Funny things you've overheard about beer

[dkwolf]

According to my family, if it isn't yellow, it's dark. Ambers aren't quite as bad as tar like Guinness, but they're still s00per dark too. You can even taste the darkness. Don't ask me how, but apparently you can.

Don't forget the fact that anything darker in color than bud heavy is so thick you have to chew it.

 

[MaxStout]

it's funny how non-beer nerds correlate dark with high ABV percentage. many years ago I brewed a 4% Sweet Stout. I was drinking one when my in-laws were visiting. i heard comments like, "Boy, that looks like it'll mess you up." and "Wow! That looks like a strong beer!" then when you explain to them the lower alcohol content and they glaze over and keep chugging BL (which I still have one or two in the basement).

Pour him a Duvel and tell him it's a "lite" beer.

 

[phug]

Funny things I heard about beer "Guinness blonde American lager"

 

[SupervisingChildren]

Not so much heard, but the new lady at the bowling alley put ice in my pitcher, as well as the people next to us tonight. Had to ask for an iceless pitcher for round #2.

 

[Wiscohio_brewer]

I always get irritated when people say that the beer isn't "complex" enough. Does it taste good? "Yeah." So what's the problem? "It's just not complex enough." What is that all about? Can't people just appreciate something simple and done really well?

 

[ElJefeBrews]

I always get irritated when people say that the beer isn't "complex" enough. Does it taste good? "Yeah." So what's the problem? "It's just not complex enough." What is that all about? Can't people just appreciate something simple and done really well?

Yes but if they admit to enjoying a good simple beer then they don't appear pretentious, oops I mean refined, enough.

 

[n240sxguy]

Yes but if they admit to enjoying a good simple beer then they don't appear pretentious, oops I mean refined, enough.

Yep. Gotta be "refined". I freakin love peanut butter. Is there a more simple flavor? Probably not. To hell with refinement.

 

[n240sxguy]

Just got this email with a couple recipes for some reason. Check out the carne asada recipe. Beer- lager style, preferably Mexican. Is that just for bragging rights? "Well I used 4oz of this random ****ty 'Mexican' lager that I found at Kroger. That makes my steak better than yours." I don't get it.

 

[cyanmonkey]

Do people realize Mexican lagers are German?

 

[hunter_le five]

Do people realize Mexican lagers are German?

Guten Taco!

 

[dkwolf]

Guten Taco!

mmmmmmmmmmmmm...... tacos....

 

[AQUILAS]

This past Saturday, I met up with my girlfriend and her friends for lunch at this local taphouse after a few hours at the skatepark. I was getting a beer and offered to buy the girls any if they wanted. One of them was like, "I don't like beer. It all tastes the same."

I don't think she's ever had any other beer outside of Coors Light or Bud Light. She then asked me to make her a fruity beer, but I'm afraid it'll get lumped in with Coors/Bud and she'll say, "yup, it still tastes like all other beers..."

 

[mesooohoppy]

I was cruisin through my IG feed a week ago and someone claims they were at a supermarket and overheard someone who works there helping someone with fall beers and the worker states 'pumpkin ales and oktoberfests are the same thing'

...WHAT??!!

 

[Venari]

I was cruisin through my IG feed a week ago and someone claims they were at a supermarket and overheard someone who works there helping someone with fall beers and the worker states 'pumpkin ales and oktoberfests are the same thing'

...WHAT??!!

I'm always jealous of people who can buy beer in the store.

 

[agrazela]

Yep. Gotta be "refined". I freakin love peanut butter. Is there a more simple flavor? Probably not. To hell with refinement.

Is that organic, free-trade, clean label peanut butter packaged by a micro-loan, all-women-owned, artisanal peanutbuttery in West Africa?

I didn't think so, cretin.

 

[feinbera]

Is that organic, free-trade, clean label peanut butter packaged by a micro-loan, all-women-owned, artisanal peanutbuttery in West Africa?

I didn't think so, cretin.

I believe the correct term is "peanut churn." People can be so ignorant!

 

[Kiichi]

Yep. Gotta be "refined". I freakin love peanut butter. Is there a more simple flavor? Probably not. To hell with refinement.

