Funny things you've overheard about beer

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Trippel-A said:
No. Steam is condensed water vapor. Water vapor is invisible.
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In the power industry they talk of wet steam and dry steam. Wet steam has condensed water and you do not want that going into a turbine that is not designed for it. Dry steam is vapor and that is what you want going through your turbine.
 
rlmiller10 said:
In the power industry they talk of wet steam and dry steam. Wet steam has condensed water and you do not want that going into a turbine that is not designed for it. Dry steam is vapor and that is what you want going through your turbine.
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Since you seem to actually know what you're talking about, how about telling us the difference between the two and settle this argument before it devolves into thermodynamics and matter/antimatter conversations.
 
From wikipedia (i'm not busting out textbooks):

-In meteorology, a cloud is a visible mass of liquid droplets or frozen crystals made of water or various chemicals suspended in the atmosphere above the surface of a planetary body.

-Fog is a complex atmospheric phenomenon. It is a visible mass consisting of cloud water droplets or ice crystals suspended in the air at or near the Earth's surface.

-Steam is a term for the gaseous phase of water, which is formed when water boils. Steam is invisible; however, "steam" often refers to the visible mist or aerosol of water droplets formed as this water vapor condenses.

-Water vapor is the gaseous phase of water. It is one state of water within the hydrosphere. Water vapor can be produced from the evaporation or boiling of liquid water or from the sublimation of ice. Unlike other forms of water, water vapor is invisible. Under typical atmospheric conditions, water vapor is continuously generated by evaporation and removed by condensation. It is lighter than air and triggers convection currents that can lead to clouds.
 
Kirkwooder said:
I can brew for a couple years for a grand and buy a **** ton of new equipment to play with. I have said it before and I'll say it again, " A beer that costs more than $10 a pint better cause spontaneous orgasms!"

:goat:
:mug:
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Samuel Smith's Organic Chocolate Stout. .....

I'll YouTube a few girls drinking this for ya... but don't let the kiddos see the video!
 
mark7347 said:
Since you seem to actually know what you're talking about, how about telling us the difference between the two and settle this argument before it devolves into thermodynamics and matter/antimatter conversations.
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With dry steam the temperature is above, and can be very much above, the boiling point (phase change temperature from water to gas is more technically correct) of water for the given pressure. Thus all the water molecules are alone and moving fast. You can't see this, it contains a lot of energy, and if it hits you in any quantity it will cook the meat right off your bones in a matter of seconds.

Wet steam, is really a combination of steam and condensation. The steam has lost enough energy (temperature has dropped) that some of the water molecules have once again joined together in droplets of liquid water. Note, in a pressurized system this may still be well above 212 degrees F.

What people normally call steam, the stuff coming out of the tea kettle is a combination of condensation (not steam but liquid) and low pressure steam. The actual steam is single molecules and can't be seen.
 
rlmiller10 said:
What people normally call steam, the stuff coming out of the tea kettle is a combination of condensation (not steam but liquid) and low pressure steam.
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Wow. After all these years I finally know...

Every time the tea kettle would whistle and I got scared, my grandfather would just laugh and say it was the screams of a thousand dying souls.

Can't drink tea to this day, maybe now the healing can begin. Thank you.
 
rlmiller10 said:
With dry steam the temperature is above, and can be very much above, the boiling point (phase change temperature from water to gas is more technically correct) of water for the given pressure. Thus all the water molecules are alone and moving fast. You can't see this, it contains a lot of energy, and if it hits you in any quantity it will cook the meat right off your bones in a matter of seconds.

Wet steam, is really a combination of steam and condensation. The steam has lost enough energy (temperature has dropped) that some of the water molecules have once again joined together in droplets of liquid water. Note, in a pressurized system this may still be well above 212 degrees F.

What people normally call steam, the stuff coming out of the tea kettle is a combination of condensation (not steam but liquid) and low pressure steam. The actual steam is single molecules and can't be seen.
Click to expand...

Great post! Thank you.
 
rlmiller10 said:
That is actually a little scary. What if such a yeast went wild? Or they build a yeast that creates toxins and it goes wild. You get a wild strain in your fermenter and instead of a sour or off tasting beer you high as a kite or dead.
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I was kind of thinking the same thing myself. The article says it currently only creates a small amount of morphine but they are working on changing that. You know what happens when you mess with nature. And yeast are small enough that a few could escape a lab, I imagine.
 
Yeah, a sort of Jurassic Park, only on a microbial scale. Or, as Dr 13 was told by Superman, " science without conscience is treason to science"...
 
We haven't talked about water vapor lately...

Mist.jpg
 
Yeah, it's a real scare. One time Westy yeast made it all the way to my homebrewery on a cloud of water vapor and I couldn't shake it.
 
Ahhh I just yesterday got asked one of the big ones by a classmate after brewing for over two years: "Oh, you homebrew? Like in the tub?"
Followed by questions about the process: "So what do you use, like just sugar?"
"No, malt, which is...."
"Oh I thought it was like: I have a pint of beer so I just throw in that much table sugar and I´m good."

