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I think my self given 40 minutes are about up. And I'm going to get sappy.

This place is my primary social network. I work with two other guys and our jobs are behind secured doors. I don't have much contact with people that I see.

I find comfort in the good people here on HBT.

Someday I'll have a life and probably won't be posting so much. That's a dream and curse.

Goodnight HBT.

Sweet dreams, buttercup.

And before the chickens I just had my plants, they wouldn't even chirp at me. Nothing, they just grew and said nothing. At least the chickens chirp.

Yeah, but the plants don't start screaming when you decide to experiment with a steak knife/lighter/cordless drill...
 
Projects done for the night, tall glass of Muddy Creek by my keyboard and visions of hops cones dancing in my head.
 
I sang a song to the little chickens, turned off all the lights and finally they shut the F up.

Hush little chickens, don't say a word.
Maybe I'll buy you a mocking bird.

Shut the F up before I ring your little necks, you GD chickens! Some people are trying to sleep around here. Obviously, did not finish the chicken tractor today and they are still on my porch, annoying me.
 
Add Oreos. I wish we had dancing Oreos.

Me too, or maybe chocolate chip cookies. Maybe we can ask TXbrew about it.

So today looks like more rain is coming, very windy. So I think I will spend the day studying up on mind reading techniques. Already found this tidbit:

The first thing you have to do is watch the size of the pupil. If the person is not interested you can see the size of the pupil shrink.


Though usually I can tell when hubby is not interested by the way he rolls his eyes and grunts. First order of the day, when he wakes up this afternoon, I will not ask if he wants coffee, I will make coffee then see if he drinks it. Yesterday, he started off having a good day but then it turned into a bad day. So today not sure if the bad day will carry over. If it does, I must be prepared. On bad days, the sound of my voice annoys him, so must learn to communicate without words. And read his mind. Asking him questions on a bad day is a bad idea. Instead of answering the question, he makes an unrelated statement. For example, "Do you want some coffee?" and he answers with something like, "It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon." I look at the clock and yes, he knows what time it is, but that did not answer my question. Or I am supposed to know that 2 o'clock in the afternoon is a bad time for coffee? Even if he just woke up and it's a little chilly out with the wind blowing?

I better go study up on the mind reading thing. My goal today, communicate with him, without words. I will read his mind because that is what he seems to expect me to do. If he thinks I can do that, well, maybe I can.
 
I need $1500. Not sure how to get it. Maybe I can sell my beer on the black market or become a drug dealer. Maybe my crackhead friend can hook me up with some connections. Or sell more junk. Maybe rob a convenient store at just the right time. Or maybe some kind of scam. Become a fortune teller or something. Hmmmm.....
 
I need $1500. Not sure how to get it. Maybe I can sell my beer on the black market or become a drug dealer. Maybe my crackhead friend can hook me up with some connections. Or sell more junk. Maybe rob a convenient store at just the right time. Or maybe some kind of scam. Become a fortune teller or something. Hmmmm.....

I had just read an article that talked about this site - perhaps it will help.

http://www.giveforward.com/cause/raise-money-for-medical-expenses
 
I had just read an article that talked about this site - perhaps it will help.

http://www.giveforward.com/cause/raise-money-for-medical-expenses

Oh, thanks. I will definitely look into that. Looks very interesting, hubby is opposed to charity, but he's so out of it right now, probably won't pay attention to what I am doing. We need some help right now, crops won't be in for another month and a half. And later, when things are stable again, I can try to give the money back to help others.

Also called an old friend and waiting for a call back from the big boss. They own a landscaping company and I can go to work doing that while we wait for crops to grow and berries to come into season. I am the hardest worker they will ever meet. My family and any of my friends can vouch for that.

Maybe I can come up with this money without doing anything illegal.
 
GiveForward empowers friends and family by giving them an answer to the question "What can I do to help?"


