Funny things you've overheard about beer

[gcdowd]

Ooo... I like that idea! We've got a winter beer festival coming up here next month, too; I could use some ideas. Maybe a side-thread for deliberately obtuse beer-related comments intended to provoke the ire of eavesdropping beer snobs?

"I dunno about this beer festival, man. Do you think any of the breweries will be serving any lagers, or is it all just beer?"

We could have a lot of fun with this.

What would be more humorous is if what you said at the beer fest makes it's way back to this thread as a stupid comment someone overheard about beer. Lol

 

[chicken]

Ok guys now your just being stupid....everyone knows that Miracle Whip is a fully modified dressing and can be mash with a simple infusion mash. Unlike mayo which isn't and must be step mashed.

The need to step mash mayo is a myth which has been thoroughly debunked. Please stop perpetuating such myths. It's irritating as hell, and confusing to the newbies.

 

[Marauder]

Ask the server of an American Brewing co or even better, a well known local company, after tasting their beer, if they have any domestics, that foreign stuff is way to heavy and strong...

Or taste one of their beers and say "oh this must be an import, American beer is watered down women's beer. WHAT COUNTRY ARE YOU FROM!?" (Loud and slow like you think they are hard of hearing or something because they might not speak English well.)

Or when you get up to the server for your two ounce sample and they ask what you'd like to try, "ale please, I hate beer it has no taste" walk away proclaiming real men drink ale...

 

[xjmox14x]

• I wonder if you can get a mayonnaise flavor into beer?

Careful what you wish for...
http://www.reuters.com/article/2007/08/13/us-japan-mayonnaise-idUST10775120070813

 

[Matt3989]

Anyone know how mayo affects the SRM, I'm thinking of a mayo hefe with a light mayo drizzled over the head for serving.

I'm worried about clarity, but I'll just blame it on the wheat.

 

[Marauder]

Anyone know how mayo affects the SRM, I'm thinking of a mayo hefe with a light mayo drizzled over the head for serving.

I'm worried about clarity, but I'll just blame it on the wheat.

As I have seen women use it to strip the color of bad dye jobs from their hair, I believe mayo to be actually in the negatives for color and in my perfectly scientifical expert opinion, somewhere around -10 unless roasted or using belgian special M 10l commonly known as miracle whip

Also important to note when using mayo it is no longer craft, but now rather "Kraft" beer.

 

[Klickmania]

and they speak Belgian, right?

Nope! Flanders.

 

[Marauder]

Nope! Flanders.

No no Flanders is just a dialect of Belgian like lambic come on man, if you are going to correct someone have your facts in order

 

[zmanzorro]

No no Flanders is just a dialect of Belgian like lambic come on man, if you are going to correct someone have your facts in order

Stupid Flanders ... [/Homer]

 

[gcdowd]

Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders!

 

[PhelanKA7]

Careful what you wish for...
http://www.reuters.com/article/2007/08/13/us-japan-mayonnaise-idUST10775120070813

Japan. It is always Japan.

 

[WesleyBrewViking]

The need to step mash mayo is a myth which has been thoroughly debunked. Please stop perpetuating such myths. It's irritating as hell, and confusing to the newbies.

Sure, if you're using modern-day well modified mayonnaise, it's not absolutely necessary, but if you do decoction mashing, those Maillard reactions give you subtle mayo flavors that are unachievable by any other method.

 

[Skeptidelphian]

You guys are all off base. If you want that traditional mayo flavor it's necessary to do a triple decoction mash. Otherwise you won't get the mayoiest notes out of it.

The funniest thing I heard about mayo was some dumb guy a the local Kraft Beer bar telling me mayo was invented in county Mayo, Ireland. Wrong, it was invented in Mayonnaise in Alsace.

 

[morticus]

Even though I know you're joking, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

I know a guy who owns a small brewery, and they self distribute. A couple times, when they were able to take an account away from a distributer at a bar, the distributer would smear mayo inside the keg connection to my buddies kegs to make his beer taste rancid. That's how evil and vindictive the distributors are these days.

 

[WesleyBrewViking]

Japan. It is always Japan.

Sorry, this is a little bit but I had to :

 

[Marauder]

Old Cock ale recipe- replace cock with turkey.Spice with salt and pepper last 10 minutes of boil. Dry whip secondary with mayo? Enter under bjcp Christmas beer category, name it something creative involving "next day christmas dinner left over samiches," someone please do this because I want to hear about how it goes, and the looks on the judges faces...

 

[Lushife]

Old Cock ale recipe- replace cock with turkey.Spice with salt and pepper last 10 minutes of boil. Dry whip secondary with mayo? Enter under bjcp Christmas beer category, name it something creative involving "next day christmas dinner left over samiches," someone please do this because I want to hear about how it goes, and the looks on the judges faces...

Has anyone on here ever made cock ale? I've been wondering that ever since I heard about it.

 

[Ogri]

Things got a whole lot funnier these last few pages:fro:

Starting, for me, with the Monty Python skit :fro:and then this next comment had me chuckling away to myself

FTFY, you gotta say Belgium when referring to the beer, Belgian when referring to the country to make beer savvy people rage.

Ex: "My wife and I took a trip to Belgian last year and all I drank was Belgium Tribble lagers"

:rockin:

 

[Ogri]

Has anyone on here ever made cock ale?

No, but I've had whisky dick once or twice

 

[iambeer]

Oh look! A new direction!

Mrs McDinsky: Beer goggles is real, dawg.
Me: Of course they are but flushots are too.
Sam: Don't. Please, don't.
Me: Recite the passages. Dispel the evil. Save my soul... And your own lives!

 

[bleme]

Squirrel!

 

[Krovitz]

I know a guy who owns a small brewery, and they self distribute. A couple times, when they were able to take an account away from a distributer at a bar, the distributer would smear mayo inside the keg connection to my buddies kegs to make his beer taste rancid. That's how evil and vindictive the distributors are these days.

That's disgusting. That man deserves a solid punch in the mouth.

 

[DrunkleJon]

Isn't that one of the commandments or something? Thou shalt not sabotage beer. If it isn't it should be.

 

[Lushife]

That's disgusting. That man deserves a solid punch in the mouth.

Agreed, maybe a kick in balls.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Agreed, maybe a kick in balls.

but as stated & the big & tall clothes thread, nut shots don't ever work. ever.

 

[Ostomo517]

Ive managed corporate restaurants for over 10 years and not suprised by that. Those beer reps can be vicious to each other, Ive heard of stunts like the mayo thing or poking pinholes in draft lines ob tje night the competition is having a promo ( air gets in the line and its instant foam on tap!)

 

[Ostomo517]

.

 

[unionrdr]

That's just pure D wrong. Not to mention sophmorish.

 

[FoundationFunkwerks]

...BACK on topic.
Having people that try your beer say "yeah, it was crafty."
I know you have no understanding of how hard it was balancing Sorachi and Citra hops, and lemongrass...
I begrudgingly forgive you. *Whispers under-breath* (Last sample I give you.)

 

[BorealBrewer]

"Homebrew has estrogens in it, and makes guys grow breasts."

A guy on my hockey team said this last night, turning down the offer of my now infamous steam beer (made with real steam!).

He then slammed back a couple MGD's he brought over. Because, commercial beers, esp. BMC, are definitely cleaner than my simple grain-to-glass stuff.