Drunken ramblngs

[Cape Brewing]

You're a fine one to talk.

(YAWWWWWN)

Ugggg... man... I'm sleepy from all those double IPAs and meads. I got-sta hit the sack!! I don't want to be too sleepy for when I'm parking in front of the TV watching English Premier League soccer tomorrow.

While don't you run along and take some anal temperatures on some 85 year olds.

Maybe I'll check in when I wake up and see if you're still around!

nighty night!!!

 

[paulthenurse]

Unlike you, when I take an temp I use a thermometer. Is that the line you plan on using when you and your 'club' members get busted?

"Uh, why no Officer, I'm just checking the lads temperature. Does he feel hot to you?"

 

[paulthenurse]

Not out of bed yet? Man, those NAMBLA meetings must really take a toll on you.

 

[babalu87]

(YAWWWWWN)

Ugggg... man... I'm sleepy from all those double IPAs and meads. I got-sta hit the sack!! I don't want to be too sleepy for when I'm parking in front of the TV watching English Premier League soccer tomorrow.

While don't you run along and take some anal temperatures on some 85 year olds.

Maybe I'll check in when I wake up and see if you're still around!

nighty night!!!

What meeting did you have last night?

The Brotherhood of the Un-finished brew sculptures?

 

[paulthenurse]

NAMBLA. He's the President of the local chapter. (You gots to keep up with the thread, brother. You gots too. See posts 170 and 171 for all the disturbing details.)

 

[babalu87]

NAMBLA. He's the President of the local chapter. (You gots to keep up with the thread, brother. You gots too. See posts 170 and 171 for all the disturbing details.)

Right but the FAIL brew sculpture club meet after NAMBLA correct?

 

[paulthenurse]

FAIL... 'Fermentation Always In Limbo' Brew Sculpture Club

 

[Cape Brewing]

You know... I like to think of the Universe as a entire being... a singular body if you will... so.. . if the Universe is a singular body, there must be a massive, huge, ridiculously enourmous ass.

You two suck that ass

 

[babalu87]

You know... I like to think of the Universe as a entire being... a singular body if you will... so.. . if the Universe is a singular body, there must be a massive, huge, ridiculously enourmous ass.

You two suck that ass

Yeah but we're first in line
You're actually standing in line to suck ass

 

[Cape Brewing]

I Don't Even Know What That Means!?!?

 

[babalu87]

I Don't Even Know What That Means!?!?

Your the 10th guy in line at the gang bang

 

[paulthenurse]

Actually, I think that he gets first shot at it as President.

 

[paulthenurse]

Your the 10th guy in line at the gang bang

Does that mean he has to eat the cookie?

 

[yeager1977]

Why? Would you be jealous that it wasn't you that got to eat it this time? With that picture of you in the thong I could believe that...

 

[Cape Brewing]

Hey Paul... shouldn't you be curled up with a nice glass of pink zinfandel, getting ready for bed?

 

[paulthenurse]

Pink Zinfandel... Please. The Bud Light of the wine world.

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

So... you picked up on the joke then huh?

nice... no sneakin' anything by that iron trap of a brain you're rockin' there slick.

"HEYYY MAAAWW... He done just made that there wine joke!! But I's not done fooled that time!!"

 

[paulthenurse]

Start in on the Apfelwein already?

 

[yeager1977]

Post removed by request.

PTN: You know I love you in a non homosexual way

 

[paulthenurse]

Rein in there, Gilligan. I hardly make fun of you on this board at all, for the most part that's reserved for TWB.

I do get a big kick out of how you always act real tough when you are away from home. It's like they come out of dormancy or something. And do you REALLY want to go getting Smurf involved in this? He'll dope slap you so hard McKenzie will cry.

 

[paulthenurse]

Post removed by request.

PTN: You know I love you in a non homosexual way

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

 

[paulthenurse]

You know... I like to think of the Universe as a entire being... a singular body if you will... so.. . if the Universe is a singular body, there must be a massive, huge, ridiculously enourmous ass.

'The World According to Cape Brewing'... Deep, deep philosophical thoughts for the feeble minded.

On sale thru Homebrewtalk.com. Only $0.99!!!!!


For a limited time only, when you buy 'The World According to Cape Brewing' we'll include his other book 'The Complete Idiots Guide to Building a Brew Sculpture.'


Read some of the reviews for TWATCB" and TCIGTBABS:


"I laughed, I cried, I threw up a little in my mouth." NY Times

"I ran right out and dropped $4 grand so I could have a brew sculpture just like Cape Brewings. Mine doesn't work either!" Bob Villa

"After reading Cape Brewing's book I sold all my belongings and set off in search of the Universe's massive, huge, ridiculously enourmous ass. What a journey of self flagellation and discovery!" The Christian Science Monitor.

"Your thumb is up the Universe's massive, huge ridiculously enourmous ass, that's why your brew sculpture doesn't work. But I can tell you how to fix it." Dr Phil

"Relax, don't worry, go buy a rack of Bud, cause that dog ain't ever gonna hunt." Charlie Papazian

"How great is this? A print version of "Junk Yard Wars" Meets "Myth Busters!" And I've got an autographed copy!!!" Paulthenurse


PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

BTW Brian,

Tex and I worked out a deal where we split a 12% commision on any sales of your books thru HBT. That's CAPITALISM, Baby!

Just think, at the 15 cents you are going to net on each book sold you only have to sell 26,666 copies to pay for your failed brew sculpture. Tex probably gets 26K n00bs signing up here every year or so. It'll be a cinch!

