I do not care for _ _ _ _ _

[Qhrumphf]

The neighbor a couple houses over who lets his dog out every morning, promptly at 5:00. That dog barks constantly for a half hour or more before they let him back in. The weather finally cooled off here so that we can sleep with the windows open, but I lose that last hour of sleep to "yap yap yap..."

Sling up a catapult in the appropriate window. Air deliver sausages. Dog shuts up. He's happy. Everyone's happy.

I don't care for work. I don't think I'm going to go any more.

 

[rlmiller10]

Sling up a catapult in the appropriate window. Air deliver sausages. Dog shuts up. He's happy. Everyone's happy.

I don't care for work. I don't think I'm going to go any more.

Slick antifreeze soaked burger balls for a longer term solution

 

[DrunkleJon]

Slick antifreeze soaked burger balls for a longer term solution

Napalm. Nothing beats napalm.

 

[PatrickGoss]

Napalm. Nothing beats napalm.

That's funny.... Cause one thing I do not care for.... Hot dogs!

 

[DrunkleJon]

That's funny.... Cause one thing I do not care for.... Hot dogs!

Hot? That would make it damn near crispy.

And I was referring to the neighbors house rather than the dog. The dog cant help it its owner being an ****** and not being respectful.

 

[day_trippr]

Frogs living on my barbecue grill

We pretty much cook everything outside whenever possible just because, and this year virtually every time I've uncovered the grill there's been a pair of frogs perched on the prep surfaces.

This grill is on our second story deck, but that doesn't slow these li'l bastids down a moment. I toss them to the ground, they're back the next evening.

Yesterday I finally relocated the wee beasties a good 300 feet away over the rear lot line, but I just now uncovered the grill and there they were, blinking at me. WTF!

I don't understand the attraction - there aren't any flies or moths or anything swarming around the grill

So I just took them 300 feet in the other direction - on the other side of the road.
Secretly hoping they end up as frog pancakes...

Cheers!

 

[normonster]

Give em a taste of a good imperial stout...if they're anything like 99% of Americans that will keep em away. Lol

 

[drainbamage]

Sounds like a blessing in disguise...haven't you ever had frog legs?

 

[PatrickGoss]

Sounds like a blessing in disguise...haven't you ever had frog legs?

This.

Eat them... Then hope replacements move in.

 

[tomchukj]

When you get on an elevator, only to find someone gassed it and got off the floor before, then you ride it to your floor holding your nose, only to have a female coworker get on after you and thinking what a disgusting person you were for ripping arse on an elevator...

I do this or drop one as I am leaving a check-out line allowing the next one to be blamed. Sorry I am that guy. I call them "warm muffins"

 

[smurfjuice]

AKA crop dusting ...

 

[normonster]

AKA crop dusting ...

What about crop dusting mishaps? I hate those too. Thinkin you'll be all sly, maybe drop a light dusting out front of the boss' office then BANG! Backfire level decibels shot out your arse!

 

[day_trippr]

Muther %$#@&^!


These two are gonna go for a car ride this time...

Cheers! (Hitchcock's got nothing on this )

 

[LAHammer]

You need to tag 'em to see if the same ones are coming back.

My guess is that you've got a few (thousand) of them around and when you move 2 out, 2 more move in.

Good luck! We have 'em laying eggs in our fountain on our back porch. About every week, several hundred tadpoles swimming around in there.

:frog:

 

[PatrickGoss]

Muther %$#@&^!

View attachment 296231



These two are gonna go for a car ride this time...



Cheers! (Hitchcock's got nothing on this )

I wish the food delivered itself to my grill.

 

[day_trippr]

Honest, I've never been good at eating wildlife, aside from the deer I've bagged (they're "near 'nuff" to cows I guess) .
The idea of eating frog parts might bring up all the beer I've been drinking today

We're pretty sure these are the same two miscreants that have been nesting on my grill for well over a month now.
They're always the same size (one small, the other large) and they have some markings that seem unique enough.

But I can't swear to it: yesterday a contractor replacing a facia board on the roof found one of those same type of frogs under it. So....

We do have a pond on the property that has so many frogs and small catfish that herons come to graze (indeed I watched a freaky big GBH down a bullfrog earlier this afternoon). So we probably have a rather large supply of replacements.

But...we've only ever - and always - found two frogs - one small, the other large - every single time.
Which makes me think the grill isn't a well-publicized attraction and these two just happened to find their own Shangri-La and just can't quit it...

Cheers!

 

[day_trippr]

Oh - and while I'm at it: At 60-something years of age, I do not care to be friggin' carded - just to buy a pack of Nicorette.

"I mean, really? You think I'm under 18?!"

