Funny things you've overheard about beer

[lowtones84]

Wow, nevermind. I guess somebody saying they don't like an IPA (while claiming to love IPAs) because it's hoppy is perfectly normal. I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread derailments with this post.

 

[CavemanDom]

Eff you hipsters for existing and making people think I'm one of you.

*roaring applause*

I have been thrown into the hipster category on more than 1 occasion.

I wore a black hoodie when I was 10. Years before pop punk made it the thing. People thought I was into it, I wasn't. I buy clothes at the thrift store because $3 for a pair of pants my job can destroy in a month makes more sense than $35 for the same month. My wife and I are gluten free, not because of the fad, but because we genuinely feel better without it, and sick with it. And pursuit of GF beer is what got me into homebrewing, because I can certainly make something better than redbridge for cheaper than $10 per six pack.

Just about everything I do, I do because it's practical, not because I want to influence other people opinions of me. The only approval I'm searching for is SWMBO's and I even tune her out sometimes.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to bike to the grocery store. (I'm fat, don't want to be, and my pre-existing lard is cheaper than gasoline.)




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[n240sxguy]

I agree with the other comments here. Doesn't even make a decent thirst, quenching lawnmower beer anymore. When I drink one nowadays it starts giving me a headache within a very short period of time. Other (better) beers don't do that to me. Nor does homebrewed beer. :rockin:

Try coors banquet. It doesn't give me a headache like all the others do. I think it has to do with the proportion of rice or corn to malt, because it is a tiny bit darker and has a little more body than the usual light beers.


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[Hopinista]

I think the hipster derailment is somehow less entertaining than the economics one.

 

[BeerGrylls]

I think I've heard "I'm not a hipster" more times in this thread than I have near the art college down the street.

 

[drainbamage]

Apparently, there's something like a craft beer equivalent of The Onion out there. How did I not know this before? There were several funny articles on there, but this one seemed especially appropriate, since I see most of the types mentioned in an average day on this forum:

http://www.inebriateinquirer.com/the-7-worst-types-of-people-on-every-beer-forum/

 

[troy2000]

Apparently, there's something like a craft beer equivalent of The Onion out there. How did I not know this before? There were several funny articles on there, but this one seemed especially appropriate, since I see most of the types mentioned in an average day on this forum:

http://www.inebriateinquirer.com/the-7-worst-types-of-people-on-every-beer-forum/

Good find; I bookmarked the site.

 

[Hopinista]

Apparently, there's something like a craft beer equivalent of The Onion out there. How did I not know this before? There were several funny articles on there, but this one seemed especially appropriate, since I see most of the types mentioned in an average day on this forum:

http://www.inebriateinquirer.com/the-7-worst-types-of-people-on-every-beer-forum/

I lol'd.

 

[drainbamage]

Also make sure you read the article about the Trappists voting to start calling all their beers IPAs. I had a good laugh at that one.

 

[CGVT]

#7 — The “Just Had a Post of His Ripped Apart on an Online Beer Forum So He’s Making a Stupid List in Order to Get Back at Them and Thereby Make Himself Feel Better” Guy

Ha! Nice.

 

[DukeWashterbuckle]

I knew a girl who would refuse to drink any kind of beer because she thinks she has a yeast sensitivity. Even after explaining to her that most beer is pasteurized, which kills the yeast, and that she's more likely to be exposed to yeast by walking into her kitchen, she still didn't believe me.

 

[thatjonguy]

I knew a girl who would refuse to drink any kind of beer because she thinks she has a yeast sensitivity. Even after explaining to her that most beer is pasteurized, which kills the yeast, and that she's more likely to be exposed to yeast by walking into her kitchen, she still didn't believe me.

Waiting for the well actually.

 

[WesleyS]

Apparently, there's something like a craft beer equivalent of The Onion out there. How did I not know this before? There were several funny articles on there, but this one seemed especially appropriate, since I see most of the types mentioned in an average day on this forum:

http://www.inebriateinquirer.com/the-7-worst-types-of-people-on-every-beer-forum/

"The ability to churn out trillions of identical turds doesn’t change the fact that at the end of the day all you’ve got to show for yourself is a bunch of poo."

Awesome.


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[uatuba]

I knew a girl who would refuse to drink any kind of beer because she thinks she has a yeast sensitivity. Even after explaining to her that most beer is pasteurized, which kills the yeast, and that she's more likely to be exposed to yeast by walking into her kitchen, she still didn't believe me.

