How in the hell do I get a cornie lid open? I've bled off the pressure, but the lid is not coming up when I pull the fastener. 


Flip the buckle, then push the lid back in (May stick), and give it 1/4 turn and wiggle it out.
For the record...It's not the stupidest question I've ever heard.
I agree with the others - it's not a stupid question at all if you don't know how the kegs work.I was pulling with everything I had not realizing I needed to push it IN the keg.
I have a designated rubber mallet that stands witness to the skin lost on my knuckles...