Funny things you've overheard about beer

[slym2none]

That... is awesome!!!

 

[masonsjax]

Redneck = A glorious absence of sophistication.

 

[jimdkc]

Not only is that Modern Times Honda Fit story awesome, but on their website, they have some very interesting sounding beers... and they provide homebrew recipes for most of them!

http://moderntimesbeer.com/beer/year-round

http://moderntimesbeer.com/beer/seasonal

http://moderntimesbeer.com/beer/special-release

 

[ElJefeBrews]

Modern times is awesome. I am blessed to have them just right down the street

 

[Twinky]

I fianly read through all this thread, took a few months but Im finally caught up, and to top it all off I have a slightly amusing thing I heard about beer.
At my cousin's batchlor party we got a little carried away, what started with some friendly beer pong quickly devolved in to Bacardi pong and thus the downward spiral began. At the end of the night me and my buddy Jeffery were the only ones still standing ( more leaning in a standing like manner). And lo there was still beer left, the majority of a brick of Sam Adam's chocolate bock. We decided to see if we could finish it, which we did. Poor old Jeffery hit the floor shortly after he finished his last beer, a moment later he proceeds to empty himself on the carpet. With the last of his might he looks up and proclaims "it tastes like chocolate." and promptly drifts off to dream lands with his puddle as a pillow. The next morning as the lot of us fianly come to, everyone much worse for wear, Jeffery starts asking questions and the night before, mostly involving why the world smells and tastes like a Hershey bar. 3 days later at the wedding he told me that he still smells chocolate.

 

[drainbamage]

Not only is that Modern Times Honda Fit story awesome, but on their website, they have some very interesting sounding beers... and they provide homebrew recipes for most of them!

http://moderntimesbeer.com/beer/year-round

http://moderntimesbeer.com/beer/seasonal

http://moderntimesbeer.com/beer/special-release

...Aaand bookmark. Nice.

 

[m00ps]

Not only is that Modern Times Honda Fit story awesome, but on their website, they have some very interesting sounding beers... and they provide homebrew recipes for most of them!

http://moderntimesbeer.com/beer/year-round

http://moderntimesbeer.com/beer/seasonal

http://moderntimesbeer.com/beer/special-release

You know that all their recipes ( or at least the core ones) were developed by @oldsock aka the mad fermentationist? You can see all the trial iterations in the site

 

[uatuba]

View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1448243612.046921.jpg

 

[Zepth]

"The first red came into existence when they cooked the hops too long."
So much fail.

 

[mattrox]

Just came back from the store. In my cart I had vacuum bags, case of Upland brewing co. variety pack, and a wood floor duster.

Lady cashier - Does not look like a fun day for you
Me - I have beer!
Her - Why do men always need beer when doing chores?
Me -
Her - When I tell my husband to clean and stain the deck he tells me he will need a few beers.
Me - It gets done thought right?
Her - um..well...yea...have a good day.

Exactly, it gets done, so relax on the methodology!

I find a lot of women are task oriented.... It's about how you do it. And get it done quickly too.

A lot of men are goal, or outcome oriented. Did the final product come out well.

Sorry for the post necrophilia, I'm only up to page 200 and sumpin.

 

[mattrox]

That's about the right time for a, 'WEEEEELLLL ACTUALLY...'

It's so funny still reading from page 300, and it pops up at the end too.

Kudos to this thread, delivering from beginning to end. (Except for the statistics and economics lessons)

 

[ericbw]

I fianly read through all this thread, took a few months but Im finally caught up, and to top it all off I have a slightly amusing thing I heard about beer.
At my cousin's batchlor party we got a little carried away, what started with some friendly beer pong quickly devolved in to Bacardi pong and thus the downward spiral began. At the end of the night me and my buddy Jeffery were the only ones still standing ( more leaning in a standing like manner). And lo there was still beer left, the majority of a brick of Sam Adam's chocolate bock. We decided to see if we could finish it, which we did. Poor old Jeffery hit the floor shortly after he finished his last beer, a moment later he proceeds to empty himself on the carpet. With the last of his might he looks up and proclaims "it tastes like chocolate." and promptly drifts off to dream lands with his puddle as a pillow. The next morning as the lot of us fianly come to, everyone much worse for wear, Jeffery starts asking questions and the night before, mostly involving why the world smells and tastes like a Hershey bar. 3 days later at the wedding he told me that he still smells chocolate.

