How to become an illegal

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kb9vzh

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Someone sent this to me today and thought I would share it.


Original Becoming Illegal: An actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his Senator

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter wou ld receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition
rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,


Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA
 
Sad.. but true! Up here in NE Ohio, we have a lot of illegal "seasonal" workers. They're making pretty good money, paying no taxes, and completely abusing the system. Can't even tell you the percentage of "illegals" to "legals" in our local jails. The emergency rooms are filled with them and you basically need to speak Spanish in order to feel like you "fit in". Wouldn't it be nice if OUR government helped out the real, tax-paying citizens of the United States? Oh wait.. at least we can look forward to goverment health care in the near future. Nevermind, I already have insurance.... I can't wait to PAY for OTHERS' insurance, that's what I meant to say!
 
My coworker has family in Connecticut and he said he went to the Wal-Mart there while visiting and everyone including the cashers and helpers were speaking Spanish. He did say they could speak English if you spoke English to them but due to the high number of Spanish speaking customers that was what he heard mostly.
 
Can this be applied to other crimes committed over a five year period? I'm thinking of taking up bank robbery. :)
 
If this was directed at me I never said they were illegal, just all speaking spanish.


By the way, this guy is Phillipino and just came to this country about 10 years ago. Has a stong accent but can speak, read and write english well. His comment was he thinks it is disrespectful not to learn the language of the country you live in and to expect the country to cater to your needs and change to suit you. I work with many forigeners from around the world and they all speak, read and write english when dealing with americans and they too feel the same way. Maybe it is an education thing instead of disrespect, I am not sure.
 
I can totally understand it being a "respect thing" to learn the language when coming to another country, and kudos to your friend. You can't immigrate somewhere and expect to get anywhere in life if you don't learn the language. I am not American, and I had to learn how to say "y'all" and "rowt" and "abowt" when I immigrated from Canada... :D

That said - the USA does not have an official national language (although many states have adopted English as such), so as it stands the notion that English is the language of America is a majority rules thing. That may change in the future... ;)
 
About the original letter I think he misses the point of that legislation entirely. If you offer no path to citizenship then illegals remain so and never pay taxes until they're deported at tax payers expense. The only response I would expect to that letter is that illegals work off the books cash jobs and while its illegal in both cases a US citizen can do that too.
 
I can totally understand it being a "respect thing" to learn the language when coming to another country, and kudos to your friend. You can't immigrate somewhere and expect to get anywhere in life if you don't learn the language. I am not American, and I had to learn how to say "y'all" and "rowt" and "abowt" when I immigrated from Canada... :D

That said - the USA does not have an official national language (although many states have adopted English as such), so as it stands the notion that English is the language of America is a majority rules thing. That may change in the future... ;)

It looks like Canada itself decided to declare an official language only a mere 40 years ago. Perhaps it is time for us to do the same. Do that or we could all move to Canada, become the majority vote there, change the name and declare English the official language. Actually, I think we are working on that already. :D
 
It looks like Canada itself decided to declare an official language only a mere 40 years ago. Perhaps it is time for us to do the same. Do that or we could all move to Canada, become the majority vote there, change the name and declare English the official language. Actually, I think we are working on that already. :D

Canada has 2 official languages for the most part (English and French), though certain provinces/territories do not always consign to them.

Actually, At least once during just about every session in the US congress someone tries to push the official English language legislation and it gets shot down every time.

Canada already has government health care. They also pay about 50% income tax too.

HUH?
Canada tax rates:
* 15% on the first $40,726 of taxable income, +
* 22% on the next $40,726 of taxable income (on the portion of taxable income between $40,726 and $81,452), +
* 26% on the next $44,812 of taxable income (on the portion of taxable income between $81,452 and $126,264), +
* 29% of taxable income over $126,264.


Its more the high taxes on gasoline, booze and cigarettes and various luxury items that pay for health care, not income taxes.
 
I can totally understand it being a "respect thing" to learn the language when coming to another country, and kudos to your friend. You can't immigrate somewhere and expect to get anywhere in life if you don't learn the language. I am not American, and I had to learn how to say "y'all" and "rowt" and "abowt" when I immigrated from Canada... :D

That's funny... I've lived in the US my whole life and never learned to say "y'all", nor will I ever say it.

Now, if you want to go oot and aboot in your Mazz-duh while wearing nothing but sawks, go for it.

I guess I can speak Canadian, eh?
 
Canada has 2 official languages for the most part (English and French), though certain provinces/territories do not always consign to them.

Actually, At least once during just about every session in the US congress someone tries to push the official English language legislation and it gets shot down every time.



HUH?
Canada tax rates:
* 15% on the first $40,726 of taxable income, +
* 22% on the next $40,726 of taxable income (on the portion of taxable income between $40,726 and $81,452), +
* 26% on the next $44,812 of taxable income (on the portion of taxable income between $81,452 and $126,264), +
* 29% of taxable income over $126,264.


Its more the high taxes on gasoline, booze and cigarettes and various luxury items that pay for health care, not income taxes.

Yeah I know, that is why I said that. :D

I am off for a 4 day weekend and going to brew too, have a nice weekend yo! :ban:
 
About the original letter I think he misses the point of that legislation entirely. If you offer no path to citizenship then illegals remain so and never pay taxes until they're deported at tax payers expense. The only response I would expect to that letter is that illegals work off the books cash jobs and while its illegal in both cases a US citizen can do that too.

