Favorite line from a TV show

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For me it's from Seinfeld, when Kramar has 'little jerry' in the pot to warm his fighting feet on Jerry's stove, and Jerry turns to Kramar and says after great pause 'be careful'. And Kramar just makes some giggity noise. I didn't watch this whole video but I'm pretty sure it's in there:

 
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landshark said:
Homer Simpson: "I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T. I mean S-M-A-R-T."

I'm pretty sure that was Ralph Wiggum who said that.

Another one from Ralph:
Go banana!
 
No, that was definitely Homer. As the house was burning down, IIRC.

Whoa, you're right. My mind is blown.

I think I crossed it up with when Ralph was skipping along singing "I beat the smart kids" then fell and bent his wookiee.
 
Haha, that was one of Ralph's finer moments along with, "I dressed myself!" whilst standing in his footie pajamas with his arms through the legs, legs through the arms and face poking out of the butt flap.
 
Oh! Just thought of another one. Peter Griffin: "I don't want to wait for my lunch to get colder. Da da da da why can't I eat it now?" Sung to the tune of the Dawson's Creek theme.
 
Family Guy spoof of Empire Strikes Back:

Princess Leia: "I love you."
Han Solo: "F*ck off."
 
Taxi....Louie is asked if he has time available (I forget the employee's name)

Louie to employee: "Hey XYZ, what is on my calendar?"
Employee: "A big roach"
 
Taxi...Louie's blind girlfriend gets operation to get sight back. As they remove the bandages she says....

Louie's girlfriend: Louie...your beautiful!
Louie: Doc, it didn't work!"
 
"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as 'Smoke Yourself Thin' and 'Get Confident, Stupid!'"
 
Col Henry Blake: "Bet you don't know what kind of wood this is", stroking his new desk.
Hawkeye: "It's oak"
Col Blake: "Nope. It's oak!"

After all these years I still don't know why I think that's funny.

Nice throwback! I used to watch that show religiously when I was a kid. Never in any particular order, just whichever episode was on. I should watch that show from the beginning.
 
"I haven't seen you in here before. I like that in a woman." Bruce Campbell in Crimewave

"I bent my wookie." Ralph Wiggum
 
Trapper: "He's not a pervert!"
Frank Burns: "How do you know?"
Trapper: "Because I'm one and he's never at the meetings!"
 
George to Jerry upon George's announcement of the "manage et trois " solution to the never before completed "roommate switch": "Do you ever get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?"
 
Two And A Half Men:

Allen (while being repeatedly insulted by Charlie): Is there a point to this?

Charlie: Nope, just drillin' for the nerve!
 
Two And A Half Men:

Allen (while being repeatedly insulted by Charlie): Is there a point to this?

Charlie: Nope, just drillin' for the nerve!

Allen to Steven Tyler.....

Allen:hey I lost my virginity to you!

Steven Tyler: Really, I don't remember a lot of the 70's.

..or something like that.
 
Col Henry Blake: "Bet you don't know what kind of wood this is", stroking his new desk.
Hawkeye: "It's oak"
Col Blake: "Nope. It's oak!"

After all these years I still don't know why I think that's funny.

Oh I remember that episode! They traded that sweet desk to some Korean officer in exchange for drugs or something. They cut the back of Blake's office out and lifted the desk away with a helicopter(?)

Remember that episode where everyone was pulling pranks and Hawkeye was paranoid someone was going to prank him and he surrounded himself with barbed wire and at the end you find out he was the only one pranked. Making him paranoid WAS the prank!

ok, that didn't have a line quoted, but there was one episode where Burns dug an air raid shelter and B.J. filled it with water and yelled "AIR RAID" and Burns runs out in a panick and jumps into the shelter.
 
From Seinfeld...


SID: Moving cars from one side of the street to the other don't take no more sense than putting on a pair of pants. My question to you is who's putting your pants on?

GEORGE: I put my pants on, Sid.

SID: I don't believe you. If you can put your pants on, you can move those cars.
 
It's clearly more than one line, but it's way too funny.

 
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Not sure if this one's been posted yet, but I love it! It still makes me laugh. If you're under the age of say...30, it'll probably be lost on you.

 
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