PTN

 

[Cape Brewing]

MAN, you are on a roll!

We've had a lot of fun on this thread. My guess is we've probably offended a couple of people (and for that I do feel bad) and we've probably made a couple of people chuckle but i want to say one quick thing before we get back into ripping each other apart.

I honestly think it's great that someone of your age is able to embrace technology the way you have. normally, people as old as you can't find their way to the on/off switch, never mind the interwebs. You've broken that stereotype in my mind and for that i applaud you.

The next time I see a little old man on one of those scooters in the grocery store, I won't get so bummed out thinking, "God, I don't want to see those days for myself for a LONG LONG time", I can think of you and how well you seem to do for your age.... brewing beer, taking smack on message boards....

It's inspirational to be honest.

As a matter of fact... PTN...

I applaud you!! (standing and clapping)

Keep up the good work!!! You're an inspiration to us all!!

(still clapping) c'mon folks! let's hear it for Paul!

 

[yeager1977]

Hurray for old fat men!!!!!!!!

 

[paulthenurse]

Why thank you, son. That's awfully nice of you to say.

Yup, I remember back during the Blizzard of 78 when we were stuck in the Garden watching the Beanpot, we didn't have technology then. No Freakin Weatherchannel. We sucked it up and walked home afterwards.

Yup, we didn't have fancy pants Baltic Porters then. No siree, we drank Bud and were damned glad to get it.

Yup, no Single Malt Scotch either. Bahhhhh. Our scotch came with a clipper ship on the front of it and then only if you worked a bunch of overtime hours. (Who am I kidding, We couldn't afford shoes back then, who could afford fancy booze imported from Scotland.)

Yup, the world has changed a lot since I first noticed grey hairs south of the border. And you are right, I've embraced it all. I am a technoweinie. Hell, in so MANY way's I have Metrosexual tendencies. (Ok if there isn't a red, white and blue diagonally rotating pole out front I'm not getting my hair cut there, even if the barber will stuff her **** in my ear as she does the deed.)

Yup, not that many years ago my daughters were pulling my old Grateful Dead albums out of their jackets. Sheila turned to Beth and said, "Look at the size of these CD's, these things are enourmous!"

Yup, it's true, for the most part I'm only good for once a night these days. I'd rather get the extra hour of sleep.


So let me give you the benefit of my life experience. Let me offer you a few words of hard won experience and wisdom...




Toss that piece of sheet brew rig out in the trash. Sanitary landfill, brother! Take that nuclear flux capacitor and the dilithium crystal hop back off and dispose of them properly and just scrap the rest of that sheet. You ain't ever going to make a beer half as good as Babalu's Baltic Porter, never mind one of my beers.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pee. Again.

PTN

 

[paulthenurse]

Hey CB,
Is it just a coincidence that your book title acroynm is ****-CB?

 

[Cape Brewing]

(standing and clapping)

... and he still has his wits...

Good for you Paul! Good for you!!!

Sharp as a tack... yeeeaaahhhhhhhhh Paul!!!!!!

 

[Cape Brewing]

... and my lengthy rig build is nothing but a ploy Paul. See, I figured I would get all buddy buddy with you on this thread as we make fun and rip each other up... "Ohhh happy times.. ha ha ha... you're so funny" and then... before too long... You'll just be dead anyway... and then I can just take your rig.

I figuring it's any day now given how old you are.

SONOFA!!!!! I just had a horrible thought!!!! SONOFA!!! Oh man... this sucks... I just realized I've never seen your rig and given the whole four foot nuthin' you are... the thing is probably made for an Oopa Loompa!!

Oh... never mind... I can just put it all on a big-boy table and I should be fine.

Phew... that was a close call.

PS. You have a wee-little mash paddle don't you?

 

[paulthenurse]

Brian, Brian, Brian.



Brian, Brian, Brian.



Listen, there really is no easy way to say this so I'm just going to have to come out with it. I've aggonized over this for a long, long time. Every time I thought the time was right, well, something would come up to show me that I should wait. You should probably sit down.

Let me tell you a story. A long time ago I was living in a Yurt in the Gobi Desert, selling tye dyed tee shirts, Pall Malls and cheap beer to the local nomads. One day a girl showed up riding a camel. Wow, she was something. She was hot. I mean she was HAWT! HAWT HAWT HAWT!!!

And a total freak! I mean she just couldn't get enough. She wouldn't leave me alone. "Baby, I'm not from Havana!" I'd work hard all day selling my stuff to the nomads then be up all night laying pipe. She damn near drained me dry.

Then one day she came to me and told me that she was late. The next day she was gone. Just disappeard and went home to the USA. I used to get postcards from her over the years, and every once in a while she would send me pictures. Once I got a report card in the mail. It was tough, knowing that I couldn't be involved in that part of her life but our stars were on different paths.

Do you remember the red firetruck you got for Christmas when you were 3?

Yes Brian, I am your father.

And there is something else. You are right, I am old and infirm and it seems I will be dead soon. I have Osteosarcoma and a rip roaring urinary tract infection. My girls have no intrest in brewing and soon enough my brew rig will be yours. Use it well. With my brew rig and your genetic imprint you can start a commercial brewery that will allow you to conquer the civilized world.

Ok, this is too painful for me right now, I have to leave it for a while. I'll write more later. Just remember, Brian. Daddy loves you.

PTN