Chuck Norris Beer Facts

[completegeek]

Chuck Norris doesn't have alcohol in his blood stream, he has blood in his alcohol stream.

 

[Zacharias]

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, he doesnt get drunk, The beer gets "chuck".

 

[azscoob]

Chuck Norris lost a homebrew competition once.....

to Bruce Lee's Fists of Fuggles / Pale 2 Row SMASH!!!

I revisit the earlier win, revoke and re-WIN!!

Face kick to the beard of doom!

 

[KCBrewer]

IIPA was created by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to an MGD 64.

 

[northernlad]

Chuck Norris chews barley and hops with a yeast slurry chaser, ferments in his stomach, secondaries in his bladder and pisses 20% Barleywine.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Chuck Norris not only does infomercials, Chuck Norris sells crap to idiots on infomercials.

I'll try to catch up to the trend later.

 

[completegeek]

Your favorite beer style is whatever Chuck Norris is drinking.

Everyone loved the first batch Chuck Norris brewed. Then he killed them all with a swift roundhouse kick. All went to heaven with no regrets.

 

[pwndabear]

Chuck Norris' beard brews beer.

 

[jturie]

Chuck Norris can stain stainless steel

Chuck Norris is the most interesting man in the world. He doesn't always drink beer, but he wouldn't be caught dead drinking Dos Equis.

 

[pwndabear]

Chuck Norris' favorite beer is the one that you just handed him out of sheer terror.

 

[Pivovar_Koucky]

Chuck Norris uses the tears of his victims to sparge.

This is my favorite

 

[lurker18]

Chuck Norris does not know what a chiller is, he just stares down the boil with his icy gaze.

 

[arturo7]

CN crushes his grains with a single roundhouse kick to the grain bag.

 

[bob1852]

Chuck Norris uses liquid yeast without a starter, and dry yeast with a starter and hasn't needed to post in "I made a mistake and my beer turned out fine" thread...

 

[pwndabear]

Chuck Norris uses liquid yeast without a starter, and dry yeast with a starter and hasn't needed to post in "I made a mistake and my beer turned out fine" thread...

...but he has. Because Chuck Norris rubs it in.

 

[barrog]

Chuck Norris doesn't brew bad beer....Only new styles

Do not clone Chuck Norris's beer....He will find you and kill you

There is no chin under Chuck Norris's beard....Only another mug of beer
(yea I know thats a copy of one but I like it)

 

[Ouroboros]

Chuck Norris uses liquid yeast without a starter, and dry yeast with a starter and hasn't needed to post in "I made a mistake and my beer turned out fine" thread...

Chuck Norris doesn't need yeast. He just tells the wort, "make beer or I'll kick your ass".

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Chuck Norris is a p#ssy, and has a yeast infection.

 

[pwndabear]

Chuck Norris is a p#ssy, and has a yeast infection.

uh oh... that was a bad idea.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

uh oh... that was a bad idea.

yeah, I know. I just hate that stupid CN carp though!

 

[Hannable1975]

Chuck Norris does not use an airlock - bacteria knows better than to mess with Chuck Norris's brew.

 

[DirtyPolock]

Chuck Norris doesn't need an immersion chiller, he just does a roundhouse kick above the wort and the draft from the kick lowers the temperature from a boil to 65* in seconds.

Chuck Norris doesn't need an autosiphon, it starts on its own out of pure respect for him.

Chuck Norris can make a barley wine with the third wort runnings.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his great brewing skills and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now brew beer every second Wednesday of the month. (copied but one of my favorite Chuck facts)

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Chuck Norris carbonates BMC by farting into the keg. Chuck Norris is proud of his amazingly versatile ass.

 

[weirdboy]

Chuck says "Relax, don't worry or I'll roundhouse kick you in the face."

 

[DannyG]

I normally hate the Chuck Norris meme, but this time I'll bite:

Chuck Norris's beer brews its own beer. And it's still better than yours.

 

[Laughing_Gnome_Invisible]

Chuck Norris's vagina brews better beer than you!

 

[completegeek]

Chuck Norris just came out with a new style. It's called Crying Gnome Visible

 

[bob1852]

Chuck Norris just came out with a new style. It's called Crying Gnome Visible

you win the interwebz!

 

[vandeg]

Chuck Norris makes Eisbier with his cold stares and it isn't considered distilling by the government because the government knows better then to mess with Chuck.

Chuck Norris uses hop pellets, created by shoving hops down his victim's throats and collecting the pellets from the backside.

Chuck Norris once brewed in Alabama, his brew was so awesome that the state outlawed home brewing because of him.

Some other ones I found online:
Chuck Norris eats beer and drinks bear for breakfast.

The word "Kill" was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were "Die", "Beer", and "What".

When Chuck Norris orders a beer ... the beer obeys.

Chuck Norris twists off crown caps.

The Dos Equis guy is not exploring the world. He's hiding from Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris washes down his beer with pizza.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, he prefers the tears of the Dos Equis man. And Chuck Norris is always thirsty.

 

[curlyfat]

Chuck Norris doesn't brew bad beer....Only new styles

I almost pooed myself! :rockin: AHAHAH!

I want this to be my bumper sticker with "Chuck Norris" replaced with "Me"....LOL!