Am I a beer snob?

[MisterTipsy]

Emily Post is a good source:

“The good guest is almost invisible, enjoying him- or herself, communing with fellow guests, and, most of all, enjoying the generous hospitality of the hosts.”
— E. Post

I'm going to bet you don't heed the all sage etiquette advice of E. Post while socializing. Why is this one so important to you?

 

[MisterTipsy]

You can do that when you're a considerate host.

Fixed that for you

 

[TyTanium]

You're a tool. I'm out.



Sorry OP, hope there's some good insight here for you.

 

[evrose]

None of your friends abstained, right? If they did, you would have been offended, right?

Abstinence has nothing to do with this. Of course there were people who didn't drink alcohol. We had a wide variety of non-alcoholic drinks for the kids and non-drinkers. I would feel the same about a person who HAD TO HAVE a diet Cherry Dr. Pepper (or whatever) and left the reception to go find one because they just simply couldn't live for three hours on what we were serving.

It's not about the alcohol (I know that's lost on some people here, being a forum dedicated to people who make alcohol for fun), it's about the etiquette.

 

[MisterTipsy]

You're a tool. I'm out.

Sorry OP, hope there's some good insight here for you.

I see you have resorted to name calling. Emily Post does not approve!

I'd report your post, but I'm not a tool.

 

[MisterTipsy]

Abstinence has nothing to do with this. Of course there were people who didn't drink alcohol. We had a wide variety of non-alcoholic drinks for the kids and non-drinkers. I would feel the same about a person who HAD TO HAVE a diet Cherry Dr. Pepper (or whatever) and left the reception to go find one because they just simply couldn't live for three hours on what we were serving.

It's not about the alcohol (I know that's lost on some people here, being a forum dedicated to people who make alcohol for fun), it's about the etiquette.

The amount of time the OP was MIA was likely the same as going to the bathroom. If he got in his car and went to the liquor store for an hour, then that is a bit overboard. I've attended dozens of weddings and I've never had to head downstairs to buy a drink, but I'm not opposed to it.

As a host, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if someone chose to drink what they enjoy instead of what I provided and I wouldn't think they think they are better than me because of it.

 

[Grinnan5150]

The bride and groom (or whoever is flipping he bill) has to pay for the open bar regardless of what you drink. Most weddings I have been too wind up extending the bar hour because so many people want to still drink. So if the booze isn't going to go to waste; if you leave for 10 minutes to get something else I don't see a problem.

I think complaining about what is served is rude though. I know at my reception we only had our choice between Miller or Coors. It's not like I wanted to serve that but that were the options we were stuck with. I think hat is he case with most reception packages.

 

[downtown3641]

It seems like people are, simultaneously, over thinking and overgeneralizing. I suspect most hosts want their friends and family to have a good time and would not be opposed to someone stepping away for a few minutes to get a beverage they enjoy. Some hosts may be uptight and throw a fit. It's all about having some situational awareness. Don't do it if it's going to tick off the bride. If the OP felt that he wasn't being rude and the hosts felt the same, who are any of you to criticize the behavior?

 

[chiteface]

I don't know about anyone else, but i wouldn't have even noticed. Now if someone were to approach me and tell me that my spread sucked, then yes thar would be uncalled for. But once again as someone who has tended bar at a lot if weddings, alot of times we would select what beers we were bringing up the day of the event, so if a guest asked for something else, we got it. I know of very few people who specifically pick all their beers, so since it isn't their choice why would the hosts be offended.

I can also say that a wedding is not just about the host, if that was the case really, it would be the parents of the couple in most cases. I know this seems semantic, but it is accurate.

Also on a side note I feel like this particular situation deserves consideration because if you are only in state for a short time, i don't believe Shorts really distributes out if state, get it while you can.

 

[evrose]

The amount of time the OP was MIA was likely the same as going to the bathroom.

1. That's an assumption. And you know what they say about those.

2. Even if true, it totally misses the point.

3. This is like trying to explain color to a blind person. Geesh.

 

[MisterTipsy]

1. That's an assumption. And you know what they say about those.

2. Even if true, it totally misses the point.

3. This is like trying to explain color to a blind person. Geesh.

I understand you point of view. I just don't agree with it.

 

[Pilgarlic]

I'm going to bet you don't heed the all sage etiquette advice of E. Post while socializing. Why is this one so important to you?

As i said earlier, etiquette isn't high on my list. But if I choose to ignore it, that doesn't redefine etiquette and allow me to claim my behavior is polite.

 

[MisterTipsy]

You didn't answer the question and I didn't claim such behavior was polite or rude. It's neither. It should be a non-issue for both parties.

Now, if you take your fancy beer and waive it in the face of the bride and groom while saying that you had to go buy a good beer because what they served is crap, well that is a different story.

Explain to me why you would be offended if someone chose to pay for a beer they like to drink instead of the free stuff they don't like to drink.

 

[Pilgarlic]

Tipsy, you're jousting with windmills. I'm not the arbiter or courtesy, etiquette or good taste, and don't claim to be. If you want to redefine polite society and its rules, go for it, but you'll have to make your case against someone else. You believe it "should be a non issue". Well, the fact is, it is an issue. I'm not saying you ought to 1) understand manners, 2) agree with them, or 3) practice them. I hear you. You think etiquette and manners are bull****. I won't venture an opinion one way or another on that score. I'm simply saying that you can't choose to ignore convention and then get yourself off the hook by suggesting that either the conventions don't exist or that they shouldn't. If you choose to ignore manners and conventions, you're ill-mannered and unconventional. Embrace it!

