Things brewers say that sound so wrong to non-brewers...............

[Yooper]

I have sparkling water on tap @30 psi with 30' of line. It's suddenly spurting, and not pouring well. I got some water but was thinking about the cause.

I said to my husband, "I think I have a leaky poppet".

He looked at me and thought a second, then replied seriously, "Probably from two childbirths".

 

[flars]

My wort is perfect. Really dark.


American pronunciation.

 

[PADave]

I still have gas coming out of my bung hole.

 

[Yooper]

From the forum:

Does this look infected to you?

 

[ProblemChild]

I have a gas leak somewhere and can't seem to find it.

 

[Vandulus]

I have a batch that won't stop off-gassing and smells like sulfur.

 

[Yooper]

I saw this one also on this forum:

I haven't had a blow off in a long time.


I'm childish, but it made me snicker.

 

[AZCoolerBrewer]

I think I didn’t get enough nutrient. I have rhino farts.

 

[Inkleg]

I'll take "Funny things Yooper says" for $500 Alex.

 

[JohnSand]

"I'm trying to get better head"

 

[Zuljin]

Does this taste infected to you?

 

[kh54s10]

How do you get head to last longer?

 

[nDub]

Well apparently my gif won’t work.


Oh well.


Sub’d!

 

[Zuljin]

The damn thing is stuck in my bunghole.

 

[applescrap]

I like to squeeze my sack hard.
Or
How hard do you squeeze your sack?

 

[bob1852]

You should've seen post #4902. Those kegs were shiny!

 

[arturo7]

Any use of the word sparge.

 

[ProblemChild]

Before you pitch your yeast, make sure the bung-hole is clean...

 

[MaxStout]

I like to squeeze my sack hard.
Or
How hard do you squeeze your sack?

HBT is not your personal erotica site.

 

[DU99]

burping a keg...the beer's flat as a ******

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

I think it's leaky. Needs more lube.

 

[Yooper]

I think it's leaky. Needs more lube.

I suppose if you lube your bung it will stay in better.

 

[Homercidal]

I suppose if you lube your bung it will stay in better.

Just the opposite, actually.

 

[Murphys_Law]

I still giggle like a school yard kid at any mention of "bung"!

 

[jimmayhugh]

"Hold my beer and watch this..."

 

[grampamark]

I suppose if you lube your bung it will stay go in better.

FTFY

 

[grampamark]

I imagine asking any non-brewers if they wanted to watch you fly sparge would land you on tomorrow's "perv of the day" list.

 

[b-boy]

Batch sparging is worse - I'm just sayin....

 

[JohnSand]

I've been trying to get some friends to come over for a batch sparge....
My wife won't let me.

 

[Yooper]

Would you come over here and grab my mash paddle?

 

[JohnSand]

"I'm upgrading my equipment"

 

[Velnerj]

My dip tube isn't long enough

 

[AZCoolerBrewer]

I don’t usually put it in the secondary, but I want to dry hop it and keep all the aroma.

 

[swampbrewcrew]

This yeast is building up nicely...

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

I've gotta go check the gravity.

 

[b-boy]

My dip tube isn't long enough

My dip tube is too long (said no one ever).

 

[SEndorf]

I've got a lot of bacteria in my Lambic......

 

[teal]

This tastes yeasty....


I krausened all over the place.

 

[rhoadsrage]

Have you ever seen a well-known member of HBT at a big brew day?

 

[Cyclman]

I had a problematic batch sparge- I think my dip tube came loose from my false bottom.