Funny things you've overheard about beer

[WesleyBrewViking]

I've heard too many dumb things about beer to keep track of, but one thing that made me chuckle (and cringe) recently was on the cover of a book about beer. My wife bought me a book for Christmas titled "BEERS OF THE WORLD - Over 350 Classic Beers, Lagers, Ales, and Porters[/B"]

*shudder*

My immediate thought: if someone doesn't properly understand those relationships, why would they write a book about it?

 

[MotorcycleMatt]

Isn't sake one of the strongest non-distilled alcohols, on average?
Beer =6%
Wine =14%
Saki = 20%That's my understading of the averages of each. VERY generally speaking

Ha, my braggot is right around d sake strength

 

[WannabeBeerNerd]

Not sure if it specifically counts as funny about beer or as just funny and said by people drinking too much beer...

Was watching some cable show a couple of nights ago and I heard one of the most ominous phrases in the English language....

A drunken redneck saying, "Hey, hold my beer a minute, I'm gonna try sumthin"

...after I stopped having flash backs to too many family reunions I couldn't help but laugh

for the record I believe the 2nd most ominous to be, "Hey y'all, watch this!"

 

[WesleyS]

I've heard too many dumb things about beer to keep track of, but one thing that made me chuckle (and cringe) recently was on the cover of a book about beer. My wife bought me a book for Christmas titled "BEERS OF THE WORLD - Over 350 Classic Beers, Lagers, Ales, and Porters[/B"]

*shudder*

My immediate thought: if someone doesn't properly understand those relationships, why would they write a book about it?

You mean this?

My wife bought me the same book as part of a whole beer themed anniversary gift last year.

 

[gcdowd]

So this just happened to me. I went to a local bar that just opened up because I heard they have a pretty decent beer selection.

Me: I'll take an Ithaca Flower Power (local IPA)
Bartender: Sure thing

As I wait for my change, a guy walks up next to me and takes a look at the taps. A second bartender shows up and asks him what he wants.

Bartender: What'll ya have?
Guy: Ithaca IPA please
Bartender: We don't have Ithaca IPA
Me (to the Guy): You want the flower power
Guy: No, I don't want that
Me: You said you wanted the Ithaca IPA, that's the Flower Power
Guy: No, I said I want the Ithaca Double IPA

(I'm pretty sure they don't even make a double IPA)

Me: You want the flower power, trust me.

The guy orders an Angry Orchard (hard cider)

I laughed to myself. I guess he thought a good alternative to a double IPA (that does not exist) is a hard cider.

 

[tcory77]

So this just happened to me. I went to a local bar that just opened up because I heard they have a pretty decent beer selection.

Me: I'll take an Ithaca Flower Power (local IPA)
Bartender: Sure thing

As I wait for my change, a guy walks up next to me and takes a look at the taps. A second bartender shows up and asks him what he wants.

Bartender: What'll ya have?
Guy: Ithaca IPA please
Bartender: We don't have Ithaca IPA
Me (to the Guy): You want the flower power
Guy: No, I don't want that
Me: You said you wanted the Ithaca IPA, that's the Flower Power
Guy: No, I said I want the Ithaca Double IPA

(I'm pretty sure they don't even make a double IPA)

Me: You want the flower power, trust me.

The guy orders an Angry Orchard (hard cider)

I laughed to myself. I guess he thought a good alternative to a double IPA (that does not exist) is a hard cider.

Hahahahaha. That is tough to beat right there!!!!!

 

[Hlmartin22]

http://abcnews.go.com/m/blogEntry?id=18124167 here is a funny thing I just read in the news

HAHAHAHA,

I don't know about the rest of you but every brew day I get a sneaking feeling I might accidentally shoot a man 5 times to death.


Let's be honest; it's probably due to the fact their alcohol of choice was Busch and Jim beam

 

[brewingbound]

Let's be honest; it's probably due to the fact their alcohol of choice was Busch and Jim beam

+1 if only they had known

 

[LTownLiquorPig]

So my SWMBO was raised a Mormon, but she's non-practicing at best. She drinks, no worries there, but still can't come to grips with food and alcohol. She won't cook with alcohol, won't drink while she's eating.

Anyway, this morning she tells me that she doesn't like that I use our 4.5 gallon pot to brew in. Apparently she's worried my unfermented sugar water will some how contaminate her next stew with alcohol.....

