Funny things you've overheard about beer

[jsv1204]

Despite having been close I can't say I've been to a place known for BBQ on the east coast (Carolina style), but I do enjoy the BBQ up in KC.

Been in NC for two years now. Still can't handle NC "BBQ". It might be growing on me a little, but it isn't BBQ... Not like I know it. KC, Memphis, Texas... All great but Carolina is different... Prob a topic for another meaningless debate thread.

 

[jsv1204]

Yeast don't convert you into a zombie. That is preposterous... Yep, yeast is were-pig juice...

Dang! That's what is causing this! (oink)

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Dang! That's what is causing this! (oink)

you are wrong! Zombie Virus!

 

[logan3825]

I think Ale yeast causes fast zombies and lager yeast causes slow zombies.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

I think Ale yeast causes fast zombies and lager yeast causes slow zombies.

and now this. bwahahaa!!

 

[Lushife]

I think Ale yeast causes fast zombies and lager yeast causes slow zombies.

All wrong it depends on the temperature.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

Steam Zombies?

 

[Lazarous]

If it were only the ethanol that is evaporated, condensed, collected and the initial liquor has no other influence, where are the flavours in whisky and Brandy from?

Barrel aging in charred barrels

 

[SudsyPaul]

Most hilarious thing I heard RE: beer.

My buddy and I were at some local beer pub (100+ international beers) and some table of "Jersey Shore" looking guys sat at the table next to us. They were SUPER loud and annoying, but we just ignored them... until one of the guys called over the waitress and told her that he wanted to send back his Delirium Tremens. She asked if it had gone bad, or what the problem was... I kid you not, his answer was "It has too much flavor". The waitress asks him what he likes, and responds with Coors, so she says "we have lots of great light imports that are similar to Coors Light"... he returns with "Do you have Coors Light? I'll just have one of those". The waitress walked away, rolling her eyes.

This guy is in one of the biggest/best beer pubs in town, and he wants a Coors Light. Needless to say, my buddy and I have been laughing about this guy for the last year

*Disclaimer: I'm kind of a jerk when it comes to blandness and lack of adventurousness. I can accept/understand that people don't like certain things, but to not even try and just stick with the boring old same thing... tsk tsk tsk.

 

[jevers]

Most hilarious thing I heard RE: beer.

My buddy and I were at some local beer pub (100+ international beers) and some table of "Jersey Shore" looking guys sat at the table next to us. They were SUPER loud and annoying, but we just ignored them... until one of the guys called over the waitress and told her that he wanted to send back his Delirium Tremens. She asked if it had gone bad, or what the problem was... I kid you not, his answer was "It has too much flavor". The waitress asks him what he likes, and responds with Coors, so she says "we have lots of great light imports that are similar to Coors Light"... he returns with "Do you have Coors Light? I'll just have one of those". The waitress walked away, rolling her eyes.

This guy is in one of the biggest/best beer pubs in town, and he wants a Coors Light. Needless to say, my buddy and I have been laughing about this guy for the last year

*Disclaimer: I'm kind of a jerk when it comes to blandness and lack of adventurousness. I can accept/understand that people don't like certain things, but to not even try and just stick with the boring old same thing... tsk tsk tsk.

Man Code dictates that sending back a Delerium Tremens and asking for a Coors Light demands a b*tch slap

 

[Ogri]

Man Code dictates that sending back a Delerium Tremens and asking for a Coors Light demands a b*tch slap

LOL:rockin:

After a delerium tremens, drinking that Coors light would have tasted like it had about as much body as a club soda.

 

[cluckk]

I think Ale yeast causes fast zombies and lager yeast causes slow zombies.

Actually ale yeast causes top-feeding zombies and lager yeast causes bottom-feeding zombies. So, as a zombie, if you drank a lot of ales you'll eat brains, if you drank a lot of lagers you'll eat ass.

 

[cluckk]

Though it may not be very funny, my experience is at least demonstrative of the South Texas beer scene. My wife and I went out to a steakhouse for dinner and the following exchange happened with the server:

Me:"What kind of beer do you have on tap?"
Server: "Coors Lite, Bud lite, Zweibock and Sam Adams."
Me: "Which Sam Adams?"
Server: "Hugh?"
Me: "Which Style of Sam Adams? They make about twenty."
Server: "Um ... They do?"
Me: "Yes, is it the Boston lager? They Winter Ale? or one of many others?"
Server: "We have the winter one in bottle."

That was about as helpful as being told they have "Anheuser Busch" on tap.

