Best News Headlines

[Hoppy2bmerry]

They're monkeys. They'd just as soon jerk off.

Yup, that fact and that they mount each other just for the fun of it or to show dominance makes this truly silly and unnecessary. They don’t even care if people are watching.

 

[Broothru]

OK, this is a Reddit and not technically a "news" headline, but it involves someone from Florida being stupid so I think it qualifies here under bylaw 439 :

Wow. Do I feel foolish. All this time I've been adding ounces of fluorine.

 

[soccerdad]

I always buy by the gram in Florida

 

[Deadalus]

Google won't convert a lid to grams either...

 

[Kent88]

The Dutch vow to egg Jeff Bezos' yacht if a bridge is dismantled to let his boat pass

 

[balrog]

Are Dutch eggs kinda like Scotch eggs, but with tulips and hash?

 

[Kent88]

The difference is kinda like the difference between a London fog and a Dublin fog

 

[Homebrew Harry]

Google won't convert a lid to grams either...

Wow. I vaguely remember lids

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

The Dutch vow to egg Jeff Bezos' yacht if a bridge is dismantled to let his boat pass

They proclaim this as if they have a supply of rotten eggs at the ready. Who has that?

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Are Dutch eggs kinda like Scotch eggs, but with tulips and hash?

My guess is tulips and herring.

 

[Northern_Brewer]

They proclaim this as if they have a supply of rotten eggs at the ready. Who has that?

The bins at the nearest advocaat factory?

 

[Kent88]

They proclaim this as if they have a supply of rotten eggs at the ready. Who has that?

Well, how long will it take for that bridge to be dismantles and the super yacht to pass by?

Long enough for a few eggs to go bad, I assume.

If not, do the eggs need to be rotten?

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Well, how long will it take for that bridge to be dismantles and the super yacht to pass by?

Long enough for a few eggs to go bad, I assume.

If not, do the eggs need to be rotten?

Yes! Rotten eggs all the way!

 

[balrog]

Yes! Rotten eggs all the way!

I think if you practice closed transfer from chicken to CO2 flushed carton, you can increase the time before the go ba

Oh never mind. It wasn’t that good of a joke and way off topic.

 

[Kent88]

I think if you practice closed transfer from chicken to CO2 flushed carton, you can increase the time before the go ba

Oh never mind. It wasn’t that good of a joke and way off topic.

It's ok, nobody took the bait earlier when I brought up London fog vs Dublin fog. That wasn't a good joke either.

 

[balrog]

It's ok, nobody took the bait earlier when I brought up London fog vs Dublin fog. That wasn't a good joke either.

i desperately tried to come up with a sulfates or brogue joke but the muse failed me.

 

[Kent88]

i desperately tried to come up with a sulfates or brogue joke but the muse failed me.

London fog uses Earl Grey, Dublin fog uses Irish Breakfast. Also, Dublin fog harbors a great resentment toward London fog.

 

[soccerdad]

It is said that Earl Grey has bergamot in it because they found it settled the Earl's sensitive stomach. He should have tried Dark Mild

 

[day_trippr]

I've always been suspicious of the whole "ice fishing" thing

https://news.yahoo.com/ohio-mayor-ice-shanties-may-194753344.html

 

[Kent88]

I've always been suspicious of the whole "ice fishing" thing

https://news.yahoo.com/ohio-mayor-ice-shanties-may-194753344.html

That mayor has clearly never been near a frozen lake or an ice fisherperson.

 

[doug293cz]

I've always been suspicious of the whole "ice fishing" thing

https://news.yahoo.com/ohio-mayor-ice-shanties-may-194753344.html

So can houses, cars, garages, sheds, hotels, motels, RV's, vans ...

Brew on

 

[homebeerbrewer]

https://apnews.com/article/39e6be91f937b9bd1cde8ac9f0a889ff

 

[day_trippr]

^Ahahahahahahaha!^ That's hilarious!

 

[Jhedrick83]

The Dutch vow to egg Jeff Bezos' yacht if a bridge is dismantled to let his boat pass

That man and his yacht deserve a thorough Dutch Ovening…

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

I've always been suspicious of the whole "ice fishing" thing

https://news.yahoo.com/ohio-mayor-ice-shanties-may-194753344.html

If he is like some contemporary political figures, he is just projecting what he would do/has done under the cover of ice fishing.

 

[Kent88]

Ok, either I'm ice fishing wrong, or you all are ice fishing wrong.

There is nothing about going out on the ice, into a tiny little tent, on a day where outside temperatures might at best get above freezing, putting on a zillion layers, not having access to a restroom with soap and running water, and getting my hands full of larvae guts and fish slime, that makes me think "gosh, it's a shame to waste this cramped, semi-private space, I should really find a way to 'get busy' in here".

I don't want to kink shame anyone, but the thought of all that just doesn't start my tractor, if you know what I mean.

 

[balrog]

I spend hours in the freezing cold, when outside temperatures can be single digits, getting my hands sticky and messy and dealing with great gobs of messy stuff, all the time.

I get beer out of it.

 

[soccerdad]

Ok, either I'm ice fishing wrong, or you all are ice fishing wrong.

There is nothing about going out on the ice, into a tiny little tent, on a day where outside temperatures might at best get above freezing, putting on a zillion layers, not having access to a restroom with soap and running water, and getting my hands full of larvae guts and fish slime, that makes me think "gosh, it's a shame to waste this cramped, semi-private space, I should really find a way to 'get busy' in here".

I don't want to kink shame anyone, but the thought of all that just doesn't start my tractor, if you know what I mean.

I never went for the winter perch. Just sayin'

 

[lurker18]

I never went for the winter perch. Just sayin'

No one has said they are going snapper fishing and that's why their fingers smell like bait? Come on man, so many openings there.

 

[Homebrew Harry]

I

They proclaim this as if they have a supply of rotten eggs at the ready. Who has that?

Rotten or not that would be a bitch to clean !