 

[ArkieBrewer]

I was at my LHBS the other day. A guy came in who had received a Mr. Beer kit for Christmas, and was looking for more supplies. The owner of the shop was very patient with him, answered all of his questions, and somehow avoided bashing the fact he was using a Mr. Beer (everyone starts somewhere). After they both have an armload of cleaner, sanitizer, extract, yeast packs, etc., he grabs the bottle of Star-San and asks, "I use well water, do I need to add more of this to my wort than normal to make sure I kill everything." The look on the owner's face was priceless.

 

[Hlmartin22]

I was at my LHBS the other day. A guy came in who had received a Mr. Beer kit for Christmas, and was looking for more supplies. The owner of the shop was very patient with him, answered all of his questions, and somehow avoided bashing the fact he was using a Mr. Beer (everyone starts somewhere). After they both have an armload of cleaner, sanitizer, extract, yeast packs, etc., he grabs the bottle of Star-San and asks, "I use well water, do I need to add more of this to my wort than normal to make sure I kill everything." The look on the owner's face was priceless.

This should be interesting
"Yeah, let's say half the bottle undiluted

Also, make sure you add it after the yeast pitch!"
Hahahahahahahahahaha

 

[blefferd]

Newbie brewers thinking they can make BCM style beers cheaper than you can buy it for..

Also I have seen alot of Bluemoon Bashing, seems alot of people on here forget Bluemoon started out as a micro/craft brewery till Coors bought them out. I dont care for it but its still a drinkable beer.

Not beer but since the TV show moonshiners has came out there seems to be a lot of "shine" makers coming out of the wood work (at least where I work) and you can tell after 2 mins of conversation they have no clue what they are talking about while acting like they have been squeezing corn all there life.

My pet peeve is when someone acts like they drink "good" beer and look down on me when I drink Natural Light. This is not the homebrew crowd, its the every day folks that have no clue about beer and act like Natural Light is cold goat piss while they are drinking a Bud Light.. I usually just laugh at them, cause they really have no clue what good beer is.

 

[moscoeb]

So my SWMBO was raised a Mormon, but she's non-practicing at best. She drinks, no worries there, but still can't come to grips with food and alcohol. She won't cook with alcohol, won't drink while she's eating.

Anyway, this morning she tells me that she doesn't like that I use our 4.5 gallon pot to brew in. Apparently she's worried my unfermented sugar water will some how contaminate her next stew with alcohol.....

I'd be more worried about her using my brew pot for her stew!!

 

[Lushife]

Newbie brewers thinking they can make BCM style beers cheaper than you can buy it for..

Also I have seen alot of Bluemoon Bashing, seems alot of people on here forget Bluemoon started out as a micro/craft brewery till Coors bought them out. I dont care for it but its still a drinkable beer.

Not beer but since the TV show moonshiners has came out there seems to be a lot of "shine" makers coming out of the wood work (at least where I work) and you can tell after 2 mins of conversation they have no clue what they are talking about while acting like they have been squeezing corn all there life.

My pet peeve is when someone acts like they drink "good" beer and look down on me when I drink Natural Light. This is not the homebrew crowd, its the every day folks that have no clue about beer and act like Natural Light is cold goat piss while they are drinking a Bud Light.. I usually just laugh at them, cause they really have no clue what good beer is.

I have that same problem cause I drink Milwaukee's best sometimes.

 

[Gameface]

So my SWMBO was raised a Mormon, but she's non-practicing at best. She drinks, no worries there, but still can't come to grips with food and alcohol. She won't cook with alcohol, won't drink while she's eating.

Anyway, this morning she tells me that she doesn't like that I use our 4.5 gallon pot to brew in. Apparently she's worried my unfermented sugar water will some how contaminate her next stew with alcohol.....

Sounds like you've got a green light to buy a new brew kettle. Score!

 

[blefferd]

I have that same problem cause I drink Milwaukee's best sometimes.

I dont have enough money to buy the good stuff all the time, I drink ALOT of beer.

 

[day_trippr]

[...]
My pet peeve is when someone acts like they drink "good" beer and look down on me when I drink Natural Light. This is not the homebrew crowd, its the every day folks that have no clue about beer and act like Natural Light is cold goat piss while they are drinking a Bud Light.. I usually just laugh at them, cause they really have no clue what good beer is.

