Funny things you've overheard about beer

[Greg1Cruickshank]

Did I inadvertently cause offence?
That last comment seemed a little more attacking and less 'funny things we've heard'...

But at the end of the day, you're probably right. For all I know you may be a BJCP judge. I'm just a guy who, like I said, probably has a sucky ability to pick up neuances like coffee in a lot of stouts.

 

[slym2none]

My brew-bro, last time we brewed together, asked me how much Scotch he needs to make a Scotch Ale.

He likes Scotch ales. He has drank many of them. I had to ask how much Scotch flavour he ever got from one, and he said "none".

I told him that's how much Scotch he needs.

 

[GrogNerd]

My brew-bro, last time we brewed together, asked me how much Scotch he needs to make a Scotch Ale.

He likes Scotch ales. He has drank many of them. I had to ask how much Scotch flavour he ever got from one, and he said "none".

I told him that's how much Scotch he needs.

well done

but still doesn't really answer the question of how much Scotch he needs

 

[slym2none]

Context!



Besides, he has half a fifth of some 18-year old Chivas that was given to him. GIVEN to him. He has all he needs

 

[DrunkleJon]

My brew-bro, last time we brewed together, asked me how much Scotch he needs to make a Scotch Ale.

He likes Scotch ales. He has drank many of them. I had to ask how much Scotch flavour he ever got from one, and he said "none".

I told him that's how much Scotch he needs.

I would have responded that he needs just as much as it will take for the Hot Scotchies that he is going to drink while brewing.

 

[Bosh]

I would say it's not a very good idea to nitpick about someone's description of what typical according to style if you're not going to take into consideration THE style guidelines.

Meh, IIRC roasted unmalted barley has only been commonly used in stouts for less than a century (I believe Guiness started using it in the 1930's) and the style has been around for LONG before that so I don't think it's anything essential to the style. Plenty of good stouts don't have any unmalted barley.

 

[joshesmusica]

Meh, IIRC roasted unmalted barley has only been commonly used in stouts for less than a century (I believe Guiness started using it in the 1930's) and the style has been around for LONG before that so I don't think it's anything essential to the style. Plenty of good stouts don't have any unmalted barley.

The point about the guidelines was more about the notes of coffee, not the roasted unmalted barley. Which according to the BJCP 2015 style guidelines that I linked above, every single stout style mentioned coffee as one of the main descriptors in flavor.

If we really wanted to get historical, then, no of course they didn't have coffee flavors, as historical "stouts" didn't even have to be dark. They were stout because they were strong.

But nowadays it's a different story. If someone wants to differentiate between a stout and a porter, there's not really a need to go back and tell us what they used to be 100 years ago. Only what they are now.

I was just giving the guy a hard time for being fairly incorrect in his funny thing he overheard about beer. It happens often on this thread. It's just another way to keep it funny.

 

[GrogNerd]

The BigHair takes me to Red Lobsterfest for VD dinner and the beer menu reads "ask about our local craft beer selection"

So I ask and the kid behind the bar says "Lagunitas?"

We're in Virginia.

All they really had was the 3 BMC lites, Yuengling, Shock Top, Boston Lager & SA Winter Lager

I had a coke

 

[StoutFan]

One of my favorites is the "I don't chew my beer" when asked if they want to try anything darker than a BMC.

 

[slym2none]

The BigHair takes me to Red Lobsterfest for VD dinner and the beer menu reads "ask about our local craft beer selection"

So I ask and the kid behind the bar says "Lagunitas?"

We're in Virginia.

All they really had was the 3 BMC lites, Yuengling, Shock Top, Boston Lager & SA Winter Lager

I had a coke

"Ask about our non-existent local craft beer selection!"

 

[Bosh]

"Ask about our non-existent local craft beer selection!"

Sam Adams isn't that bad. Except the cherry wheat and the Octoberfest, ye god those things are barely possible to choke down.

 

[Jwin]

Sam Adams isn't that bad. Except the cherry wheat and the Octoberfest, ye god those things are barely possible to choke down.

Or *gag* White Christmas

 

[Wolfdust]

I had to dump the SA maple pecan porter. That was some awful stuff.

 

[ThatVideoKid]

It's also not local craft beer though

 

[GrogNerd]

I guess they count Bud Light, brewed down in Williamsburg or Coors Light, brewed in Elkton

 

[slym2none]

It's also not local craft beer though

I am glad someone picked up on that.

 

[kombat]

As seen on the Clocktower Brewpub's website, a popular brew pub in Ottawa. They've been around for a long time and were one of Ottawa's original brew pubs. Their beers are fairly well regarded locally, I'm surprised to see such flagrant misinformation on their website. Even setting aside the fact that the "hops enabled the beer to survive the voyage from England to India" myth that's been debunked in Mitch Steele's "IPA" book, how did the "more hops = more alcohol" nonsense make it past the editor?