There is a path for citizenship. There always has been one some people just don't want to follow. There just looking for a hand out. Let me ask you this. Do you think they would all learn english for you in mexico? Hell no! Its funny I grew up in Cali. and people talked about this problem since I was a kid and no one out east ever cared. Now that it has spread threw out the country you hear more people complain. My guess is most who support this kinda bill don't have illegals in there area yet. Send them home.
 
and yet they still seem to come to America to get proper emergency medical care.. hmmmm

Never been to America for emergency medical care. In fact, I don't know of ANYBODY who's gone to America for emergency medical care. I do know that bus loads of seniors come up here to buy medicine. Seems it's much more expensive in your PROPER system.

Based on that article, at $110,000 USD (~$120,000 CAD) you pay the top rate of 48%. I think thats pretty damn near 50%. And thats just your federal income tax. That doesn't include any provincial taxes and also you value added tax (vat) and any local sales tax. I'm sure your combined tax rate ends up exceeding 50%. And BTW, $110,000 isn't that much..

Doesn't appear that you even read the article. The highest tax bracket only applies to income earned ABOVE $120,000. Everything below is taxed at various different rates. It specifically gives the example of $125,000 in income. It's just over 32%. The article also specifically mentions that it's BOTH federal and provincial tax together.
 
I think emergency Medical care was the wrong term. But my Canukian friends say if its major and you want it done within 48 months you go to USA. If its a transplant your more likely to die. Which istn far off from USA.
 
I think emergency Medical care was the wrong term. But my Canukian friends say if its major and you want it done within 48 months you go to USA. If its a transplant your more likely to die. Which istn far off from USA.

True, it would be kind of silly to go to the US if you needed emergency care. The very term implies that immediacy is required and crossing the border and all its attendant delays would likely be lethal. The other wrong term was the word 'proper' when contrasting our health care with yours. In some cases there are delays in getting elective care, but emergency surgery is never withheld and you can bet it's quality work.
 
Doesn't appear that you even read the article. The highest tax bracket only applies to income earned ABOVE $120,000. Everything below is taxed at various different rates. It specifically gives the example of $125,000 in income. It's just over 32%. The article also specifically mentions that it's BOTH federal and provincial tax together.

After reading the article, I can now understand why my clients (or maybe "customers" is a better term) were saying that they pay close to 50% of their income in taxes.
If you earned $125,000 you would be in the highest "Marginal Tax Bracket" subject to the highest "Marginal Tax Rate" of 46.41%, but that rate of 46.41% ONLY applies to the income over $120,888.
That may not have been what they were really paying, just that they were in that particular tax bracket. I didn't ask for clarification when one of them said that, I just took their word for it.

One thing that the article didn't mention is deductions. Here in the States, we can deduct home mortgage interest, medical bills, and certain other expenses from our final tax bill. Is there anything like that in Canada?
 
One thing that the article didn't mention is deductions. Here in the States, we can deduct home mortgage interest, medical bills, and certain other expenses from our final tax bill. Is there anything like that in Canada?

All of the above. We don't have flat taxes either. One of the highest deductions are for political party donations. It's about 75% deductible. Much higher than medical costs or charitable donations.
 
About the original letter I think he misses the point of that legislation entirely. If you offer no path to citizenship then illegals remain so and never pay taxes until they're deported at tax payers expense. The only response I would expect to that letter is that illegals work off the books cash jobs and while its illegal in both cases a US citizen can do that too.

How many illegals here make enough to have to pay taxes regardless of status? They could pay 20 years of back taxes and the total would be the same - $0. In fact, if we then extend the same breaks as some others get we could owe them money! Overall a silly argument, IMO...
 
There is a path for citizenship. There always has been one some people just don't want to follow. There just looking for a hand out. Let me ask you this. Do you think they would all learn english for you in mexico? Hell no! Its funny I grew up in Cali. and people talked about this problem since I was a kid and no one out east ever cared. Now that it has spread threw out the country you hear more people complain. My guess is most who support this kinda bill don't have illegals in there area yet. Send them home.

Maybe you should learn to speak/write English first before giving other people advice on the language.
 
Maybe you should learn to speak/write English first before giving other people advice on the language.

Not nice. :mad:

Is it a requirement that you have perfect grammar and syntax in order to debate?

Just flipping you some crap buddy. Or more correctly (I think).

Pardon me fine sir, but I truly do not think that the way a person composes sentence dictation is an accurate assessment of their intelligence.
 
Not nice. :mad:
Pardon me fine sir, but I truly do not think that the way a person composes sentence dictation is an accurate assessment of their intelligence.

No, It just tells you if they are lazy...:D
 
Not nice. :mad:

Is it a requirement that you have perfect grammar and syntax in order to debate?

Just flipping you some crap buddy. Or more correctly (I think).

Pardon me fine sir, but I truly do not think that the way a person composes sentence dictation is an accurate assessment of their intelligence.

I would let it fly except he was trying to make an argument about people not learning the language. It is essentially the same as trying to ban homebrewing because you heard it can make you go blind.

How am I supposed to respect the "Mexicans need to learn English" argument (which I agree with, by the way) when it comes from somebody who doesn't even have a handle on the language himself?
 
I know! We can revive the sale of Indulgences. In Congress alone, we could sell hundreds for "Having sex with someone other than my spouse." and charge an extra 10% if the "other" was of the same sex or not a US citizen.
 
I know! We can revive the sale of Indulgences. In Congress alone, we could sell hundreds for "Having sex with someone other than my spouse." and charge an extra 10% if the "other" was of the same sex or not a US citizen.

Now that's something I could get behind! badum-bump:ban:!
 
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