First Trimester Frustrations..

[aekdbbop]

My wife and I are 10 weeks pregnant. I am normally a calm and collected person, but lately, she is driving me nuts..

She has had nausea for the last 4 weeks straight... not just mornings, all day. I do my best to help her and get her food to make her feel better, but I am starting to feel a bit frustrated with her nausea.

She just yelled at me because I told her I was frustrated, saying "think if the roles were reversed, and you were sick".

I just told her that if I was sick for 4 weeks and just laid on the couch all day, that I would understand her being a little frustrated with me..

Am I totally in the wrong here? Anyone been through this trouble, and any tips?

Thanks...

 

[Yooper]

Well, I was the same way. When I was pregnant with my first child, I lost 18 pounds in the first 2 months. I was so sick, all the time. Morning sickness is not the right word- I was violently sick most of the time. It does pass, though, but it's not easy. Imagine having your breasts hurt, being nauseated, dizzy, and unable to sleep for weeks at a stretch. It's a terrible feeling. I know you're trying to be supportive, but please try to tough it out because it will get better.

The good part of this is: at about 14-16 weeks, the morning sickness and breast tenderness goes away and the hormones does something strange. What that means is this: horny all the time! I went from losing weight and being hospitalized to being hungry and horny. My poor husband would walk in the door and I'd spring at him from behind the door and pull him off to bed. He finally said that he liked me better sick!

The point is to just be patient. Having a growing fetus inside you is wonderful as you await the new baby. It's awfully terrible on your body, at the same time: sucking out your energy, causing physical pain sometimes, and many body changes. I used to say it was like having an alien (right after the movie Alien) inside me, too. I know it's hard for you, but in 4 more weeks, that will mostly be past history.

 

[Dr_Deathweed]

You got her pregnant. You are the source of all her problems at this point. I can see why she might be a little upset (even if it is unreasonable and/or illogical) if you start getting fustrated at her.

The nausea should subside fairly soon, if not getting it checked out shouldn't be too far from your mind. Until then I am thinking you are going to have to grin and bear it.

My $0.02

 

[DUCCCC]

Pay attention to what Yoop said.

After the nausea you're going to be in high demand. The better you are to her now the better she's going to be to you soon.

 

[hammacks]

Here's my tip:

You might not be wrong, but you'll just have to suck it up and deal with it. Bottom line is women have the harder role in this. I remember being frustrated, just like you describe. I just tried to help, and gave myself a little time alone if I felt like I was getting too frustrated (take a shower, make dinner, yardwork). This isn't going to last forever. She will remember how much help you were and how much she relied on you.

With that said, my wife did try to do what she could. At the time, she was actually helping/working for a family friend with me at his blueberry farm doing land maintance type of work up through about 7 months. When she wasn't working, she laid down on the bed alot watching movies (Netflix FTW).

Lastly, if you need to talk to her about your frustration, phrase it carefully. Make sure you tell her it upsets you to have to see her feel this way and you wish you could fix the morning (not like it only occurs in the morning) sickness for her, NOT that you are frustrated with HER. Be on her team.

EDIT: +1 on the horny pregnant women. Don't worry, little Jonny will forgive you for poking him in the head.

 

[mr_goodwrench]

+1 for grinning & bearing it. Unfortunately, she is not exactly in a state to understand (or give a crap about) your frustration. Man up and laugh about it later...much later.

 

[mr_goodwrench]

Preggo sex FTW :rockin::rockin:

 

[McKBrew]

Damn, I might be whipped, but I'd tread lightly here. No sense p!ssing of a pregnant SWMBO. Think of the sex that got you in this position and imagine not getting it anymore because you made her mad.

 

[Laurel]

I personally don't see the point in being frustrated with her. It's not her fault that she's sick, and I'm sure she hates being sick and stuck on the sofa all day. I can understand the frustration in playing butler and doing everything to make her feel better, but it's a result of the pregnancy, not of her being lazy. Instead of being frustrated with HER, tell her that you're frustrated that she's feeling so yucky and you can't maker her feel better. It'll help you to vent and shouldn't raise the ire of a pregnant SWMBO.

