Funny things you've overheard about beer

[MuddyCreek]

I recently asked the barely legal waitress at a local watering hole what wheat beers they had on tap. She said she didn't really know but would ask the bartender. She returned about 5 minutes later with the reply that "all beers are wheat beers because that's the main ingredient".

See, I would have ordered an ale and then returned it after drinking half and saying... "This beer doesn't have any wheat in it. It's all Barley." Then order another... "This beer doesn't have any wheat in it either." After the third, I'd say... "Where are your all-wheat beers again?"

I went in to my LHBS a few months ago and Stan the main sales guy was shaking his head. A couple guys came in and wanted to buy equipment and supplies to make Bud Light. Stan told them... "It would be cheaper to buy it." They persisted and he finally said "I don't even know how to brew something as bad as Bud Light." I joked he should sell them a single light LME can and a pound of rice flakes, have them make a 5 gallon batch and then add an extra gallon of water after it finished fermenting.

 

[C-Rider]

I offered a buddy a pint off my Yuenglin pitcher while we were watching football last Sunday, and he responded "I don't like dark beer."

:hs::hs::hs:

I had a glass of Yuenglin in a burger place in Ashvill N.C. It was so bad I couldn't finish it. Maybe I just don't like lagers that ain't very dark and have some flavor to them.

 

[TopherM]

Yuengling Lager is definitely my session beer. Even though I'm definitely a beer snob, I still probably drink more Yuengling Lager than any other single beer. It's the best low-cost beer for my $$$.

 

[Raenon]

I'm not sure I've ever heard of someone that hated Yuengling, that had drank it fresh and under good conditions. Invariably they seem to be at the edges of Yuengling's distribution, old bottles (I really wish they'd stop using green glass for the Traditional Lager, light exposure is a serious problem), or from dirty lines.

I wouldn't claim that it's the absolute best beer ever made, but it's a damned fine brew, and cheap to boot. It's what I typically reach for if I'm not drinking my own beer.

 

[DagoBrewer]

How bout this one?? "beer?? All beer tastes the same, nasty!" Thats what some of my family said until they tried REAL beer!

 

[iambeer]

I had a glass of Yuenglin in a burger place in Ashvill N.C. It was so bad I couldn't finish it. Maybe I just don't like lagers that ain't very dark and have some flavor to them.

No, keep your mind open about the style of beer. This particular brand is not worth buying.

 

[Punity]

no, keep your mind open about the style of beer. This particular brand is not worth buying.

+1

 

[Tinga]

I just don't like when people say "dark beers". that's my biggest pet peeve.

 

[iambeer]

I just don't like when people say "dark beers". that's my biggest pet peeve.

I see your shwartzbier is as big as mine.

 

[whitehause]

Had a friend ( dedicated miller lite drinker ) say my Two Hearted clone tasted too " Beery "
I just shook my head and took it from him:cross:

 

[Brewcrew02]

I laugh out loud every time I hear this. There's a place in KC where you can get anything on tap in a GIANT wax paper cup. I always get a Guinness. Nearly everybody looks at me funny.

Kelly's in Westport.

Win?

 

[craigger64]

I live in Pennsylvania, where, if you want a Yuengling Lager you just walk up to the bar and say "I'll have a Lager". They will NEVER EVER EVER ask you "what kind"? They will automatically give you a Yuengling.

 

[Piratwolf]

I'm not sure I've ever heard of someone that hated Yuengling, that had drank it fresh and under good conditions. Invariably they seem to be at the edges of Yuengling's distribution, old bottles (I really wish they'd stop using green glass for the Traditional Lager, light exposure is a serious problem), or from dirty lines.

I wouldn't claim that it's the absolute best beer ever made, but it's a damned fine brew, and cheap to boot. It's what I typically reach for if I'm not drinking my own beer.

Now you have. Tastes like rusty water to me. Not hatin' b/c I know tastes vary--I just won't drink it. Oh, and I live two states away, have had it in many different places & formats. Just not my cup of tea.

Then again, I've gotten to where if there's no craft beer in a place I just won't drink.

 

[Calichusetts]

I did a brew for a BMC family member...conversation went like this:

Me: Hey, I brewed up a lager for you...should be really nice.
Him: No I'm not interested
Me: Seriously, you'll like it, just give it a try
Him: I don't like lagers...thats why I drink Miller Lite

 

[RCCOLA]

I did a brew for a BMC family member...conversation went like this:

Me: Hey, I brewed up a lager for you...should be really nice.
Him: No I'm not interested
Me: Seriously, you'll like it, just give it a try
Him: I don't like lagers...thats why I drink Miller Lite

My convos with people about sharing my beer usually go exactly opposite of yours

Him: What kind of beer do you make?
Me: All styles from the lightest lager to the blackest stout and everything in between
Him: I'd like to try some
Me: If you only drink Miller Lite and think that's the best beer available, then you probably won't like what I brew.