Get yourself a bottle of Buxton/Omnipollo´s "Yellow Belly" or "Yellow Belly Sundae" if you can. It´s an imperial peanut butter biscuit stout and glorious. The Sundae version is additionally aged on bourbon barrels with vanilla and cacao. A snickers ice cream float in a glass. Heaven.



Now it´s not exactly beer, but similar, so I´ll put it here:
I was going to a party and had only super cheap boxed red wine, but did not want to bring a full 3L. So I just put some in a bottle and capped it. At the party someone saw me drinking from a beer bottle and wanted to try. Out of reflex I said yes. The dude was probably expecting beer, as anyone who knows me would, and made an irritated face before letting me know that that is pretty decent cider....
Tastebuds are amazing. xD

 

[Venari]

Heard this one over Thanksgiving dinner tonight:

Come
On
Over
Real
Soon

Little
Inuit
Getting
Horny
Tonight

 

[cyanmonkey]

Heard this one over Thanksgiving dinner tonight:

Come
On
Over
Real
Soon

Little
Inuit
Getting
Horny
Tonight

Little Inuit? Lol.

 

[Venari]

We are a short people. Except me. I'm Shaquille O'neal compared to the rest.

 

[n240sxguy]

Get yourself a bottle of Buxton/Omnipollo´s "Yellow Belly" or "Yellow Belly Sundae" if you can. It´s an imperial peanut butter biscuit stout and glorious. The Sundae version is additionally aged on bourbon barrels with vanilla and cacao. A snickers ice cream float in a glass. Heaven.



xD

That sounds good. I'll have to look that one up.

 

[n240sxguy]

Is that organic, free-trade, clean label peanut butter packaged by a micro-loan, all-women-owned, artisanal peanutbuttery in West Africa?



I didn't think so, cretin.

Organic- usually.
Free-trade- don't know if I've seen free trade peanut butter.
Clean label- no idea what that means.
Micro-loan- I have a few outstanding, but this didn't come from them.
All women owned- doubt it.
Artisanal- not this time. I'll see if my friends know of a peanutbuttery in west Africa that meets these specs. They just got back a couple weeks ago.

 

[SharonaZamboni]

Offered beer to a guest, and since he probably wasn't familiar with the local brewery, he asked for something domestic instead. I had a super domestic home brew in my kegerator, but he didn't want that, either.

 

[TheCADJockey]

I had a super domestic home brew in my kegerator, but he didn't want that, either.

Friend came over on Sunday, when I offered him a beer he said he'd love a Coors. I told him I had a dozen different craft beer options of multiple styles for him to try yet he insisted on his choice. I poured him a hb instead. Said it was the best Coors he's ever had.

I was too drunk to tell him the truth.

 

[unionrdr]

Might work to his/your advantage later?

 

[m00ps]

One of SWMBOs friends was over and tries a sip of a hefe I offered her. She goes "its good, but very hoppy" I ask to smell the glass to make sure I didnt pour her a pint of my 26oz imperial IPA. Nope, its the hefe. I asked her what kind of hop flavors she was picking up. She responds "flavors? I dunno, its all hopping around in my mouth, I mean I like it, but its just very hoppy" SWBMO was embarrassed for her

I dont know how on Earth you can go through life thinking carbonation=hops, I shouldve asked her what pepsi tastes like...

 

[fuzzy2133]

... super domestic home brew in my kegerator...

When I get a kegerator I am labeling a handle with that! :rockin:

 

[thatjonguy]

I was too drunk to tell him the truth.

Does not compute.

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

One of SWMBOs friends was over and tries a sip of a hefe I offered her. She goes "its good, but very hoppy" I ask to smell the glass to make sure I didnt pour her a pint of my 26oz imperial IPA. Nope, its the hefe. I asked her what kind of hop flavors she was picking up. She responds "flavors? I dunno, its all hopping around in my mouth, I mean I like it, but its just very hoppy" SWBMO was embarrassed for her

I dont know how on Earth you can go through life thinking carbonation=hops, I shouldve asked her what pepsi tastes like...

So much for my innovative "Hop Candy" idea. Looks like it has been done already

 

[soccerdad]

Oh m00ps, m00ps, m00ps .... there are way too many jokes here.

its all hopping around in my mouth

if your beer does this to women you may be sitting on a gold mine