 

[MisterTipsy]

You believe it "should be a non issue". Well, the fact is, it is an issue.

And once again you have avoided the question. It isn't an issue for everyone. Now tell me why it's an issue for some people.

You think etiquette and manners are bull****.

Absolutely untrue.

 

[chiteface]

I think what tipsy is saying, and I would have to agree is, what convention? I think we disagree that there actually is one in this case.

 

[Pilgarlic]

Honestly, Tipsy. I mean, in all sincerity, I believe you don't understand the concept of manners. If the fact that "it isn't an issue for everyone" makes it acceptable, you've just ratcheted "manners" down to the least common denominator, and passing gas at the table is mannerly, because it "isn't an issue for everyone."

Since you asked me to justify this simple polite convention I will. A wedding reception is, for many brides, grooms and their families, a once in a lifetime affair. They plan carefully and provide as generously as they can. They see it as a point of pride to provide for their guests and, to the extent that they can, to make it a "perfect" affair. That's the stage onto which the OP walks. He finds that there is no beer to his liking. If he is polite, he chooses to either drink the beer offered or to do without and drink something else. He does this because he respects his host and hostess, and he is willing to forego his desire for a "good enough" beer so that the host and hostess have no reason to believe that they've not provided well enough for their guests. He does this because he knows that to do otherwise is to say in unmistakable terms "Yes, you tried your best, but you failed. You failed to provide for me. I want better than you have offered." He does this because he knows that to do otherwise is to be an ingrate, and a boor. Manners and courtesy VERY OFTEN mean that not everybody gets exactly what he wants when he wants it, seeing the importance of putting someone else's feelings before his own.

I don't own this simple and, in many circles, well-known and respected convention of what it means to be a good guest. I won't defend it further. Please let it be sufficient to say that I acknowledge its existence while you, for whatever reason, deny it, and let the conclusions be drawn as they may be.

 

[shoreman]

I think you should have been there to enjoy your nieces wedding not judging beers.

I would have have just drank bud and enjoyed the company - most times when at a wedding I'm there to celebrate - not get all nerd dork with the beer selection.

Are you a snob? No.

 

[Mongrel]

All this discussion of proper etiquette at a wedding reminds me of my friend's wedding. His parents didn't want alcohol served at all. He and the bride (or any of their friends) weren't thrilled about it, but no alcohol was served. Some of the bride's friends hit a nearby liquor store and got smashed on Jager in the parking lot. The parents were far from happy, but the reception got a lot more fun after that.

 

[MisterTipsy]

Honestly, Tipsy. I mean, in all sincerity, I believe you don't understand the concept of manners. If the fact that "it isn't an issue for everyone" makes it acceptable, you've just ratcheted "manners" down to the least common denominator, and passing gas at the table is mannerly, because it "isn't an issue for everyone."

Yes, because passing gas at the table and buying your own beer at a wedding are exactly the same thing....not.

And because I don't see a problem with someone buying their own beer at a wedding (which Ihave never done, btw) you think I have no manners whatsoever. OK.

You are really quick to jump to several false conclusions about someone you've never met.

 

[Pilgarlic]

I'm sorry, Tipsy, if the flatulence metaphor offended you. I think it was a valid analogy, and it wasn't meant to be a reflection on your manners.

I don't believe I said that you have no manners whatsoever. I said that you misunderstand manners. I said that because your comments seemed to suggest that manners can be redefined at will when one chooses to ignore them, or that they don't exist if someone disagrees with them. Both of those would be untrue of manners and conventions, which aren't personal choices, so much as social constructs imposed upon us. I may have misunderstood you. Happens all the time.

Cheers.

 

[MisterTipsy]

Don't worry. You can't offend me.

But you did say I think etiquette and manners are BS which implies you think I have no manners.

All I can say is I am a lot more polite than you think.

 

[HumboldtBrewer]

I went to my ladies friends wedding this past weekend. To my surprise they had Sierra Nevada Pale Ale on tap and right next to it was Coors Light. After I drank about six sierras, the Sierra was gone, so I started guzzling good ole Coors, thought nothing of it. But it was a nice surprise to see something other than Any of the 3 BMC and the usual Blue Moon at a wedding. Oh and the flask of Glenfidich 15 year wasn't a bad idea either.

 

[mlyday]

Wow, I had lost track of this thread. It took a big turn for the worst. The bar was right accross from the bathrooms, and the glasses were about the same as the ones upstairs, standard pint. I dont this anybody cared and they never knew. We will be seeing them this summer and Im sure they will get a few laughs out of it.

 

[jerrodm]

This is really funny--I hadn't read the thread the first time around but it seems like at least a couple of people really teed off on it!

I was recently at a wedding for my wife's cousin, and we were sitting at a table with another family member who owns and runs a really great nanobrewery. The beers on tap were all BMC, with maybe a Blue Moon or something. He drank club soda. I drank martinis. We talked about good beer. It was a good night.