If they really want to try it after that, I'll tell them what type of commercial beer tastes like the one I'm sharing.

 

[Sithdad]

I offered my sister-in-law (Coors light drinker) an american amber ale I made that took 3rd place in a competition.
Our very short conversation:
Her: "Ew! That tastes 'lagery'"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Her: "It tastes like Yuengling Lager. You know...lagery"
Me:

I've had some success with her liking an American wheat and a classic American pilsner I made. She still reaches for her Coors light which suits me just fine. That leaves more for me.

 

[zeg]

Now you have. Tastes like rusty water to me. Not hatin' b/c I know tastes vary--I just won't drink it. Oh, and I live two states away, have had it in many different places & formats. Just not my cup of tea.

Here's another. I had some at a decent bar in DC and, while I don't remember exactly what it tasted like, I do recall having a very hard time getting through it.

 

[TopherM]

I don't like lagers...thats why I drink Miller Lite

Maybe they are smarter than you think! Miller Lite calls their beer a pilsner....The World Beer Cup criteria (don't know if they use BJCP or not) claims that it has too much adjunct to be a true pilsner, so it isn't to the definition, but it's close.

 

[afr0byte]

Maybe they are smarter than you think! Miller Lite is technically a Bohemian Pilsner....lots of adjucts, but still a pilsner!

Umm, maybe I'm not seeing your point. A pilsner is a lager.

 

[Gameface]

I just don't like when people say "dark beers". that's my biggest pet peeve.

Mine too. Especially when they're talking about a pale ale.

 

[Gameface]

Umm, maybe I'm not seeing your point. A pilsner is a lager.

And Miller Light doesn't technically qualify as a pilsner...

 

[JBJB]

In my statistics lecture the professor was using an example of probabilities. He says:
"(Of two events: A and B)Let A be the event of a customer ordering a beer, let B be the event of a customer ordering an ale".

Further, he says:
"What are the probabilities of each?"

I really wanted to say: "Well the probability of B is equal to the probability of A. Because all ale is beer". (Lagers not included in the sample space)

I decided not to correct him, as to not look like a dork in front of the entire lecture.

 

[jaylakejr]

up until a few years ago most places in my area would always put yuengling in the import list and it be a ridicules price. I guess the name would throw them off thinking it was some kinda foreign brewery, yet its from the next state over, I hated that so much

Not to go against the grain of this thread but I live in Lancater, PA and if you go into any bar from the crappy dive bars, to apple bees, to high end restaurants, if you say give me a Lager.... they instantly give you Yuengling. I was sitting at a bar once and counted the next 10 beer orders and it was 7 Yuengling Lagers and 1 craft brew (Victory) and 1 Bud Lite and 1 Miller Lite. People here really love that stuff.

 

[JordanThomas]

In my statistics lecture the professor was using an example of probabilities. He says:
"(Of two events: A and B)Let A be the event of a customer ordering a beer, let B be the event of a customer ordering an ale".

Further, he says:
"What are the probabilities of each?"

I really wanted to say: "Well the probability of B is equal to the probability of A. Because all ale is beer". (Lagers not included in the sample space)

I decided not to correct him, as to not look like a dork in front of the entire lecture.

I would have, with no doubt in my mind, corrected him. And that's an awful example. The probability of someone ordering any beverage is a silly thing. Probability of pointing randomly on the menu to a ale versus a lager, ok. Bad example from your prof.

 

[rifraf]

Never mind. Reread your post.

 

[Whattawort]

I wish I could go back to my BMC days, I'd be a hell of a lot richer by now. But until they start bottling with pry-off caps and taste slightly better than stagnant water, I shall continue to drink higher up the food chain. To contribute to the thread:

My wife and I were at one of the local beer bars enjoying a founder's wee heavy and a peche when a couple of young guys decked out in full business attire started to get a little loud. They were having a heated discussion about how a RIS was an IIPA and a stout mixed at bottling. The manager of the bar (good friend and a cajun) nicely told the boys they were being loud and retarded. The information was on the bottle and surely a couple of young professionals could read. Moral of the story: don't be a drunk, illiterate retard in a cajun-run beer bar. They also broke the bar rule by wearing ties. She will only ask you once to remove it (nicely) before she will hold your beer ransom until you remove it. That woman is awesome. Oh yeah, her staff can probably run circles around most of us here on their beer knowledge.