I re-wrote my list of things we needed after hubby threw my first list away. Hubby is too proud to beg, but I am not. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
 
I called around today and pretty sure I'll have a job soon. Called landscaping companies. When they said they were fully staffed, I said well surely there is someone you want to fire, I will take their position. I am the hardest worker you will ever meet. I know all about running irrigation, working with tractors, I can work with power tools, anything, tell me once and I got it. Anything that has to do with getting outside and working hard, I'm the person you need. Even the ones who did not need help ended up taking down my name and number. Fire someone, hire me instead. I will work my ass off for the money I need. If this doesn't work out, then I will look into charities.
 
I should have told them I was hot and offered to sleep with the boss. :eek: Then for sure I'd get the job. Desperate times, desperate measures...
 
Today, I let all the chickens go, but little bastards didn't leave. Just huddled together on the porch and tried to follow me around. No, little chickens, you can't come in the house. Ended up putting them back. Little ****ers.
 
Where'd everyone go? I scared you away? I need a ****ing job. Trying to pull money out of my ass isn't working anymore. I will harass my potential employers until someone gives me a job. I need to get out of the house anyway. Nephew can care for hubby while I'm off working. My downfall, I said I just needed temp work, until my crops come in, in a month and a half. But maybe I can still do some work for them after that. I'm flexible... very flexible... I should have stressed that on the phone. I need money!!!! Not for things I don't need, but for things we must have to live.
 
Hubby says I will not get a job landscaping, because that is what Mexicans are for. What? I said, I can work harder than a Mexican and he said no, you can't. If the chemo doesn't kill hubby, I might do it myself. Don't worry though, appointment with my shrink tomorrow and I am on medication.
 
I'm no neuroscientist, or doctor. Though I thank you for the compliment.

So, Dr. LG, what's happening with my dreams, I know you said talk to the shrink and I will. But any ideas what is wrong with me?
I'm afraid you have an incurable case of humanity. :) To be honest, with how stressed you are, I would have been surprised if your dreams weren't either violent or terrifying.


Being educated as a neuroscientist, I can promise you that dreams mean diddly. And your brain tries very hard to "erase" the ones you do remember... you've probably noticed that details become strangely difficult to remember further on in the day even if you remembered them very well when waking up.

And as someone with an overactive REM stage, I can tell you that intense dreaming sucks! They can get really exhausting. Frequent sleep paralysis is another crappy part to the whole REM thing. Although in the past year I've actually started having a few lucid dreams... which have been interesting, but not as easy to control as I had thought they'd be - and putting too much effort into doing so only serves to wake you up and ruin the opportunity.
Yeah, I've done the whole intense dreaming thing. I've never had sleep paralysis unless I was sleeping on my back though.

I can lucid dream about 60% of the time if I want to take the time to do some meditation before I go to sleep. After you've done it for a while though, the novelty wears off. When you lucid dream you also know it isn't real, so it's not actually that much more fun then watching a movie.

Melatonin fecks me up. Haven't taken it in years. I'd have the most intense dreams, felt like I'd been asleep for ten years, wake up and see that ten minutes had passed.
I still take it once in a while, if I have trouble sleeping for several nights in a row.

The Doc is probably thinking and getting ready to write a response. I have found him to be more than he appears here on this thread. Not that he appears wrongly. Meant it as a compliment. LG is quite deep.

BobbiLynn. I think, and have nothing to back this up. The more stress a person is under, the more you brain has to think about during the day. The more wild dreams become at night.

I never really went to college but had a few years of mind soaking education. Seemed during those years I dreamed vividly every night. I don't know what they meant and usually can only recall moments of them if at all. More like a feeling you wake up with, remember parts but they quickly disappear.

OKay true rambling going on on my part. I'm good or another 30-40 minutes worth if you're interested.
Thank you Dan.

Again, not a neuroscientist or doctor.

I was actually sleeping. As far as I can tell, what my brain is doing while I'm dreaming is data organization. It's collating, compressing, moving to long term storage, and deleting irrelevant data.

When you are under stress, that tends to manifest in your dreams. The data you are handling is emotionally charged with fight/flight responses. That tends to be mirrored in your dreams.