I could go a number of directions with this, but I'll bow out.


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[Catfish78]

I started to explain how the yeast consumes the sugar he stopped me and said "So now you know more then a Nutritionist?" No just more then that one..... All the while he drinking a Monster energy drink

Considering that you can become a "nutritionist" without ever having to study anything, I would have said Yes. Depending on where you are in the world, "nutritionist" isn't much of a title. Just requires some money and an internet connection.


But I digress


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[CavemanDom]

On the nutritionist topic, but not about beer... My brother's girl friend told my wife that her nutritionist that goat cheese wasn't dairy.

And sorry about my contribution to the "I'm not a hipster" derailment.


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[n240sxguy]

On the nutritionist topic, but not about beer... My brother's girl friend told my wife that her nutritionist that goat cheese wasn't dairy.

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What, pray tell, does she think it is?


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[Cheesy_Goodness]

Considering that you can become a "nutritionist" without ever having to study anything, I would have said Yes. Depending on where you are in the world, "nutritionist" isn't much of a title. Just requires some money and an internet connection.

I hate to bring this atrocity up again, but case in point...
http://foodbabe.com/2013/07/17/the-shocking-ingredients-in-beer/

 

[thatjonguy]

Please no.

 

[masonsjax]

I just had a friend say that he'll never drink Guinness again because he found out they put fish guts in it. I'm ok with my friends swearing off Guinness, but it should be because it's a boring watery imposter BMC posing as a beer, not because of some click bait smear campaign.

 

[JonM]

I started to explain how the yeast consumes the sugar he stopped me and said "So now you know more then a Nutritionist?" No just more then that one..... All the while he drinking a Monster energy drink

Whenever I hear something like this re: sugar/corn sugar, etc in beer, I want to respond in John Cleese Dead Parrot sketch voice: "This is ex-sugar! The sugar is no more! It has ceased to be!"

 

[EdMerican]

I just had a friend say that he'll never drink Guinness again because he found out they put fish guts in it. I'm ok with my friends swearing off Guinness, but it should be because it's a boring watery imposter BMC posing as a beer, not because of some click bait smear campaign.

If you use isinglass or whirfloc in your beers you can keep the free loader from drinking all your beer.

 

[n240sxguy]

He should realize that most beers have a clarifier used on them. I don't use them because I'm a purist and I'm cheap. The Irish moss I tried didn't make enough difference for me to justify another expense. It was a little more clear though. With a little extra time it becomes unnecessary.

A plant down the road from mine makes a clarifier for beer. I would much rather have "fish guts" in beer than a plastic based clarifier.


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[SudsyPaul]

I found that gelatin wasn't getting my beer clear enough... so now I boil horse and pig bones with my hops... gets my beer so clear!

When I first started brewing, a former friend of mine was told that drinking a pint of homebrew had the sugar-equivalency of several donuts. I simply told him that my beer has no more sugar in it than any microbrew... so his friend could suck my balls.

Also.. turns out my stepdad didn't know there were calories in beer. :S

 

[hunter_le five]

Also.. turns out my stepdad didn't know there were calories in beer. :S

I like to pretend there aren't. Make me feel much less guilty about killing a 6-pack in one sitting.

 

[Scubadude918]

Hahahah fish bladder....


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[Zepth]

I like to pretend there aren't. Make me feel much less guilty about killing a 6-pack in one sitting.

Apparently the "proper" beer diet includes massive carb cutting and replacing it with beer intake. I heard this, liked it, so did absolutely no research to determine if it's true or not. It would be terrible to look into it and have hopes and dreams milled. I mean crushed.

 

[Craigmn]

This, it's supposed to be a fine dining menu and the dude puts "ale". They're all ales bro. This is why I hate most menus with beer pairings


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[Trippel-A]

View attachment 196271


This, it's supposed to be a fine dining menu and the dude puts "ale". They're all ales bro. This is why I hate most menus with beer pairings


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Personally, I've never seen beer pairings listed like this. When I've had pairings, the brewery and beer name have been listed.

 

[Trippel-A]

I hate to bring this atrocity up again, but case in point...
http://foodbabe.com/2013/07/17/the-shocking-ingredients-in-beer/

I read some of the comments... *shudder*

People can be frighteningly stupid.