 

[IkeKrizzule]

Statistics nerd - but the probability of B isn't equal to the probability of A. All ales are beers, but all beers aren't ales. So the probability of B is equal to the probability of A minus the probability of C (ordering a lager).

 

[Brewmech]

Here's a good one...

I made up a bunch of beer to serve at a charity event in town. We took the mobile kegerator and were serving beers out of the side. We got there a little late and were in a bad spot. There was a Bud/Bud lite truck there and the lone was about 25 people deep. No one was coming over to us. So I walked over and yelled (it was loud), "Hand crafted brew over here! The line is short!". Immediately about 2/3 of the line left and came over and we started serving beers. It was great and people had all sorts of misconceptions. Word got around that the good beer was here and my amber ale was being described as "like amber bock but, really damn good". We had an IPA and a stout as well. The IPA wasn't as popular for the BMCers, but the stout and amber was going fast. The comparisons to Amber Bock made me cringe, but the people loved the beer so I was happy.

Then Billy came...

Billy was a red neck (most of them were - me too) He was wearing a Dale Jr long sleeve T-shirt with Budweiser written on it down each sleeve, across the chest, on the back and just about everywhere you could possibly fit it on the shirt. He was a walking bill board for Budweiser. Billy was interested in why we went through all the trouble to brew this beer when there are perfectly good beers on the shelves just about everywhere. Billy proclaimed that he drinks about a 12 pack of Budweiser just about every day, I'd believe it too. But, he was a good sport, he had a Budweiser in his hand. He said, "You know, Budweiser is like a fine woman (makes big ****s gestures with hands). When you have a fine woman, you don't cheat on her, you don't hit her or be mean to her. You caress her (he caresses the plastic cup), you love her, and you treat her right (takes a long sip and smiles)."

Then he says, "but I'm a good sport, what do you recommend I try?" I recommended the amber. He said, "Naw, amber bock gives me the farts, I'll try the stout." Billy, now holding a pint of stout and his half finished Budweiser, starts to drink the stout. "Say, this is pretty good!" He lingered around and kept coming back to the stout tap, but he didn't put down his budweiser. After about 10 minutes he set the Budweiser on the fender and was just drinking my stout. After his 3rd pint in over an hour he came back and telling everyone how good the stout was and that it was a damn good beer! Then he comes up to me and says, "You know, sometimes you get tired of that old woman and you gotta find a new one with better tits. I think I'm ready to kick that old hag to the curb and get me a new woman, pour me another pint!"

I had converted a die hard redneck. My mission in life is complete.

 

[Gameface]

People who go on and on about how great BMC is boggle my mind. It'd be like someone going on and on about the great beef they serve at McDonald's and how no one needs to grill a high grade steak when there's a McDonalds right around the corner.

 

[Tinga]

Then Billy came...

Billy was a red neck (most of them were - me too) He was wearing a Dale Jr long sleeve T-shirt with Budweiser written on it down each sleeve, across the chest, on the back and just about everywhere you could possibly fit it on the shirt. He was a walking bill board for Budweiser. Billy was interested in why we went through all the trouble to brew this beer when there are perfectly good beers on the shelves just about everywhere. Billy proclaimed that he drinks about a 12 pack of Budweiser just about every day, I'd believe it too. But, he was a good sport, he had a Budweiser in his hand. He said, "You know, Budweiser is like a fine woman (makes big ****s gestures with hands). When you have a fine woman, you don't cheat on her, you don't hit her or be mean to her. You caress her (he caresses the plastic cup), you love her, and you treat her right (takes a long sip and smiles)."

Then he says, "but I'm a good sport, what do you recommend I try?" I recommended the amber. He said, "Naw, amber bock gives me the farts, I'll try the stout." Billy, now holding a pint of stout and his half finished Budweiser, starts to drink the stout. "Say, this is pretty good!" He lingered around and kept coming back to the stout tap, but he didn't put down his budweiser. After about 10 minutes he set the Budweiser on the fender and was just drinking my stout. After his 3rd pint in over an hour he came back and telling everyone how good the stout was and that it was a damn good beer! Then he comes up to me and says, "You know, sometimes you get tired of that old woman and you gotta find a new one with better tits. I think I'm ready to kick that old hag to the curb and get me a new woman, pour me another pint!"

I had converted a die hard redneck. My mission in life is complete.

haha that's a great story