I don't know, man. This sounds more like a "we need to go to meetings" story.

 

[zmanzorro]

"The first red came into existence when they cooked the hops too long."
So much fail.

Change hops to grain, and I'd believe it.

 

[Bosh]

Change hops to grain, and I'd believe it.

You shouldn`t...

 

[mattrox]

Nope. Well, not true for Australia at least. I wouldn't want to be working behind a bar in a pub trying to give Aussies a 500mL glass when they've asked for a Pint hahah.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew

You want to hear something funny.... Australian beer glass sizes.

In South Australia, where I am,
we have Schooners and pints. A schooner is usually a pilsner glass or equivalent size. A pint is a US pint ... A real pint can be had in certain bars. Oh, and there are Butchers. Fable has it because butchers had cut off their fingers they could hold it. Think a small water glass at a restaurant size.

Then you drink in other states and they have Pots. The equivalent of a Schooner. Or Handles, beer mugs.

It's crazy, the non standard sizing in a metric country.

 

[joshesmusica]

What's really not funny is replying to hundreds of 5-year old posts...

 

[tennesseean_87]

There's a local radio add for a bank, and the manager is named John Palmer. Whenever it comes on I forget for a second I'm listening to radio and not beer podcasts.

 

[Roland_deschain]

Let's see......there's too many 'funny' things to list but here's a few of my favorites.

1. The young pups who come into my favorite local craft brew pub and get pissy that they don't have Miller Lite on tap.
2. "You're going to become an alcoholic if you keep brewing so much beer"
3. Sitting at said local pub and listening to the Miller distribution rep try and convince the bartenter( a friend of mine and a craft beer lover of the highest order) that Blue Moon is the best selling craft beer in America and she couldn't understand why they wouldn't keep it on tap regularly. I had to bite my tongue to not chime in.
4. My personal favorite, being told that because I home brew I'm legally a bootlegger and should pray I don't get caught.

 

[GrogNerd]

clearing up the backlog of crap on our DVR, we finally got around to watching the season premiere of Bones (aired 10/1) last night

Hodgens, holding up a flask: exciting news! I've just incubated some super-fast microbes! these guys replicate like nobody's business!
Angela: I like to keep my office a microbe-free zone
Hodgens: but these are Saccharomyces cerevisiae, the building blocks of beer!
Angela: you know, I don't feel bad for not knowing that
Hodgens: We haven't seen Booth in a while, so I wanted to brew him a nice IPA for dinner tonight

:smack:

 

[uatuba]

clearing up the backlog of crap on our DVR, we finally got around to watching the season premiere of Bones (aired 10/1) last night







:smack:

That was the joke. They're super fast.

 

[GrogNerd]

That was the joke. They're super fast.

can anyone source some grain to glass in 8 hours yeast?

 

[kombat]

can anyone source some grain to glass in 8 hours yeast?

It's called Nottingham. Ferment it at 90° F and hold on tight. Blowoff tube recommended.

 

[joshesmusica]

It's called Nottingham. Ferment it at 90° F and hold on tight. Blowoff tube recommended.

Is that basically the same as putting mentos in Coke?

 

[uatuba]

can anyone source some grain to glass in 8 hours yeast?

Evidently, the scientists on the show did...it being a fictional show and all.

 

[mattrox]

So you're saying that you use anal plugs?

Is that some sort of recepticle?

 

[Bosh]

It's called Nottingham. Ferment it at 90° F and hold on tight. Blowoff tube recommended.

Yeah it's completely possible to make a beer in a day with a filter and force carbing. It'll taste like absolute crap but can certainly be done.

 

[FatDragon]

clearing up the backlog of crap on our DVR, we finally got around to watching the season premiere of Bones (aired 10/1) last night

:smack:

I think there must be a rule for writers of mass-market TV shows: they are encouraged to make references to cultural phenomena as long as they're at least three years old and the reference is watered down so as to be a caricature of the actual cultural phenomenon referenced. See: every police procedural's inevitable MMORPG (online video game) and hacktivism/internet stalking episodes. Their "cutting-edge" imaginary video games have graphics that would have embarrassed a game designer a decade ago and every investigator infiltrating a shady web forum spends time instant messaging and emailing the forum members, who he then meets living half a mile away from him.

