Funny things you've overheard about beer

[n240sxguy]

Yes, there are lots and lots of calories in beer (how much really depends specifically on the beer). Haven't you ever heard people call beer "liquid bread"?

And alcohol (ethanol) is actually pretty dense with calories, just so you know.

On an unfortunate note, the awesome beer home brewers make has like 2-3x the calories that commercial beers have.

 

[Singletrack]

...and now, back to funny

 

[lolznrofls]

...and now, back to funny

+1

 

[wobrien]

@unionrdr posted in both the 'So who's brewing this weekend?' And 'what are you doing instead of brewing this weekend?' threads
View attachment ImageUploadedByHome Brew1420812464.975521.jpg
Space-time continuum collapse imminent

 

[unionrdr]

Yeah I did. Freezin' my Arse off here in the snow belt waiting to get to the store for spring water to brew the next batch. Car fubar'd for the time being & son working till late. Might not be able to brew due to cold & needing to make a starter from yeast that half froze in shipment. So hope to brew but not counting on it 100%...
And yeah, the one guy claimed half the basement for a brew area. I claimed the parlor as my brewery/man cave. If nobody in the house likes it, tough!

 

[Psylocide]

Went here for dinner the other day: http://www.gcfb.net/brewery

Granite City brews all of their own beer (nothing else on tap)... I was all excited looking at the brew room and decided to try the Bock. Well, it was gross. Watery, thin mouthfeel and a strong mildew-y aftertaste.

So, I decide "wth? I'll ask about the flight (12 2 oz beers for $4.95)"

"Excuse me, miss server lady, what are the seasonal brews that come with this flight?"

"Um.......... I think one is an Ale. If you like those."

"Just bring it to me and go away, thanks."

Luckily they had a card that came with it... but every one of them was gross. Thin and watered down, like they dilute them heavily or something... and ALL had the same mildew aftertaste.

Nasty.

 

[fuzzy2133]

Dinner Saturday night (at a Mediterranean place with a fancy liqueur selection) I ask the bar tender what beers they had (none were listed on any menu), after the second one of him explaining what style it is my wife chuckles at my expression, interrupts him to say he is in over his head, stop describing the style and a pale ale is far from "a strong bud light". I was surprised that the 6 beers they had none were owned or connect to one of the BMC's.

Later on the guy really started to scare me with the good old "liqueur has so much sugar in it" claim and the guy claims to be going to some big mixology convention again this year for the 3rd time.

 

[Black Island Brewer]

Are you trying to tell me there are calories in beer?

Edit: I just googled this and it looks like you are correct. Sh*t the bed, I'm going to have rethink this whole thing!

Hmmm...

 

[Psylocide]

L O to the ****ing L.

The quickest solution is to pour a warm beer into your glass, then hold it up around eye level and tell your wife/girlfriend that she’s way overweight and needs to go on a diet or you might accept the advances of her little sister. Her freezing glare will frost up your glass and cool it within 3 seconds! Don’t hold that pose more than 5 seconds or your beer will become frozen, your face will become frost-bitten, and your head will likely be dented by the soon-to-follow rolling pin!

 

[BBQB]

Hmmm...

Hmm, and I'm trying to figure out if people really think I don't know there are calories in beer.
Seriously though, I don't drink calories.

Back to the scheduled programming

 

[worlddivides]

Hmm, and I'm trying to figure out if people really think I don't know there are calories in beer.
Seriously though, I don't drink calories.

Back to the scheduled programming

The No-Calorie Diet. Between -500 and 0 calories a day for a year and you WILL lose weight.

 

[Kirkwooder]

Hmm, and I'm trying to figure out if people really think I don't know there are calories in beer.
Seriously though, I don't drink calories.

Back to the scheduled programming

Are you trying to tell us that you chew your beer therefore you eat it rather than drink it?

 

[Singletrack]

Hmm, and I'm trying to figure out if people really think I don't know there are calories in beer.
Seriously though, I don't drink calories.

Back to the scheduled programming

Ahhh, now you really shouldn't have done that. Of course "we" know. That "they" don't know is what made it fun.

However, as my middle school teacher loved to say when kids were talking, "Lady's aide, come to order!"

Now, if we're done counting calories and asking if our butts look fat in these jeans, perhaps we could move on to discussing whether we prefer to scrub our feet with pumice or a loofah sponge.

 

[Hoppity]

if you want to lose weight use the Einstein diet: E=MCsquared. Produce more energy than you consume.

 

[philipCT]

Went here for dinner the other day: http://www.gcfb.net/brewery

Granite City brews all of their own beer (nothing else on tap)... I was all excited looking at the brew room and decided to try the Bock. Well, it was gross. Watery, thin mouthfeel and a strong mildew-y aftertaste.

So, I decide "wth? I'll ask about the flight (12 2 oz beers for $4.95)"

"Excuse me, miss server lady, what are the seasonal brews that come with this flight?"

"Um.......... I think one is an Ale. If you like those."

"Just bring it to me and go away, thanks."

Luckily they had a card that came with it... but every one of them was gross. Thin and watered down, like they dilute them heavily or something... and ALL had the same mildew aftertaste.

Nasty.

Wow. Have you read about their unique, patented brewing process, "fermentus interruptus"? I'm so impressed I think I'm about to puke.