Next time you get into a tiny-dick swinging contest over the comparative merits of "light beers", try to remember this might be your last day in this particular Reality, and you probably shouldn't waste a lot of it...

Cheers!

 

[Lushife]

I dont have enough money to buy the good stuff all the time, I drink ALOT of beer.

Same here and I don't wanna pay a few bucks more for Miller or something especially when I like Best better.

 

[unionrdr]

Milwauke's best is made by miller.

 

[Lushife]

Milwauke's best is made by miller.

I know I meant MGD. I'd rather buy their cheap beer than their "premium beer"

 

[unionrdr]

Yeah. Being retired,I can't always by the craft stuff.

 

[blefferd]

Next time you get into a tiny-dick swinging contest over the comparative merits of "light beers", try to remember this might be your last day in this particular Reality, and you probably shouldn't waste a lot of it...

Cheers!

I never said one was superior to the other. I drink Natural Light on a regular basis, but I can also drink bud light, miller etc. I don't see the point in spending the extra $4 per case when they are pretty much the same beer with a different name and lots of advertising.

Anyways I think you missed my point.

 

[homebrewdad]

Next time you get into a tiny-dick swinging contest over the comparative merits of "light beers", try to remember this might be your last day in this particular Reality, and you probably shouldn't waste a lot of it...

Cheers!

Seriously? The guy posted what was, in fact, funny - that Bud Lite drinkers acted snobby towards his Natty Light... point being that they are both American Light lagers, and as such, have very little flavor either way. Your post was pretty uncool, day_trippr.

 

[Ryush806]

Seriously? The guy posted what was, in fact, funny - that Bud Lite drinkers acted snobby towards his Natty Light... point being that they are both American Light lagers, and as such, have very little flavor either way. Your post was pretty uncool, day_trippr.

Doesn't matter because Keystone Light is where it's at! Just ask Keith Stone...

 

[NuclearRich]

I love when I tell craft brew drinkers that I actually really like bud light on football sunday and miller high life on darts night. Yeah its cheap beer. Exactly. Cheap. And I can drink a lot without killing my wallet OR liver (as fast anyway).

 

[BrewPilot74]

From my brother, after I ordered a Sam Adams Boston Lager: "oh yeah, i forgot you like those dark beers, thats gross! I'm just not very exotic. Bud Light is the only beer I drink. I would never, ever order something called a lager."

From my good friend's father, after taking a tiny sip of my homebrew IPA: "Yuck! Here, try a real man's beer!" (Hands me a Coors Light).

 

[downtown3641]

From my brother, after I ordered a Sam Adams Boston Lager: "oh yeah, i forgot you like those dark beers, thats gross! I'm just not very exotic. Bud Light is the only beer I drink. I would never, ever order something called a lager."

From my good friend's father, after taking a tiny sip of my homebrew IPA: "Yuck! Here, try a real man's beer!" (Hands me a Coors Light).

I call into question the manhood of anyone who uses the term "real man."

 

[Spicemon1972]

Do you remember back when Miller was selling their red label beer? They called it Miller Beer or sometimes Miller Red. Well, I had a friend who knew next to nothing about beer other than that it was wet, cold and alcoholic and she emphatically claimed that she "Couldn't drink red beers like Miller Red, Red Dog and Killians Red because she was allergic to red beer and it made her crazy."
Even back then, when my knowledge of beer was scant at best, I couldn't help but laugh at her.

 

[Bierliebhaber]

There was a homebrew tasting recently at the LHBS/bottle shop. Some guy, who was obviously already on route to happy town before he came to the shop, tracked me down to share his appreciation of my oaked RIS. He also wanted to share his excitement about the ingredients he just picked up for his next batch:

8lb two-row
1lb smoked malt
3lb crystal

...I really didn't know what to say. BUT I was reminded that it is always best to thoroughly (read soberly) check and double check any recipes concocted while drinking.

 

[SiriusStarr]

There was a homebrew tasting recently at the LHBS/bottle shop. Some guy, who was obviously already on route to happy town before he came to the shop, tracked me down to share his appreciation of my oaked RIS. He also wanted to share his excitement about the ingredients he just picked up for his next batch:

8lb two-row
1lb smoked malt
3lb crystal

...I really didn't know what to say. BUT I was reminded that it is always best to thoroughly (read soberly) check and double check any recipes concocted while drinking.

Maybe he just likes really, really, really sweet beer?