And that in Sweden which is not the most craft backwards country by a long shot.

Thankfully conversation shifted on nicely from there, especially cause of a girl who used to work at a bar that had Belgian beers. A sour fan actually. Gonna present 4 of my brews on Thursday to some of my class as to their request. Should be fun. Green tea and lemon saison, noble-hopped up sour saison, double mandarin wit, and a Mandarina Bavaria wheat strong ale.
Whish me luck. xD
 
Kiichi said:
Ahhh I just yesterday got asked one of the big ones by a classmate after brewing for over two years: "Oh, you homebrew? Like in the tub?"
Followed by questions about the process: "So what do you use, like just sugar?"
"No, malt, which is...."
"Oh I thought it was like: I have a pint of beer so I just throw in that much table sugar and I´m good."

And that in Sweden which is not the most craft backwards country by a long shot.

Thankfully conversation shifted on nicely from there, especially cause of a girl who used to work at a bar that had Belgian beers. A sour fan actually. Gonna present 4 of my brews on Thursday to some of my class as to their request. Should be fun. Green tea and lemon saison, noble-hopped up sour saison, double mandarin wit, and a Mandarina Bavaria wheat strong ale.
Whish me luck. xD
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Good luck. I love sharing my beer.
 
I do too, but I find established homebrew judges to be less intimidating than regular peeps, cause with the judges I have an idea of what to expect. Regular peeps are just wildcards.

Also a mate of mine is currently visiting NY, a craft beer dream for Swedes in a way, but he also tried some macros for context.
When talking about Bud light after drinking Miller light: "Man, this actually a bit of an aftertaste...why does it have to have an aftertaste? Go away! Just hand me a straw to chug while I hold my nose. At least Miller was beer flavored water in a good way."
 
In the end we all got those "I used to like that stuff?`" moments. I would really love to revisit some more of my first craft brews though. I know that Lion Stout from Sri Lanka is still a suprisingly lovely drinker, though not retaining the wow factor of vanilla and depth. I mean I was used to guinnes and German Schwarzbier. Still will have it everytime I see it since it delivers great mocha for the price.

Now, if I could get some Magic Hat #9 over here in Sweden I´d be hyped. I recall an avalanche of strawberries and other fruits. Ahh the early days. Over 3 years ago. xD

Should set up some beer trading scheme for next years Copenhagen Beer Celebration.

Ok enough derail, get one with funnies....as if.
 
On vacation in Florida and I saw a billboard for keystone light lime. It literally made me laugh while driving and swmbo was looking at me like I was nuts.
 
OK, let's get back to Homebrewing Without Failure and try to avoid talking about the horrors of simmering.

We have a second pale ale recipe, which is a lot like the first except it's a bit darker due to the darker sugar that gets used.

Then we have the Brown Ales. The terror you have seen before is nothing next to the horror you are about to witness.

Let's go with the second recipe since they're pretty similar.

It calls for (for a 4 gallon recipe):
-2 lb roasted malt
-2 lb patent black malt (for a brown ale :confused:)
-4 lb. white sugar (because of course it has this)
-4 oz generic hops
-2 teaspoon salt (all of the other 4 gallon recipes call for 1 teaspoon, no idea why this one needs two but that's really the least of this recipe's problems).
-1/2 oz citric acid.
-Yeast and yeast nutrient

Same method as the last one. In attempting to calculate this recipe we have two problems. First, what the hell is "roasted malt"? That covers a massive spectrum of different malts. As a wild ass guess I'm going to count his roasted malt as UK amber malt. Then there's the issue of his utilization of the Cooking Technique That Shall Not Be Named, I was counting it as whirlpool before, but assuming he's stopping a bit short of the temperature needed to boil the wort I'll assume that it's like boiling but getting, say, 75% of normal hop utilization for the boil time (which is again, a pretty random-assed guess).

So with those caveats (and assuming Safale English yeast and Fuggles hops we get:

Original Gravity: 1.068 Final Gravity: 1.017 ABV: 6.71% IBU: 30.44 SRM: 50.00 Matches Style: what do you ****ing think?

So.... we have a Brown Ale with SRM 50. WHY THE **** WOULD YOU PUT TWO POUNDS OF PATENT BLACK MALT IN A 4 GALLON BATCH OF BROWN ALE? WHY? WHY? WHY?

So this book has two kinds of stupidity. Some seem like just bad ideas that you can believe people would actually do, stuff like adding talk as a yeast nutrient or putting in way too much sugar or mashing without any base malts or mashing for waaaaaaaaay longer than you need or skimming off the krausen etc. etc.

But then there's the other stuff. Like telling you to bottle when you hit 1.005 FG and then giving a recipe that will never ever ever hit that gravity bar an infection or giving a recipe for a midnight black brown ale. How do you brew a beer like that and recommend it to others as a brown ale recipe? How do you give people instructions that are literally impossible to follow? This is making my brain hurt!

Up next, four kinds of stout. Each more horrifying than the last!
 

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