I love dreams where I realize I am dreaming, then I get to do whatever I want. Once I dove to the bottom of the ocean, knew I would not drown, but then got swept up by a rogue wave and ended up in the big pool at Sea World in Orlando, Florida. What does that mean?
That you should have another beer of course. :mug:

I think my self given 40 minutes are about up. And I'm going to get sappy.

This place is my primary social network. I work with two other guys and our jobs are behind secured doors. I don't have much contact with people that I see.

I find comfort in the good people here on HBT.

Someday I'll have a life and probably won't be posting so much. That's a dream and curse.

Goodnight HBT.
A life? What's that? Maybe I should see if I can get one when I don't have to work 50 hour weeks.

Where'd everyone go? I scared you away?
Very little scares me anymore BL. Good luck on your job hunt.
 
LG, the music you post here is not my favorite. But I have to say neither was rap. However, over the past year I'm getting into Rap from the influence of my daughter. Not on my car's pre-set radio stations yet. But who knows.

Maybe have to listen to more of your stuff. What music category does it fall into?
 
Well the hunt yesterday was not as good. For some reason the little buggers were not out sunning themselves :mad: I guess that is why they call it hunting and not shooting.

Stupid range finder was set on meters and I did not catch it at first. I was ranging the shots and shooting way low and getting rather frustrated. I was able to range a tree at 750 thinking it was yards but it was meters. The chucks were another 100 yards past that so I was shooting for 850 yards and the real range was about 940.

Sigh, once I figured out what was wrong I was dumping them but dang it took 5 shots to figure it out. Oh well I got to spend a couple of days out doing what I enjoy doing. I took some good cigars and a cooler of beer and spotted for the guys. Since I go long I was pretty much only shooting in the morning when the wind was not so bad leaving the rest of the day for spotting

I can listen to most any kind of music and enjoy it. About the only thing I do not enjoy is the same genre over and over.
 
Sorry the chucks eluded you yesterday, v-man.

Today, I must write a resume. The one company I called is all organic and they seemed very interested in me. They had me look up their website while on the phone with them and told me how to send in my resume. Hell, yes, I know how to start seeds and re-pot plants. That's what I do! Just hand me a seed, I'll make it grow! And I actually do have some formal training, from the best. Will Allen is my mentor. Maybe I can put him down as a reference, surely he can't forget me from his classes. The one sitting at the front of the class, then following him around like a puppy dog when we went outside for the hands-on part, raising my hand every time he asked a question. Heck, I even flirted with him right in front of hubby. And the local organic market I sell through can give me a good reference too. They have been here and saw my work and were very impressed.

So I guess I'll just find a template online and write up my resume. They said I could email it, so that makes it easy. Not sure if I told them I only needed temp work, once my crops come in, I'll be busy again. Will worry about that later. Maybe today I'll also take the chickens on a field trip, they are all looking at me like they want to go. Try to let them go and all they do is follow me around.
 
So Bobbi have you been feeding your chicks dried mash yet. I dried some this week but I have to say it was not a raging success. It got snowed on one day and it has not been real warm so I am going to say the smell leaves some to be desired. I stuck it a food dehydrator to finish it and the wife pretty much said never again. But I did end up with enough dried mash to give to a buddy that has chickens:rockin:
 
So Bobbi have you been feeding your chicks dried mash yet. I dried some this week but I have to say it was not a raging success. It got snowed on one day and it has not been real warm so I am going to say the smell leaves some to be desired. I stuck it a food dehydrator to finish it and the wife pretty much said never again. But I did end up with enough dried mash to give to a buddy that has chickens:rockin:

Yes, I have been and they go crazy over it!! They even love the warm, wet mash after a brew day. I ended up with 2 grocery bags full of dry spent grain and on the second bag now. Also some I froze because it's been too wet to dry it out in the sun. I laid it out on a big aluminum panel to dry, which worked well the first couple times, until something or some things found it and it was all gone the next day. Next time, I'll get it off the ground where hoping it won't all be eaten up by critters. On sunny days here, takes about 2 days to dry out good.
 
