Funniest bathroom graffiti

[JonM]

Not exactly graffiti, but a local bar's four female bartenders got a picture of themselves standing shoulder to shoulder, pointing down and laughing. Then they put the picture on the wall just above the urinal.

The picture kept disappearing for some reason ...

 

[JohnTheBrewist]

"What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common? They both fly around Ur anus and wipe out Klingons."

 

[brum]

This is in a stall in our physics building.

physicists and jedi both do it by force, therefore, physicists = jedi.

Then someone wrote below it. No they don't, physicists are assexual.

 

[TxBrew]

I was in a Bathroom at a Presbyterian School attending a wedding.

In very nice handwriting was "Praise the Lord!".

 

[mrk305]

On a dispensor for those paper toilet seat protectors someone wrote....

BUTT GASKETS

.. being somewhat of an expert in engine sealing procedures, I added...

use no sealant

 

[wolverinebrewer]

1- Flush twice, it's a long way to CDH (central dining hall).

Wouldn't you know it? My favorite of all time from when I was 10, is already listed here in the first response. It was written slightly different since it was in a restaurant and one I've remembered for 34 years.

Flush twice it has to go all the way to the kitchen.

 

[JonM]

On a dispensor for those paper toilet seat protectors someone wrote....

BUTT GASKETS

.. being somewhat of an expert in engine sealing procedures, I added...

use no sealant

Niiiiice!!

 

[Reelale]

From the barracks latrine when I was in the Army; Neatly scribed sign above the urinal that read "Do not throw cigarette butts into the urinal". Someone penned underneath, "it makes them soggy and hard to light". True story.

 

[Toecutter]

On a california restroom wall :

you are sitting on the nest of a million crabs

mexicans are living proof that indians f___ed Buffalo

If you happened to crap your pants, please dont leave them hanging on the coat hook

 

[mike5432126]

Saw one on http://www.flushedup.com that said "Those interested in time travel, meet here last tuesday" lol

Another had "warning..beware of limbo dancers" on the bottom of the stall door.

 

[m_c_zero]

Anodyne in Albuquerque, NM:

"Only users lose drugs"

 

[Boleslaus]

Most of the toilet paper seat covers at Georgia Tech say "UGA diplomas" above them.

 

[fujieagle]

Saw this years ago in a bar in San Diego,
" Any loser can piss on the floor, it takes a real man to **** on the ceiling."
After reading it, couldn't help but look up at the ceiling.

 

[Joker]

"Damn that water is cold"

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"and deep too!"

 

[Homercidal]

"<Name of well-known female co-worker> has the whitest teeth I've ever come across!"

 

[DeafSmith]

You can shake it,
You can slap it,
You can beat it on the wall,
But you've got put it in your pants,
To make the last drop fall.


And this one appropriate for the fall season:

When the weather's hot and sticky,
That's no time for dippin' dicky.
But when the frost is on the punkin'
That's the time for dicky dunkin'.

 

[RCCOLA]

In a porta potty on the exhaust pipe:

"George Bush's drinking straw"

 

[2brew1cup]

Once, trying to be deep or something, i sent a text to one of the numbers on the wall saying. All the numbers on the bathroom wall, with all that they promise, but which will really show me a good time.. I woke up the next day to a voice mail saying " if you ever text anything like that to my 8 year old daugther again i will hunt you down and murder you!!"

underground and under the influence

 

[JonM]

Presented without comment.

 

[Hinermad]

Presented without comment.

Somebody needs to do that Clippy sketch where I work, only it should say "It looks like you're trying to create a user manual..."

Dave

 

[cyberwollf]

I've seen a line about 8 feet up that says "if you can piss this high join the fire dept"

Someone wrote "Jesus Saves!" then someone came along and added "at walmart"

"Dont throw toothpicks in the toliet, crabs can polevault"

 

[2brew1cup]

To add;

"jesus saves."
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"moses gets the rebound and SCOOOORRREEESSS!!"

underground and under the influence

 

[drainbamage]

I was in a porta-potty on a job site last year and I guess someone had been tampering with the rod that the toilet paper was mounted on. On the wall next to it someone had written, "DO NOT PULL ROD OUT AGAIN!!", followed by, "That's what she said." It descended into obscenity and gibberish from there.

 

[KayaBrew]

"We aim to please...you aim too, please"

 

[mcaple1]

sub'd

 

[Sean]

When all the $hithouse poets die,
They'll find erected in the sky,
In memory of their faithfull wit,
A monument of solid $hitt!

 

[mikebowman]

I've got 2 favorites.
1) On the wall to the left of the toilet, someone wrote "For a good tennis joke, look right". then on the right side of the wall, they wrote "For a good tennis joke, look left"

2) This one takes some backstory. I go to a small, Liberal Arts university in Halifax. The graffiti in the bathroom is usually pseudo-intellectual. Occasionally they paint over all the graffiti. They did this once several years ago, and the first person to write anything wrote "Tabula Rasa" on the freshly-painted wall. The nerdy philosophy student in me loved that one

 

[2brew1cup]

Hahaha the blank slate

underground and under the influence

 

[Bumbler]

Written on the latrine wall at summer camp was the phrase, "watch out for the snakes - they bite hard".

On the lighter side there is a restaurant in Duluth that has two way mirrors over the urinals, so when you are doing your thing you can see people eating in the restaurant.

 

[teal]

Here I sit a cheeks a flappin' - tried to poop and out came a Capt'n.

Don't eat the big white mint.