This is just the craft beer/homebrewing version of that. "I'm gonna brew him up an IPA for dinner" is the homebrewing equivalent of "he's been stalking the other players whose characters are more gooder than his by infecting their computer with an IP address wrapped in a keylogger wrapped in a trojan wrapped in a virus that he attaches to a song that they downloaded from Napster. It's really high-technique, frontline cyber-stalking. Social Media. Computers. Floppy Drives. Ultrabook."

Incidentally, spoiler alert, it's always the co-founder of the social networking platform that made the victim rich. You know, the guy who was bullied out before the IPO that turned it into a bloated corporate nightmare instead of the hip underground project the jilted murderer had designed it to be. He's not doing it because of the money, but to preserve the ideal he was chasing when he created the platform in the first place.

Tangent aside, those Bones writers are probably avid homebrewers themselves. They came up with this great episode-long gag about fast-acting sacc. c. and it got cut down and down and down by some QC guy who insists that the viewers wouldn't understand until it was boiled down to a five-liner with the hip word "IPA" in it.

And now rant aside, the best I can do for a topic-relevant post at the moment would be collecting the champagne bottles from last night's Thanksgiving party at our kindergarten for beer or mead (it was bubbly grape and apple juice, in case you're worried about the state of Chinese kindergarten education). My co-worker made sure to give me the (champagne) corks with the bottles, saying, "I'm not really sure how you're supposed to get them back in the bottles, though."

 

[mattrox]

For me, it's "however sometimes it's left in to add cloudiness."

Yeast is left in to add flavor, not cloudiness. The cloudiness just happens to be a result of leaving the yeast in, but is not the desired effect in and of itself... or so I would argue.

Maybe that's nit-picky though.

Well actually,

Coopers here had a "roll your Coopers" ad campaign for ales bought in bottles at the bar.

Many people roll their Coopers for the cloudiness.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

I think there must be a rule for writers of mass-market TV shows: they are encouraged to make references to cultural phenomena as long as they're at least three years old and the reference is watered down so as to be a caricature of the actual cultural phenomenon referenced. See: every police procedural's inevitable MMORPG (online video game) and hacktivism/internet stalking episodes. Their "cutting-edge" imaginary video games have graphics that would have embarrassed a game designer a decade ago and every investigator infiltrating a shady web forum spends time instant messaging and emailing the forum members, who he then meets living half a mile away from him.

This is just the craft beer/homebrewing version of that. "I'm gonna brew him up an IPA for dinner" is the homebrewing equivalent of "he's been stalking the other players whose characters are more gooder than his by infecting their computer with an IP address wrapped in a keylogger wrapped in a trojan wrapped in a virus that he attaches to a song that they downloaded from Napster. It's really high-technique, frontline cyber-stalking. Social Media. Computers. Floppy Drives. Ultrabook."

Incidentally, spoiler alert, it's always the co-founder of the social networking platform that made the victim rich. You know, the guy who was bullied out before the IPO that turned it into a bloated corporate nightmare instead of the hip underground project the jilted murderer had designed it to be. He's not doing it because of the money, but to preserve the ideal he was chasing when he created the platform in the first place.

Tangent aside, those Bones writers are probably avid homebrewers themselves. They came up with this great episode-long gag about fast-acting sacc. c. and it got cut down and down and down by some QC guy who insists that the viewers wouldn't understand until it was boiled down to a five-liner with the hip word "IPA" in it.

And now rant aside, the best I can do for a topic-relevant post at the moment would be collecting the champagne bottles from last night's Thanksgiving party at our kindergarten for beer or mead (it was bubbly grape and apple juice, in case you're worried about the state of Chinese kindergarten education). My co-worker made sure to give me the (champagne) corks with the bottles, saying, "I'm not really sure how you're supposed to get them back in the bottles, though."

Let's not forget the satanism episode either, those are always super fun.

 

[joshesmusica]

Well actually,

Coopers here had a "roll your Coopers" ad campaign for ales bought in bottles at the bar.

Many people roll their Coopers for the cloudiness.

Seriously, though, what's with this weird quoting everything you've found from years ago thing you're doing?