Hey all. I took a little break from the computer and television, trying to free up some time to get some stuff done. What can I say, good plan, poor execution. Funny how much meaningless stuff one can find to do when procrastination is in overdrive.

We finally had our first 50 degree day a week ago, then it was in the 70's over the weekend. Looked like winter was finally over, then it snowed again. We had about 8 inches, 18 to 22 inches in Northern Wisconsin. So the cross country ski trails are open again. Not sure about the snowmobile trails. The inland fishing season opener is today but most of the lakes up north are still froze over. I talked to a friend who knows someone on a lake up north and they still have 30 inches of ice. Crazy.

Going to be heading north after a bit and see how much of the Flambeau we have in the backyard of our place up there. Make sure the sump pump is working and that the mice aren't having a party there. Pretty much worked six day weeks from New Years, so really haven't been up there yet this year.

Needless to say I'm getting sick of winter.

In other news, Harrison, my new grandson, made it to the Brewers home opener, has fed giraffes at the Milwaukee zoo and toured Miller brewing. Darn kid has been doing more than me!
 
It's on the news right now, wow, all that snow in May. Good thing you didn't get your garden started during your time away from the TV and computer. Well, hopefully, you didn't! Sometimes procrastinating is a good thing!
 
There is an organic landscaping company that I really want to go to work for. On the phone it sounded very promising. The lady I talked to seemed very interested in me and told me how to send in my resume. Can a resume just be a long letter, separated into short paragraphs? Besides some weekend courses through the local college, I really have no formal education. But I am both artistic and I have a green thumb, plus I am obsessed with organic growing practices. Eager to share my knowledge and also learn.

I need a real job!!! A steady paycheck, some insurance I can keep our bills paid. This waiting for crops to grow, waiting for berries to come into season, waiting for trees to grow, waiting for chickens to grow big enough to start laying eggs... isn't cutting the mustard.
 
Well, I am a fast typer, already typed up my resume and sent it in. Also, this morning I did go see my shrink. He prescribed me something to aid the insomniac pills. I told him the only way they work is to drink a beer or 2 with them. He said that's not a good idea. Told him I kick, scream, punch, talk, and bite in my sleep(not to mention kill people in my dreams). Oh, and scratch, once I scratched hubby and bit him in my sleep. This is one of the reasons we have separate beds now. My head doctor thinks if I can just sleep soundly at night, everything will be fine. Not sure if he is correct.
 
Ruralbrew welcome back! I can't even imagine snow right now. I just finished weekend yard work and it's getting hot here. I sometimes miss the snow but occasional trips to my hometown during Illinois winters reminds me of how much I don't really miss snow and cold. :D
 
My head doctor thinks if I can just sleep soundly at night, everything will be fine. Not sure if he is correct.

I think he's probably correct. A good night's sleep is good for the soul. When well rested you are able to deal with problems better and what once might have been driving you not to sleep at night doesn't anymore. On the contrary if you aren't sleeping well even trivial problems can become overwhelming and at night keeps a person tossing and turning and that becomes a downward spiral. I know you have some major stuff to deal with, extraordinary stress not trivial issues but still believe a good sleep will help a lot. I hope the meds work and you starting resting well. I've been dealing with insomnia issues the last year or so. Life is always a lot brighter and problems seem smaller on days I've had a good night's sleep.
 
Sleep is the elixir (well, the other elixir after beer ;) ) for the body and mind. I'm not nearly eloquent enough to phrase it properly, so I borrowed someone else's prose...


To Sleep
BY JOHN KEATS

O soft embalmer of the still midnight,
Shutting, with careful fingers and benign,
Our gloom-pleas'd eyes, embower'd from the light,
Enshaded in forgetfulness divine:
O soothest Sleep! if so it please thee, close
In midst of this thine hymn my willing eyes,
Or wait the "Amen," ere thy poppy throws
Around my bed its lulling charities.
Then save me, or the passed day will shine
Upon my pillow, breeding many woes,—
Save me from curious Conscience, that still lords
Its strength for darkness, burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed Casket of my Soul.
 
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