Cheers! ("Seriously?!?" )

 

[Schol-R-LEA]

Oh - and while I'm at it: At 60-something years of age, I do not care to be friggin' carded - just to buy a pack of Nicorette.

"I mean, really? You think I'm under 18?!"

Actually, I imagine it is more along the lines of 'I want to keep my job and not go to jail'. And before you ask, yes, it is a felony in many jurisdictions to sell nicotine or alcohol products without asking for ID, no matter whether the person is of age or not. And even if you aren't arrested, in most chain stores it is a firing offense, again, without regard to the customer's age.

It may sound crazy, but it is easier for the legislators to pass a blanket law, and for the companies to enforce one, than to try to make a more reasonable-seeming law that deals with the edge cases (like someone who looks like they are fifteen but are actually thirty, or the reverse) in an workable manner. As silly as it sounds, the obvious solutions have proven to be worse from a law-enforcement and public safety perspective. It's a strange world...

 

[day_trippr]

If I was the pimple-faced teen ringing me up, I'd bang in some random birthdate that yielded a greater-than-21 age and not be a total idiot about it.

But, that's me...

Cheers!

 

[slym2none]

1) this thread
2) lists
3) irony

 

[lumpher]

My dentist is a great guy, and a fantastic dentist, but I want you to picture this... I tell him the tooth that had the botched crown years ago is killing me, I cant sleep, cant eat. He takes another look at the x-ray and confirms. "James, the infection under the tooth is serious. The tooth has to come out." He could have told me he had to shoot me in the thigh and I would have agreed at that point.

4000 shots of novacane. My face feels like a pincushion today after all that. He grabs what looks like linoleum printmaking tools and goes to work twisting and turning. I'm used to him being gentle as a soap bubble so I mumble out loud "oooouch!"

Now picture a thick Russian accent from a very quiet man. "James, I need to warn you that the infected area is not going to respond well to anesthesia. You are going to feel some pain because we are saving as much bone as possible for a possible implant later."

I'm suddenly wondering if I might not be a Christian after all...

Twisting continues and I am in a flop sweat. What feels like an eon later, the bastard comes out. I kept it in an envelope... its nasty looking. I start to thank him and undo my little paper bib. "No. I am sorry. We have to get the infection out."

Sweet merciful God.

He pulls out what looks like the world's smallest series of spatulas and starts scraping inside the socket left behind.

I fainted for a few seconds, no lie, and when I came to he was still going.

I actually asked if I could leave now. "I just need to do the stitches, you did great"

My wife bundles me into the car, we have the windows open so I dont pass out, and when we get back to the house she breaks some more bad news. "James I almost passed out in the doctor's office, I have I have a serious fever."

Turns out she has strep.

I was going to post something frivolous, but after this I just don't have the heart

 

[Twinky]

Kentucky bourbon. I love whiskey, drink Jack like milk, and scotch is what heaven tastes like. I don't know what they did to burbon to make it unbearable, but its an abomination.

 

[drainbamage]

Kentucky bourbon. I love whiskey, drink Jack like milk, and scotch is what heaven tastes like. I don't know what they did to burbon to make it unbearable, but its an abomination.

I'll take your share!

 

[normonster]

I'll take your share!

You're an angel. [emoji56]

 

[drainbamage]

You're an angel. [emoji56]

I see what you did there.

I'd make a bourbon pun, but it would just stave off further discussion.

 

[slym2none]

I am trying to make a cooper joke work here, and am failing...

 

[j1n]

Oh - and while I'm at it: At 60-something years of age, I do not care to be friggin' carded - just to buy a pack of Nicorette.

"I mean, really? You think I'm under 18?!"

Cheers! ("Seriously?!?" )

i thought the general rule was if you look 30 then you dont need to be carded.

ive heard this multiple times before too.

im 31 and last time i was at the liquor store the guy says to me "sorry bro, gotta see your ID, you dont look 30 yet" i guess i can take that as a compliment.

but then again ive seen a 60+ yr old guy flip the *** out on a guy working at the gas station for getting carded for trying to buy some cigs. his response was "LOOK AT ME, FUKIN LOOK AT ME". i had a good chuckle.

 

[day_trippr]

lol!

Irony is everywhere.
In my whole life I think I've been carded twice....before turning 60-something, anyway.

This same store offers Senior Discounts.
I bet I could make that kids head explode....

Cheers!

 

[drainbamage]

When you're sitting in a right turn lane waiting for an opening to turn, and some jackwad pulls up in the left turn lane and continually creeps forward so you can't see anything around them.

Bonus Don't Care For points if they're driving a big jacked-up truck that can already see over your car in the first place.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Jury duty.