 

[Redlantern]

As seen on the Clocktower Brewpub's website, a popular brew pub in Ottawa. They've been around for a long time and were one of Ottawa's original brew pubs. Their beers are fairly well regarded locally, I'm surprised to see such flagrant misinformation on their website. Even setting aside the fact that the "hops enabled the beer to survive the voyage from England to India" myth that's been debunked in Mitch Steele's "IPA" book, how did the "more hops = more alcohol" nonsense make it past the editor?

I am also interested in the comment about it being rare that IPA's can be light in color....

 

[GrogNerd]

let's also mock their use of a possessive apostrophe for the plural of IPA

that's on topic, right?

or is that the Epic Picture/Meme thread. I get confused

 

[jimdkc]

...how did the "more hops = more alcohol" nonsense make it past the editor?

Not to mention misspelling "thereby"...

And it's rare for an IPA to be light in color???

And the color somehow helps balance the hops???

 

[hunter_le five]

or is that the Epic Picture/Meme thread. I get confused

Both threads are rapidly approaching the Singularity.

 

[BrewinBromanite]

I'd be embarrassed to share what I drank at that age lol.

My favorite was OP's. Other people's! [emoji482]. (Stole that from my FIL, but still true.)

 

[joshesmusica]

And then there's the use of flavorful in one sentence, and flavour in the next.

And that they consider 5.8% to be high in alcohol?

Other than that when they're describing their ipa, keep in mind they're talking about the supposed traditional/original style, not the version of the style we have today.

Although to be honest it sounds like they were just wanting to be cheap on the ingredients. Add a little more caramel malt than normal, drop any simple sugar additions, throw in only bittering hops, not much going into late additions, no dry hopping, boom! Traditional English ipa!

 

[andrewmaixner]

let's also mock their use of a possessive apostrophe for the plural of IPA

that's on topic, right?

or is that the Epic Picture/Meme thread. I get confused

Absolutely, someone's incorrect use of apostrophe's i's alway's fair game for a good mocking!

 

[BrewinBromanite]

As seen on the Clocktower Brewpub's website, a popular brew pub in Ottawa. They've been around for a long time and were one of Ottawa's original brew pubs. Their beers are fairly well regarded locally, I'm surprised to see such flagrant misinformation on their website. Even setting aside the fact that the "hops enabled the beer to survive the voyage from England to India" myth that's been debunked in Mitch Steele's "IPA" book, how did the "more hops = more alcohol" nonsense make it past the editor?

What if they are just trolling?!? [emoji79]

Nahhh, they're Canadians. [emoji16]

 

[BrewinBromanite]

I am also interested in the comment about it being rare that IPA's can be light in color....

I don't get it. That is some dark a$s beer right there!

 

[biochemedic]

I don't get it. That is some dark a$s beer right there!

Yeah, cause, ya know, flavor = color in the mind of the BMCers!

 

[m00ps]

As seen on the Clocktower Brewpub's website, a popular brew pub in Ottawa. They've been around for a long time and were one of Ottawa's original brew pubs. Their beers are fairly well regarded locally, I'm surprised to see such flagrant misinformation on their website. Even setting aside the fact that the "hops enabled the beer to survive the voyage from England to India" myth that's been debunked in Mitch Steele's "IPA" book, how did the "more hops = more alcohol" nonsense make it past the editor?

Dunno what hops you are using but the Pacific Gem I just tossed into my saison was 15.5% abv!!!!!!!!
It'll make it around the world

 

[BrewinBromanite]

In-law's have been at our house for a week and a half (and I'm still sort of sane). Last night, we get to talking about breakfast stouts, and how they are occasionally imbibed on a weekend morning. I made the comment that, so long as you don't dip into some imperial bourbon barrel high ABV stout too early in the morning, that they won't knock you out for the day. MIL says: "I got your FIL one a little while back that he really liked, it was Imperial chocolate vanilla stout." She emphasized the "Imperial" part, so I innocently inquired: "Nice. What brand?" Her response: "Imperial." Brief silence, and I just stated: "Oh, cool...." They're leaving tomorrow, so I just moved on and sipped my scotch.

 

[BrewinBromanite]

Another one about from the in-laws. They are permanent RV'rs since about 8 years ago, and probably for the next 5 at least. Took FIL to the LBHS the other day to get some extra hops to dry hop with, along with a new hydrometer (which I broke shortly after using it ONCE...another story...). The whole drive down to the LBHS and back he was very inquisitive about the whole process, and he's known I've homebrewed for a few years. He is very interested in brewing from the RV. They only stay in one spot for 3 weeks, then move on to the next destination. I answered all his questions, and he thinks he might be able to brew as soon as he lands in one spot, with enough time to get into plastic PET bottles before having to depart for the next. Stepping back in the conversation just a bit, at one point, he commented: "Ya know what, I don't think I'll bottle at all. I think I'll just use the bucket and spigot and be done with it" Explained to him that while fermented beer is "ready" after 2-3 weeks --- you either have to carb it up in bottles, or purchase a kegging set up (which is out of the question with their space constraints). He kind of had a brief light-bulb moment, and we moved on. (Not as bad as my aunt making a comment, assuming you could drink the beer within hours after brewing...).