 

[snaps10]

I always like:

"What have you got on tap?"
"We have Coors light, bud light, dos Equis, and hefeweizen"
"What hefeweizen is it?"
"Umm. It's called hefeweizen"
"Yes, what brand is it?"
"It's hefeweizen, it's a wheat beer"
"Thank you, I'll have a Coke"

 

[Knecht_Rupprecht]

Not so much funny but a victory. My mother has a friend who I've been slowly turning into a beer snob. She had been putting lime into her SA Winter Lager...because some dumb bartender told her to. Apparently after a holiday party, the report is that she admits it's better without the lime. It's not some cheap ass Corona, it's a good winter drinkin' beer. I'm glad to have won.

Sounds like someone isn't excited about their mom's new "special" friend.

 

[Skeptidelphian]

Sounds like someone isn't excited about their mom's new "special" friend.

Ha, you mean her best friend, a woman?

 

[Nightshade]

Last night a gentleman came in and discovered I was the brewer so we talked a bit about beer...well he talked and I listened a lot and he apparently knew a lot about beer, just ask him.

Anyways during the conversation he asked me, "Do you still use IPA extract in your brewing?"

I explain we have never used extracts in our brewing which led to him telling me with no uncertainty that we did...meh whatever man, obviously you know better than the guy who has read every recipe we brew ansd has seen no mention of extract anywhere.

 

[mcspanner]

Last night a gentleman came in and discovered I was the brewer so we talked a bit about beer...well he talked and I listened a lot and he apparently knew a lot about beer, just ask him.

Anyways during the conversation he asked me, "Do you still use IPA extract in your brewing?"

I explain we have never used extracts in our brewing which led to him telling me with no uncertainty that we did...meh whatever man, obviously you know better than the guy who has read every recipe we brew ansd has seen no mention of extract anywhere.

There is a lot of truth in the saying that empty vessels make the most noise. Don't know if I could have held my tongue.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

isn't overheard, but the look on my in laws faces when they tried my Falconer's American Lager tonight. I'm still laughing over that. they were drinking BL & CL.

 

[metanoia]

I can't believe I just read through 77 pages of this this thread in the past few days. Thank you all for the laughs about ignorant people, and thank you fall for the econ and distillery talk, it helped me skip pages ahead and get to the end faster. I hope to have something to contribute one day, but it seems most people I talk to are apparently informed about craft beer/home brewing or are willing to listen and change any misperceptions they had.

 

[drainbamage]

Though it may not be very funny, my experience is at least demonstrative of the South Texas beer scene. My wife and I went out to a steakhouse for dinner and the following exchange happened with the server:

Me:"What kind of beer do you have on tap?"
Server: "Coors Lite, Bud lite, Zweibock and Sam Adams."
Me: "Which Sam Adams?"
Server: "Hugh?"
Me: "Which Style of Sam Adams? They make about twenty."
Server: "Um ... They do?"
Me: "Yes, is it the Boston lager? They Winter Ale? or one of many others?"
Server: "We have the winter one in bottle."

That was about as helpful as being told they have "Anheuser Busch" on tap.

This happens a lot at places where SA is the token craft entry, but it's almost always the Boston Lager or whatever basic seasonal is out at the time, and rarely the more obscure stuff. If I order SA at a restaurant, I just assume it to be a crapshoot and not expect anything in particular.

 

[Knecht_Rupprecht]

Ha, you mean her best friend, a woman?

If the feathered mullet and jean jacket fit...

 

[Knecht_Rupprecht]

This happens a lot at places where SA is the token craft entry, but it's almost always the Boston Lager or whatever basic seasonal is out at the time, and rarely the more obscure stuff. If I order SA at a restaurant, I just assume it to be a crapshoot and not expect anything in particular.

If you go to a bar in Boston (even ones with a hundred crafts on tap) and ask for a Sam Adams you will get Boston Lager, the two are synonymous. Similarly if someone says we have Sam Adams, they are talking about the lager...anything else they are going to call out what seasonal or other offering by name.

 

[user 19629]

"that's beer for people who don't want to get drunk"
He was refering to Arrogant Bastard

 

[BreezyBrew]

"Scott, I got you a grumbler!"

He obviously meant growler.

 

[GrogNerd]

"Scott, I got you a grumbler!"

He obviously meant growler.

awesome

my forum name, GrogNerd is from the French word grognard, which literally translates as "grumbler," but is slang for "mean old man"

 

[Ostomo517]

"Scott, I got you a grumbler!"

He obviously meant growler.

Total classic!!! Lol

 

[unionrdr]

Grognard sounds like the French connotation of grumpy old men.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

I had a grumbler earlier. you couldn't go into the bathroom for 45-55 minutes.

 

[skullface1818]

I one heard a friend say that wine was way healthier than beer, and I laughed at her

Idk, I thought that that was rather funny ^_^