 

[aekdbbop]

We are better now.. needed some alone time, then I got the sleeping bags out and we went out back to look at the stars..

I just need to get this beer carbed up so i can drink it.. lol

 

[BrewBrain]

I've been through it three times. You are paying a very small price for what you get out of the deal in the end.

 

[adrock]

My wife and I are 10 weeks pregnant...

Dude, you're pregnant?! That's great; I haven't heard of guys being pregnant, except for that transexual a few months ago, and Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Junior." Pretty coincidental that your wife got pregnant at the same time, too! Good luck giving birth...I wonder where it'll come out?

 

[Homercidal]

She's sick AND has hormones screwing with her mind. For your own safety please just go with the flow and do what you can to help her. Soon it will get better, and then a few months later it will be great (except that you will be getting very little sleep and she will still have hormone problems...)

 

[DubbelDach]

aekdbbop, my wife is 9.5 weeks pregnant too. She describes how she feels as "hungover all the time". She was doing pretty well with it until this past week where she's chucked 3 of the last 5 days. Since she is a doctor, she has a good head about it, and knows it could be much worse... Might direct her to your wife's story.

Anyway, don't get frustrated. It's not her that is doing this, it's the fetus, lol. Ground it as soon as it's born! Really, just do everything you can to make her feel better. Massages, back scratches, cuddling, etc. are all good for Mrs. DD. This week she's also been getting headaches, so head massage/pressure has helped her. She's real finicky about food right now. I'd like her to eat more veggies, but they turn her stomach. As soon as they hit the 2nd trimester, this should clear up a bit.

Also, maybe she can ask her doctor for nausea meds? They were offered to my wife.

 

[DUCCCC]

We are better now.. needed some alone time, then I got the sleeping bags out and we went out back to look at the stars..

I just need to get this beer carbed up so i can drink it.. lol

Sounds like a good time.

Don't forget to pretend you're interested in decorating the nursery too. Just make it convincing.

 

[uglygoat]

it's only ten weeks dude, you got thirty more....

 

[mmb]

Good luck.

My wife was sick everyday, morning and night, when she was pregnant with our first for the whole pregnancy.

She'd wake up, throw up, and get ready for work. Then she'd have to stop the car half way to work and throw up. Got pretty used to that process of the the 9 months.

 

[Sk84BeeR]

I learned pretty early on that men need to have some tough skin throughout their ladys' pregnancy. My SWMBO and I are less than a month away now, to be honest there were times I thougt I was seriously going to go off on her, but I never got to that point.

Keep THIS in mind: She knows shes not pleasant now, if you remind her then she'll only feel worse about it. Try the opposite, tell her how great she's been. You'll be suprised at the results.

Good Luck! and Congrats!

 

[CodeRage]

Hide in the garage for 3 months. Thats about what I did. SWMBO had it BAD the 1st and 2nd tri. Bitchy to boot. She would start and I would make my way to the garage, "Where are you going?!","To the garage or prison for homocide"

Yeah, you can be frustratd with her, just dont let her know.

 

[the_bird]

Pregancy hormones, dude. Pregnancy hormones.

Just because she can't drink, doesn't mean you won't be able to convince your wife to sample some Edmund Fitzgerald Your window begins in a couple weeks....

 

[Cakehole]

My ex-SWMBO was sick 24/7 for the entire pregnancy...until we figured out a couple of things.....


1. When she was hungry, she needed to eat. No matter what time it is or what the hunger craving was for, she had to eat. This led to me always having 2 containers of Orange Chicken in the house at all times. Those cravings always came when the restaurant was closed.

2. we always kept an ice chest ( small one ) next to her side of the bed filled with ice and stuff like carnation instant breakfast, small bottles of milk, orange juice, apple juice and yogurts. This way, when the hunger pains hit at 130 am she could roll over and grab something to snack on and I could sleep through the night.

We just found what she could keep down and had that near her 24 hours a day. Eventually she was able to eat more regularly and the nausea faded a lot, but if she ever waited more than about 5 minutes to eat when the hunger pangs or cravings hit, she was sick for days after that.