I need a funny beer saying!!!

[wardens355]

"We all need something to believe in. I believe I'll have another beer."

Found this on a sign in a used dresser I bought.

 

[unionrdr]

It's yo' thang, do whatcha wanna do. I can't tell ya, what brew ta sock it to?!

 

[GrogNerd]

 

[Oberon67]

I'd go with a list of reasons why a beer is better than a woman.

1. A beer doesn't mind if you have another beer.

 

[m_c_zero]

This is a Homer Simpson quote about alcohol, but you could change it to beer:

"Alcohol, the solution to, and cause of, all of life's problems"

Edit: Damn, just saw that someone already posted this...

 

[Oberon67]

2. It's okay when a beer is cold.

 

[Oberon67]

3. You can enjoy a beer all month.

 

[Oberon67]

4. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.

 

[Oberon67]

5. It doesn't cost you anything to switch from one beer to another.

 

[PlexVector]

When all else fails--have another homebrew.

 

[maddcow]

I am not ‘chugging beer’ I’m SAMPLING a flight of gluten free German lagers with a French wine pairing.* It’s called a SMORGASVEIN and it’s elegantly cultural! - Randy Marsh. South Park

 

[edroberts]

"Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could've become beer, but didn't." - Walter Thornburgh

"People say "you'll regret that in the morning", so I sleep until noon because I'm a problem solver."

 

[unionrdr]

A beer doesn't care if you're seen drinking another beer. A beer doesn't care where you drink it. A beer doesn't care how many you're seen drinking at once. A beer doesn't care how many beers you have around. A beer doesn't care if you go for more beers.

 

[grrickar]

People who drink light beers don't like beer, they just like to pee a lot...

Cheers! Here's to the best time that you'll never remember! < need a few more than a 6er for this to be true

 

[brewfarmDan]

This beer should be drunk in a comfortable chair (referring to a Barley Wine): Dave Miller, homebrew author.

Help I've fallen and I can't reach my beer: Me as far as I know

An Optimist would say "the glass is half full", a Pessimist would say "the glass is half empty", a Home Brewer would say "is that beer in that glass?": Me as far as I know

One more for the ditch: Unknown from Montana

 

[fj605]

"Dinner is poured!"

 

[Micha]

A little bit out of place, but all my homebrewing things here in Germany are labeled with &#8222;Der kluge Mensch, so glaube mir, der braut und trinkt sein eigenes Bier" : the well-advised person, believe me, brews and drinks his own beer.

 

[FloppyKnockers]

I used to drink beer. I still do, but I used to, too.

-ripped off and butchered from Mitch Hedberg

 

[jperry]

There's a funny saying, that goes something like this: "The only time I have a drinking problem, is when I run out of beer." - not sure who said it...

 

[JINKS]

Hops and grain make water fun

 

[QuadConPana]

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Frank Zappa

 

[PlexVector]

... An Optimist would say "the glass is half full", a Pessimist would say "the glass is half empty", a Home Brewer would say "is that beer in that glass?" ...

Variation of above:
An Optimist would say "the glass is half full", a Pessimist would say "the glass is half empty", a Beer-snob would say "is that beer in the right glass?"

And I think I'm starting to resemble that remark...

 

[jbear68]

"Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, waste a lifetime"

 

[slym2none]

"You don't buy it, you just rent it!"

 

[harleybug88]

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

 

[normonster]

Beer: getting ugly people laid for thousands of years.

 

[slym2none]

Beer: getting ugly people laid for thousands of years.

That's the quote I would get, I'm sure.

 

[QuadConPana]

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Frank Zappa

... Or...

This beer tastes like I'm not going to work tomorrow.

 

[Michigan_Wolfman]

"Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”- Cliff Clavin, Cheers

 

[PlexVector]

"Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”- Cliff Clavin, Cheers

That's always been my favorite!