They do brewing centrally and ship sweet wort out to sister restaurants for fermentation.

Sounds like extract brewing to me. No wonder the beer is crap. Not that you can't brew good beer from extract, but they probably don't have a brewer running that whole process, which is leading to shoddy practices and the "mildew beer" you sampled.

I had a similar experience with an extract only brewpub that opened near us. I gave them three tries over nine months thinking they just needed some time to dial it in. Never happened.

 

[Trippel-A]

Dinner Saturday night (at a Mediterranean place with a fancy liqueur selection) I ask the bar tender what beers they had (none were listed on any menu), after the second one of him explaining what style it is my wife chuckles at my expression, interrupts him to say he is in over his head, stop describing the style and a pale ale is far from "a strong bud light". I was surprised that the 6 beers they had none were owned or connect to one of the BMC's.

Later on the guy really started to scare me with the good old "liqueur has so much sugar in it" claim and the guy claims to be going to some big mixology convention again this year for the 3rd time.

But, liqueurs often DO have a ton of sugar in them.

 

[ericbw]

But, liqueurs often DO have a ton of sugar in them.

I think Liqueurs are distilled spirits that are flavored and sweetened. They have over 2 and a half percent sugar. They are sweet with a lot of sugar.

 

[hunter_le five]

But, liqueurs often DO have a ton of sugar in them.

Yeah I was confused about that comment as well.

 

[renrutle]

If you are trying to reduce weight you should drink this.
Zero carbs and zero sugar. A bit miss leading though. I guess alcohol doesn't count as a carb.

Bacardi & Cola - Meet Diet Cola: http://youtu.be/_A3kvEhS7UM

 

[1977Brewer]

...alcohol isn't a carb. At all.

 

[soccerdad]

I'd hate to go to a comedy club with you guys. Especially one where irony was at play.

 

[1977Brewer]

I hate ironing.

 

[BBQB]

Coke zero doesn't have calories but it contains caffeine and I don't drink drugs either. I would also never consider ruining a beer with it.

 

[renrutle]

There is always this

 

[wobrien]

Are you trying to tell us that you chew your beer therefore you eat it rather than drink it?

Must have nothing but Guinness, that beer is so thick and heavy you need to chew it, and therefor it's not really drinking

 

[Billy-Klubb]

There is always this

what the flocc is wrong with you? the only people that drink that crap are lying to themselves. the only stuff that should be diet and caffeine free is water.

 

[Black Island Brewer]

If you are trying to reduce weight you should drink this.
Zero carbs and zero sugar. A bit miss leading though. I guess alcohol doesn't count as a carb.

Bacardi & Cola - Meet Diet Cola: http://youtu.be/_A3kvEhS7UM

...alcohol isn't a carb. At all.

Coke zero doesn't have calories but it contains caffeine and I don't drink drugs either. I would also never consider ruining a beer with it.

Oh holy hell.
I guess we all have to operate according to our understandings about alcohol. Here's what I understand, and operate according to:
Alcohol is not a carb, but I don't care. I don't count carbs, I eat them. About 50% of what I eat and drink comes from carbs, mostly whole grains, fruits and vegetables. But I do put sugar in my coffee, and like chocolate now and then too.
Alcohol has calories. In fact, 7 calories per gram. So I prefer my alcohol as wine or beer, because I get more sips.
Alcohol is a drug. One that, like caffeine, I try to use moderately, but sometimes use to excess. Too much caffeine makes me jittery, raises my blood pressure, and make my ears ring. Too much alcohol makes me happy. It also makes me post stupid sh*t on HBT. I'll leave it to you to decide which I'm on right now.

 

[1977Brewer]

I don't count at all, on account that I don't like having to take my shoes off after that 10th beer.

I get one pot of good coffee a week, and I just drained it. Water time until it's beer time.

 

[renrutle]

An alcohol is any organic compound in which the hydroxyl functional group (-OH) is bound to a saturated carbon atom as in ethanol CH3-CH2-OH

Carbon-hydrates are hydrated carbon chains and can be written as Cn-(H2O)n, hence their name carbohydrates. Ethanol can't be written this way.

I always thought the commercial was disingenuous as they are trying to equate 0 carbs and 0 sugar (which by the way is a carb C12(H2O)11 ) with 0 calories even though they don't state this.

Oh, and now that I have been quoted by Billy-Klubb my life is almost complete. (I still need to be punched in the berries for closure.)

 

[Black Island Brewer]

An alcohol is any organic compound in which the hydroxyl functional group (-OH) is bound to a saturated carbon atom as in ethanol CH3-CH2-OH

Carbon-hydrates are hydrated carbon chains and can be written as Cn-(H2O)n, hence their name carbohydrates. Ethanol can't be written this way.

I always thought the commercial was disingenuous as they are trying to equate 0 carbs and 0 sugar (which by the way is a carb C12(H2O)11 ) with 0 calories even though they don't state this.

Oh, and now that I have been quoted by Billy-Klubb my life is almost complete. (I still need to be punched in the berries for closure.)

Serious question...where do sugar alcohols like xylitol and sorbitol fit in? I know they have fewer calories, that they are mostly indigestible (although bacteria in our colon can break them down, hence the potential of "explosive diarrhea"), but are they also in the hydroxyl group?