varying-degrees-hzuxd.jpg

I have some one in mind that could use that sticker!