Dating a HOT embalmer.......

[cheezydemon3]

Even the embalming part is kinda hot, but she texts me things like:

"Thanks! You are a sweetheart! Glad we met. I am headed to the funeral home. I have 3 bodies waiting on me"

And I gape for a moment of surreal disbelief.......

I guess I will get used to it. (we are not too serious yet)

I get the feeling that very few women are in this industry......especially hot ones.....

:cross:

 

[Rockn_M]

Ummmm.....I don't think I could get past that.

 

[cheezydemon3]

I am past it, in fact it was a turn on the first date. Of course at that point, it is a little vague. The 3 corpses on ice waiting for the girl I kiss is a little more "meat hook reality" (to Hunter S Thompson it)

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Even the embalming part is kinda hot, but she texts me things like:

"Thanks! You are a sweetheart! Glad we met. I am headed to the funeral home. I have 3 bodies waiting on me"

And I gape for a moment of surreal disbelief.......

I guess I will get used to it. (we are not too serious yet)

I get the feeling that very few women are in this industry......especially hot ones.....

:cross:

I'd expect the christmas parties would leave you bored stiff.

 

[Hopper5000]

well one of you likes them cold and limp...

 

[Rockn_M]

How does someone get in a job like that? Is it a family business?

 

[Randy_Bugger]

http://science.discovery.com/tv-shows/oddities/videos/model-mortician.htm

The reality TV show Oddities had a female mortician who was also a model.

 

[cheezydemon3]

http://science.discovery.com/tv-shows/oddities/videos/model-mortician.htm

The reality TV show Oddities had a female mortician who was also a model.

well, (thank r2d2) that isn't her.....in fact, mine might be cuter...although that awful dress and strange "hunching" might have hid some attractiveness.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

How does someone get in a job like that?

You just gotta bury the competition.

 

[beaksnbeer]

Brings a whole new meaning to a couple of cold ones waiting. I wouldn't have a problem (I dated a girl that did hair and make-up for a funeral home) They don't complain much she use to say all the time. Freaks a lot people out when they found out what she did for a living. She said one time that she'd get less odd looks if she said she was a prostitute She did finish school and became a mortician and had to move away for work "It's a dead-end job you have to die to get out." I have the same type of humor so it's was cool, they usually need to joke and be happy work must be pretty depressing. Glad for you C.D. good luck.

 

[mbobhat]

The irony is, in drinking alcohol our bodies produce a little bit of formaldehyde, so doesn't that mean you are both 'embalmers' ?. You just don't do other people, except maybe her after some mutual embalming haha

Scratch that and old wives tale, only if you drank bad moonshine would your body produce formaldehyde.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

Only time you should ever have worries is IF she ever suggests a threesome with someone she works with.

 

[neosapien]

that's freakin' awesome. might be a keeper.

 

[unionrdr]

Idk if I could get past that Queen of the Undead thing... I mean she sounds like Alice Cooper's "I love the dead...".

 

[butterpants]

pix plz

 

[Randy_Bugger]

pix plz

Actually, pics are mandatory.

You can't tell the internet you are dating a HOT mortician without posting some pics.

 

[butterpants]

Agreed. She also must be holding a homebrew.... or in a bikini.

 

[Bobby_M]

Sounds like bad news. Bitches be crazy, especially the ones that know how to get rid of the body.

 

[cheezydemon3]

Lol, shoulda known I'd need proof.

She's a cute blue eyed blonde. Not the least bit goth. (nor a brunette, my usual goto) Don't know if "can I post pics of you on the interwebz???" is the smart next move.

 

[butterpants]

you think she reads this forum? highly unlikely

 

[NewWestBrewer]

Posting pics might lead to Cheezy's demise....and wouldn't be difficult for her to get rid of the body.

 

[cheezydemon3]

My biggest concern is whether or not she likes horror/zombie movies....

It might be a "Oh that's not how dead tissue acts!" or "I do this all day, I don't want to see it at home" or just a "Meh, been there done that".

 

[beaksnbeer]

My biggest concern is whether or not she likes horror/zombie movies....

It might be a "Oh that's not how dead tissue acts!" or "I do this all day, I don't want to see it at home" or just a "Meh, been there done that".

Imagine how a OBGYN must see things

 

[KayaBrew]

pix plz

Of the girl or the stiffs?

 

[cthulu1975]

Make sure she is holding the bikini, while drinking a homebrew.

 

[aiptasia]

Is she as hot as Rachael Griffiths was on Six Feet Under?

 

[Cyclman]

I am sure she is deadicated to her work.

 

[jhoneycutt]

Yep pix or it ain't happening lol

 

[mikescooling]

Whatever you do don't get her mad!! Don't go in any rooms with drop cloths on the floor.

 

[TangoHotel]

Agreed. She also must be holding a homebrew.... or in a bikini.

Borrowing from some commercial I saw somewhere.

The difference between or and and.

Serve and protect.
Bed and breakfast.
Sweet and sour.
Beer and bikini.

Have her brew with you, a pirate beer called 'dead men tell no ales' and document the experience.

We all like and better.

 

[TheWitGuy]

Pics of said girlfriend.

 

[cheezydemon3]

Lol, not my GF yet.....

And I didn't post this to brag. If I was just dating a hot chick, this would have never been posted. It is the texts (Just got another) referencing "bodies".

It is almost as if Embalmers measure time in bodies.

"When are you done today?"

"3 Bodies to go"

 

[Melana]

How does one meet an Embalmer anyway?

 

[sweetcell]

Even the embalming part is kinda hot, but she texts me things like:

"Thanks! You are a sweetheart! Glad we met. I am headed to the funeral home. I have 3 bodies waiting on me"

And I gape for a moment of surreal disbelief.......

the fact that we're on page 4 and no one caught this has shaken my confidence in you lot.

 

[cheezydemon3]

the fact that we're on page 4 and no one caught this has shaken my confidence in you lot.

gape
/gāp/Verb
Stare with one's mouth open wide, typically in amazement or wonder.

Shake away, I might not have literally let my jaw swing all the way open, but I did stare with what was likely a blank stare for a full 5 seconds.

*sigh* so wtf?

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

the fact that we're on page 4 and no one caught this has shaken my confidence in you lot.

Mkay, bye then.

All you Rockville Double Maryland'ers can bugger off!

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

How does one meet an Embalmer anyway?

Anal meth abuse support group.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

This whole time I am thinking that there is absolutely nothing cheezy can do to gross her out. The possibilities are endless...

I'm a horrible person.

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

This whole time I am thinking that there is absolutely nothing cheezy can do to gross her out. The possibilities are endless...

I'm a horrible person.

Toung in her ear might do the trick. Although she might notice the toung missing from the jar.

 

[Melana]

Is she into hot peppers and beer?